1) start early Sunday morning, so you don't feel pressured and will be sure to finish in time for the ride with friends 2) search for Owner's Manual; make a note to buy one later 3) warm engine (not hot) and park bike over a big piece of cardboard (newspaper can substitute, you won't have time to read it anyway) 4) position oil pan beneath crankcase of motorcycle 5) remove oil filler cap and place on floor under the bike, where it can't fall off and roll under a cabinet 6) try to loosen oil drain plug with your wrench which is closest to the correct size 7) if your last service was done at a shop with a young, strong, apprentice mechanic, get a piece of pipe to put over the wrench handle for more leverage to break the plug loose 8) borrow large vice-grips (locking pliers), apply to the now stripped oil drain plug and loosen until it can be turned by hand 9) turn plug out slowly by hand until oil starts to seep out,... then turn it out as fast as you can to remove it before the hot oil becomes unbearable 10) as quickly as possible, re-position oil pan under crankcase so the oil is no longer pouring out onto the floor 11) try not to drip too much oil on floor walking to corner of garage to get rags and newspapers, wipe oil off hands 12).... if necessary find some of your wife's old towels (more on this later) to mop up excess oil from garage floor 13) Using an ordinary hammer and the minimum force necessary, pound your longest screwdriver through the oil filter to obtain the leverage required to break loose the overtightened filter threads (see reference to young technician, Step 7). 14) remove oil filter, which will then remind you to re-position pan to receive the remainder of the oil; - IMPORTANT - check to make sure you didn't drive the screwdriver through the crankcase 15) crank starter to scavenge the the last little bit of oil, trying not to knock over the bike in your haste to shut the engine off before permanent damage occurs 16) remove, clean, and install the cap on your oil drain pan,... and clean up the mess on the floor 17) go to buy replacement oil and filter, dumping your drain pan at a recycle facility on the way 18) returning home, place a little oil on the filter gasket and install filter 19) place funnel in oil filler hole and pour oil carefully into funnel, this will remind you that you haven't re-installed the oil drain plug. 20) clean up mess with wife's old towels (more on this later), recall that you dropped drain plug into the drain pan due to the 'WARM' oil 21) look in oil drain pan and shake vigorously until assured it does not contain drain plug 22) go to recycle center to be assured the plug is not retrievable 23) buy another quart of oil while you're out 24) call friends and inform them of child's illness which prevents you from riding with them today 25) after work on Monday (Tuesday if your bike dealer is closed on Monday) go to your bike dealer and buy new oil drain plug,... they always have an adequate supply stocked for just this reason 26) while there, surreptitiously practice with a torque wrench to see what 18 Ft.Lbs. (24 Nautical Miles) feels like 27) arriving home, install oil drain plug and tighten to approximately the feeling you remember from 26) above 28) put in the specified quantity of oil, plus a little left-over in the can you tried to put in Sunday 29) take short ride to warm engine and check for leaks and oil level 30) at first stop sign, your foot slips off brake lever because your shoe and the side of the bike are covered with oil, you have forgotten to re-install the oil filler cap; go home slowly and clean everything up. 31) look for oil filler cap; after carefully searching the garage, go out to trash can to search through oily papers and wife's old towels (more on this later), remember that trash was picked up this morning 32) rush back to the dealer's shop hoping someone will still be there 33) Tuesday (or Wednesday, as the case may be), go to bike shop after work again and buy your new oil filler cap,... they always have an adequate variety stocked for just this reason 34) go home, install oil filler cap and start engine; ride bike for short distance 35) pull into garage and check under bike for leaks, tighten oil filter and oil drain plug until seepage stops; DO NOT OVERTIGHTEN 36) call friends and explain you can't go riding Sunday because you will be taking a cruise with your wife,... to appease her for ruining her family's heirloom towels Performance improves with practice, after 60 years experience I can now perform this work in as little as a dozen steps. Good luck!