Coming back to the "Real World" after long trips

Discussion in 'Trip Planning' started by guyfawkes, May 31, 2016.

  1. shoeb

    shoeb Long timer

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2015
    Oddometer:
    1,064
    Location:
    Sheffield, England
    Sorry if it's off topic, but I'm merely responding to subjects brought up by others. It is a discussion, after all. And when I see BS, I call BS. :dunno
    #41
  2. Pantah

    Pantah PJ Fan from Scottsdale

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2004
    Oddometer:
    11,933
    Location:
    Scottsdale Arizona
    My longest trips are only a month or so. I have no trouble rejoining my routines after those. But when I was young I experienced a whole new life change and was gone from home for three years. I NEVER was able to readjust back. So I moved away and started a whole new life, complete with new friends and interests. In fact, that is when I took up motorcycling. When I got to my mid 50's I started aspiring to an extensive motorcycle tour aboard a dual sport. Maybe not RTW, but certainly North and South America. But the desire to do something like that has faded for me now that I am in my sixty's. I'd rather do shorter trips because I'd probably get bored with something that big. Or maybe I'm just too lazy for something like that. I read Jupiter's travels a couple times, but I don't even read RTW articles anymore. Well, maybe RTW Doug...
    #42
    kojack06 likes this.
  3. nicholastanguma

    nicholastanguma nicholastanguma

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Oddometer:
    2,169
    Location:
    New York City

    I agree, and apologize for having sounded condescending in my statements. It was never my intention. No hurt feelings, I hope.
    #43
  4. nicholastanguma

    nicholastanguma nicholastanguma

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Oddometer:
    2,169
    Location:
    New York City

    Really?



    Really?


    You need prayer, mate. I'm going to pray to Jesus for you. :rofl
    #44
    MeanGrnZX6RR likes this.
  5. Seadragon16

    Seadragon16 Adventurer

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2014
    Oddometer:
    151
    Location:
    Colchester, UK
    I certainly didn't intend any disrespect, like I said, each to their own. It is purely my opinion that having kids and settling in one place is a pretty awful way to live your life. I understand lots of people enjoy it, I'm only saying that I don't and I know other people who feel the same way. At the of the day so long as you're happy doing whatever makes you happy then what other people think really doesn't matter.
    #45
    Don Flamenco and guyfawkes like this.
  6. shoeb

    shoeb Long timer

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2015
    Oddometer:
    1,064
    Location:
    Sheffield, England
    Fixed for you. Just because it's wrong for you, doesn't make it wrong for everyone else.
    #46
    Phaedrus68 likes this.
  7. Phaedrus68

    Phaedrus68 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Oddometer:
    109
    Location:
    Dublin
    Yet it's commonly the "true adventurer", free-spirited, live-free nomads who spout comments like, "having kids and settling in one place is a pretty awful way to live your life".

    Someone who truly had an "each-to-their-own" attitude wouldn't even think that comment above, let alone express it.

    Anyway, whatever way we're living our lives is "right" for each of us in our own time and place. And eventually the critics of the children-and-settle way of life will invariably follow suit, when that's what appeals to them.
    #47
    shoeb likes this.
  8. guyfawkes

    guyfawkes Move along, nothing to see here

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2012
    Oddometer:
    1,007
    Location:
    Vienna


    maybe you're confusing this whole thing with being a hippie ?
    just because you dont like somebodys opinion doesnt make the opnion less valid let alone give you any justification to put them down.
    #48
    Seadragon16 likes this.
  9. Phaedrus68

    Phaedrus68 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Oddometer:
    109
    Location:
    Dublin
    To my mind, a comment like "having kids and settling in one place is a pretty awful way to live your life" is a judgement, and placing "just my opinion" or "no offence intended" before it doesn't negate that.

    Perhaps some opinions are less valid than others - an opinion held by someone without experience (a notional opinion) is surely less valid than that of someone with experience (an informed opinion)?

    Seadragon16 is right about other's opinions not mattering if you're happy in your circumstances. But - as I view the children-and-settle comment as a judgement - the two notions seem contradictory to each other; "each to their own" (a truly worldly notion, if genuine) vs "your own is awful" (a judgement, whether disguised as an opinion or not).

    I'm sure no-one intends to deliberately insult or disrespect anyone else here, but disguising a judgement as an opinion (sub-/un-consciously or otherwise) is always likely to ruffle feathers.

    FWIW, I've done the year-solo-bacpacking thing, and worked in other countries, and have lived/slept in 12 different addresses over the last 5 years, while I've also owned a house and have been married and have three kids. In my opinion, my opinion on the matter is informed...

    Peace guys - do your own thing, but maybe leave the judgements behind the screen...

    :beer
    #49
    Trip Hammer and shoeb like this.
  10. shoeb

    shoeb Long timer

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2015
    Oddometer:
    1,064
    Location:
    Sheffield, England
    But you ARE putting down someone's opinion; the opinions of those who feel that settling down is right for them.

    Please be clear, there's a difference between freedom OF speech and freedom FROM speech. You have the right to an opinion NOT a right never to have your opinions challenged. In fact, having our opinions challenged is how we grow as people, as it shows us the inadequacies of our worldviews and encourages us to be more open-minded. Regarding your opinion specifically, Phaedrus has a point; while you don't have to want kids yourself, you probably need to have one before you can make such broad judgments.
    #50
  11. High Country Herb

    High Country Herb Adventure Connoiseur

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2011
    Oddometer:
    22,799
    Location:
    Western Sierras
    I do think you have to plan for a time when you can no longer travel. Watching my mother-in-law reminds me of this. She is 84. She can barely walk to her mailbox and back, so there is no way she is going to travel the world. She can't work any more, so it is a good thing she gets a teacher retirement check every month.

    She also reminds me that I should not wait until retirement to travel. To many die shortly after they retire. At 44 years old, riding off road, camping, hiking, drinking beer, and tasting whisky is doable. As age and my diabetes sets in, I'm sure some of those things will change. When I am retired, maybe I'll do that fall colors bus tour through New England, etc. Before that time comes, however, I want to climb Mount Fuji, ride a scooter to Monaco for the F1 race, etc.

    At this point in my life, I am able to travel for about one month every couple of years. Even taking a few small vacations here and there, I can accrue enough time off to do most of that as paid leave. I work with a bunch of educated wanderers with similar mind sets, so they understand. I also make sure my trip is mostly paid off, and I have some cash saved before I go, so I don't have huge bills when I return.

    Coming back to my routine life is more or less difficult depending on how amazing the trip was. I still day dream about my trip to the Isle of Man TT and the British Isles, and that was a whole year ago! I can't imagine I will ever experience something that grand again...but I'll darn sure try.
    #51
    jimmex and shoeb like this.
  12. Seadragon16

    Seadragon16 Adventurer

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2014
    Oddometer:
    151
    Location:
    Colchester, UK
    Wow there really are some tetchy people hanging around this thread. In my experience the ones who take such umbrage with other people's views are often trying to convince themselves that they're right, not convince other people. Like I said, it's my opinion, not a judgement and it appears I'm not alone in that opinion.

    I lived with an ex partner and raised his kids, owned a house, etc for ten years so I do actually have experience of the alternative to my lifestyle choice for those that seem to think that matters. I find it a little scary that someone here suggests that you should have a child before you're qualified to argue that it's not the lifestyle for you.

    At the end of the day if you want to take offence at my opinions then that's your problem not mine. This really isn't what this thread is about though so I'm done responding on this particular topic.
    #52
    Shake_N_Bake likes this.
  13. shoeb

    shoeb Long timer

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2015
    Oddometer:
    1,064
    Location:
    Sheffield, England
    This argument could as easily be applied to your statements as mine.

    No-one suggested that. I suggested you 'should probably have a child' before making the blanket statement that it's 'an awful way to live your (aimed at others) life' (as opposed to 'not the lifestyle for me).

    And I'm taking my football with me! :lol3

    Look, just take a breath. You gave an opinion, someone called you on it. If you're secure in your beliefs there's no need to be flustered by that. How you feel about home life is actually at the heart of this thread; if you hate it, you'll struggle to re-adjust to it. If you are happy with it, the discombobulation shouldn't last too long. That's why the thread was bound to lead to an evaluation of home life.
    #53
  14. DaMonk45

    DaMonk45 I B Da Monk

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2009
    Oddometer:
    3,161
    Location:
    Texas
    this thred leads to asking uncomfortable questions all the way around.
    The ones who have done it
    The ones who have not.
    #54
  15. Seadragon16

    Seadragon16 Adventurer

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2014
    Oddometer:
    151
    Location:
    Colchester, UK
    It's interesting that some people have a tendency to read things in a certain tone and presume that the person writing it is in some way getting flustered. I really was just stating a fact that this is not what this thread is about. It's a shame a few overly-defensive people have felt the need to attack the views of others and derail what was a legitimate discussion.

    One interesting thing about this discussion is the feeling of some people that 'home life' is the centre of everything, the point at which you choose to either stay or leave. I guess that's a product of most people's upbringing - being taught to be good citizens, to work towards getting a good job and earning a good wage, buying a house, having kids, paying into the system and being a good consumer. The majority of the people I've met who live a mostly nomadic lifestyle would say they don't really have a 'home' point, that they don't feel tied to any particular place. I would say a high proportion of those people also own very little. When I'm away from my home country it's because I want to be experiencing new things, it's not because I hate the place I'm from or am avoiding going back there. Just my opinion though before anyone starts to get their knickers in a twist.
    #55
  16. shoeb

    shoeb Long timer

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2015
    Oddometer:
    1,064
    Location:
    Sheffield, England
    Well, at you don't sound defensive...











    :lol2
    #56
  17. jbonds

    jbonds Explorer

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2010
    Oddometer:
    9
    Location:
    Virginia Beach,VA
    I have been in the military for 17 years and I have found after multiple deployments I have one overriding theme for returning to "normal" life. Please understand that I am over simplifying 15 years of marriage (so far) and 10 deployments and trying to take out the PTSD issues.
    Have a plan. After months of living in either a small group or alone and being self-dependent sometimes people feel frustrated with depending on others and maintaining social relationships. Honestly some people find it easier to just stop trying. I tell my new guys to plan for "me time" to process their priorities and make sure that if they want relationships to work that it will take work and patience on all sides. Plan not to always bring up stories of your own adventures like "howard-the astronaut" on big bang theory. He brings it up way too much....ask about other peoples' stories and remember some experiences you have will be so alien that they won't be able to even identify with the "main character" I personally take time smoke cigar's at the end of the day for the first week or two.
    #57
    shoeb likes this.
  18. cal08

    cal08 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    May 28, 2007
    Oddometer:
    565
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    Truth my friend. I am shocked how fast my body went down hill. None of the things I worried about as a young, healthier man ever really amounted to anything of consequence.
    #58
  19. AllSeasonRider

    AllSeasonRider Wandering, maybe a little lost...

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2008
    Oddometer:
    1,324
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    [​IMG]

    I took increasingly bigger trips when I was younger. When I was 27 years old, I set out by myself from NY to ride across the continent on a beat up old Buell and ended at a guy's house in Los Angeles that I had never met before aside from a forum. Everyone I knew thought I was nuts, was going to end up dead, bored or lost. Instead, I learned I could easily count on myself to get through pretty much anything and that where I was living and what I was doing for work was not really where I wanted to be - SoCal seemed really nice! Too bad I had just bought a house less than a year earlier.

    Last year I rode out to Los Angeles again, and stayed with that same stranger from the internet who has turned out to be a really good friend of mine. I learned all of the same lessons, but the value was not in the lessons, but the reaffirmations of what I learned 5 years ago.

    I'm in a much better situation, now. The house is on the market and my girlfriend is onboard to move to California. We have no jobs or a place to live lined up yet, but I can count on myself.

    My girlfriend has little interest in riding - definitely on the street, but I might be able to get her to try some dirt. However, we've talked about getting a sailboat and wandering around that way for a while at some point. She likes having a 'home', though she's not tied to a particular place, and the desire for immersive travel is within both of us. We'll see where we end up!
    #59
    Seadragon16 and Suncoaster like this.
  20. lhendrik

    lhendrik Putins Puppet

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2008
    Oddometer:
    2,734
    Location:
    New York
    I have a really crappy home life these days, lonely, very boring and few friends. Nevertheless, I cannot wait to get home after an adventure tour.
    #60