California to Sturgis with rock & roll

Discussion in 'Epic Rides' started by Kevin Moore, Jul 17, 2012.

  1. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Oddometer:
    65
    Location:
    Berkeley, Ca
    What follows is an account of a motorcycle trip from coastal California to Sturgis for the annual rally. It was done with friends from LA who range from rock musicians with the likes of Guns n' Roses to TV show hosts to unabashed vagrants.

    If you like the story, more can be found at: http://www.bikesandbuddies.com

    Bikes and Buddies tells true stories of motorcycles, friends, family and the open road, covering such important topics as: setting a motorcycle on fire, almost hitting a turkey that craps on the rider, meeting a Bronx Jew in the middle of nowhere America, and destroying a mini bike with the band members of Green Day. They are funny and insightful stories about the people and culture surrounding two-wheeled travel.

    There is a video of the trip below at:
    http://www.bikesandbuddies.com/fun
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bikes-and-Buddies/370032839707633


    Chapter I: Solo

    Thursday, August 5th my journey begins to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. 800 miles of unaccompanied riding lay ahead of me before I meet my friends in Fillmore, Utah.

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    It began as all good motorcycle journeys should: saddle bags filled with tools and a single change of clothes; tent & sleeping bag, and a destination.

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    #1
  2. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

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    Yosemite: A picture says it all. It may seem odd to cut right to a picture of the Sierra mountains, but the simple truth is the Central Valley of California is mind-numbingly boring.

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    Route 120 is an unparalleled ride. A waterfall, which was luckily still going.

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    The upper view of Yosemite. For scale, notice the lady laying near one boulder and the guy standing on the other.

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    #2
  3. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

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    After what can only be described as grueling work, I decided to stop and enjoy a much-deserved, ice-cold adult beverage.

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    A ranger walked up and stood near me during this respite. Me being a loud mouth and she being cute, I began talking with her. She quickly pointed out an adolescent bear in the meadow just in before us. Fixated on my beer, I missed the bear.

    After watching the little guy for a bit and finishing my business, I proceeded to saddle up and start towards Lake Mono. On the bike and just around the bend, out pops that same damn bear right in front of me! I pulled over, chased it into the woods, and gave it a tongue lashing while taking the picture below.

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    It had a cute little furry butt.
    #3
  4. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

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    Berkeley, Ca
    Being an ill-prepared man, I neglected to book a campsite in the peak of summer. This resulted in stopping at multiple locations, finding them full, then cursing the fact that everywhere around was open land, but nowhere to pop a tent without Ranger Rick giving me flack.

    With the sun setting, I came across Jason and his very extended family, all 50+ of them, occupying an entire block of camping sites.

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    They offered me quarter, dinner, a competition-grade pellet gun to shoot at cans, and great company. Their family had been coming there since his great uncle’s time many decades back. They were the epitome of California and the reason so many of us migrate to the state: open arms.

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    I had a stellar spot right next to a creek, where the sound of water lulled me to sleep.

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    The break of sun and a promise of many miles to meet the guys woke me early. I left before anyone was up, pushing my bike out of earshot.

    I did, however, leave a note.

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    #4
  5. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

    Joined:
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    Berkeley, Ca
    Lake Mono: Salt pillars and sea gulls in the middle of a desert. There was a French couple eating cereal while smoking cigarettes. I greeted them in French and they seemed pleased by this.

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    Sometimes being taken advantage of can lead to good things. In the crappy little hamlet of Tonopah, Nevada I was told it was 186 miles to the next gas, quickly followed by &#8220;If your on a bike I can sell you straps and a can&#8221;. I bought one and put it on my bike, sure my bike would not make it without the backup.

    While filling up, a group of guys pulled into the station. They had come from LA, having made their way there through King's Canyon. One was named Beretta (far left below) and spoke with a thick New England accent. While chatting, I asked where his name came from and he nonchalantly replied, "an incident with the gun." I asked no more of the subject.

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    We banded together and rode to Ely. Along the way, I snapped their portrait while stopped to take advantage of shade from the only trees in Nevada.

    The distance ended up being 20 miles less than we were quoted, and even high a slight headwind we never even hit reserve. In Ely, the gas can was bequeathed to a local fellow missing a tooth who was elated by his acquisition.

    I wonder how many motorcyclists that station sells gas cans to&#8230;
    #5
  6. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Oddometer:
    65
    Location:
    Berkeley, Ca
    Chapter II: Meeting the fruit-loops and getting there


    The beginning of the third day meant meeting to form our coterie. We agreed to rendezvous in Fillmore, Utah, where I saw this crazy house made of lava rock, and passed time with this lovely couple from San Diego.

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    As it turns out, Fillmore has two exits on interstate 15 and I was at "the other one." But this was soon remedied and we started on our way to Sturgis.

    However, before any events can be recounted with clarity and meaning, one should always exhibit manners and give proper introductions&#8230;


    THE CREW

    Riki "Riki-Bobby" Rachtman: Self-proclaimed trailer-trash, who for reasons I don&#8217;t yet understand has a strong affinity for riding just behind other men. Don&#8217;t let the tattoo sleeves fool you, he is a whiney little man who from time to time needs a bitch slap.

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    Gilby Clarke: Enjoys painting the façade of a big-time rock musician when in reality he is a tenured professor at a small liberal arts college, specializing in American Frontier History. This is the most recent known picture.

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    EJ Curcio: Loves animals, has a curious magnetic quality to women, and is a son-of-a-bitch for looking as good as he does at age 71.

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    JD King: In transit to Sturgis, a wormhole opened in front of us, ejecting this man from the year 1974. After brief confusion, he assimilated to our group and joined our mission from God.

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    Dean Clarke: Gilby's brother. A simple man who has the curious trait of needing to eat every 37 minutes or he passes out, falls down, and pisses his pants. And yes, that is ice cream in his beard.

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    Stew Herrera: For the better part of the trip I thought this guy was Ray Mysterio. He enjoys waxing on about his exotic origins from the Canary Islands, but as it turns out he's a simple, run-of-the-mill Mexican.

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    Grant Reynolds: A man comfortable enough with himself to wear a kerchief around his neck the entire trip, including when he went into a bar filled with a gang. And it just so happened, the color was not theirs.

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    Todd Whitaker: The white version of Billy Blanks. This man scares me.

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    Eric Brewton: Georgia hick who now lives in LA and occasionally lets slip his opinion of how perty your mouth is.

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    Paul Gold: Music producer extraordinaire. This picture says it all. Lightning. Python-sized biceps. Rockin&#8217; long blonde hair. Shiny bikes with razor-sharp accoutrement that cut you if touched are key. Beware of &#8220;THE IMPAULOR&#8221;.

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    Kevin Moore: A strikingly handsome fellow, whose charms know no measure. Intelligent, rides motorcycles like a real man, and sports a subtle humility. Only known fault is the occasional fits of &#8220;nipple rage."

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  7. Sniper X

    Sniper X De Oppresso Liber

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2006
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    Location:
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    Looks like you accrued a Zoo Crew there for sure! Looking forward to the Cross Country Mayhem. :rofl
    #7
  8. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Oddometer:
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    Location:
    Berkeley, Ca
    Bridal Falls in Utah. For scale, look at the wee people at the bottom.

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    A line of mighty fine bikes. Note Grant is still wearing his blue kerchief. Very manly.

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    That night we stopped in Park City, Utah, a ski town in the spine of the Rockies. After parking our bikes and getting gussied up, we rented a party van to go pub hopping. First, following the suggestion of a waitress at dinner, we went to the local bowling alley. How anyone thought this was a good idea was beyond me, and with our arrival the occupancy of the place doubled. After a few arcade games, we moved onto a basement sports bar where an inebriated hooligan tried to walk off with our camera after we asked him to take a picture of us. Our final stop was a small bar on the main street in town. There we met a gaggle of girls who while falling off bar stools told us they "had left their kids at home with grandma." All in all, it was a fascinating night.

    The beginning:

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    The aftermath:

    JD hammered the night before.

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    Myself the next morning, hung over beyond natural measures.

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    Back on the road, we were soon pulled over by the Wyoming po-po for speeding and lack of turn signals. Grant with his military capabilities and myself with general ass-kissing prowess used tact to speak with the officers.

    They decide to let us go with warnings.

    After this, Gilby professed his hatred of police and continued to argue. Then, Riki ran his mouth to the cops about how they were wrong. That is until I threatened to punch him. One cop cracked a smile.

    Eric, still confused that we were off the hook, blew one of the cops to avoid a ticket.

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    We soon got off highway 80 and made our way north to smaller roads and open sky.

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    Our next stop was Independence Rock, a massive outcropping of stone that was the gateway to the west for pioneers and gold diggers.

    Professor Clarke sat us down and gave a history lesson.

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    #8
  9. bobw

    bobw Harden the phuck up

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2006
    Oddometer:
    944
    Location:
    God's country, Western North Carolina
    :rofl:rofl

    Great road trip! :freaky
    #9
  10. Tooth

    Tooth State of Jefferson

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2010
    Oddometer:
    97
    Location:
    Southern Oregon,,,,State of Jefferson
    THis could be one of the best casts ever assembled on ADV RIDER for an routine road trip.....this forum needed some classy dudes for a change.....wheres the booze and women? :1drink
    #10
  11. NuckaMan

    NuckaMan Space Available

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2008
    Oddometer:
    354
    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    Sweet krew.

    Safe travels and look forward to more pics. Need pics of hookers and beer.

    Also, tell your boy Riki I was a fan when he used to rock Loveline, kept me entertained in the mid-90s at work, and Adam Curry was better at Headbangers ball.:lol3
    #11
  12. Ginger Beard

    Ginger Beard I have no soul

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2008
    Oddometer:
    7,024
    Location:
    Sunny Northern Cuba (aka: South Florida)
    Fuckin' A man!!! A bunch of dudes from the Rock n' Roll industry heading to Sturgis ? Now THIS is going to be epic! :freaky

    Where did the puddle of coolant come from? Someone have a Honda parked there before you guys pulled in ? :wink:








    .
    #12
  13. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Oddometer:
    65
    Location:
    Berkeley, Ca
    Chapter III: Sturgis - loud bikes, hairy dudes, and leather

    We arrive at our hotel in Spearfish, which was outstanding. Our stay was hosted by the most lovely Eva, who for the handful of days each year treat us like her own family.

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    Moments after arriving, Gilby got a hair up his ass that we needed to go straight to the Legends Ride in Deadwood.

    We did. And we rode.

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    Following the Legends Ride we found our way to the Rock and Rev where another GnR alum &#8211; Matt Sorum &#8211; met us. Then we hung out in comfy lawn chairs and watched the bands play.

    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/19/97341578.jpg/'><img src='http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/1915/97341578.jpg' border='0'/></a><br>Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us</a>

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    Godsmack:

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    The next day we took our obligatory trip to Downtown Sturgis. It was precisely what you&#8217;d assume it to be.

    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/812/39635943.jpg/'><img src='http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/3492/39635943.jpg' border='0'/></a><br>Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us</a>

    While at the Broken Spoke Saloon, some guys with an over abundance of testosterone put their brawn on exhibit by trying to smash a high striker. We discussed how it&#8217;s not muscle, but speed that matters. Up jumps JD and damned if that skinny bastard didn&#8217;t get the job done. While I did not technically hear the bell, he was close enough to forever reach &#8220;dude&#8221; status in my book.

    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/826/191fk.jpg/'><img src='http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/3580/191fk.jpg' border='0'/></a><br>Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us</a>

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    That evening we decided to &#8220;take it easy,&#8221; which translated into not leaving the hotel to do our drinking. Jägermeister, check. Yukon, check. Beer, check. Poker, soon to follow.

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    This picture of Gilby is just too damn funny.

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    While trying to take a picture of everyone at the table, Grant hit me in the nuts. He then proceeded to use my own phone to snap this picture. Nice guy.

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    #13
  14. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Oddometer:
    65
    Location:
    Berkeley, Ca
    The following day we all saddled up and headed to Deadwood, an old west town known for Wild Bill Hickok, Calamity Jane, and an HBO television show.

    Here it is now.

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    And as it was in 1888.

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    Deadwood has everything one would expect of an &#8220;old west&#8221; town: Cobble stone streets, gambling venues, bars, and...OLD TIMEY PICTURES!

    We all piled into a big wardrobe closet and commenced getting dressed up in our favorite costumes.

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    Gilby was a Mexican. To this day, I use this picture on my cell phone so each time he calls me I giggle.

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    And here, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the final product:

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    This picture provokes several thoughts, conclusions, and questions:
    1 - Gilby makes an excellent Mexican (A topic already covered).
    2 - What the hell is Riki doing near my mouth?
    3 - Paul is attempting to shot off Grant&#8217;s nuts, which is just weird.
    4 - Dean&#8217;s slap-happy look give us a window into his inner workings.
    5 - Once again Todd frightens me, this time with a clearly sadistic smile.

    For reasons not divulged here, I dressed as a women. And in doing so, all the other guys suddenly knew just how hot I was. They didn't need to speak. Their eyes said it all.
    #14
  15. aviatorbdm

    aviatorbdm Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Oddometer:
    108
    Location:
    Oregon
    Classic... hilarious...
    #15
  16. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Oddometer:
    65
    Location:
    Berkeley, Ca
    Crazy Horse. Projected completion date: 2450.

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    Eric, JD, Riki, and Grant decided to take the helicopter tour of the Black Hills, Crazy Horse, and Mount Rushmore (Of course it had to be a “Harley” copter).

    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/189/58124653.jpg/'><img src='http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/2107/58124653.jpg' border='0'/></a><br>Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us</a>

    Being a man of great means, I simply called in my jet and went straight to 30,000 feet, crushing their measly 1000-foot view.

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    The needles of Black Hills National Park. A breathtaking ride complete with rock-cut tunnels and wood bridges.

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    Mount Rushmore. We spent more time talking and eating ice cream than staring at the rock heads.

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    #16
  17. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Oddometer:
    65
    Location:
    Berkeley, Ca
    Chapter IV: Heading home

    In the bustling metropolis of Lusk, we came across the Stagecoach museum, run by a Bronx Jew who &#8220;Ran out of money and found the cheapest place in Wyoming.&#8221; We are certain he is the only Jewish person in the state. He told us &#8211; repeatedly &#8211; he could &#8220;fill us in on who&#8217;s screwing who in town.&#8221;

    Simply put, this guy tickled my fancy.

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    The fellow took a picture of us before we left.

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    Grant is a thief, and once again proves his gayness in the group photo where he is checking me out.

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    JD knocked out some old-time bar tunes on the piano as we were leaving. Had he known what was coming next, his tune would have been much more somber&#8230;

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    #17
  18. red bud

    red bud alky w/motorcycle problem

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2007
    Oddometer:
    6,405
    Location:
    jaw ja
    yelp, ya got my attention, keep it coming
    #18
  19. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Oddometer:
    65
    Location:
    Berkeley, Ca
    As a side note, we will be posting our trip to Sturgis live this year through Twitter. Riki Rachtman is @RikiRachtman ; Taimi Downe is @fasttaime ; and I am @brown_bike

    They are starting in Mexico, picking me up in San Francisco, then we are going north to Canada. From there we head southeast to Sturgis, meeting Gilby and the others along the way.
    #19
  20. Kevin Moore

    Kevin Moore Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Oddometer:
    65
    Location:
    Berkeley, Ca
    JD’s bike takes a crap!

    However, because of this we ended up at the Hladky family ranch 10 mile south of Lusk with our “Country Friends” Brock, Lance, and Zane. They let us use their phone, get something cold to drink, and not feel like we were stranded in the middle of nowhere.

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    Within minutes of arriving and three seconds of Brock’s offer to ride, Dean mounted a horse that completely ignored all his commands.

    Having nothing to do but wait - and being on a working ranch - we offered our services and were quickly put to task unloading and removing saddles from the horses.

    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/534/313fn.jpg/'><img src='http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/1562/313fn.jpg' border='0'/></a><br>Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us</a>

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    Riki near horses made me giggle.

    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/824/315jd.jpg/'><img src='http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/7159/315jd.jpg' border='0'/></a><br>Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us</a>

    Zane’ 4H prize pigs he raised from piglets. Gilby thought the black one looked like his French Bulldog Chopper.

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    As the other guys went ahead to Cheyenne to find a place to get the bike fixed, JD and I stayed behind to wait for the tow truck. And rather than do nothing, we headed out to salt the cattle with Lance. I never knew this, but cattle really like to eat salt.

    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/837/319wp.jpg/'><img src='http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/5044/319wp.jpg' border='0'/></a><br>Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us</a>

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    JD’s bike got towed to Cheyenne, but never made it past there due to a defective cam bearing. They did not have the part in stock and could not have it in for several days, so JD flew home. The service center folks were terrific, staying late to work on his sportster.

    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/814/81870666.jpg/'><img src='http://img814.imageshack.us/img814/1960/81870666.jpg' border='0'/></a><br>Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us</a>

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    We hung out,then ate what may have been the worst Mexican food I have ever consumed. That night I spent quality time in the Holiday Inn bathroom.

    It was our last night together before we parted ways.
    #20