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Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by vermin, Sep 9, 2007.
Adventure "wriding" at it's best!
Ahendepe shudders as he regains consciousness, he is driving a car down a familiar road into the sunrise.
He recognizes the temple of consumption.
He has driven by this tabernacle of trash approximately 8320 times, he notices the linear mathematical relationship between his number of passes, morning and night, and the height of the dump. He has prospered.
He approaches the machine, will it accept him? Will he get to grasp at the grocery spigot today?
The green light flashes he is accepted. He has humbly asked permission to play the game another day and it has been granted.
He sees familiar faces, they are busy people.
He has known these people a long time and has grown to love them. He has seen their births, deaths, weddings and divorces. They have watched each other grow old. He says “Good morning sunshine! How are you” they reply “Fine thanks, and you?
They don’t know he has been gone.
At the coffee machine his cubemate asks “so, how was your trip”
Ahendepe says “fine”
He sits down and notices the red light blinks on his phone. He can’t remember his password. There is a familiar tightening in his chest.
A) Chest loosener (Nitro)
B) Liquid enthusiasm
C) Red light reminds him that he has forgotten to put the “I will be out of the office message” on everything.
D) Unauthorized non-5S compliant personal effects with a picture of Sweet Thang surrounded by their larva.
Vermin has crawled back into his hole.
For those interested Drifters account is at
Bless his pea pickin heart
Well done! Where we going next time?
Fricken best report Ever!
Dude, That is just an amazing story, everything from your moods, to your perceived impressions on other people, to, well, ffs, y'all just read the report, you know what I mean.
I'm amazed and awed.
Here's hoping that you get a chance to go get cack and ride her again. I think it's inevitable. (hint, hint)
Okay, time for me to go ride.
I'm thinking we're overdue for an Art Bike forum on ADV. This would be my first nominee.
Wow, just wow. what a word-smith. literally, it was the best ride report i've ever read.
Your post temporarily (I hope) blinded me but I'll check out the link soon.
I couldn't stop laughing after the arrival at the uncle's post.
I enjoyed this so much. Thank you for including us all in your trip. It's a great joy reading such well crafted compostion. The metaphors and allegorical references kept me wide-eyed.
Aw, f*ck it, this thing was f*cking hilarious!
The irony is hilarious to think that a car part designer would have such a "loosely designed" motorbike.
I'm so glad their are people as you in this world.
What a great storyteller!!! Till the very end.
I can't wait two more years for another epic Vermin yarn. Can you ride around the block on a 'borrowed' scooter or something and post a ride report?
Thanks for posting!!!
p.s. I absolutely love the chicken scratch labeling. It just fits.
A super ride, and photos!
The Webmaster at Ratbike zone (my favorite site,just in front of this one) put me onto this report (I'm a regular there) and being a Brit,I can relate to and apprieciate your writing style and view of the world.
Don't know how long it took to read,but I read it from start to finish and got lost in it-I'd better go and wash up/cook dinner now (quick time) or the g/friend is gonna be pissed at me.
BTW,I reckon the weestrom you mention on the Ratbikezone blurb (about CACK) will be the next CACKmobile,you obviously have access to copious amounts of yellow & orange hi-viz paint and will miss such a bike in your mancave.
Great report, and I like the idea of an "Art" bike thread too!
Another "atta boy" here. Wonderful read.
When I grow up I wanna wride, rite, ahh.....write like you. Nice work.
Great ride report. I appreciate your wit and powers of observation.
This thread caused me to think of an interesting project. I'm thinking we(advrider.com) should put together a rat bike that we decorate and pass from adv rider to adv rider to promote such trips. Something akin to the torch being passed from rider to rider with no end in sight. If you use the bike, you pay the title transfer fee and insurance. Once done, pass it along to the next rider, etc.
Would make for some interesting ride reports.
Wife and I did part of the same trip just a couple of weeks ago, but in a cage. The PC would have been a much better choice! Fantastic writing, I haven't laughed like that for a while. Thanks again.
Anyway I like to share this time with my children the same way my father shared his with me. The lessons I learned on those trips, guided me through some turbulent times and are ones I carry with me today. Thanks Pops.
You are THE MAN. One of the greatist stories I have ever read here or in books. Thank you and all the best. Your son has an incredible mother and father and I hope he reads this and realizes it this early in his life. Wow
This was an uplifting report, and I salute you !
What we need is a "Hall of Fame" for excellent threads. This one would cerainly be in it. Too many of the really good ones get missed or buried.
Thanks for making me laugh. You certainly have a gift and I would buy your book.
You did mention that your son wanted to become a writer. It would be interesting to read his side of the story.
Hilarious. Best ever! Gave me a completely new perspective on riding a bike.