grandpa T-bone's M/C Oil Changing Tips

Discussion in 'The Garage' started by grandpa T-bone, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. grandpa T-bone

    grandpa T-bone Vet - old Laconia RR

    Feb 4, 2013
    Healdsburg, CA, heart of windy, twisty m/c heaven!
    1) start early Sunday morning, so you don't feel pressured and will
    be sure to finish in time for the ride with friends

    2) search for Owner's Manual; make a note to buy one later

    3) warm engine (not hot) and park bike over a big piece of cardboard
    (newspaper can substitute, you won't have time to read it anyway)

    4) position oil pan beneath crankcase of motorcycle

    5) remove oil filler cap and place on floor under the bike, where
    it can't fall off and roll under a cabinet

    6) try to loosen oil drain plug with your wrench which is closest to
    the correct size

    7) if your last service was done at a shop with a young, strong,
    apprentice mechanic, get a piece of pipe to put over the wrench
    handle for more leverage to break the plug loose

    8) borrow large vice-grips (locking pliers), apply to the now
    stripped oil drain plug and loosen until it can be turned by hand

    9) turn plug out slowly by hand until oil starts to seep out,...
    then turn it out as fast as you can to remove it before the hot oil
    becomes unbearable

    10) as quickly as possible, re-position oil pan under crankcase so
    the oil is no longer pouring out onto the floor

    11) try not to drip too much oil on floor walking to corner of garage
    to get rags and newspapers, wipe oil off hands

    12).... if necessary find some of your wife's old towels (more on
    this later) to mop up excess oil from garage floor

    13) Using an ordinary hammer and the minimum force necessary, pound
    your longest screwdriver through the oil filter to obtain the
    leverage required to break loose the overtightened filter threads
    (see reference to young technician, Step 7).

    14) remove oil filter, which will then remind you to re-position pan
    to receive the remainder of the oil; - IMPORTANT - check to make sure
    you didn't drive the screwdriver through the crankcase

    15) crank starter to scavenge the the last little bit of oil, trying
    not to knock over the bike in your haste to shut the engine off
    before permanent damage occurs

    16) remove, clean, and install the cap on your oil drain pan,... and
    clean up the mess on the floor

    17) go to buy replacement oil and filter, dumping your drain pan at a
    recycle facility on the way

    18) returning home, place a little oil on the filter gasket and
    install filter

    19) place funnel in oil filler hole and pour oil carefully into
    funnel, this will remind you that you haven't re-installed the oil
    drain plug.

    20) clean up mess with wife's old towels (more on this later), recall
    that you dropped drain plug into the drain pan due to the 'WARM' oil

    21) look in oil drain pan and shake vigorously until assured it does
    not contain drain plug

    22) go to recycle center to be assured the plug is not retrievable

    23) buy another quart of oil while you're out

    24) call friends and inform them of child's illness which prevents
    you from riding with them today

    25) after work on Monday (Tuesday if your bike dealer is closed on
    Monday) go to your bike dealer and buy new oil drain plug,... they
    always have an adequate supply stocked for just this reason

    26) while there, surreptitiously practice with a torque wrench to see
    what 18 Ft.Lbs. (24 Nautical Miles) feels like

    27) arriving home, install oil drain plug and tighten to
    approximately the feeling you remember from 26) above

    28) put in the specified quantity of oil, plus a little left-over in the can you
    tried to put in Sunday

    29) take short ride to warm engine and check for leaks and oil level

    30) at first stop sign, your foot slips off brake lever because your
    shoe and the side of the bike are covered with oil, you have forgotten
    to re-install the oil filler cap; go home slowly and clean everything up.

    31) look for oil filler cap; after carefully searching the garage, go
    out to trash can to search through oily papers and wife's old towels
    (more on this later), remember that trash was picked up this morning

    32) rush back to the dealer's shop hoping someone will still be there

    33) Tuesday (or Wednesday, as the case may be), go to bike shop after
    work again and buy your new oil filler cap,... they always have an
    adequate variety stocked for just this reason

    34) go home, install oil filler cap and start engine; ride bike for
    short distance

    35) pull into garage and check under bike for leaks, tighten oil
    filter and oil drain plug until seepage stops; DO NOT OVERTIGHTEN

    36) call friends and explain you can't go riding Sunday because you
    will be taking a cruise with your wife,... to appease her for ruining
    her family's heirloom towels

    Performance improves with practice, after 60 years experience I
    can now perform this work in as little as a dozen steps. Good luck!
  2. FatBob

    FatBob aka blinkerbob!

    Oct 23, 2006
    Coweta, OK
    Funny first post Gramps. :lol3
  3. ADVMindset

    ADVMindset Americana Adventurer

    Sep 6, 2004
    Between here and there...


    That was great !

  4. Jaynnus

    Jaynnus Adventurer

    Aug 17, 2009
  5. bomber60015

    bomber60015 tikkun olam

    Sep 11, 2008
    and herre I thought I was the onlyiest one . . . .thanks, T-bone!
  6. paulom

    paulom Adventurer

    Jul 10, 2011
    Seems like SOP :D
  7. Laconic

    Laconic Cognitively Privileged

    Sep 28, 2007
    In a Gilded Cage
    26) while there, surreptitiously practice with a torque wrench to see
    what 18 Ft.Lbs. (24 Nautical Miles) feels like

  8. Navin

    Navin Long timer

    Sep 22, 2009
    How do you manage to not walk across new carpeting with oil soaked shoes leaving big blotchy stains? :ear

    Well done! :lol3
  9. Flashmo

    Flashmo Whatever...

    Dec 21, 2008
    Vagabond Hippie
  10. LuciferMutt

    LuciferMutt Rides slow bike slow

    Aug 19, 2008
    New(er) Mexico
    That doesn't sound at all like what happened the first time I did a valve adjustment on my Ninja. Nope. No similarities AT ALL. :deal
  11. H96669

    H96669 A proud pragmatist.

    Nov 20, 2009
    Hiding off Hwy 6, B.C.

    I see you go to the shop for parts. BMW Airhead?? If so and if your bike did not come OEM with a gasket on the oil filter cover, DO NOT listen to the young(er) parts guy/mechanic saying IT HAS to have a gasket.:wink:

    If you do listen, against your better judgement and install such a gasket, your bike may just puke all its oil on the shop floor as soon as you start it. Then like me you may have to drive 80 Kms (43.1965 Nautical Miles) to go get more oil at the local inflated prices.:lol3

    Old smelly carpets under the bike and lots of cheap kitty litter handy.:rofl
  12. grandpa T-bone

    grandpa T-bone Vet - old Laconia RR

    Feb 4, 2013
    Healdsburg, CA, heart of windy, twisty m/c heaven!
    Yeah, it has been, Danny! Hope you and the Missus are happy, healthy and looking forward to DST on Mar 10th. Between time going faster and me being slower I don't seem to get much done before I forget what I was going to do anymore,... although I still manage to finish breakfast by noon. I'll see Tony soon to check-out Colleen's BMW 650 and I'll forward your suggestion. Cheers,... and don't get lost; donny :gerg