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Old 08-28-2005, 04:01 PM   #76
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pilot
Dan's secret is OUT!


I love Johnny Trademark's Big Ruckus. :rabia
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Old 08-28-2005, 04:02 PM   #77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Photog


Has your Ruckus caused serious neck strain during accleration? Call the law offices of Rider, Snoid, & Mutt, specialists in Ruckus-related neck injuries.
BWAAAAAAAAA!
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Old 08-28-2005, 04:02 PM   #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GaelicDog
But the Big Ruckus is not really a step through?
I stepped right through it.
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Old 08-28-2005, 04:27 PM   #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rider
I stepped right in it.
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Old 08-28-2005, 04:39 PM   #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GaelicDog
What is the official fomula to determine a Scooter? You know, weight to horsepower? Height/weight vs horsepower/displacement? Color versus testicle size?
I cant define what a scooter is, but I know one when I see one.
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Old 08-28-2005, 04:40 PM   #81
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Not all scooters have the luxurious ground clearance of the Ruckus.



In the background you can see a little old lady on one of those mobility scooters. Cute, I thought--we'd have our two scoots in the foreground, and and the Hoveround in the background. Neato.

She stayed there for a while staring straight down. I mean, a long time. Enough time for us to get some produce. We came back, and she was still motionless.



WTF? She's not moving. Should I go over and check for a pulse?

I heard a faint whirring. It was either the 300w motor or her pacemaker. Wasn't sure.

Let's zoom in a bit, shall we?



She's high-centered the Hoveround.





Oh, okay, so it's not nice to snicker.

About the time I went over to shove her over the speedbump, one of her relatives showed up in a Chevy truck and pushed her off the speed bump, so she made it home and probably called JC Whitney to order a new bash plate and the upgraded 450watt motor.
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Old 08-28-2005, 05:29 PM   #82
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Photog
Not all scooters have the luxurious ground clearance of the Ruckus.



In the background you can see a little old lady on one of those mobility scooters. Cute, I thought--we'd have our two scoots in the foreground, and and the Hoveround in the background. Neato.

She stayed there for a while staring straight down. I mean, a long time. Enough time for us to get some produce. We came back, and she was still motionless.



WTF? She's not moving. Should I go over and check for a pulse?

I heard a faint whirring. It was either the 300w motor or her pacemaker. Wasn't sure.

Let's zoom in a bit, shall we?



She's high-centered the Hoveround.





Oh, okay, so it's not nice to snicker.

About the time I went over to shove her over the speedbump, one of her relatives showed up in a Chevy truck and pushed her off the speed bump, so she made it home and probably called JC Whitney to order a new bash plate and the upgraded 450watt motor.

Jeebus, how did I miss this post the first time around?
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Old 08-28-2005, 05:37 PM   #83
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Trio

Quote:
Originally Posted by Photog
Not all scooters have the luxurious ground clearance of the Ruckus.


what a trio, Skewt, Photog and Depends..............what is the name of your newly formed scooter club???
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Old 08-28-2005, 05:39 PM   #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Photog
...one of her relatives showed up in a Chevy truck and pushed her off the speed bump...
Just drove up and gave her a gentle tap with the 'ol bumper, huh? What was he doing...about 30 MPH?



Inheritance City, here we come!

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Old 08-28-2005, 05:51 PM   #85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roadstarminge
what a trio, Skewt, Photog and Depends..............what is the name of your newly formed scooter club???
The Incontinents SC
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Old 08-28-2005, 06:14 PM   #86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Photog
The Incontinents SC
I like it, it has a dual meaning, you could make a scooter patch for your club out of an absorbent material, colorful yet functional



http://www.scooterpatcharchive.com/archive/index.htm
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Old 08-28-2005, 06:33 PM   #87
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Raleigh on $1 gas a day

Sorry for the hijack Ilmostro--excellent thread--but there's no SCOOTER FORUM and I already opened the door with the Granny Scooter tale.

Raleigh on $1 worth of gas a day

The day started out with a nice cross-town trek to a good IHOP breakfast.



Then we motored over to the State Fairground Flea Market, to join 3 billion other people in search of really cheap junk. First stop was the joint that sells leather jackets to the HD people. The lady there is really nice and if you snoop around you’ll find some nice stuff. But what really caught our eye were the patches available. GREAT! We’ll find something just right for the ADV scooter gang.



Oooo! This one is neato!



Wow! Such detail. I’m sure it took some Chinese 10 year old about 23 seconds to create this.

This is what happens when you run a bit too lean.



This one is setting up a Buddy Tow.



Not seeing the proper colors for our gang, we left to look around.

I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.




Since the HOA is being such asshats, we've been house shopping. This one is within our price range.



I've had apartments smaller than that.

Over here you can let this middle-aged man draw a picture of your child for free.



Anyone see any potential problems here?



We were having such a rollicking good time at this point looking at surplus Army clothing and overpriced Hummel knock-offs, that we almost didn’t hear the FWUMP of an elderly woman doing an endo onto the pavement. I helped drag her to her feet, and Skewt pulled a chair out from under a vendor (who didn’t want to offer the old lady the chair). The woman had apparently tripped over a dropcord stretched across an aisle. Why, O, why, hadn’t I pursued a career in litigation? I could OWN this flea market! Every last knick-knack! The poor woman had a good goose egg over one eye, her eyeglass frames had sliced open her cheek, and she had grown a 6th and 7th knuckle on one hand. After stitching up her wounds with the suture kit included in the Stella tool kit while asking her the square root of 7.34—dammit, why is it that I always get the altered patients?--I determined that she was my best shot at either being included in her lawsuit or her will, so we got security to check her out, which made them happy because they got to use the siren on the golf cart. Hell, no, I didn’t take pics. She was a mean little cuss. Maybe Stella needs to drop down a size on those needles.

Then again, maybe that wasn’t a suture kit.

Giddy from our experience with the bleeding old woman, we headed over to the Farmer’s Market, where I got a beer.



Hey, honey.



You sweet thing, you.



Here’s the high-centered Hoveround. You know this part already. I honestly thought the relative in the Chevy was going to try PUSHING her off the curb. “Just steer it, momma”



Then we found this gourd.



Fixed:



Hmm. That must be the PUI Gourd. So after watching granny get towed off the speedbump, we rode some more.



We went house shopping. This one was only slightly more than the one we found at the flea market.



We liked it a lot, so we jimmied the door and tried some of the beer in the fridge. We might make an offer. We did another lap around the lake…



..and went home.

THE END.
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Old 08-28-2005, 06:38 PM   #88
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Over here you can let this middle-aged man draw a picture of your child for free.



Anyone see any potential problems here?


Uh-oh. That doesn't look right.
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Old 08-28-2005, 06:40 PM   #89
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1-800-AMBER ALERT.




before anyone goes postal, he had just finished sketching the girl's mom.

Trust me, I was about to beat him over the head with the Pervert Bludgeon that's included in the Stella toolkit (right next to the Suture Kit) when I finally spotted the mom hanging around nearby.

Whew.

Thought we had us a gen-u-ine PRE-vert.
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Old 08-28-2005, 06:42 PM   #90
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Originally Posted by Photog
1-800-AMBER ALERT.




before anyone goes postal, he had just finished sketching the girl's mom.

Trust me, I was about to beat him over the head with the Pervert Bludgeon that's included in the Stella toolkit (right next to the Suture Kit) when I finally spotted the mom hanging around nearby.

Whew.

Thought we had us a gen-u-ine PRE-vert.
Whew. Me too. Glad the explanation makes sense.
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