Detroit to San Diego, Zen and the art of motorcycle negligence,

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by vermin, Sep 9, 2007.

  1. Gernick

    Gernick Long timer

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Oddometer:
    3,706
    Location:
    Far Western New York
    Outstanding. Beautiful piece of work you made there. It sounded like one heck of a trip.

    Nice bike. :rofl
    #81
  2. Norsman

    Norsman ...a GSophile

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2004
    Oddometer:
    2,388
    Location:
    Plover, WI
    Adventure "wriding" at it's best!
    #82
  3. vermin

    vermin unrepentant thinner

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Oddometer:
    561
    Ahendepe shudders as he regains consciousness, he is driving a car down a familiar road into the sunrise.

    [​IMG]

    He recognizes the temple of consumption.

    [​IMG]

    He has driven by this tabernacle of trash approximately 8320 times, he notices the linear mathematical relationship between his number of passes, morning and night, and the height of the dump. He has prospered.

    He approaches the machine, will it accept him? Will he get to grasp at the grocery spigot today?

    [​IMG]

    The green light flashes he is accepted. He has humbly asked permission to play the game another day and it has been granted.



    He sees familiar faces, they are busy people.

    [​IMG]

    He has known these people a long time and has grown to love them. He has seen their births, deaths, weddings and divorces. They have watched each other grow old. He says “Good morning sunshine! How are you” they reply “Fine thanks, and you?

    They don’t know he has been gone.

    At the coffee machine his cubemate asks “so, how was your trip”

    Ahendepe says “fine”

    He sits down and notices the red light blinks on his phone. He can’t remember his password. There is a familiar tightening in his chest.

    [​IMG]

    A) Chest loosener (Nitro)

    B) Liquid enthusiasm

    C) Red light reminds him that he has forgotten to put the “I will be out of the office message” on everything.

    D) Unauthorized non-5S compliant personal effects with a picture of Sweet Thang surrounded by their larva.



    Vermin has crawled back into his hole.

    [​IMG]


    The End



    For those interested Drifters account is at

    http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=289782

    Bless his pea pickin heart
    #83
    Alexander B likes this.
  4. bross

    bross Where we riding to?

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Oddometer:
    5,165
    Location:
    Osoyoos, BC
    Well done! :clap Where we going next time?
    #84
  5. jazzmans

    jazzmans fickt euch

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Oddometer:
    11,108
    Location:
    Devils Playground nv
    :clap

    Fricken best report Ever!

    Dude, That is just an amazing story, everything from your moods, to your perceived impressions on other people, to, well, ffs, y'all just read the report, you know what I mean.



    I'm amazed and awed.

    Here's hoping that you get a chance to go get cack and ride her again. I think it's inevitable. (hint, hint)

    Okay, time for me to go ride.

    jaz
    #85
  6. MrBob

    MrBob Knee-jerk liberal

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2005
    Oddometer:
    9,910
    Location:
    Gunbarrel, CO, etc.
    [​IMG]

    Note:
    I'm thinking we're overdue for an Art Bike forum on ADV. This would be my first nominee.
    #86
  7. CETME

    CETME Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2005
    Oddometer:
    198
    Wow, just wow. what a word-smith. literally, it was the best ride report i've ever read.
    #87
  8. MrBob

    MrBob Knee-jerk liberal

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2005
    Oddometer:
    9,910
    Location:
    Gunbarrel, CO, etc.
    Your post temporarily (I hope) blinded me but I'll check out the link soon.
    #88
  9. Just A Ride

    Just A Ride Travelin' Light

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2007
    Oddometer:
    9
    Hahahaha,
    I couldn't stop laughing after the arrival at the uncle's post.
    I enjoyed this so much. Thank you for including us all in your trip. It's a great joy reading such well crafted compostion. The metaphors and allegorical references kept me wide-eyed.
    Aw, f*ck it, this thing was f*cking hilarious!
    The irony is hilarious to think that a car part designer would have such a "loosely designed" motorbike.
    I'm so glad their are people as you in this world.
    #89
  10. sas

    sas Thumper Girl

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Oddometer:
    777
    Location:
    Mid-Mich
    :jack

    What a great storyteller!!! Till the very end.

    I can't wait two more years for another epic Vermin yarn. Can you ride around the block on a 'borrowed' scooter or something and post a ride report?

    Thanks for posting!!!

    p.s. I absolutely love the chicken scratch labeling. It just fits.

    :bow
    #90
  11. curbjumper

    curbjumper Lane Changer

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2006
    Oddometer:
    5,210
    Location:
    Alberta, Canada
    UNREAL!


    A super ride, and photos!


















    [​IMG]
    #91
  12. Hoon

    Hoon Ratty Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2007
    Oddometer:
    366
    Location:
    Hainault,green and pleasant England.
    The Webmaster at Ratbike zone (my favorite site,just in front of this one) put me onto this report (I'm a regular there) and being a Brit,I can relate to and apprieciate your writing style and view of the world.

    Don't know how long it took to read,but I read it from start to finish and got lost in it-I'd better go and wash up/cook dinner now (quick time) or the g/friend is gonna be pissed at me.

    BTW,I reckon the weestrom you mention on the Ratbikezone blurb (about CACK) will be the next CACKmobile,you obviously have access to copious amounts of yellow & orange hi-viz paint and will miss such a bike in your mancave. :evil
    #92
  13. OldManDragon

    OldManDragon Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Oddometer:
    84
    Location:
    near Esom Hill Ga...
    Great report, and I like the idea of an "Art" bike thread too!
    #93
  14. yzfcathy

    yzfcathy Weeble

    Joined:
    May 9, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,226
    Location:
    TUS LAS
    Another "atta boy" here. Wonderful read.

    When I grow up I wanna wride, rite, ahh.....write like you. Nice work.
    #94
  15. SimpleSimon

    SimpleSimon Aspiring advrider

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Oddometer:
    3,399
    Location:
    Lake Stevens, WA
    Great ride report. I appreciate your wit and powers of observation.

    This thread caused me to think of an interesting project. I'm thinking we(advrider.com) should put together a rat bike that we decorate and pass from adv rider to adv rider to promote such trips. Something akin to the torch being passed from rider to rider with no end in sight. If you use the bike, you pay the title transfer fee and insurance. Once done, pass it along to the next rider, etc.

    Would make for some interesting ride reports.
    #95
  16. 65bmwr50

    65bmwr50 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Oddometer:
    553
    Location:
    Sandy Hook, VA
    Wife and I did part of the same trip just a couple of weeks ago, but in a cage. The PC would have been a much better choice! Fantastic writing, I haven't laughed like that for a while. Thanks again.
    #96
  17. linkweewee

    linkweewee tantum quantum

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Oddometer:
    14,268
    Location:
    Oregon
    Anyway I like to share this time with my children the same way my father shared his with me. The lessons I learned on those trips, guided me through some turbulent times and are ones I carry with me today. Thanks Pops.

    You are THE MAN. One of the greatist stories I have ever read here or in books. Thank you and all the best. Your son has an incredible mother and father and I hope he reads this and realizes it this early in his life. Wow
    #97
  18. mudinureye

    mudinureye Bertie

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2005
    Oddometer:
    88
    Location:
    N. Ireland
    :clap This was an uplifting report, and I salute you :freaky !

    Mud
    #98
  19. Kokopelli

    Kokopelli Yeah, right!

    Joined:
    May 2, 2003
    Oddometer:
    4,856
    Location:
    Rapaura
    What we need is a "Hall of Fame" for excellent threads. This one would cerainly be in it. Too many of the really good ones get missed or buried.

    Thanks for making me laugh. You certainly have a gift and I would buy your book.

    You did mention that your son wanted to become a writer. It would be interesting to read his side of the story.
    #99
  20. Jack90210

    Jack90210 quia ego nominor leo

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2004
    Oddometer:
    15,650
    Location:
    Charlottesville, VA