I feel like I am pulling teeth, is this normal?

Discussion in 'Trip Planning' started by Bunkka, Feb 21, 2014.

  1. Bunkka

    Bunkka n00b

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    I have been itching to get across the pond for a couple years now. I spent a few years in Wales when I was younger, and have fond memories of the countryside and castles in England.

    I want to go back, and I am even up for making some serious compromises to encourage friends or family to come along even for a portion of the trip. 2 wheels naturally limit participation but I am talking about providing a bike and subsidizing a portion of the travel cost!

    Anyways, the reason I am posting this at all is because I felt the need to ask you all this:

    For those of you who have traveled with others, did you have to be persistent to show you were serious? Or did it just end up making things worse? The last thing I want is to fly for 13 or 14 hours, pick up a couple bikes then end up dragging someone along for a couple weeks that isn't really into it rather than the two or three of us having a blast together.

    Is there a secret handshake that I don't know about?
    #1
  2. Nanuq

    Nanuq Aventurer by Trade

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    In my experience, people who make that kind of a commitment with time and finances are generally serious about investing into the experience. If you have a choice, choose companions that are easy going and like minded. A positive mental paradigm is imperative, skills and experience, I feel come second. Just my two cents. :D
    #2
  3. Mastery

    Mastery Mr. Funny Man

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    You shouldn't have to pressure anybody. Make the offer to those you are interested in bringing along; if they refuse, move on to the next person. I don't want to drag somebody along that isn't going to enjoy what I wanted to do.

    If you are providing a bike and subsidizing the trip, you'll get lots of people here that would be your best friend for those weeks.

    Around here, the secret handshake is a simple offer to the inmates that you are seeking some riding company. :D
    #3
  4. 29andSingle

    29andSingle Been here awhile

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    I just make my plans and let people know. If they jump at the chance to join then we tailor the plans to fit those committed. Anyone else is welcome to join along at last minute but they have to go along with what is already planned or do their own thing.

    Relying on others to commit will make you miss out on some great trips.
    #4
  5. wandering fool

    wandering fool A Man on a Bike

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    Agree with all the above. There is a fine line between getting someone excited and a little coercion, but there are too many people that would jump at the chance you are offering to waste time on those that don't have real excitement about a trip.
    #5
  6. High Country Herb

    High Country Herb Adventure Connoiseur

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    Heck, I'll go!

    Actually, I am planning a similar trip, and running into similar issues. I am planning a trip to see the Isle of Man race in 2015 with my wife, followed by a couple of weeks tooling around the UK. Four other friends have said they are on board for the race portion of the trip. Because it is such a big event, it requires lots of planning, and making reservations one year ahead of time.

    Every time I send out an update, they just reply with two words: "I'm in!"

    Are you serious? That's great, but do you want to camp? What type of bike are you reserving? Are we taking the red-eye flight the night before, or arriving a day early? "I'm in!" Great. :bluduh
    #6
  7. High Country Herb

    High Country Herb Adventure Connoiseur

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    ...oh yeah, I agree with the others about being careful who you invite. Don't invite a bunch of whiners, or you will spend your trip catering to their needs.

    You might also want to start talking about wanting to separate at times during the trip. If they want to sleep in until noon every day, they shouldn't be surprised if you are out doing stuff without them. Maybe they want to spend days wandering through museums, and you would rather ride out to a castle 20 miles away.

    State all that clearly ahead of time so nobody gets butt hurt.
    #7
  8. devo2002

    devo2002 -Devo

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    I agree someone putting up that kind of money is probably into it...the question I'd have is is that person/persons right to be travelling with for you! Are you a get up and get at first light type of guy and they are rolling out of the tent around 11am? I'd have a serious talk about how you want the vacation to go and what you are expecting, be a bit flexible since it's their trip as well, but have some things you can't budge on and make it known. travelling solo is always an option, you will meet great people over here.
    #8
  9. usgser

    usgser Long timer

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    Relying on others, theres always the possibility of disappointment. Why the need for friends and family on the trip? There's nice locals in the UK, you'll meet lots. IMHO group rides suck much more fun and flexible going solo. Sounds to me you're the questionable link in the plan.
    It's your trip, rough plan it and go do it.
    #9
  10. patmo

    patmo Been here awhile

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    Always very tough to coordinate a trip with others, probably the biggest reason we so so many world travelers are solo, or husband-wife teams. Even getting long term friends to agree on short trips can be a hassle at times. The longer and more extensive the trip the harder it becomes. There are many tour companies that serve the customer that wants to do a "group" trip, but can't get a group to go on their own. I've known people that have done this type of trip and found life long friends, any times having so much fun they make it an annual event. Might want to look into something like this, especially if you can only find one or two people that are serious about joining you. That way the tour company sets the itenerary and the only thing you have to decide is how you are going to get to where you need to be, when you have to be there. Everyone pays thier own way, so you're not stuck holding the bag when someone backs out at the last minute ( as often happens ).

    I personally wouldn't rely on any of my brothers to follow through on a commitment like the one you describe....unless I said I would also take care of their beer bill, that is.....:D
    #10
  11. Bunkka

    Bunkka n00b

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    Altogether, some very solid points. Very reassuring.

    Solo vs. Group is a thing that I could take either way. I am pretty solid by myself when traveling. Going camping for a 3 day weekend with everything I need in a single backpack with no cooler or anything like that is fine with me. At the same time, though, I can really enjoy close friends and family sharing the incredible, and sometimes indescribable, experience of travel.

    To be honest, I was more confused than anything else. It seemed like I was the only person around that didn't have, or couldn't find, a travel companion. I shower daily, and use soap too!!


    I hear you. I was worried that I was trying to talk people into something they didn't really want to do. It is odd, though, since I would frame the trip as a general idea, kind of a "what if" and let them fill in the blanks. IF their ideas loosely fit mine, AND they seemed enthusiastic about it, I would ask if they were interested in actually going on the trip. I had even talked to one friend that has never been on two wheels. Gave him the idea that I would just ride a small portion of the trip, like when he said he wanted to go to Moscow, and I felt it would take too much of the trip to just get there and back.

    This made me literally laugh out loud. There is a guy I work with that I ride trails with a lot. He is currently the only person that I think is likely to actually go. His response was almost exactly the same, "I'm in!", from my response which was almost exactly the same as yours!

    Cracks me up, especially since I am surprised to hear any solid response about seeing a movie or meeting for drinks, and the idea of an expensive and pretty complicated trip could be answered so solidly, so quickly.

    I have heard it several times before, if you think that you are surrounded by a-holes, it is more likely that you are the a-hole. In this case, it has crossed my mind, and I may, in fact, be just coming across the wrong way about it, but I am really trying to come across as no-pressure, easy like Sunday morning. To be honest, I have traveled a decent amount on my own. Been to most states in the US, and, like I said, been across the pond for a little while. To me it is something amazing that I want others to experience. There are some people that I work with that have never been on a plane! Or left the state!! I don't say that to be mean, but I always think about how different my perspective would be if I hadn't spoken to someone who spoke another language or saw something that existed before my nation was "born".

    There I times where I feel like I just need to give them the first hit for free to get them hooked:wink:
    #11
  12. FotoTEX

    FotoTEX Long timer

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    Go alone. No one to drag down your dream ride.
    #12
  13. oldmanb777

    oldmanb777 Just say NO to socialism!

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    Really tough to get two or more riders on the same page. riders tend to be very individual in their thinking, and as such often don't play well together. Especially for a long period of time. Almost like being married. I usually just post up my plans to people who I hope are compatible. hopefully No more than 4 for an extended trip. When they commit, then the "real" planning begins. Some will want to experience things that others don't, that's normal, but all must be flexible. So all get to see and experience what they came for. I have often passed up things I wanted to see, because I was the only one who wanted to see it. Always thinking I would get back there, and never did. You also need your own space at times. Good luck.
    #13
  14. eakins

    eakins Butler Maps

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    most people will talk of a love of traveling and yet fear leaving the comforts of their surroundings. i've found Americans, in particular, are poorly traveled and educated of what is out their in the world.

    if someone is serious they will make the moves to join you. if not, don't push it. move forward with your life and do it yourself & low an behold you'll meet other people out there who have the same desires to see things as you. that's the secret to a happy life and meeting people of like minds.
    #14
  15. TheNorthernMonkey

    TheNorthernMonkey Clueless n00b

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    Give me a shout when you're over here, and Ill head out for a couple of days.

    Don't drag people along who arent feeling the love for your plan.
    #15
  16. achtung3

    achtung3 Long timer

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    My two cents worth of personal experience!

    I will go with my brothers or I go alone.

    Have a great ride.
    #16
  17. St_rydr

    St_rydr Strider

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    I have meet one or two guys over my lifetime that have the dedication to prepare and plan enough to get a structured ride together and do it over seas.
    That being said what you want to see may not be the groups ride or ideas or vice versa. I would plan it and have an alternative to succeed either way.
    #17
  18. willys

    willys Long timer

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    Never invite anyone you personally do not know imho. I have done it 3 years now and every time it turned sour! I will never invite anyone who I haven't camped with and find out they fit into my type of schedule......to each their own. but if you have a desitination or goal or even a daily want to do list type of thing perculating in your head, make damned sure whoever it is you invite is signed up for that thought process. If you do not hit it off, it will ruin your trip if you can't shake them loose or you can leave them on the side of the road and continue on. Never a good thing, but we have done just that also to keep the sanity of the trip.
    Your trip, your $$$$, your time. and in the end your decission to make. I am riding solo this season because my usual group aren't available this summer for a long ride.....and I will NOT ask a newbie to join me...I HAVE learned my lesson.
    I am off to England in 2 days for a 3 week stay with relatives.....no riding, too cold....I expect......but IF I can borrow a bike and it's warm enough, just maybe......Hmmmm....Never thought of that....lol
    :evil:freaky
    #18
  19. Bodwick

    Bodwick Odd Bod

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    The weather rotates between bright sunny days and windy rainy spells. It's been a very mild winter, very wet with lots of rain in places. We love talking about the weather...:evil

    Have fun...


    To the op...

    You need to draft out a plan and sit down to figure out what's expected of your trip by the others. What do they want to see and do and does that tie in with your plan. Are your idea's of a trip compatible?

    If you can't agree on what to do and what to see at what rate then forget it.

    Try a weekend at home first. See if you ride the same way...

    :freaky
    #19