Boob & Natureboy Fat Adam Sherpale' Big Bend

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Day Trippin'' started by ki_ote, Oct 29, 2017.

  1. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    We're in the park and right away Boob remembers the rough road ahead.

    Boob: Watch out for the rough road ahead.
    NBFA: What rough road ahead?
    Boob: Where that ole boy was jammin' down our throat last time with that great big 5th wheel and hit the rough road ahead and that camper went to bouncin' everywhere and flying off the ground and sparks was coming out and we could see his old lady in there screaming at him.
    NBFA: Oh yeah.
    Boob&NBFA: (Busts out laughing)
    Boob: That sh!t was funny.

    Once your in the park it's still like another 40 or 60 or 50 miles to the rv camp. Finally at the last 20 miles you break over the hill and see Mexico and Trumps Wall on the South end of the park. He's pretty proud of it and likes to show it off, so he has it all tremendously and fabulously lit up. And it looks tremendous and fabulous and it's a huge success and everyone loves it tremendously.
    [​IMG]



    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #41
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  2. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    So now we're on the way down and Boob see a hill he wants to Sherpale. Dang it, hurry up Boob.

    [​IMG]

    Ok, he's got THAT out of his system. Now it's almost dark and we roll in to camp riding dirty.
    Holy crap! It's full! We go creeping in and it's packed and everybody is looking at these two idiots with two mopeds and one crappy camper just sitting there shining their lights on everyone. What now? Why let's get out and start walking around and see if we can fit in anywhere.
    So we start walking through everyone's camp. Hey, how ya doin? How are you? What's going on? Hi, name's Boob nice to meet you. Hello...Hi...Hey, here's a spot!

    So now we make a big scene backing in and finally get set.
    NBFA: What's this piece of paper tacked on the utility pole? "Swillings"? My name ain't "Swillings". Damn!
    Boob: Hey, here it is down here. We passed it when we first pulled in.
    NBFA: Good gawd.

    So now we make another big scene, pull out all creakin' and poppin' everywhere and go back all the way around, make another big scene backing in to our actual spot because there's no freakin room to maneuver. But we finish, put our crap inside, east a bite. Then we walk outside, it's pitch dark behind us and something stinks.
    NBFA: Boob, I smell Javelina. You smell that?
    Boob: Na. Let me get my light.
    [​IMG]
    Hey, it's our old buddy! ~phew~
    Anyway, lights out. Let's hurry up and wake up.

    Well, that was a great 2 hours of sleep. It got so freakin cold and we found out both propane tanks were empty. Gawd, I wish I had hair sometimes.
    [​IMG]

    Alright it's 8a.m. LET'S GET IT ON!

    [​IMG]

    Annnndddd.. Boob's bike won't start. Crap!
    Then the battery goes flat. Now it's flooded. Everyone's looking at the two idiots in ATGATT (who came up with that bullshiznit anyway?) pushing this moped back and forth thru the parking lot sweating their @sses off.
    Then all the old men come over.
    ATOM: What's wrong? Won't start, huh? Is the battery dead? It smells flooded. Can you jump start one of those? Any gas in the tank? Blah, blah, blah
    [​IMG]
    NBFA: ( trying to concentrate, here)

    Alright, it's 10a.m. Shiiiiiiitttttt!!!!!

    Boob: F~ck it. I'm outta here.

    [​IMG]


    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #42
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  3. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    NBFA: Wait Boob! I got it started.

    Heck yeah! It's 10:30 and we're rolling. When you come out of camp you head back uphill thru the tunnel. It's mandatory that you honk your horn as irratic as possible all the way thru.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Just a little further and you come to....you guessed it!
    [​IMG]
    Dang! Boob is pissed! This sh!t just got real.
    [​IMG]

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #43
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  4. BigDogAdventures

    BigDogAdventures Fart Letter

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    I better get down there before you guys get in real trouble.
    dumb and dummer.jpg
    #44
  5. carbclown

    carbclown That shit looks deep

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    I'm sure I'm not in the minority when I say I don't preciate y'all makin fun and laughs and such at our boys in uniform, I.e. Ranger Rick. That man was prolly my cousin or some such. Prolly just tryin to enjoy his mcrib ( only available for a limited time ) when you two show up. Oh the shame....THE SHAME. Thank God we live in a country that pays folk no matter how ignorant they are. Amen
    #45
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  6. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    A park employee, not a law officer. Matter of fact the best part of the trip involved a law officer which we whole-heartedly support, btw.
    But edited, just the same. I'm not here to offend anyone.

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #46
  7. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    Lol. Too late for that, but come on down. Let's ride!

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #47
  8. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    Boob getting psyched up with a dip of snuff. You're looking South at the South end of Old Ore.
    [​IMG]
    Holy crap! Boob's getting attacked by a rock squirrel right off the bat.
    I'm outta here!!!
    [​IMG]
    Y'all should see this. Good gawd...go Boob...you can take it.
    [​IMG]

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #48
  9. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    Man it's getting ugly.
    C'mon Boob...get up, get up, you can do it.
    [​IMG]

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #49
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  10. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    Finally! Boob's got it in the Figure Four Grapevine. He's looking over here..wait what..live or die?
    [​IMG]
    I can't make up my mind. Let's ride!

    Big country!
    [​IMG]

    Here we pay our respects.
    It's tough out here. People still leave money and other items at the grave site and it appears to be untouched for quite awhile, even though this can be a desperate place.
    [​IMG]

    Alright, off to the Ernst Tinaja once again. The first time we got caught off guard and wasted a lot of valuable energy hiking in the heat. This time we're gonna prepare ourselves first.
    [​IMG]


    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #50
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  11. kojack06

    kojack06 Been here awhile

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    There's a man with a decent haircut!
    #51
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  12. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    It felt really good to be back in BBNP, good to be on the bikes just tooling along in the vast expanse enjoying the scenery. It's tough for us to put a trip together with all the responsibilities at home, so it's a special feeling to get out in nature and explore at our own free will.
    These two dudes took us all over the park, through everything, took a major beating and just wagged their tails like a faithful old dog.
    These Sherpas are pretty much like a mountain goat only they eat less.

    L to R: The Nerpa & The Burpa
    [​IMG]
    They've changed some stuff up since last time and added rock cots to rest on. Nice!
    [​IMG]

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #52
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  13. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    [​IMG]
    Ok, let's check out the Tinaja. Last time it was quite a hike, but well worth it. These things are an anomaly of sorts and the geology through the draw is absolutely amazing. The pinnacle, of course, is a large limestone hole that comes out in China.

    Texas toothpicks.
    [​IMG]

    This is where we need to go. Boob is saying the canyon is 3ft wide.
    [​IMG]

    What? Speak up Boob...Oh, you're being attacked again. Hahaha, you crack me up.
    [​IMG]

    Five miles in and he's been attacked twice already. Hahaha, what a nut. Just pee on it, Boob, that will sterilize the bite. Gawd, no need to get panic. There's a hospital 200 miles away.[​IMG]

    You're alright, just follow me. (Man, what a baby!)

    [​IMG]

    D@mn!!! Ahhh..that's what I get for making fun of Boob. Freakin karma. Dagumm, that hurts. I know Boob...I'm pushing it back in...yeah, yeah, see the water hole, blah blah blah. Geez.
    [​IMG]




    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #53
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  14. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    The black water tank on our camper is stopped up. Now I know why. And he's smilin' to boot. You can't take this guy anywhere.
    [​IMG]

    Well, the joke's on you Boob.
    Haha, Boob got attacked again.
    [​IMG]

    Anyway, while he sterilizes himself again, here's a close up of some awesome geological sediment layers that take like 40 or 60 or 50 years to form.
    [​IMG]

    Boob has had a lot of trouble, poor fella. All he wants to do is see the Tinaja. Come on, Boob. Here it is up here. Uh oh!!!
    [​IMG]

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #54
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  15. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    Hey, uh, Boob...uh take your time buddy. Man, think Nature Boy think.
    [​IMG]

    Ah, I got it. Hurry hurry...
    [​IMG]

    Aaand that should do it.
    [​IMG]

    Here comes Boob and he looks exhausted and overheated. Check it out Boob. Pretty cool Tinaja, huh? Hey, I wouldn't do that. Haha, Boob is funny. Look at all those bubbles.
    [​IMG]

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #55
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  16. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    Hey wait! Here it is over here.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #56
  17. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    Boob? Booooob?? Quit screwing around, Boob! Dang!
    [​IMG]

    Man that sucks! See ya later, Boob.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Boob?
    [​IMG]

    Alright!!! Boob, old buddy, I thought you were dead?
    How you do dat?
    [​IMG]

    Let's ride!

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #57
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  18. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    Back on the Old Ore. Boob's refreshed and hauling some butt cheeks.
    [​IMG]

    I'm still a little upset cause I thought Boob was dead. I am not CRYing. Nature Boy Fat Adam don't cry. I got some DIRT in my eyes. ~ sniffle sniffle~
    [​IMG]

    Just let it out Nayfat (Nayfat is my hip hop name). Thaaaat's better.
    [​IMG]

    It's lunchtime and Boob's getting hungry. He's gone trappin' for 'possum. Hmmm, possum.[​IMG]

    Man, I can't wait any longer.
    Yeah, Dominos...
    [​IMG]

    It's beautiful out, today. Got our bellies full. As Boob says, let's roll this thing over and spank it's bottom.
    [​IMG]

    Wait a sec...Boob gotta get a dip of snuff.
    [​IMG]

    Here we go, dispatcher.
    [​IMG]

    Hey check this out!?!
    [​IMG]

    When the State bought the land for the park they blew the roofs off of most the existing habitations, and, filled in most of the wells in an effort to stop illegals from crossing through a tourist area.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Alrighty, let's finish this sucker up. It has definitely been maintained since last time. That, coupled with The Nerpa & The Burpa made it a breeze.
    The North end of the road is basically flat two track with light sand and gravel. Oh yeah, this is the spot we saw a bunch of riders hauling buns the other way. So watch that if y'all are at this exact spot.
    [​IMG]

    Time to hammer down. We were running along in 5th gear at a pretty good clip when all the sudden Nayfat is in some serious trouble. I mean f'n serious.

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #58
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  19. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    Oh sweet Jesus! I did it now.[​IMG]
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .



    I forgot to call my wife!
    [​IMG]

    Oh yeah, that's our new buddy Mr. Mike. He's worked Border Patrol in and around the area for the last 7 years. We learned more about the Park and border patrollin' in an hour than most peoples will ever know. We'd like to share that part, but then we'd have to kill you. Which, by the way, is same thing he told us... only he wasn't laughing.

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #59
  20. ki_ote

    ki_ote Cindi Jo Admirer

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    Mr. Mike was a great fella. We were all cuttin' up and gettin' along great when I saw a young Mexican woman drive by in a shiny new compact SUV.
    NBFA: Hey, now that looks suspicious! What's a clean, fancy dressed gal in a new vehicle doin' drivin' around out in the middle of nothin' and on these crappy roads?
    MM: Exactly! Now you know why I'm sitting here.
    NBFA: (proudly exclaims) Hey Boob, you see that? You see what I just did there? That's some natural border patrollin', right there, by gawd.
    Boob: Yeah yeah (big yawn) your a real genius.
    MM: That's pretty good. Let's trade jobs...immediately.
    Boob: Hey Mr.Mike, can I get a picture with you, Sir?
    MM: Sure.
    Boob: And dummy over here, too?
    MM: I guess.
    [​IMG]

    ---WITGDHIGOH---
    #60
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