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Old 06-14-2013, 10:36 AM   #1
a65l OP
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My Van wont do a donut....

It was raining yesterday, and I had to do a U-turn. So I turned off the ASR, figuring I'd just slide the back end around on the wet pavement. I had the green arrow, nobody was around, so I cut the wheel and stepped on the gas.

Van's answer: Denied.

As soon as the van started sliding the little safety triangle started blinking and the computer started screwing around, and the next thing I knew I was back straight in my lane.

Is this another insidious government plot to keep us in line?

What if I have to get all sideways to kill zombies on the road?
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Old 06-14-2013, 10:53 AM   #2
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Is this another insidious government plot to keep us in line?
This is the case and your employer thanks them for not letting you do donuts in their service van....


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Old 06-14-2013, 10:57 AM   #3
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Actually, it's my personal toy hauler van, although they are mostly commercial vehicles.....
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:17 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by a65l View Post
It was raining yesterday, and I had to do a U-turn. So I turned off the ASR, figuring I'd just slide the back end around on the wet pavement. I had the green arrow, nobody was around, so I cut the wheel and stepped on the gas.

Van's answer: Denied.

As soon as the van started sliding the little safety triangle started blinking and the computer started screwing around, and the next thing I knew I was back straight in my lane.

Is this another insidious government plot to keep us in line?

What if I have to get all sideways to kill zombies on the road?
Jeremy Clarkson regularly bitches about automakers not really turning ASR off when the button is pressed, so it's not just here.
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:18 AM   #5
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So what you are saying the defeat button has a defeat! Fucking Government saving us from ourselves again. Pretty soon all cars will drive themselves like the new Merc. And women will STILL be able to hit you whilst putting on their makeup and texting.
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:20 AM   #6
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Usually there is a secret code to turn it all of the way off. In my F150, just pressing the TC off only lets you spin in a straight line, no sideways, but if you hold it for 5 seconds, then it turns everything off and you can do whatever you want.
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:43 AM   #7
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I used to be able to get my old British Telecom Ford Transit van sideways all the time - The service dept always wondered why my tires wore fast .....
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Old 06-14-2013, 12:10 PM   #8
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Just a guess...were you driving a sprinter?
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Old 06-14-2013, 12:41 PM   #9
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Why yes. Yes I was.
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Old 06-14-2013, 01:43 PM   #10
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Why yes. Yes I was.
Funny because I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night

Just kidding...I figured as much because Benz has a habit of letting you think you turn of the electronic nanny - but in reality its still on only to a little more accepting nature but not much. Its at the mfg's discretion as to whether or not to actually fully disable them and given the liability climate these days, I bet more will go this way. Stinks eh? You need an old Econoline!
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Old 06-14-2013, 02:48 PM   #11
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I miss my E350. Had the 2-valve V10 Triton motor, with a tuner, cold air and pipe. Not only would it light the tires at will, I could drift the thing fairly well for such a big&tall vehicle.
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Old 06-14-2013, 06:12 PM   #12
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As soon as the van started sliding the little safety triangle started blinking and the computer started screwing around, and the next thing I knew I was back straight in my lane.
This is common with a lot of vehicles. Not only does the traction control have to be turned off but the wheel speed sensors may also have to be disconnected. That may or may not be possible. Even if possible, the answer could be pricey. Depends on the vehicle.

I was just as pissed off as you when I found out that I couldn't drift my Hemi Magnum without a bunch of work.
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Old 06-15-2013, 08:39 AM   #13
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Usually there is a secret code to turn it all of the way off. In my F150, just pressing the TC off only lets you spin in a straight line, no sideways, but if you hold it for 5 seconds, then it turns everything off and you can do whatever you want.
Now I have to find GM's secret code......The TC has pissed me off a couple times at the top of them long icy hills when you are just making it up and then the stoopid thing engages a brake and slows you down even more.

Another thing they don't tell you in my manual is that spinning the wheels right on first start up, as in up my icy driveway then the ABS/Stabilitrak/TC won't have time/distance to do its "self checks" and all the lights will start flashing. Service.....service.....service!!!! Much cheaper to just stop/restart.

Not in my manual but sure is in other GM products with the same nanny.
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Old 06-18-2013, 06:54 PM   #14
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The one that pissed me off was the traction control on me 04 VW Jetta. It was stick shift so if the wheels spun on tke off the traction control would cut the engine nd some times apply some brake. This had the result of occasionally stalling the engine. So in bad snow days it was best to drive with traction control off. Made you wonder what the traction control was for then lol.
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Old 06-18-2013, 07:17 PM   #15
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Just saw a friend last weekend. She was telling me about the new Nissan Fuze she's thinking of buying. I know her driving habits so told her to try u-turns on the next test drive.

I think my GM fixed itself of the TC/Stabilitrak/ABS bad habits. All the warning lights came flashing on me twice today.Second reset only lasted a couple miles. Probably corrosion...first time I drive it in a month over long distances.Time to pull some fuses....!
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