Insert clever airhead based title here ....

Discussion in 'Airheads' started by planktonnn, Aug 25, 2009.

?

I have been to the county of Fuckshire, it was ...

  1. Nice?

    31 vote(s)
    13.3%
  2. Nasty?

    33 vote(s)
    14.2%
  3. Nasty but nice?

    169 vote(s)
    72.5%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    Via Jose M Marzuelo
  2. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    "Pictures taken at Silverstone this weekend have uncovered that Red Bull have adopted or are at least testing an exhaust chamber. Also known as a Helmholz exhaust, the regular exhaust pipe features a blind additional branch which can accumulate exhaust gases when pressure is high in the exhaust pipe. It can then release those gases again when the driver gets off the throttle, hence evening out the pressure differences that occur in the exhaust pipe."

    [​IMG]
    http://www.f1technical.net/development/369
  3. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  4. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  5. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  6. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    In correspondence with a dear friend who lives in the middle of a castle in south eastern France, little but a tin tacs throw north of yesterdays spiked stage of Le Tour, it appeared to me that the subject tangentially arose of how Elton John seemingly has balls in his mouth rather than a tongue. I was therefore occasioned to mention the time I threw coffee over him...

    "Ah well, somewhen in late '91/early '92 I was schmoozing with various music business types at a Covent Garden nightclub via Xxxxx Xxxx Xxxx & their manager Xxxxxx. At some point we were graced with the arrival of Sir Reg & retinue, and a while later the man with the xxxx arrived to set out his lines in the toilets downstairs where everybody disappeared to form an orderly if agitated queue. Her Majesty The Dwight was left broadly unattended and I was not a partaker of the Vim*, and after a while he attempted to imperiously order me to get him a coffee. As is fit & right I wasn't best pleased at being ordered about by this tirelessly talentless twat so got said coffee and duly returned to throw it at him, closely followed by a tirade of expletives. Saturday Night was indeed allreet for Fighting...

    Musially I can only credit him for sections of the bass line on a track which I am told is by him?, and then only for its efficacy within its limited idiom, and even then only for the bit they originally used on the end of pre Clarkson 'Top Gear' - about 8 bars?, and even even then if I'd have known it was related to him I'd likely not have grown fond.

    <iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/oibftmSHrbU" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe>
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=oibftmSHrbU

    It so happened that by bad chance I was in proximity to do such a thing, and though it might by some be thought more apposite to suck it up & bend it on over there is of course something already in me barring his way, and that is a great big bung in my ass called doing the right thing though it may not be in my best interests as some may consider them to have been at that time. But a rage & indignation made me do it, and I can't say there's been a moment during which I've thought I should have that night acted any other way."

    *
    [​IMG]
  7. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  8. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  9. pjcr12

    pjcr12 Stercus accidit

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    .......speaking of inlet tracts (waddya mean speaking of inlet tracts?) have you seen the length of this one? Eh?
    It's not only exceptionally long, it's also somewhat convoluted. Lovely word, convoluted...c-o-n-v-o-l-u-t-e-d........
  10. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  11. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  12. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  13. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  14. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  15. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  16. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

    Sir: I got your letter, and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jordon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this, for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Colonel Martin's to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again, and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me that Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

    I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here. I get twenty-five dollars a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy,—the folks call her Mrs. Anderson,—and the children—Milly, Jane, and Grundy—go to school and are learning well. The teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday school, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated. Sometimes we overhear others saying, "Them colored people were slaves" down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks; but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Colonel Anderson. Many darkeys would have been proud, as I used to be, to call you master. Now if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

    As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost-Marshal-General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you were disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years, and Mandy twenty years. At twenty-five dollars a month for me, and two dollars a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to eleven thousand six hundred and eighty dollars. Add to this the interest for the time our wages have been kept back, and deduct what you paid for our clothing, and three doctor's visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams's Express, in care of V. Winters, Esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past, we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night; but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

    In answering this letter, please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up, and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve - and die, if it come to that - than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood. The great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

    Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

    From your old servant,

    Jordon Anderson

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2174410/Pictured-The-freed-slave-moving-letter-old-master-asked-work-farm.html
  17. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  18. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  19. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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  20. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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