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Old 09-06-2013, 05:22 AM   #61
mka OP
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Location: Ireland
Oddometer: 264
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well spotted sherlock windmills holmes................well spotted indeed..........i owe you some kind of explanation now don't i..............hmmmmm
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it goes like this
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as part of my reintegration back into society after having done some daft and dangerous and stupid things in the past and having run foul of the law on a few previous occasions i undertook to do some hours of work for various farmers in lieu of time to be served etc etc etc
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so i guess this started me on my ruinous road to infatuation with bovines and such..........this didn't happen overnight..........it was very gradual..........a glance..........a shove............and then the smell...........i know ladies like the smell of horses and even horse manure..........it pleases them (try some horse scent next time with your lady friends............you will be surprised at the interest you will receive).............well the bovine smell started to please me...............i had been on maybe 10 to 12 farms and my hours of service were complete, but..........i wanted more time on the farm..............so the farmers let me do extras in return for hearty breakfasts and rolls in the hay with their daughters............a very suitable arrangment was in place.......
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then when rubbing some of the cows ears just a tickle really...........one of these tags fell out on the ground...........i could see the way they were speared into the poor things ears and thought why not take them all off...........of course the idea grew and filled over a few pints of the black stuff..........till i was laughing to myself in the corner of the bar......i know..........i can fuck with the whole system.............as i had access to 12 farms i cut off the tags of some cows and moved them to other cows in other farms.............it was a bit daft but i had fun and one day reading the local farmers journal........i knew the shit had hit the fan........front page at local mart a ferocious row erupted between two farmers who were selling and it came to blows...............mother of god it got hot and heavy as neither liked the other anyways............so i eased off on this fun practice...............all i had needed was a tagging gun and a few plastic bones to make the whole thing kick off..........!!
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and that, dear windmills is why the number is on both cows......................!! but well spotted none the less...............smart guy.......!! but don't you think the young fresian (black and white) is a real hunny ?
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and i have since stopped this practice and will deny all
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but as your name is windmills and you do like the tigger i went and put this pic together
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i know they are not strictly windmills but it is as close as you get round these parts...........and they make a massive racket......very noisy....!!
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Scooby.................i sincerely thank you for being on the lookout re. my infernal itch and for recommending this treatment
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.......actually i was recommended this by my local curate quite some time ago when we both were a shade under the weather............but i have to tell you Scooby................it tastes like shit............i couldn't keep it down (the genitrex that is) and i had terrible bad breath for nearly a month after swigging it........!!
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so the itch continues.............and it is getting redder and scabbier...........i've been using other potions but frankly none of them taste much good.
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Gham...............it is good to make your acquaintance............i appreciate your candid comments, suggestions and such anytime.............it seems to me a lonely furrow to mow here in the arsehole of the world but ADV makes it all worthwhile.........in case you haven't realised, most of this is thread is just the ravings of a ex depressive bipolar numpty with not much between the ears................but great to think someone reads this nonsense..........!!
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i have to go now - one of my friends has called over and he wants us to go out to play................bye for now
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Old 09-06-2013, 07:35 AM   #62
mka OP
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Location: Ireland
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one for sorrow
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two for joy
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three for a girl
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and four for a........................ahhhh fu*k this........!!!
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summer time and the livin is easy...................no fish and no feckin' cotton neither
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take a good look.............this is our summer.................worse than tundra..................bleak with a capital 'bl'.........!!!
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unmercifully freakin' lonesome.....................no wonder i take pics of f*ckin animals.............!!
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and believe me i've photoshopped these bastard pictures up the wazoo to make them look their best...............!!! now do you understand what it's like..??
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to hear the heee fu*kin haww of the bloody donkey in the mist on top of a miserable windy lump of sodden mountain.............how f*ckin sane would you be...??
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and to be so fu*kin easily amused to get off your bike and take a picture of the heee fu*kin haww standing there looking at you thinkin to himself...
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'who the f*ck is this gobshite........out here in the shithole we have to live in.................he must be a right dickwad....!'
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right..............rant over.................go you'se and do something useful and no be readin' this crap.
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i'm goin' back out to play
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Old 09-19-2013, 10:53 AM   #63
mka OP
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go guzzi go....!!

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just back from trip round italia slovenia, croatia etc and saw some cool old guzzi bikes here and there...........!!
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will do up small report too next week
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Old 09-24-2013, 10:15 AM   #64
mka OP
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start of small report of last trip.......!!! it might be a longer rave as i took plenty of pics and i may need some rants during the process, please bear with me or reply with a polite f*ck off..........or not so polite either !
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i had planned it for longer but my youngest is not at her best this last while. we thought the new pup would help her but it set everything back big time. she was totally afraid of the pup (i wanted to call her teabag but was overruled and harper was the name she got.........after harper lee !)
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as a result of the problems with the puppy it had to be re-homed on a farm with other dogs, so she is very happy and things are back to a better setup in the home place. we kept her over 2 months but it was just getting worse, so off to the farm she went and very happy too !
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so re booked flight away and i was like a jumpin jackrabbit to get going...............eventually after 3 hours drive from west of ireland, 3 hours flight, all the waiting, bus from airport, train to lago di como and taxi.............i had arrived, and already bucked tired...!!
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never tire of this train station..............we just don't have stuff on this scale at home
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so i get my stuff loaded on to bike............after checking her out..............turn key and fires first time............mega, this is always the bit i be a bit nervous over but she never lets me down..............no trickle charger no nothing.............but the more i ride the gs and the tiger the more i realise this is a bloody tractor bike.............too heavy too lumpy too much effort compared to the others...............anyways away up the road.
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adrenaline time................excited.........jumpy......... .......freedom................it was hot, it was dry and it was bright...............perfect.
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soon i hit Bellano on east side of lake and go right up hill and on and on up............i had in mind to do long run to border with Slovenia but i was checking out www.bestbikingroads.com and spotted these great runs all the way to lago d'iseo up near monte grigna nearly 8,000 ft up. So i am heading higher and higher and it is colling down nicely................great twisties and i can't get off the bike............or maybe i don't want to.
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eventually i remember i have to record the run in some way and i dismount....................satiated after great tight turns and good inclines.
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good place to take a leak..................apologies ladies if you are reading..........i would like to apologise to you personally if you are in any way offended.
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loads of tunnels and bridges and waterfalls etc...........but too much fun to stop
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so i am scooting through wee towns such as Primaluna, Introbio etc and the feeling is good inside..............lightening up even though my 'tractor' is heavy to the touch.
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i took a wrong turn (can i really do that.............this is supposed to be by the seat of the pants.........anywhere goes etc) and met this bridge.....cool..........it had a memorial to the fallen from WWI on one side and WWII on the other...............all the young men from the town, lives wasted and forever young in their mothers eyes, in their sweethearts eyes..........never to age, to grow old, to live)
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did any tears fall here, down the long way to the stream, from mothers eyes and lovers eyes....................i would think it surely must be so.
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the roads are deserted and progress is great.............good sweeping bends..........great scenery..............and everything is now.
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the tractor looking all clean and shiny....!!
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it seems a lot of these houses are only accessible by walking but they sit on some amazing hills overlooking deep valleys, i get distracted by some of this stuff...
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but the road ahead is curvy and hot and smooth.............and she's calling me onwards.................on to my inevitable doom................but i go on cos i wouldn't want anything else...!!
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i must have been thinkin' too much about her curves cos this hoor passed me and i didn't even notice...........!!
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believe it or not but the drop from here was pretty extreme...........it just dived off down...........not good with heights and got dizzy when too close.
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these little houses are called 'rustico's' and they were used by farmers in the old days when they were up mountain in the summer grazing sheep, cattle and such. i think they were only used during months of long evenings but now get bought up and developed as holiday pads for the touristici.
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getting higher now and cooler and overhanging rocks and such are great to ride under...........only got partial pics here as it was too good to stop !
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tunnels cut square............!!!
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sorry, smugmug is soooooooo sloooow right now................or maybe it is my connection............i'll chat ya later dudes and dudettes.........!!
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Old 09-24-2013, 03:51 PM   #65
EnderTheX
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Enjoying the ride, the rant and the views! Great job
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Old 09-27-2013, 10:56 AM   #66
mka OP
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Location: Ireland
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hey drunken squirrel man..........EnderTheX...................thank you kindly for them kind words of support...........truly valued in this empty space i like to call my reality...!!
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as i said above also i would like to personally apologies to the ladies for any thing untoward i may have written in the past or am likely to in the future..
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last of the overhanging rock for now..
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spied this bridge........nothing special until i realised it is very very narrow.........to me just another everyday work of art littering the roads and streets of this amazing country...it seems it was built to handle the massive flows when the ice melts and the torrents flow.........i like it..........the bridge is in a small place called
San Giovanni Bianci.
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i was getting near the town of 'san pellegrino terme' - yes, that of the famous water............!! it's just an ordinary town on edge of alps half way up a mountain and it manages to distribute its water all over the world..............amazing................the main feature in the town is a massive.......guess what...........yes a massive fountain....!!!
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this is just a house on side of road.............but check the work on windows, below roof, round the door...............incredible........!!! i suppose i am a bit in awe of all this stuff............amazing frescoes and all that kinda thing everywhere
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next wee place over the hills and far away was Fattoria Ariete and also near Passo di Zambla...........just a small town, small pass, but very nice to spin through........great sweeping bends and all the rest
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as you can see it is a bit dull and getting a bit dark hence the shitty pictures..........!!!
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the houses look a bit austrian...a bit sound of music...kinda..........you get my drift.
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round the corner and up the hill and arrivato at the top
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a few bikers were hanging out there and some nice looking ladies in skintight jeans.............had to wait a while before i could get back on the bike........!!
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so, while waiting for the blood to cool (the sun had come out too) i spied some other horsepower
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"i couldn't even get on the bike, no way i could get on a horse, but jaysus i couldda got on one of those ladies.........!!! hahahha "
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(so now you meet my evil twin........yes folks, he's outta the bag...i take no responsibility from here on in but i will try to continue)
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we (might as well include the twin here) were heading for a town called paradise..........no a town called Lovere at northern tip of Lago d'Iseo.............small lake lies just west of Lake Garda......!!
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so we spin down the steep hills and both of us thinking of the amazing thing that is the female body, the sheer perfection of form, the curves, the bumps and all the rest..............ladies, you gotta understand it is the body i am talking about nothing else............whatever the man/woman above did when he/she took out his/her pencil to start sketching he/she nailed it big time............i mean big time..............maybe it's just me but i see perfection everywhere in the female form......hmmmmmm...!!! is this my twin that speaks............??
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ok.............Lovere.................fine town.......marina and all that jazz
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i was gettin a bit tired by now.............on the go since 1 am from home and a bit dehydrated from it all so wanted to get a place to lie down.............and i was so f*ckin hungry by now too..
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and no i didn't stay here............cool looking spot though........sure it was full of ladies toooooo............!!!
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i pitched up at this joint...............very nice..........easy parking in garage...............all the rest too...
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right.......time to find and demolish a scabby dog or two
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sun was setting and i put my nose to the road in search of anything on a plate or near a plate or under a plate or nowhere near a plate
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no, i didn't eat here.......romantic place...........dinner for one (couldn't explain about my twin here) cos i am a sad fu*k but not that sad...........!! well, maybe i am.
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i found another joint by the water...............swept in sat down made lots of noise ordered much food and wine stuffed both my faces belched burped repeated and ordered dessert.........coffee..........limoncella........ ........beer..............more beer..............and some more even............then a night cap and a stagger down to my fleapit bed............just in time to catch the latest episode of trivia repeating inside my tiny mind and sloowly off to the land of nod...........still all the while thinkin about those skintight jeans............did i mention those before ?!!
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this was the only bloody thing i didn't eat that night.......no pics...........nothing.......i was too f**ked up tired, hungry, wrecked..........i don't even know exactly what i did eat.......but there was quite a lot of alcohol...........this became evident as dawn approached, was her name really dawn...........?
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it took 4 of these to kick start me back to the hotel before i almost walked past a bar..............what a waste that would have been..........if only i could remember the main features.........even splices of time.......but no, nothing, sorry...
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this was the walkway by the lake on my way out but nothing of the way back......apologies..........i do my best you know.
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so after a long and great day, having been in jeeps, cars, taxis, trains, plane, bus, on foot and most especially on bike..........i lay my head down and dawn came slowly and it sure felt good.
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Old 09-28-2013, 10:44 AM   #67
mka OP
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after a long and turbulent night dawn eventually rose on me..................and i felt good as the sun shone in the windows.
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having dispensed with last nights merriment and such i headed down for a bit to eat by which time it was f**king raining and coming down hard............i suppose it took a long time for dawn to come and i didn't notice the clouds gathering.
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so i spent what felt like a day and a half putting on the wet gear...........cursing......sweating..........fall ing over...........cursing again...........you get the drift.
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eventually off and up the road...............it was so bloody overcast by now................crap !
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this is near Marone.............would be better if sun shone through
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i had a long spin today, give or take 700 km thru aoutostradas and over passes and through borders............and it was already 9 am..............blame dawn.
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so down along east side of the lake d'Iseo i meandered.................head slowly clearing...........remembering things i would have preferred not to remember and forgetting the good stuff i bet.
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as it was a sunday morning i doffed my cap to nearest church, i didn't go in as i was in a hurry and anyways cos jepus (see homer simpson) rides with me.........!!
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some islands in the small lake would have been cool to visit too...!!
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again pics are crap - blame it on the weather please
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so now for big jaunt south and east........at least 10 minutes ride............next stop would be..........!!
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a petrol station.........!!!
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no just joking, next stop would be....................!!!!
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slovenia............!!! or as i explained to my kids trannnssssllllooooovvvveeeeennnniiiiiaaaaaaaaaaa.. .........!! (after the movie you see)
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so i had to say gooodybye to the land of my hearts desire.........!!
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it was ating time at the zoo by now.................so just fifty yards up the road i skipped into an ating house...............slovenian style...........!!!
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so what did i order.................what any self respecting nobhead would order...............some calamari..............!!! hahahaha
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out comes this plateful.............wtf, or more wilfully put WTF..........!!
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i also ordered a plate of popeye stuff..................!!!! hahahahaha
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out comes a whole years supply of spinachio.................!!!
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these were local delights and I always believe in trying all the local delights..................but honest to god i fell into the plate of spinach and had to be rescued by a very cute local delight waitress.............who couldn't help but laugh at me..............as she suggested the feckin' food in the first place..............!!!!
i did my best for her, i truly did, but i couldn't get to the bottom of it.............i squeezed lemons on it...............i poured olive oil on it.........she told me not to be putting oil or lemons on it....!!!.........but eventually i had to tell her i was finished...............she looked at me and smiled..............you foreigners are not real men merely boys her brown eyes were telling me............nevertheless i stared deep into her brown, brown eyes and asked her for a coffee and something sweet if she could manage it..............!!!
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all i got was the coffee............!!! hahahahahaha
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the something sweet was coming as i was heading for the door and it would not have been polite to refuse..............so.............i was polite....!!
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having said our goodbyes.............i headed up the road, quite literally, up hill all the way.................amazing scenery............beautiful..........as explained before i was trying to take in the routes from www.bestbikingroads.com in order to get a true sense of where i was etc etc and not to get bored rigid to tell the truth...!!
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Slovenia was looking good so far....................still dull but dry for now...................hahahahahahaha.............. this would not remain so............!!!
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lots of trees here and some cool enough straight roads..................novelty for me, so i had to take some pictures....!
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i look at life from both sides now, from up above and then somehow.................puke
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i was heading towards a town called Bovec and hopefully the Vrsjic pass soon after.
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went through this wee town but sky was like a dogs arse by now.
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i was pulled over by the local police here...............i think they wanted to know why i couldn't finish my spinach..........i tried to explain but they left feeling a bit bewildered i believe..............i felt a bit bewildered myself cos no f**kin way would you get pulled over in Ireland for not eating your greens....!!!
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by now i'm heading uphill and great bends are opening out their arms to greet me.............amazing place this Slovenia..............good roads too.
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but it's starting to rain.......and it's like irish rain.................the f**king kind of rain that has no off button...................bollox..............relax and take the way man i say to myself...........it is wot it is...............it's is luvly really..............yeah..............much better now.
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at both sides now....................puke
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and the tractor in the rain...........!!
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but i was getting glimpses of a river near the road................not the colour of water in my part of the world.....!!
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some unusual signs on road side too...!
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the small building, it turned out was not a toilet at all but a place for holy statues and candles and such stuff.
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i am sorry but i gotta go....................this bloody itch is back and it's driving me nuts...................it's driving me nuts................it's driving me nuts...........and the f**king doctor even gave me a repeat prescription..............!!
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meet you on the flip side
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Old 09-30-2013, 08:41 AM   #68
mka OP
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Joined: Oct 2012
Location: Ireland
Oddometer: 264
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the rain rain rain came down down down
in rushing rising riv'lets
till the river crept out of its bed
and crept right into piglets !

and the rain rain rain came down down down
so piglet started bailing
he was unaware, while atop his chair,
while bailing he was sailing !
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brilliant................fresh clean water...................all around....................and rivers flowing........................and sap rising.....................all it always being now !!
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and Homer came to mind and jepus and i stopped near a church to cleanse myself in a spiritual way................and here it seems they have big time for the .......
............ pelican .........!! maybe the eyesight is going but it looks like a pelican on the clock face.................... in trannnslllllooooooooooovveniiiiaaaaaaaaa ??
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ??
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stopped again.......pics of country life in the hills.......!!
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i was standing around breathing in the cool clean air when a wee man with fe*k all teeth stuck his head out of this hole and started to sing !!
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i missed him with the camera but got his hole at least !
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this place is for sale...............not in the best condition but it seems lots of this stuff being done up..........interested ? ........ commission ???
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little old piglet was saved cos it finally stopped raining !! nice town of Bovec............seems central in the triglav national park.............v v v nice area !!
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and soon it was back to this sort of thing...............very distracting when on slippy roads..............it's like seeing a lady from behind............it's instinct.......you've just gotta look...!!
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stopped again going uphill ...... road seemed to skirt along this river most of the way up ......... i think it is called the Soca river..........and piglet was bailing again as the heavens opened................this little flower was being pasted but smiled on anyways.............!!
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and there was a cool bridge across which was fun to jump on as it was really wobbly.............i considered bringing the bike over it but hadn't the balls............how would i explain it if i had to walk back home ? ............ so i just ran over and back wobblying like mad !!
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the bike was behaving itself and i had my wet gear on............before when i had the wet gear on after many hours the water would find it's way up and into my boots so this time i had brought gators/gaitors..............things you attach to your legs and zip up................whatever ............ these things worked brilliantly...........highly recommended for long term rain use.......!!
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another flower , just for you !
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the river was flowing fast and it was very noisy............i couldn't hear myself think...............so i quit thinking..............and enjoyed it all the more..........!!
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so it was the Soca..........!!
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in all this time...........i had only run into the toothless singing man..................no one was out and about...............too wet i suppose..............but it felt lonesome as there were no cars or bikes either................just me and piglet doing our thing.............!!! sad bastards...........hahahaahaha..........!!! blah blah blah
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i was parting company with the cool river and looking down easier as the twists had started ............ quick pic of road below
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it was good crack getting this unbalanced tractor round the bends at speed trying not to slip around too much while the mentally unbalanced rider kept looking off into the distance for some form, any form of life..............nope..................nothing
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and of course the road ahead.............it's always on front of you...............!!!
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the brain is asking me 'what is your biggest life regret...............??' WTF..................i don't need this shit...............i'm working here...............!!
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with lots of this...........!!
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bits of that.............!!
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and some of the other.......................!!
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i finally made it to Vrsjic pass...................no big deal really..........nice run up even in the rain............very scenic......
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it's a bit strange as in most mountainous pass areas they put a number to mark each switchback........same here............except they start at bottom of one end and end at bottom of other end.............1 2 3 4 5 etc all the way to the top eg 88 and down the other side 89 90 91 92 93 etc..............?? wasn't sure about this.........because i was going up the down way (?!!) i thought top would be 0 not 28................disappointed not more switchbacks but not gettin upset !
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so on way down.............every corner has all new surface.............perfect in the rain too..............!! ??
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shlip slidin', shlip slidin' away...............near your destination..........shlip slidin' away...........
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lonesome spot
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and a way's down too
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gotta run.............me granny wants me to feed the hens..............!!
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Old 10-02-2013, 10:51 AM   #69
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can you believe it ........... the hens are laying eggs with no shells.............. amazing................what's goin' on with that..............???
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and granny has more hens than teeth..................!!!
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as the old saying goes.............'as rare as hens teeth......!!'
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the agricutlural man came down to the farm to check the shell-less eggs and he's away off now scratching his head......??!!!
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i'll keep you updated on events down on the farm as i know your inquiring minds will be on the edge of your seats with anticipation of the situation at hand....!!!
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so....anyways.............after slipping down the other side of the hill..........i had planned to go towards Lake Bled............. so i did go towards...
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here i shed a tear for parnell (strained the spuds...........drained the lizard..........you get the drift)(history buffs checkout charles stuart parnell-home rule etc)
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and climbed all the way up on the saddle again............great run to the lake.......simple..............close by.
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dis be da lake and castle too
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i was mouldy with the hunger by now......wanted somethin' sweet and on a plate....use of knife or fork would be optional.
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i explained my case to the waiter i found and fair fucks to him he rustled up a good one.............a local delicacy he said............just get me a fork i said and we left the niceties at the door..............he could see my point when i asked for 'same again boss'.........indeed he seemed a might impressed and asked to take my photo............i was confused and thought he wanted to take a photo of the cake...........so i said ok................then he gets his camera and points it at me.................i told him to shove his fu*kin camera up his translovenain hole..............i think he got the picture (!!) cos he politely removed both himself and camera from the immediate vicinity................!!!
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maybe it didn't happen quite like that but then again maybe it did !
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and here's the culprit/evidence
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the cakes were very good.........coffee was mega and my sugar balance was restored.......so much so...........i went in to apologise to the waiter......he headed out the back door.....i followed and finally got to him....................all was well..........many laughs.........smiles................handshakes... .........big tip..........!!!
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very nice place...............highly recommended and if there take note of any camera situations which may arise
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it is even bike friendly....see sign left of photo............but this may have been removed after my chat with the waiter !
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and another of the really good restaurant with extremely patient staff..........!!
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ok now some of Lake Bled..............overcast and dull too.......but your intrepid reporter did his duty anyways
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praise jepus
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an caislean mor
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an caislean mor..........from a distance
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green green green
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people out and about
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have to admit it....................Slovenia is very pretty place.............perfectly formed...............outdoorsy kinda place...............good people too !!
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cool boats just bobbing around by the edge......i think you can't just take them yourself.........but rent them............i went on one and things didn't work out the best as i thought you just went out on your own or with a cailin deas (pretty girl) and made waves etc................but no..............that's not how it works here......!!
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i was watching this boat just in case of any funny business........but all was well............. i could relax........!!
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local buses
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one last look at the funny boats.........i was thinking of next stop........Ljubljana.............so better get my skates on..........!!!
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lots of thoughts going on at this stage.................blood sugar coursing through my veins..........girls out walking............all that jazz too...........i can't do much damage if i'm on the bike...............so that's where i parked myself................up the road
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Ljubljana...............by the time i got there...........i was tired and cake had worn off...............no pics..............not much remarkable in my braincells either..............some nice crossroads in city centre................but as soon as i was there i was thinking of being somewhere else............!!??
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i had read of good biking roads going south to Croatia.................so i made like a bee for them..............yahoooooooooooo...........good choice
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Postojna area ...................Jelsane ............too good to stop.............sorry no pics
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petrol/gas so all you get is a pic of the petrol/gas station..............hahahahahaha...........!!
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i eventually pulled in at what looked like a likely spot to meet locals.................there was a pig or something of that size being roasted on what looked like a communal spit in the village..................good pub.................big sinky bed....................great company................soft gentle busty ladies...........great beer...............oh the night was good and we got on without any language barriers.............multilingual........or does it start with a c..............great night all round............soft bed...........oh i already mentioned that...............great food.................maggoty head next morning as the local brew is very heady it seems..............camera battery was bucked .......hahahahaha................!!
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Old 10-03-2013, 05:46 AM   #70
mka OP
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well, the camera battery was done in...................the spares, yes spares were dead (never used).............strange rectangular battery not easily purchased (i had to buy mine on the wonder web)...................soooo,.................hmmm mmmmmmmmmm...........i figured i would just tool about all day in the vicinity...........!!
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i meandered in and out of Slovenia, Croatia and even on towards Zagreb, Plitvice lakes etc.......................great day but very fuzzy in the head.............the local porter (beer) must have been horrid strong altogether................not usually this vacant.............not usually.
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great roads........and back roads.............and tracks too...............weather cleared up big time..................head finally cleared up too..............thought of going back to Ljubljana but didn't................regrets.................?
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so..............evening was coming..............I headed west again and ended back near village of big soft bed..............this time I figured try road to Jelsane..............all the time I am looking for a likely shop which may sell me a battery or new charger to get my pictorial review going again.........!!!
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my luck was in...............!!!
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at the border with Croatia I found the shop and they had batteries and chargers...........!!!...............i loaded up battery and mighty, we're off again.............!!
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this be the shop of which i write
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and the border crossing too
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and croatia welcomes you..........!!!
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Old 10-07-2013, 08:22 AM   #71
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so, it was starting to get dark and i had a mighty day of good twisty routes but now wanted to get somewhere to rest. So I headed toward Opatija, a town on the coast of the adriatic which would leave me central for next days messing about. There was no phone coverage all day on my phone at least. There were storms forecast so I thought no problem as it would pass.
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So I get into Opatija after sundown.............and head to a hotel on the shore................looks bloody good...........hotel kvarner, or to give it the full title.............grand hotel kvarner..............big opulent looking joint..........high ceilings...............chandeliers...............i felt totally out of place.................anyway i soldier on to the man on reception............how much is a room..........says i ...................huh......says he.................fuck this.........says i (to myself.....!!)............40 euros...........!!!
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but to park bike outside is 10 euros..............!!!...........expensive for bike and cheap for me.......................hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......... ..!!!
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i just stood there.............it looked the kind of place it would cost 40 euros just to park your car............!!
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grand...says i ...........he gives me a big ugly key on a bigger uglier keyring...............i make my way up to a totally 'f'ugly room...............kindly put..........- a dump..!!
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well, says i to myself................it's perfect for the likes of me................just perfect............!!!..........insects........... .dirt...............creaky floor............crap loo...!!!
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......perfect...........!!....i do believe it was a converted wardrobe from a real room, but that's just the architect in me................!!!
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i make my way down to reception again.............the buck thinks i am about to complain hahahahaha...........i asked him where to get something nice to eat....!!
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he looks long and hard at me...............here.....says he...............go left.........dinner..........now.............eat.. .............good..............bye................ ..!!!
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so i do what i'm told ......................... 3 words to describe the food.......................shit shit shit.......................!!
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please brace yourself for following photos..............it's quite something.................!!
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ok......so it's just salad.................but............MOJ.......... ..........that's mother of jesus to you..............it was rubbery.............??
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the above tasted like canned dog food (i have eaten canned dog food, it was quite a while ago...................and it's a whole other story but describes this to a tee..!!)
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now, the worst thing was, this was self service................you had to go choose this shit yourself so you couldn't blame anyone else.........!!
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it was a sad f*ckin scene...........all these oldies/crusties waddling about picking at this and that.............no one really eating anything............and the most obnoxious staff overseeing the whole f*ckin room.................the staff in this joint must have been extras in a f*ckin nazi movie being filmed up the road.............!!
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i ate nothing..................it was safer to abstain................it was a total joke......everyone was being ripped off and no one would speak up........fear and loathing in another mans country.................!!
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you thought i was bullshitting you about the high ceilings and chandeliers................!!!
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now.........i still had no phone service...so i ask the buck on reception.................he blanks me................wanker...........!!!
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so i head uptown to find a public phone..................not a f*ckin one in the whole place..............two t-mobile phones and they out of order......!!
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reason for this is i had promised to ring my youngest this night before 6 pm and they were expecting my call big time...............i knew this too well.............!!
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so...........no way to call..............eventually i spied what looked like a foreigner and politely asked to use her phone, after some small talk we went back to her place.........sorry, i mean she let me use hers and i got through for a minute..................hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......... ..!!
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my darling wife had been worried sick and thought i must have been in an accident..................but as she rightly pointed out................she didn't know what kind of bike I was on, didn't know the registration number, didn't know even which f*ckin country I was in...........she had spent the time consoling our baby all the while imagining me dead or worse, having a good time(i put this bit in myself, sorry)..........!!!...she didn't know anything and had been checking online about motorbike/car accidents in Italy and to the east.....................!!!
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it was a long minute........................!!!................. she was very upset indeed....................!!!...............i was very contrite, indeed..............!!!
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........!!! i see her point, indeed, and vowed to ring home again next day.
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i went for a wander out in the dark and felt bad about the above situation.........i may have to get some more presents on the way home...........!!
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found a pub.............food............but everyone working in this town whom i met was a total bollox............not friendly, just rude and obnoxious............i vowed to myself i'd get out of croatia by next sundown.............and make others wary of the pricks who work here...........it was an education...............and some places would not take euros.............only their own precious f**kin krona/e/er..........!!
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i took some pics of the hotel next morning to prove to you how high class this joint looked.............observe, ladies and gentlemen...........!
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the outdoor pool, not the indoor one.........!!
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view from a terrace....!!
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i went for a walk along the promenade thing.
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and came across this lady but i think she was for the birds...........!!
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eventually i came to this fella.................
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..i looked and then it dawned on me...................you'd have to be up early to fool me..............i had seen this kind of thing before.................it's quite something...............you just rest your 'manhood' in the man's hand and when you do..............he tells your fortune...........no bother................so i unzip and proceed as you would..........rest the whole lot there and wait................now it was early and not many people were around and it felt a little chilly too............but i persevered...................no, nothing...............not a dickey from the man himself..............and then i leapt when behind me i heard a scream.............a little old lady didn't seem to understand the quaint old custom she was witnessing............oh well says i to myself............i'll go buy some breakfast...............so i zipped up and off i went...............i was fairly hungry by now not having eaten in the hotel the night before..........!!!.....
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breakfast was just coffee and a mangy bun.............!!
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great bright morning it was turning out to be...................!!
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and mustn't forget jepus homer.
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this be the dump i speak of................!!
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i managed to get two more of those stars off the sign before i was chased off....................!!!
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and one more look at the pool just for the memories.
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the place left me pondering as shakespeare would - ' how could such a beautiful hotel be such a f**kin dump..............??'
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Old 10-10-2013, 06:12 AM   #72
mka OP
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sometimes i'm not sure there is anyone out there...............anyone at all...................out there.........
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i put this pic in just to see if anyone is paying attention..........hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............ .what if i'm right.........what if i'm all alone......!!!
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just one of a spin i took round parts of the great county of donegal in the north west of this wee country............last saturday
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it could be that in later times aliens will find the great www.advrider.com and learn many things about the long since extinct race that worshipped the motorcycle and wrote many strange words in praise of this primitive mechanical device.....................!!!
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and back to the story in hand............!!
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well............Croatia, specifically Opatija had been a bit of a balls for me...............so i loaded up and headed away...........i headed west and north.........it was gettin time to meander homewardish..................!!
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some great roads along the Slovenian border and it was a good sunny morning..........it had taken forever to even get out of Opatija cos every f**kin road out seemed closed for roadworks which further diminished my love for this town.
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eventually i pulled off the road onto some tracks just to improve my mood............
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some of the tracks were mighty fun and even the tractor and farmer (me) had a ball................eventually came across an old straw hat i had left hanging here many moons previously...........it was in sorry shape though
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after some good time i got back on the road................very good surface and a perfect day.
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i actually did see some deer but all i got a picture of was this.
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i could not believe that there was a sign with instructions on how to light forest fires.............!
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so i went along quietly, thinking to myself, and soon i was across the border and back into Italia..............i skirted round Trieste and had in mind to stop at a wee town called Sistiana...................don't know why...............it looked ok on the map when i was planning this spin.
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eventually I pulled over at a sign for Castello Miromare and was very impressed by this strapping man with his bicycle...........he was doing some sort of holy ride for jesus and mary and such...............i couldn't get chatting him as he was saying prayers the whole time so i just nodded politely towards him and went on my way.
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before riding on i took a few pics, the whole time all i could hear was the quiet chant of the prayers in the background, it was soothing before it got annoying, before it got irritating, before it got maddening................
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i'm guessing this is some sort of mussel/shell farming technique....?
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tower of babel...........??
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the bollix on the bike was going off on one by now shouting and jumping around as if he'd been stung by a wasp (maybe he was stung by a wasp) so i just left him there with his bike and his mary and his jesus and his flag.
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........................!!
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Old 10-10-2013, 06:17 AM   #73
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do you believe in miracles................??
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one minute he wasn't there............
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and the next minute - he was............
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and the next time i looked he was gone again.................somewhere down there.........?
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Old 10-10-2013, 09:44 AM   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mka View Post
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sometimes i'm not sure there is anyone out there...............anyone at all...................out there.........
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i put this pic in just to see if anyone is paying attention..........hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............ .what if i'm right.........what if i'm all alone......!!!
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Nay, don't despair, you're not alone. Nor I these days as your rants and ramblings keep this sad, sad numptie company during day long confinements in a cold, lifeless box others call an office while plotting my escape to ride unknown roads that always end at a Pub.
.........Carry on good sir...




Quote:
Originally Posted by mka View Post
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.........indeed he seemed a might impressed and asked to take my photo............i was confused and thought he wanted to take a photo of the cake...........so i said ok................then he gets his camera and points it at me.................i told him to shove his fu*kin camera up his translovenain hole..............i think he got the picture (!!) cos he politely removed both himself and camera from the immediate vicinity

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maybe it didn't happen quite like that but then again maybe it did !
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...............

.......Curious.....

......Is it ancient Irish tribal belief that one loses their soul to a device that captures one's image?......

.....Or witness protection program perhaps?.......
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Old 10-14-2013, 04:28 AM   #75
mka OP
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooby View Post
Nay, don't despair, you're not alone. Nor I these days as your rants and ramblings keep this sad, sad numptie company during day long confinements in a cold, lifeless box others call an office while plotting my escape to ride unknown roads that always end at a Pub.
.........Carry on good sir...







.......Curious.....

......Is it ancient Irish tribal belief that one loses their soul to a device that captures one's image?......

.....Or witness protection program perhaps?.......
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right on both counts about photos Shooby..................right on both..........................!!!
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and the winter is fast approaching here...............still dry but bloody cold when flying about by the seat of your pants up hill and round bend.............whiskey is a false heat too................better to drink the tae/tea....and where pray does Shooby ride to when not in solitary confinement............is it the desert perhaps...??
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adios amigo
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