Coast to Coast (and back?) with an Italian Supermodel

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by AntiHero, Jul 13, 2012.

  1. GP640

    GP640 Long timer

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    The last time we had a report like this it was Rogue1's "took a little ride"
    and it ended with a picture of a very attractive woman and was never completed.

    Ya, I know he went to work for Baldy but geez.

    Hope this doesn't turn into another incomplete cliffhanger.
  2. mint julep

    mint julep Been here awhile

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    Great RR Antihero!

    I guess you like Montreal. Lots of beautiful women in our little city.:raabia
    Have a great r&r here and hope you get back on the road soon.
    By the way, love your writing style. You make me wanna read.:D

    Cheers,
    Dave
  3. badcherrys

    badcherrys Adventurer

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    AntiHero sir, I am really enjoying your rr. I can't wait for the next installment.
  4. AntiHero

    AntiHero Long timer

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    Hilarious. That's a ride report I'll have to read.

    I'm still here, in the thick of it. Have three pages of condensed ideas flattened out on single spaced pages, plus another three pages of miscellaneous supporting thoughts. I'd love to condense it all into 3 paragraphs (or just cut/paste installments), but it can't be broken up without ruining it all. It's not an intentional cliffhanger--I'm really struggling with it. Will be worth the wait.

    In the meantime I should fucking upload some pictures or something to prove I'm here!
  5. AntiHero

    AntiHero Long timer

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    Ok, so left Toronto and headed North East to Montreal. I checked my oil after GP Bikes had done the 12k Service and the level was ridiculously high. Ended up siphoning out 600ml of oil! (On its side stand the oil level read halfway between the two marks). Lacking the tools I'd need to drain the oil, I just scored some 1/4" tubing at the local hardware store and sucked it out.

    [​IMG]

    It rained a lot inbetween Toronto and Montreal, which ruined my desire to venture too much off the interstate, but I did....but there still wasn't a whole lot to see.

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    Hear the angels:
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  6. AntiHero

    AntiHero Long timer

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    In between me and Montreal (thousand islands, yada yada):

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  7. AntiHero

    AntiHero Long timer

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    This is what your arms/hands look like after a few hours on the Panigale:

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    Where the 1199 slept:

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    I stayed on a quaint little farmhouse about an hour south of 401. First time I ever used a bathroom where the toilet was plugged in (some sort of elector-pneumatic valve that saved space). I made a mental note to not pee in the dark. (Bad aim at 3am would be followed by cock electrocution.)

    Storm rolled in in the early morning and it continued to rain fairly hard. Around 11:30am I lost my wifi connection, so decided it was time to face the inevitable and head out. Turned on the shower and started brushing my teeth when the water cut out. I assume their pump also ran on electricity (bad planning--were these city folk?). So I rinsed with some vodka and was happy that I hadn't decided to bomb the base, seeing though the toilet was unflushable and I had to leave soon.

    Quick bath at the car wash:

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    And finally made it to Quebec. When I hit Ontario the signs made it very clear that speeding in excess of 30mph would result in arrest, vehicle seizure and a $10K fine. In Quebec they were just as harsh on people ignant enough to bring empty food containers into the territory. C'mon, people! Driving at 90mph on the freeway is clearly deserving of $50,000 in damages, but but 100km/hour inside a vehicle with an open and very sharp container? That's suicide. Leave the spinach at home Popeye, you'll be less of a risk to yourself and others.

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  8. camgregus

    camgregus riding gently now

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    wow
    just
    WOW
  9. mustardfj40

    mustardfj40 Been here awhile

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    Thanks for the report. Such a beautiful Italian girl!
  10. rico2072

    rico2072 Been here awhile

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    Still here, wanting more!

    Just some encouragement to keep the GREAT RR up!
  11. joepopp

    joepopp Adventurer

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    Awesome stuff! Thanks!
  12. Sgt93

    Sgt93 Adventurer

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    I just spent hours reading this thread after being given a link on Twitter for a "must read". What a story! Count me in for the rest and thanks for sharing. :thumb
  13. limeymike

    limeymike Who Me?

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    Quote:>>Antihero:::...and consumed one of my enemies: horse. Now in theory I don't have any problems with horses, but they've always had a problem with me, so fuck 'em. And besides--motorbikes make far better travel companions, don't bite, don't eat beefarino and don't poop all over the place.


    Horse is F'in delicious!! Was married to a Belgium girl for a while and they had a deli spread at Xmas. I fhound a meat that rocked and ate most of their plate and then they told me it was horse. I agree, horses F'in hate me so fuckem, pass me another slice. :freaky
  14. zingo

    zingo @ ?

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    and you are looking better then you every have. thanks for the reports
  15. erockmapquest

    erockmapquest Adventurer

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    No littering??? Ne pas jeter sur la voie publique. :rofl
  16. kcumjc

    kcumjc Adventurer

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    That was one great RR. Truely a great read and this one is shaping up to match it.
  17. AntiHero

    AntiHero Long timer

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    The funny thing about signs in our own countries is we take the meanings for granted. Having a new set of signs and symbols requires a moment (sometimes longer) to figure out, 'what the fuck is that icon supposed to convey'? To write about a no littering sign is boring....but playing on the absurdity other possible meanings is perhaps only possible from an outsider's perspective--and for those who are familiar with them it gives new meaning of something that locals take for granted. So take a hit or two off my sarcasm bong and enjoy!!!!

    I guess while I'm on topic--ignorance is not a legal defense anywhere in the world. Add to that the fact that 99.99989% of the civilized world (and 100% of the uncivilized) already know that disposing of trash in the public domain (sidewalks in Montreal don't count) is illegal and, hmmm, I can't think of a single reason why they're even there. AHA! I got it: It's an ironic joke played on us all by a bearded, skinny jean-wearing, Pabst Blue Ribbon-drinking, fixie-riding, American Eagle-smoking hipster on Quebec's Committee of Highway Planning thought, "someone somewhere will get this joke." (The joke being that the litter-prohibiting signs are the embodiment of exactly that which they're trying to prevent--that is: permanent visual litter, made from exactly the same cheesemetal as the naked Campbell's soup can pictured!)

    Speaking of signs--Montreal has a lot I haven't seen. I should probably go around snapping shots of just the signs and do a page write-up on the 'rules of the road', seeing as though I've been breaking laws left and right (mostly right--on reds).
  18. Blader54

    Blader54 Long timer

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    Love that sign!! "Open tin cans prohibited"....

    Wouldn't it be funny to go back to one of those and modify it to look like one of Warhol's soup cans? Think of the messages that would convey......


    Litter and visual pollution.....the anti-littering sign as a form of pollution itself......I wonder if they ever thought to take the sign down and see how much litter accumulated over the course of the next year? Maybe the sign has completed it's mission and the need for it no longer exists. Maybe the sign is just a visual form of a "blue law".....but one that is much more visible.
  19. AntiHero

    AntiHero Long timer

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    Love the soup can idea and great points.
  20. Mo-Tarded

    Mo-Tarded Been here awhile

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    I'd bet no one ties and drags empty cans to cars after a wedding. :lol3