'Cause I like to party........

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by SpeedoJosh, Jan 5, 2012.

  1. SpeedoJosh

    SpeedoJosh Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    841
    Location:
    Florida Panhandle
    ……Or, at least that’s what we told everyone when they asked why we were riding dirt bikes down the highway to Key West, or riding 6fiddys on single track, or downing tequila like cherry coke. :freaky




    Meet Jake (Papajijo)
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    Meet Me (SpeedoJosh)
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    And our pimp ass rides…
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    This is our mini adventure back to our homeland of Florida for Christmas and New Years. To ride around the countryside of Florida and down to sunny Key West. To spend time with family, sing carols, and mainly to escape cold-ass NC.


    **Disclaimer**
    If you are AGATT or never were young and dumb, then you probably won’t enjoy this mini RR.

    Just giving this a head start, I’m kinda busy with work, so it will probably take a couple days to post all the info and pics. So sit back, grab a cold one, and enjoy. Plus….., Jake is a gay who went to art school, so he takes a lot of pics.
    #1
  2. Mullet

    Mullet Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2010
    Oddometer:
    77
    Location:
    South Louisiana
    Hell ya! In.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:eek:ffice" /><o:p></o:p>
    #2
  3. Utah Bones

    Utah Bones Gas X ready!

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2008
    Oddometer:
    1,607
    Location:
    Brain in Utah but homeless in Wisconsin....
    Roll.....:deal
    #3
  4. SpeedoJosh

    SpeedoJosh Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    841
    Location:
    Florida Panhandle
    A little backup before I proceed. Both Jthon and I are from Florida, but are currently working in NC. We had been tossing around the idea of a trip for the holidays. Requirements were somewhere warm, and a beach. With our limited time, we decided on Florida. Some weeks went by, nothing more said, then crunch time! Three days until our vacation starts, and no plans, no preparations, no routes, etc&#8230;.. We both just purchased our XR650Rs around August 2010. Jake has had one before, so I&#8217;m kinda just following his lead on this. We figured that since we aren&#8217;t 100% sure on the previous maintenance on the pigs, that we should go through them real quick and make sure they are up to par. So I set to work and made a check list.
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    We sit around on a Friday afternoon and lightly discuss the areas we want to ride. Due to the short time off we have, part of this trip is done in his truck. After a rough draft of the route, we decide to go out and party. Saturday morning comes, well more like Saturday afternoon, and we jump to it. First thing first, supplies. After about three hours of driving around to different shops, we have no plugs, no extra oil filters, no nothing. Just some oil and dehydration. Luckily we both had a spare filter in a box, so boom. Got oil change done on bikes.

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    Wait&#8230; what&#8217;s that you say Jake??
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    We didn&#8217;t drain the crankcase of oil. FML.
    So now we have to go track down more moto oil, which is like gold around here, re-drain the oil and re-fill. Now it&#8217;s dark, cold, and late. So all we achieved Saturday was an oil change.
    Sunday comes, and after another late start, we aren&#8217;t messing around. We change plugs, coolant, check air pressure, lube cables and chains, make tool kits, test mount bags, pack, yada yada yada. Jake&#8217;s bike is ready to roll. Mine, still needed some carb work done. Since I got this pig, the carb has been nothing but a nightmare for me, and I have it close to good, but not 100%. (As you will see later on). So Jthon rolls out since he has to go into work Monday morn, and leaves me working to the wee hours of the night.

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    (Gas on the ground, not oil)

    After a slight case of frostbite in the hands, I call it a night, and plan to tackle the rest tomorrow morning, while Jthon is at work. Plan is to leave at noon-ish. So, Monday morn and I set to work. Check adjustments, clean carb, try to get her all dialed in.
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    Well, got her running pretty good, and consistently. Time will only tell if the infamous high-idle comes back. I&#8217;m running low on fuel, so figured I&#8217;d get a head start and fill up for the trip. Cruise down the road to a gas station. Taking off from a stop light I hear a metal clank, like something dropped. I do a contorted quick look back while still watching traffic in front of me, see nothing and continue on. While filling up, a guy sees I&#8217;m not wearing gloves and starts talking to me religiously about AGATT. FML, I&#8217;m in a hurry, I need to go. Luckily a little old lady (no shit) comes up and asked him for some help. I see my escape, now all I have to do is kick the pig over and brapppp on out of there. Reach down and shit!!!!......
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    One more incase you didn&#8217;t catch that.

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    No kickstart lever!!!

    I push the bike away from the pump and start walking back towards the sight of the metal clank. On the way the AGATT nazi drives by, undoubtedly cheerful b/c he thinks that I saw the light, and am walking home to get gloves. He pulls over, and confirms that in what he says. Then goes on to pull out an Ipad and shows pictures of some dude who just wrecked his bike and was all jacked up, laying in a hospital bed. This dude was plastered, underage, no license, no helmet, and doing stunts on a street bike. Undoubtedly a hyabusa. WTF man, seriously! I continue walking to the light and yahtzee!!

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    Back in business. I return to the gas station, kick over the pig, and ride out like a badass with no gloves. Return home, get everything ready and wait for Jthon to arrive so we can load the pigs and head out Floridaway.

    Cue Jake. (notice his grandma jump suit)

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    Head em&#8217; up and move em&#8217; out
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    Florida here we come!!
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    #4
  5. SpeedoJosh

    SpeedoJosh Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    841
    Location:
    Florida Panhandle
    So here was our plan. Drive to Jacksonville. Party with my brother for the night. Leave Jacksonville Tuesday morn, and head towards Bushnell where my uncle lives. Stay the night there, and spend it talking motorcycles with him (Harley dude who does trips like Charlie Sheen does coke). Has like 50k miles on his Harley, and this is his second one. Anyway, roll out of Bushnell Wednesday morn on the XRs, and do three &#8211; four days around Central Florida, hitting up the state parks and riding trails. Return to Bushnell. Then head towards Fort Myers, FL. Spend time with fam for Christmas, and leave from there on the pigs for Key West. Return to Fort Myers on the 30th. Then head towards Orlando to spend New Years. Then back to NC on the 1st. Partying and raging out the whole time. That was the tentative plan. Didn&#8217;t quite turn out exactly like that.


    Plan started off good. Got to my bro&#8217;s house in Jacksonville. Started off with some brews, then headed to this place called Whiskey River. 50 wings and multiple beers later, we are back at his house, passing out. Yet another late morning. Wake up, go hit up the gym and get inspired by my brother who is drinking a vodka and coke not 5 minutes after waking up. He also is on vacation, and is showing us how it is done. With our late start on Tuesday (see a pattern yet?) we head out to ihop, rock out some omelets and are on our way to Bushnell. Before leaving we realize someone swiped Jake&#8217;s spare rear tire out of the back of the truck. That could be a problem b/c his rear was in some bad shape.

    Anyway, to Bushnell we go...
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    We arrive in Bushnell, unload the pigs, and do a last minute clean of the air filters while my uncle shows us around.
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    Jake is in awe of my uncle&#8217;s sweet garage. Where he has some really sweet toys. Including a CJ2a project that I&#8217;m extremely jealous of. We sit around, bs about motorcycles and he tells us of some of his trips. Snap the filter back on and load the bikes up.
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    My uncle&#8217;s hog next to the pigs
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    With the bikes loaded up, we decide to crash early to get our first early start.
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    Wednesday morning comes and we are hoping to go. Throw down a breakfast of ½ dozen eggs each, a banana, and multiple holiday cookies. Including some delicious peanut butter and chocolate dodads, and some rum things. Which the rum was added after the cookies were made. Making them quite strong and quite the wake up.

    Loaded up, and ready to go.
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    Here&#8217;s a picture of our planned route.
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    We were gonna ride to Leesburg and stop by the DMV to register Jakes XR. He&#8217;s been rocking my old one for the time being, until we made it to FL so he could change his over. Then from there hit up Ocala State Park for a second. We heard there was a lot of SOFT sand, and we wanted to avoid that. Then from there head towards Rainbow River and camp. Wake up, check out the clear water, go for a swim, then head towards Cedar Key. From there head towards Withlacoochie State Park, camping somewhere in between. Then hit up Croom in the am, and back to Bushnell.

    Here&#8217;s our actual route due to difficulties that will come later in the RR.
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    So we left Bushnell on good spirits, and started towards Leesburg.
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    Jake&#8217;s artistic tree and cloud pics. 4 years of art school for ya
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    Arrive to Leesburg with only one sna-fu. My kickstater would not stay on, so it go looped in with the GL webbing.
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    Gonna be hard to loose that key.

    Here&#8217;s Jake finally legal
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    Now, off to Ocala for some trails&#8230;..
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    We get to Ocala and immediately to begin pick up on the big dirt roads and speed.
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    ( &#8216;Cause I like to party)


    We turn off on a trail and then SAND!!! Soft, miserable sand.
    This is nearing the end of the devil trail. Shortly after this pic, I biff&#8217;d it pretty hard. Flew over the bars and all. Was kinda funny.

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    We did have more pics of the sand, but can&#8217;t seem to find them. Anyway, after the crash, my bike wasn&#8217;t acting the best. Would just die on me, shudder, all that fun stuff. So we took a break. It was hot&#8230;

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    Me changing shirts b/c I was sweating my balls off.
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    Jake hacking up sand b/c he&#8217;s a baby back biiitch!
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    We cool off and start riding, hoping my bike would just fix itself. No such luck, and even better luck, we were lost in this maze of powder sand trails. We rode around in circles and loops for awhile, periodically stopping b/c my bike was dying. Finally we found a main trail.
    And we&#8217;re off!!!
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    And now we&#8217;re stopped,&#8230; again.
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    Bike just didn&#8217;t want to run. So Jake sat and waited, while I fritzed with the pig to get her running.
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    We finally make it out and to a gas station b/c we were running low on fuel.
    After a bag of Rap Snacks&#8230;
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    that were on Special 99c, I was pumped, and ready to go. But, the bike wasn&#8217;t We sat there and contemplated what the problem might be. Our first thought was the carb again, but that didn&#8217;t describe the cutting out randomly. So then went electrical. Maybe plug was bad or had fouled. Realizing we left the spark plug socket in NC, we were on a mission to find one in the middle of no-stores Central Florida. What&#8217;s that, a sign for the local tractor and lawnmower guy, YES!!!!

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    NOO!!!!! He wasn&#8217;t home.

    So onward we pushed until we found a dirt bike shop. He had a spark plug socket, but the bike was too hot to touch the engine at the time. So we checked the fuel. Had some dirt and water in it, and his conclusion was that is what was causing it to do that. So, next stop was an auto parts store for a fuel filter. Cue NAPA. No motorcycle filters, only car ones, but I was determined to get it to fit.

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    Well, it didn&#8217;t. So we start riding towards town, with about 5 stops due to the bike cutting out or sputtering. Then one long stop b/c I realize my kill switch assembly rattled loose from the mount on the trail tech light, and was hanging off. So instead of letting it hang, I rigged it up to the bracket, ghetto style.

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    About now, we are around Belleview, it&#8217;s getting dark and we are far from camp. Our no riding at night plan is shot the first day. We bust out the Iphones and start looking for a motorcycle shop that has fuel filters. Boom, CycleWerks of Ocala, not far from our location. We start speeding there b/c we have like 5 minutes before they close. My bike dies of course, Jake continues on in hopes of catching them. He gets there and I show up about 5 minutes after, pushing my bike, b/c it died in the intersection doing a U-turn in front of the shop. FML&#8230;
    The nice people stayed open for us and had this&#8230;..

    YAHTZEE!!!
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    With the new filter on, I&#8217;m feeling like a pimp, nay, indestructible, nay again, an indestructible pimp! Until 10 miles down road when my bike died. I stopped kicked it over, literally, to the ground, and shouted obscenities at it for destroying my pimp swagger. I pick it back up and we plan out the rest of the night. Food was number one b/c the Rap Snacks were wearing away, then sleep. We rode back to Belleville and choose some fine dining at an Chinese restaurant.
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    I left starving b/c the scrubs didn&#8217;t even have a buffet. But luckily there was an AWESOME diner connected three doors down in this mini shopping center. I ordered 10 wings and a beer while I waited. Jthon joined me on the beer, and we planned out sleep. We were gonna ride to Ross Prairie State Forest and camp in there. Finished the wings and brew and rode out.

    We planned to just ride to the corner of the park on the street, then hop over in the park on a trail and camp a few hundred feet inside. No bueno, b/c the park was fenced all the way around, so no way in where we hit. We were exhausted and tired, so we turned down into the roads on the East side, pulled into an undevloped cul-de-sac with a slight depression, rode into the woods a few feet and parked. Pulled out the sleeping bags and called it a night.

    Pic of the cul-de-sac during daylight.
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    #5
  6. SpeedoJosh

    SpeedoJosh Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    841
    Location:
    Florida Panhandle
    22 Dec. Thursaday Morning
    We wake up, later then wanted, and start packing up. Both of us feeling recouped from yesterday&#8217;s shenanigans. But, anxious about what today is gonna hold for us. Feeling so good, I decided to get a little workout in, and talked Jthon into joining.

    So I change into my workout attire
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    Much better
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    And we get at it.

    Jake&#8217;s form was garbage, but I don&#8217;t tell him b/c he knows he has weaksauce running through his veins.
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    I beast through &#8220;Death by pushups&#8221;. Even though it was one of my worse scores.
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    After our mini CrossFit, we realized that the drained pond makes a sweet jump, and we hit it a couple times.
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    After a few jumps, we decide to leave to get some protein. (Gotta feed the muscles). So we head into Dunnellon for some grub. We get there around 1100, and find a nice looking, local place, with about 5-7 cars in the parking lot, so we pull in. Take of the boots, throw on the flops, and walk in for a long, relaxing breakfast. Or so we thought.

    Closed! WTF? What the hell are all those cars for?
    &#8220;We don&#8217;t open for another 45 mins.&#8221;
    &#8220;Ok, thank you&#8221;

    We didn&#8217;t feel like putting our boots back on, we wanted to wait, but it was hot outside. Then, we see what the cars were for. There is a bar, already open, attached to this restaurant. Nice looking place too. So problem solved. Drinks, then breakfast.

    Not wanting to look like alcoholics in this crowd of 7 at 11 am on a Thursday, we order white Russians, b/c of the coffee liquor.

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    We finish those, restaurant is still closed, so we order another drink, this time just a basic vodka and coke. (We decided after Jacksonville, no more beer. Just alcohol.)
    Enjoying our drinks we see something on tv about rich people, and remember we played the lotto, and that we could be rich people. We wipe out the tickets and iphones.

    Nope!! Duds
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    Now that our spirits were taken back a bit b/c we didn&#8217;t win the lotto, we went next door and ordered some grub. Jake got a massive sammich, and I chose for 20 wings. We decide to ride to Rainbow River to see the clear water like originally planned. I eat all but 5 of the wings, and pack them in the giant loop for later. We put our boots back on, and are ready to head out on our journey. BUT, the bike is not. Dang pig won&#8217;t even start, isn&#8217;t even trying actually. After about 15 mins of trying to kick her over, we realize something is definitely wrong, b/c the bike isn&#8217;t even trying to start now. WTF!!!

    We start thinking it through. It has to be something electrical. Jake still thinks it is the plug, so he hops on his pig and heads to the nearest auto store to get a spark plug socket, and leaves me to continue to trouble shoot. I&#8217;m just about to take the tank off, when I get to thinking. &#8220;You know, those kill switch wires could be rattling loose, causing the bike to shut off like that.&#8221; So I walk up there, and pull on them where they were connected in. Yahtzee!, the wire pulls right out of the connector. I phone Jake, and tell him to buy some connectors. He returns, I re-splice the kill switch wires, making a note to solder them when I get back.

    Bike all patched back up and fingers crossed.
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    Kick the pig over and whamO. Purring like a kitten. I flashback to all the time wasted and all the obscenities shouted yesterday and slightly chuckle. We helmet up, and cruise towards Rainbow Springs for a nice swim.

    We arrive in Rainbow Springs State Park with the intermittent dead pig off our backs. Get our swim gear on, and head towards the water. ($2 admission fee incase you plan on going.)

    Check out the view
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    Here&#8217;s the swimming area
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    Crystal clear water
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    Jthon diving in
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    In I go
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    The water is crystal clear, and feels awesome. We swim around for a second, and then realize that unless you are 9 foot tall, there is nowhere to touch.
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    No worries, we swim for the floating line and hang on. An weird old lady swims by, gives us the evil eye, and tells us we aren&#8217;t suppose to touch the buoys, and continues swimming. We continue to hang on for dear life. Luckily I brought my waterproof camera, so we decided to take a bunch of sweet pics.

    Jake doing the Nirvana baby
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    Other random snaps
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    After treading water for what seemed like hours, we discover a couple people not moving, just kinda standing in the water. So we investigate.

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    They were building a rock pyramid to stand on. Brilliant. We search around, and find one, but some little girl is on it. Jake being the jerk he is, swims over there and yells shark, she screams and swims away. Not ideal, but we have a tower.

    Jake celebrates by trying to eat the top rock????
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    One hand handstand, no big deal.
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    I point out a fish swimming by
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    Which leads me and Jake searching for more wildlife in the water.
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    Surprisingly the fish are quite friendly here.
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    We climb out, dry off, suit back up, and start planning. &#8220;Where to now&#8221; is the question. It was getting late, we still didn&#8217;t want to ride at night, we needed food, and a place to sleep.

    So, first things first, to Citrus Springs for some grub.

    We ended up finding a BBQ joint, which appeared to be a Sonny&#8217;s knock off.
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    Food was good, so no worries. There we decided to skip Cedar Creek, since we lost/wasted a lot of time the first day and today, and head South towards Withlacoochee State Park to camp.

    We ride down to the South-western tip uneventfully. We following the Northern border road until we see a movie theatre. Jackpot! We go, see the play times. All the movies start at the same time. Our choices were &#8220;Mission Impossible&#8221;, &#8220;New Years EVE&#8221;, and &#8220;Girl With Dragon Tattoo&#8221;. We decide on MI and buy tickets. We have about an hour until show time, so we leave to go find an entrance to the park. Low and behold, directly across the street is an entrance to the park. We cruise in about ¼ mile or so, find a spot, and turn around. Still armed with about 45 min we ponder our next move. BINGO! Go to closest liquor store, buy vodka, take back to theatre and mix with coke. Turn a good movie into a great movie real quick. We do a quick risk analysis. We only have to ride our bikes from this parking lot, to across the street. Minimal risk.

    We find a store a couple blocks down and decide to purchase multiple mini bottles of vodka.
    Jake snapped a quick pic for future evidence.
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    We return to the theatre, mix up our concoctions (4 vodkas into the coke) in the bathroom, and continue to wait.
    While waiting, I rage out on the arcade.
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    Movie time. Movie was great. Drinks were great. We were feeling great.
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    Now time to go camp it out. We get to our site in about 2 minutes. Set up shop, and just as we are about to climb into the sleeping bags, we hear packs of wild dogs, all around us.
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    Now, me and Jake are no sissies, but I remember watching a program on tv that was about wild dogs. Said they are vicious, cold, and not scared of humans. Will straight up tear you apart. I also remember that I was packing 5 chicken wings in the Giant Loop, and I wasn&#8217;t about to give those up. So, we pack up in a frantic hurry. Get on the bikes, and fly out of there. Find our way back to the road, and start cruising. We stop shortly down the road and search the maps for the closest state park not infested with rabid beast.

    We find Fort Cooper State Park on the map, and roll out. Right now, it&#8217;s about midnight, and we&#8217;re both tired and still feeling the spiked cokes a little bit. We arrive to the entrance of Ft. Cooper and it&#8217;s closed, we ride around the Eastern border, and it&#8217;s completely fenced in. No way to get in and camp for the night. We pull over in this parking lot for some bike/running trail they have throughout the area, and decide F*** it. Let&#8217;s camp here. So we park the bikes, get out our bags, and go to sleep.
    Jthon with a poopy face b/c he is tired.
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    #6
  7. worldrider555

    worldrider555 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2007
    Oddometer:
    470
    Location:
    Quakertown, PA
    Awesome ride report :lurk
    #7
  8. bump

    bump COLOR ME GONE

    Joined:
    May 28, 2007
    Oddometer:
    713
    This is to me a great ride report. It's funny and entertaining and all that overcomes the absence of epic scenery and photography. I laughed out loud several times plus you guys solved my problem finding an inline fuel filter for my XR650R!

    So rare to read a report on here and wish I was on that ride with those riders...

    Great stuff. "weaksauce running through his veins". Bitchin.
    #8
  9. SpeedoJosh

    SpeedoJosh Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    841
    Location:
    Florida Panhandle
    Glad you guys are enjoying it. I leave Monday for a three week adventure, (no bike this time). So I'm gonna try and get it finished up before I depart. :deal
    #9
  10. Papajijo

    Papajijo Adventurer

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2009
    Oddometer:
    14
    well if anyone is looking for a xr 650 r for sale take a look at the one with the big ol' head light because i think i heard josh say a hundred time that he "fucking done with this stupid shit. im gonna sell this bitch as soon as we get back to NC. i have the worst luck with vehicles. i waste my money buying this stupid shit. i just want to ride, but it just doesn't fucking work. it doesn't make any sense." Ya so see if he has changed his mind. hahaha it was awesome.

    oh ya and i like to party
    #10
  11. SpeedoJosh

    SpeedoJosh Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    841
    Location:
    Florida Panhandle
    Erroneous!! How dare you post that. I confided in you, and this is how you treat me. Don't be surprised if your bike gets kicked over by that cop again tonight. :2guns :muutt

    P.S. The real reason why your bike ran so much better the first leg is b/c I pissed in your tank. I tried to sabotage you, but since I drank so much the night prior my piss was like racing alcohol. :flip
    #11
  12. SpeedoJosh

    SpeedoJosh Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    841
    Location:
    Florida Panhandle
    Anyway, back to the RR. So we left off at me and Jthon passing out in the parking lot at around 2 or so in the morning.


    Friday, December 23 @ 6:00am

    I wake up to the sound of a car and radio chatter.
    Jake- &#8220;Morning officer&#8221;
    Officer- &#8220;How you boys doing&#8221;
    Me- thinking in my head, WTF is going on

    Well, come to find out, we were spotted sleeping there, and the cop was sent to send us on our way. He runs our info and all that jazz. Tells us we can&#8217;t just camp anywhere. Once he sees that we are waking up and packing our junk, he rolls out to fry bigger pieces of fish. Upon him leaving we realize that Jake&#8217;s bike has been knocked over from the tree it was resting on. He insists it was the cop, I laugh, he cries. We pick it up, no damage, no surprise.

    Pic of the parking area/lot
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    Our free camp site
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    We pack all our crap. I take a few minutes and go ride around the block.
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    Bike is running pretty good, so that&#8217;s always nice. Now time for some breakfast! Our goal was to eat at as many hole in the wall or locally ran hot spots that we could, and our breakfast find was just that. A local b-fast house just off the side of the street. We decide to charge up the phones while we eat. Upon getting the charger out of the bag, we realize that we still have a mini bottle of vodka left each. Jackpot!! I know who is having a spiked coffee this morning.

    This guy&#8230;.
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    Jake looked at me like I was crazy. I tell him I&#8217;m on vacation, and I like to party. Also that he should join me in the toast.
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    He wasn&#8217;t biting. Time to turn up the peer pressure. I start to belittle his ego by calling him a &#8220;cat&#8221;, and telling him if he had any balls, he&#8217;d throw that vodka in his OJ like a BOSS!!

    Peer pressure wins again.
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    After our custom breakfast
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    We decide to head towards Croom Motorcycle Park. The interweb said it&#8217;s a must visit, and we bite. We figured with the current bike problem it&#8217;d be best to return a day early, and work out the kinks before the ride to Key West. So after Croom, we were going to return to Bushnell.

    So, off we go&#8230;.
    [​IMG]

    One little secret about Jake, is that he hates turtles. When he was a little kid, he was playing with the hot neighbor girl, and found one in the yard. He thought it would be a good idea to put it on his head, like it was a helmet or some dumb shit like that, and the pimp ass turtle shat all over his face. I&#8217;m talking diarrhea all in his grill. The girl pointed and laughed. Jake cried. Since then he despises turtles.

    Which explains this pic..
    [​IMG]

    The road we were riding to Croom had a dirt turn off that turned out to be the top corner of Croom. So no sweet pics with the sign. Oh well. So here we are, kicking ass and taking names. Then we find some patches of soft sand, FML. We continue to power through, and I come powering up this hill, to see that the other side is a steep, bumpy, loose sand downhill. I subconsciously decide it&#8217;d be a sweet pic and immediately front flip off my bike over the handle bars, land olympically on my back -at the same time- exhaling all the oxygen out of my lungs. I slowly get up, in awe at the sweet moves I just pulled off. So much in awe that I am drooling all over myself, and gasping for air. After I am able to stand, I decide it really isn&#8217;t that good of a pic. But since my bike is parked so nicely on its side, in the sand, I take it anyway.

    Ooooo Ahhhhhh&#8230;
    [​IMG]

    So off I go again, trying to catch up to Jake.
    [​IMG]

    I found him a little bit later waiting for me, b/c he found this &#8220;sweet jump&#8221;. So I hit it, land, and start to turn around to go again. VRooomm&#8230;. My bike gets stuck in high idle in the middle of a turn. I pull in the clutch, it stops immediately, my height challenged self can&#8217;t reach the uneven ground, and the bike lays down again. This dang bike and it&#8217;s weird high idle nonsense have been plaguing me the whole trip. I decide I should probably sit down for a second, take a chill pill, and cry like a little girl instead of kicking my bike like I&#8217;m Jackie Chan.

    Here&#8217;s me being a baby back biiitch
    [​IMG]

    Jake laughs, and wants me to come take a pic of him hitting this &#8220;sweet jump&#8221; he found. I cheer up b/c I know the jump is weak, and once I post the pics of him and his &#8220;sweet jump&#8221; on ADV, he&#8217;ll loose street credit.

    So here&#8217;s the pics of his &#8220;sweet jump&#8221; :poser
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    And here&#8217;s his face one more time, just incase you want to congratulate him, and ask him when he&#8217;s gonna try out for the X-Games.
    [​IMG]

    After the jump, we press on. Ride around some more, then decide it&#8217;s about time to head back. We find this hard packed road, with a little bit of sand and gravel and take it. And do I mean take it. We end up flying down this thing. Damn near topping out the bikes. It was fawesome (fu**ing + awesome).

    Pic of the road when we first found it
    [​IMG]

    After the road, we find a paved road, map out our trip back to bushnell and roll.
    It was a good thing we left when we did too, b/c not even 10 ft on the paved road we had to switch to reserve.

    Cruising back to Bushnell
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Perfect weather I tell ya
    [​IMG]

    Jake&#8217;s pig safely back at my uncle&#8217;s
    [​IMG]

    Mine, along with the Twilight poster I got at the theatre.
    [​IMG]

    Was curious to see how long it would last, rolled up behind my headlight. Surprisingly it lasted the whole time. (It&#8217;s now on my wall. Team Edward all the way sucka!)

    Both the bikes, de-geared, and ready to load in the truck for the next leg of the trip.
    [​IMG]

    We recover for a bit. BS with my uncle. Eat more treats. I solder those wires together. We debate cleaning the filters, but we were tired and wanted to hit the road.

    At this point in the trip, the plan is for Jake to drive his truck with the bikes to Fort Myers to spend time with his family for Christmas, and drop me off along the way in Tampa, so I can spend Christmas with family there. Then on the 26th, I am to arrive in Fort Myers. We are gonna party there for a couple days, then head to the Keys.


    Dec 25 Christmas &#8211; HO HO HO
    [​IMG]


    Dec 26 (No bikes and no pics of this event, just the story)

    I arrive in Fort Myers early afternoon, and learn of a planned shark fishing/camping trip to the beach that night. Hell Yea. We waste the day, then get all the fishing gear and supplies loaded up, and head out. With one last stop in mind. Liquor store of course. We pick up whiskey, couple more mini bottles of vodka, and some TGI Fridays margarita mix, with the tequila already in it. We realize we are all kinda hungry, so we stop at a restaurant and chow down. Jthon&#8217;s brother is with us, and knows our waitress from high school. They chat, and that sly devil talks her into coming along.

    So now it&#8217;s Me, Jake, Ryan (his bro), a couple buddies, and the waitress. We get to the parking area, and start the trek out to the spot. After about a ½ mile of carrying a cooler, bunch of rods, buckets, bait, chum, camping gear, chairs, etc&#8230; We have reached the spot. Tired as hell. We go set everything up, cast out the rods, and sit there. After a couple bites, and stolen bait, we say F*** it, and reel them in. Return to the rest of the gear, start a fire, and start drinking and bs&#8217;ing. Ryan and the chick walk off to set up camp farther down the beach. Slick move. We continue to drink. Now let me tell you, that margarita mix might have sounded wussy, but they must of messed up the ratio. That stuff was knocking our socks off. So after numerous beers, sips of whiskey, and can of margarita (no cup, so reused beer cans), we were all pretty tired. Well, the alcohol and the fact that it was 5:00 in the morning. So we crawl into our sleeping bags.

    6:00 comes with a phone ringing. &#8220;What? COPS! You&#8217;re getting a ticket!&#8221; Yet again the cops have waken me and Jake up at 6:00 in the morning, after a night of drinking. Luckily for the four of us, the cops found his Ryan and the waitress first, and he phoned in the warning to us. (Unknown to all of us, you get a ticket for sleeping on the beach, WTF?) We pack the crap, and start beating feet down the beach to the cars. We successfully make it back to the vehicles before the cops make it to us. Ryan and the waitress show up a little later with their tickets. Of course the girl is flipping out. Funny thing is, Cops told Ryan if the girl wasn&#8217;t so mouthy, he wouldn&#8217;t of given them tickets.
    *I don&#8217;t need to say the message b/c we all know it, but there is a message to be learned there.*

    We all leave and return to our houses, and sleep the day away. Wake up, and decide to go easy that night and leave tomorrow morning for the Keys. We go out that night, drink copious amounts of fluids, return home, eats a few pounds of corn, in the form of tortilla chips. Go outside, take ridiculous pics on the deer camera, and pass out.

    [​IMG]

    Wake up the next day, realize it&#8217;s too late to try and leave, and decide to stay an extra day. So we go hit up the gym, hang out, and chill. After sitting around and watching about 5 hours of storage wars, we not only feel like pros at appraising junk, but we also are feeling antsy. So we decide to go out, with the plans of not staying out late, waking up early, and riding out.

    Well&#8230;. We go out, drink copious amounts of fluids, return home, eats a few pounds of corn in the form of tortilla chips. Go outside, take ridiculous pics on the deer camera, and pass out.

    [​IMG]

    Thursday, Dec. 29 Noon-ish

    SHIT, we did it again! Me and Jake jump into action, b/c we know if we don&#8217;t leave today, we won&#8217;t see the Keys.

    So we pack all the gear
    [​IMG]

    In a quick brain storm, we decide to leave the bikes in the truck. Speed down to Homestead FL, park the truck at a hotel, and start the journey there.

    Everything loaded up, and we&#8217;re off.
    [​IMG]

    We enjoy some of the fine scenery on the way down. I was set on finding a sweet flask at an Indian shop, so we stopped at a few.

    [​IMG]

    Nothing at that one. Maybe the next. Nope, but they did have a Sweet Camaro parked out front, which made the stop worth it.

    Sweet Camaro
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Defeated, we continued on to Homestead. At about this time, we can&#8217;t afford anymore stops or hold ups, b/c we are losing light, and we really want to start riding a few hours before dark. Looking at the clock, we should be able to at least hit Marathon before dark.

    Wait! Do you hear that? What&#8217;s that hissing noise? We didn&#8217;t even have to ask, b/c I swear Jake has the worst luck with tires. We already knew what that noise was. It was air leaking out of his tire. So much for not riding at night.

    Jake&#8217;s tire getting fixed as the sun sets behind us
    [​IMG]

    Ok, we can still make it to the Keys, we will just have to go to the 7eleven and pick up a couple cans of man-up, and ride all night like a couple of freed banshees right before the apocalypse. So we did. Parked the truck at a hotel with a fenced in parking lot, and rode out. Headlights already on.
    #12
  13. Papajijo

    Papajijo Adventurer

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2009
    Oddometer:
    14
    FUCKING TURTLES!

    and you guys can catch me at the x games next year i will be sure to get some autographs out there to all the adv boys. i know that jump was pretty sick i cant believe they didn't run it on new years instead they put that other dudes lame like 350 footer or something lame like that.
    #13
  14. Dr.Z

    Dr.Z 6Sigma Knuckle Shflr

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2006
    Oddometer:
    11,036
    Location:
    Central FL
    Cool RR you crazy FFs! :lol3

    Next time you're in Flor-duh, let me know. I wouldn't mind showing you around some and having a few brews. :deal
    #14
  15. SpeedoJosh

    SpeedoJosh Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    841
    Location:
    Florida Panhandle
    Sounds good. Always down for throwing back beverages with fellow ADV'rs. :freaky
    #15
  16. turnenem

    turnenem TBD

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2008
    Oddometer:
    1,163
    Location:
    Montana
    Fookin hilarious!!!!
    Great job, thanks for sharing!!!
    #16
  17. SpeedoJosh

    SpeedoJosh Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    841
    Location:
    Florida Panhandle
    No worries, glad you're enjoying. I leave tomorrow for another excursion (no bike), so I'm going to try my best to cram, and finish the RR for you guys before I depart. I'm sure the suspense is killing you. :D

    I would leave it up to Jake to finish, but he know's more about changing the oil on XRs then he does about computers.
    :eyes (see what I did there)
    #17
  18. XRx

    XRx Broken Filter

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    505
    Location:
    Bruins Territory
    Sweet sweet Camaro!
    #18
  19. SpeedoJosh

    SpeedoJosh Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Oddometer:
    841
    Location:
    Florida Panhandle
    **Up to this point I have left out that while Jake&#8217;s bike might have been running better then mine, he was definitely riding on borrowed time with his rear tire. On top of that, his chain was about as loose as Jenna Jameson pre-op. **

    Ok, so off we are riding towards the Keys and our final destination. Man it feels good, except for the fact that it&#8217;s freezing outside and we can&#8217;t feel our hands. With the cans of man-up in our blood, we push on, stopping for nothing. We arrive in Marathon, FL, and decide we should grab some grub. I see this place called Herbie&#8217;s as we fly by. Immediately flip a biz, and pull in. At this point, we are both ice-sickles,
    so we decide to put on more clothing. Jake digs out his jacket, as do I, and we enter.
    Eat some amazing food, break our *alcohol only* rule with a couple Yuenglings. We are feeling good. Bust out the map, and decide this is far enough for the night. We really wanted to see the water as we cruised over the 7 mile bridge into the lower keys, and onto Key West. I ask the waitress if there is any place around that we can just throw our bags on the ground and sleep. She gives up info on a place about a mile back that is right on the water, and has two hammocks posted up right there on the beach. Yahtzee!!! She gives us directions, then goes on to tell us that it is private property to the vacation rentals right there on the beach. We see no problem, b/c like stated, we like to party. She insist though that nobody would care anyway.

    Armed with a destination, we ride out. We shortly arrive at the rentals, and try to quietly drive through the parking lot to the back, right by the beach. Wasn&#8217;t happening with a couple pigs with aftermarket cans. We get a couple looks, but no worries. We park, walk about 10 feet to the beach, another 10 to the hammocks, and about another 10 to the water. Perfect. We bust out our blankies and post up in our beds for the night. Anxious to rise tomorrow and get to Key West.

    Jake in his sweet pad
    [​IMG]

    Me in my sweet pad
    [​IMG]

    Ahhh&#8230; perfection
    [​IMG]


    30 December

    Jake and I awake as the sun rises, without the help from the cops this morning. And this is our view&#8230;.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    With it still being a little chilly, I roll back over and wait for the sun a little longer
    [​IMG]

    Ok, time to get up
    [​IMG]

    I cruise on down to the water
    [​IMG]

    And leave Jake to write in his diary, in fear that I might start losing testosterone if I stayed a second longer
    [​IMG]

    Snap a couple more pics
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Now that the sun is up, I can see the name of these fancy vacation rentals. I google it up. BAM!, $500+ a night for one that&#8217;s on the water. I think how Jthon and I just camped in the best seats in the house fo&#8217; free.

    So, I give a chuckle to the suckers, and declare a victory to us
    [​IMG]

    All this commotion makes us hungry, luckily we were prepared. On the way out the door in Fort Myers, we raided the fridge of snacks and a giant steak. Certain we would find a use for it later. Well, it&#8217;s now later and I can&#8217;t think of a better breakfast then that.

    Jake goes digging in his Wolfman saddles
    [​IMG]

    Luckily these condos had a grill right outside. I brrrappp down to the store and pick up some charcoal and lighter fluid, having to pop to reserve on the way.

    It was some weak ass charcoal, let me tell ya
    [​IMG]

    Got a fix for that&#8230;
    [​IMG]


    Now this is vacation&#8230;. [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Steak and apples. That&#8217;s about every vitamin you could need right there.
    [​IMG]

    We were ill prepared with no cutlery, so we devoured the slab with our bare hands while making primate noises and drawing pictures on the side of the building with our bloody fingers.

    After our Breakfast of champions, we pack up and head out. We hit up the gas station on the corner, and Jake is weary of his chain being so loose. Decides he wants to tighten it before we ride the hour or so more south to Key West. So, we stop about a mile down the road at NAPA to borrow a 27mm socket, b/c we failed to bring one.
    They didn&#8217;t have one either, but the dude let us borrow his channel locks. Jake decides those will suffice, and gets to work.

    Doing work
    [​IMG]

    Wait a second, this is going to easy. Ahhh.. much better, the chain tensioning bolt is corroded. Jake buys some pb blaster, and over the course of about 15-20 minutes, blasts the whole can on it.

    Let&#8217;s see if that work&#8230;
    [​IMG]

    No dice. Well, let&#8217;s ride on it, and maybe the pb blaster will soak in some. So off we go. Over bridges and bridges of clear water, and through key after key.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]


    We snapped a lot of pics through that stretch. As we got into Key West, we put the cameras up, and started sight seeing. We rode around the coast, down Duvall St. Then we decided to hit up the beach. Ahhh&#8230;

    Palmtrees
    [​IMG]

    Coconuts
    [​IMG]

    And nice, ready for swimming water
    [​IMG]

    I decide to bust out the Olympus and swim over to the pier to see if I can catch some fishies chilling out.

    Found them hanging out by the stairs
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    The water wasn&#8217;t as clear here as other places. Especially under the bridges and the water on the way into Key West. Guess the surf kicks up a lot of dirt.

    After the swim, we decide to sight see some more. We wanted to go to the most southern tip of Florida, and get a pic with the pigs, so off we went. We invisioned this awesome beach, with white sands, clear water, and some rustic sign informing us we had reached it. Well we found it alright, shortly after we left the beach, and then we saw the line. The line was backed up around the corner, just to get a picture with some ugly ass stone, on the side walk, that said &#8220;Southern Most Tip&#8221; or some bananas. We were let down, and decided not to wait in the line, and rode on. At the light, I look across the street and see something even better&#8230;&#8230;.

    [​IMG]

    As you can see, after seeing the sign, I bolted across the intersection, up and onto the curb. Jake followed suit, and then ran back to snap pics.

    One more from Jake
    [​IMG]

    I busted out the Iphone and captured one as well
    [​IMG]

    Feeling like we accomplished our mission, we set out for food. Along our journey, we find a Honda Motorcycle shop in the middle of downtown Key West. Hot Dog, lets see if they can help Jake and his chain. (Really, we just wanted somewhere safe to leave the bikes, while we walk around Duvall street, sightsee, and eat.) So we ride over, ask them if they can look at it, hoping he&#8217;d say it&#8217;ll be a while and to leave the bikes. Nope. He sends the mechanic over immediately. He looks at it, visually, says he can&#8217;t do anything, and walks away. Plan not going so good. We start making small talk with the dude at the desk. He starts accusing us of illegally tagging our XRs, saying it wouldn&#8217;t fly in Florida. We tell him they&#8217;re both Florida tagged. He grumbles and says we must of done some funny business. I realize he is an old koot, and just nod. He tells us we&#8217;re crazy for riding motorcycle down here this time of year. Said we&#8217;re gonna die for sure if we aren&#8217;t careful. We assure him that we like to party. He then goes on to tell Jake that his chain is shot, and so is his sprocket. Jake disagrees, and they go back and forth a little bit. I intervene before Jake pisses this miserable old dude off, b/c I&#8217;d still like to park the bikes here. He agrees to let us park the bikes, so we change shoes, and off we go. Not before some dude comes and hits on Jake though. Telling him how cool his bike is, how much fun it must be. Says he&#8217;ll have to get a ride later. Then rubs Jake&#8217;s arm a little bit, and play hits him. I walk away and leave Jake to fend for himself. He catches up shortly, blushing like a school girl, and we continue on our mission.

    Food! We walk Duvall st. looking at all the shops and restaurants. Scoping out places to party later that night. Nothing really popping out. Then BAM! Sloppy Joe&#8217;s. Hells yes! We go in, no need for a menu. You don&#8217;t go to a place called &#8220;Sloppy Joe&#8217;s&#8221; and not try the sloppy joe mix. While we wait, we decide it&#8217;d be best to get a hotel on the island, party tonight, and leave tomorrow morn. So off I go, trying to find a hotel on New Years weekend in Key West. I make some calls, and find us a room. Sweet, room booked, plans for tonight, and our food is on the way out. This trip is looking good. We scarf down our food. I order an extra side of the sloppy joe mix b/c they obviously put crack in it. Finish that off and we leave. Walk around a little more. Then we head back to the bikes, and to the hotel. We put in the wrong address for the hotel and it leads us off the island. We&#8217;re bummed b/c we wanted something close to the action. Re-enter the address, and boom! Right in the heart of the mix. So we speed back in excitement as the sun sets.

    [​IMG]

    Think this was our first time we didn&#8217;t end up riding at night. We make it to the hotel safely. Key West is small, and so are the hotels. Especially if you get one in the heat of the mix. Unless you have a huge bank roll, then I&#8217;m sure you could have a sweet pad. Our room wasn&#8217;t the best&#8230;.

    But it had beds!!!
    [​IMG]

    It also had a place to do laundry. I wanted to wash my riding pants, so I stroll down to the washer. Shucks, no detergent on this floor. Off to the first floor I go. Shucks again, need my room key to get into the first floor washer room. So I stroll back up the stairs to my floor. Wait, whats this, I need a key to open the door for my floor. Probably not good that my key is in the room. No worries, I&#8217;ll just call Jake. Nope, phone is in the room also. Fuck!! So I walk back to the first floor, and no dice again. Need a room key to get onto the first floor from this stairwell also. WTF, I am stuck in the damn stairwell. Why in the hell is this stairwell secure like it&#8217;s an entrance to the White House. So I stand by the door to our floor and look through the glass window with a sad puppy dog face, hoping someone will walk by. After about 10 minutes, I change tactics and start pounding on the door, and yell for Jake. After about 10 minutes of that. I&#8217;m tired and sweating, b/c although this stairwell is secure as a jailhouse, they decided not to put A/C in it. I give up and rest my face on the door. Not two seconds later, perky ole&#8217; Jthon comes strolling by. He opens the door. I give him the &#8220;are you serious&#8221; look. He shrugs and walks towards the room. On the way, I question what took so long. He says, and I quote &#8220;I thought I heard something, but I wasn&#8217;t sure.&#8221; I tell him I&#8217;m gonna kill him in his sleep. Then I go shower up, and we hit the town. We&#8217;re pumped and ready to rock out. Plus I feel like I was just freed from prision. So bring on the drinks. Slowly but surely, we start to realize that there isn&#8217;t much young people out. More like older couples. No worries, so I hit the streets trying to find the younger crowd. I see some honeys eye-balling me and my homie Jthon. I strut over, introduce us, and quickly find out they are under 21. Nice to meet ya, adious! I quickly realize that it&#8217;s a losing battle. No worries, time to rage out and drink our asses off. We bar hop like it&#8217;s our job. Sticking to our alcohol only plan, vodka is flowing like rain in Washington. One of the best things about Key West, you can drink in the streets. So, no need to stand around in the bars crowded with over dressed tourists, we get our drinks to go. The street is more happening anyway.

    Jake spots this chill bum, and snaps a pic
    [​IMG]

    For some reason I&#8217;m super pumped about my sneakers and picture them
    [​IMG]

    We continue to run around like vigilantes, meeting all kinds of crazy people. Popping into bars for our to-go cups.
    I spot this sweet sign that reminds me of my old sailor days aboard the CGC Steelhead, and Jake snaps a pic
    [​IMG]

    Night start dwindling down, and we start the trek back to our hotel. Along the way, Jake is convinced he has to buy some cigars, and ask my opinion. Being influenced by vodka, I encourage him like our life depended on it. 20 bucks later, we continue on and pass by a hotdog stand. Yummmm. We order some brats or some sort of sausage.

    Jake chowing down
    [​IMG]

    We continue, and I&#8217;m still hungry. I swing into a store along the way that has a deli still open. I order a tub of tuna salad and chicken salad. The helper hooked me up, then the other helper wigged out. Said that she packed it wrong and started flailing around and yelling in her native language. I&#8217;m confused beyond believe, and wonder why this demon is speaking in tongues and ripping apart my bag o&#8217; salads. She packs it back up and gives it to me. I stare in disbelieve, wondering if I&#8217;m being punk&#8217;d. The cool helper comes and she tells me that the other girl is new, and this has happened before. I tell her good luck and quickly vacate before my food is burned on a cross.

    Jake has wondered off, but I quickly find him halfway scaled up some wall/light post. Not surprised b/c I&#8217;ll typically find him scaling to the top of buildings after a night of drinking. We walk back to the hotel. I joyfully eat my chicken and tuna salads on our journey back. Which are now packed all together, instead of neat separate ones. I name it chickuna salad, and brainstorm about marketing possibilities. We arrive alive back to the hotel, and I pass out while Jake watches Benjamin Button on TV.

    Mission to party in Key West complete!
    #19
  20. Papajijo

    Papajijo Adventurer

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2009
    Oddometer:
    14
    ya dude that dude at the honda shop in key west sucks. he was trying to say my luck is going to run out and i was crazy and all that shit. i guess i should just give up stop being cool and move to key west to be a salty ass creature recovering from a second divorce. ya thats right it was some crazy ass yankee who thought he could get away from it all and be a miserable dick poluting the greatest state ever "the cock of the nation" my beloved FLORIDA. i hate that guy. why cant people have some fun. ya i'm gonna die, who cares if it is in a bloody motorcycle crash, cancer, getting shot, heart attack. it does not matter, as long as you have a good time living. it safe to say i have had a good time so far so i might as well keep on partying! I hate that bob barker!

    and no dude touched my arm or whatever that was about. i think your dreams and fantasies have been pulled into your creative license with this tale. speedojosh (sweet name you must be really fast or something, watch out everybody fastest man in the world coming through! the amazing speedo josh) hahahahaha

    and whats with all these shirts
    #20