Moto-writer Peter Egan recently addressed this topic, and this is not meant to copy him, but to share my own experiences and to hopefully hear from others. The art of the quick, and low mess, oil change is based on planning and preparation. Today, there was a good bit of rain in the forecast so I thought it would be a good day for a needed oil change on my Suzuki Bandit. I thought I'd see if I could do an oil and clean-up in 30 - 45 minutes. They tell me it can be done! First I needed to do a quick clean of my bike. During a break in the weather I rode to the local spray wash at around 12:30pm - Just a light wash to wash off the winter road grime. Then, I went to a local moto store that is open on Sundays. Picked up some nitrile gloves to do the oil change. I told the guy at the store I needed some rubber shop gloves and he brought them from the back. He said they were the latest and greatest in shop gloves. I had previously purchased oil, filter and crush washers, so I should have everything I need. Last year I purchased a home style, manual foot-pump hydraulic bike lift that was very reasonable and has a small footprint. I've been very happy with it and it lifts the bike up to make it much easier to work on. I also consider it a key part of the being prepared for the art of the quick oil change. By the time I got home from the wash and the store, it was now around 1:45. So, time to get to work. Since I've already invested 1 hour and 15 minutes, plus the previous trip to get oil and filter, I figured I better just count the time from the time I rolled the bike back into the garage. I was getting excited - totally prepared, with all the right tools, and supplies. Ready to quickly do the job! I needed some help getting my bike on the lift - it's not a smart one man job with street bikes. I went to find one of my sons and he came to help. First we had to take a friend's dirt bike off the lift and move some bikes around. We got the Bandit up and secured. So, now, here we are ready to go. I opened the new box of Nitrile gloves. Wow, these are cool (first time I've used nitrile). They are made with grip and says they won't tear easily and will let my hands breath. Dang! These don't fit! They are small enough for a child. I notice on the outside of the package - Adult medium. The felt more like Adult small. I couldn't even get them on my hands. Bummer! I should have checked the size. I go find my son again. Do we have any of our regular latex gloves? Nope. Hmmmm - do the job without gloves? Naw - I need some anyway. Back to the store to get some gloves that fit. So, now it's somewhere around 2:30. But, I'm ready to practice the Art of the quick, low mess oil change. Put on my new gloves, take the needed tools out and go to get our oil collection pan. It's one of those new ones that collect the oil and you close it up and keep a few oil changes in it. Well, it's full. My son, who uses it a lot, didn't dispose of it when he last used it. I go looking for our 5 gallon gas can that is used for old oil. It's full also. So, I have to take it to the place where we take used oil. So, now I'm back and ready to go again. I have the oil, the filter, the tools and now the oil collection pan is empty. Ready to go! Wait a minute! The oil collection pan will not fit under the Bandits exhausts on the bottom of the bike. Oh yeah, now I remember this from last oil change. We have a flat old fashioned oil collection pan someplace that fits under the Bandit. I go looking for it in the garage and a storage shed for several minutes. Can't find it. I go get my son, he shows me where it is. Right under my nose. So, now I'm ready to really get started. I put the thinner pan under the bike and loosen up the oil drain bolt. Some oil dribbles down the bike and out past the oil collection pan onto the lift and the floor! I try to move the oil pan and step in the oil on the floor. Ugh! Can this ever be done without getting oil everywhere? Thankfully, most of the oil goes into the oil collection pan. Now it's time to tackle the oil filter. It's a screw on type, kind of like a car. Seems like we have one of those oil filter remover thingymajigs. Can't find it anywhere. So I just go with large channel lock pliers. It has a hard time fitting in the space around the oil filter. I'm able to barely move the thing - only a few mm's at a time - slow process. After a few tries, I've totally buggered up the oil filter. That's ok, I'm not going to use it again. Finally it starts to feel loose and I can reach up with my hand and finish loosening. Oil runs everywhere - down my arm, over the exhaust pipes and oh crap, I don't have the oil catch pan far enough. It barely reaches under the oil filter and the still dribbling oil drain hole. Now, I've got oil on me, my gloves, all over the pipes and bottom of the bike and more oil on the bike lift. I'm so proud that at least I didn't drop the filter into the oil collection pan this time! :) Before I get started putting the new filter on, I've got to clean up some. Wiping oil off my arm, new gloves etc. I put on the new filter and then go to put on the oil drain plug. Oh yeah, the crush washer! This one has already been used on both sides. But, that's ok I bought a pack of them last time and I know just where I keep crush washers (we have some dirtbikes also). I have two sizes and neither one fits correctly! What, where are the Bandit's crush washers I bought last time? Damn it!! Of to the cycle store again, for the 3rd time today! They just laugh when I return to the store. I take a detour on the way home to buy some donuts as a peace offering for my son. "Hell hath no fury like a man who can't find his tools!" I've been giving my son hell today. But, I'm blessed really. He's in high school and has a passion for mechanical things. Has several projects going on in the garage (motorcycles, jet ski, neighbors lawn mower etc.). I'm proud of him. Back home again, I put on the oil drain bolt with new crush washer and fill the bike up with oil. Now it's time to run the bike and let the oil settle to see if I need anymore. I go find someone to help me get the bike off the lift. I let it run a few minutes then let it rest for a few minutes. It needed a little more oil. Checked for leaks - looked like it was leaking some, but I determined it was just extra oil from taking off the oil filter the first time. Whew - good. While the bike is out, it looks like the chain is pretty loose. I check it and it is. Decide to tighten the chain. 5 minutes right. Won't add much to my overall time. Some of the tools aren't as easy to find as they should be. Finally find them and loosen the axel. I adjust the adjustment screws and leave the chain a little loose because it always tightens up as I tighten the axle. It's kind of a guessing game. I tighten the axle and the chain gets way too tight. So, I loosen it again and loosen up the Adjustment screws some. i tighten back the axle and now the chain is too loose. The 3rd or 4th time I guess right and get the chain tension into spec. This 5 minute job must have taken another several minutes. Alright - Oil change complete. Not so fast, I've got a good bit of clean up to do. Trash and Oil everywhere. What a mess! Go to work with a trash bag and degreaser. The bottom of my shoes have oil residue and I use degreaser and a brush on them. While I'm at it I decide to take a few minutes and sweep and reorganize part of the garage. Oh yeah, I also have to write down the date and mileage of this oil change in my manual. Where is my shop pen? Gotta go find a pen! So, now I'm finished. I go back into the house with that sense of pride of a job complete. I've washed the bike, changed the oil, adjusted the chain and did a little reorganizing and sweeping. I started the whole process at 12:30 and now it's 7:05! (Thank goodness I had already purchased the oil and filter!) :) Do simple jobs on a motorcycle take longer than they are supposed to take for anyone else here?