Insert clever airhead based title here ....

Discussion in 'Airheads' started by planktonnn, Aug 25, 2009.

?

I have been to the county of Fuckshire, it was ...

  1. Nice?

    33 vote(s)
    13.7%
  2. Nasty?

    36 vote(s)
    14.9%
  3. Nasty but nice?

    173 vote(s)
    71.8%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. pjcr12

    pjcr12 Stercus accidit

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    Tsk, tsk...tsk planktonnn! Are you still trying to shift that bulk load of modified ski-jet cum space scooters? You know they only go so far as low-earth orbit before exploding in a shower of sparks and burning up on re-entry. Well, mine did, and you still owe me my refund. Don't buy one bloo.....ok? Anyway, apropos automatic motorcycles...I once had a chat with a bloke at Mad Dave's, who turned up with a Hondamatic 400 for an MOT, and he thought they were great, but then I suppose he would, considering he had two of the things. Can't see the point of them myself. However....I've often considered the possibilities of a small automatic diesel engine in a bike. Diesel engines are always a bit problematic in bikes, but I thought an automatic would get around the gear-shifting problems, and would be a talking point at bike meets, but I never go to bike meets, so it's all a bit academic. Just thought I'd mention it, as I was passing....
  2. Bloo

    Bloo Jack Russel Dodger

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    I went down Saturday but it was low side and I was going maybe ten miles per hour which makes it all the more embarrasing. I was turning left from a stop sign in my neighborhood and went wide on the turn to avoid some gravel that suddenly appeared. I went too wide and went onto the shoulder which is very wet clay as it has been raining. I was doing about 20 then.

    I got off the gas and just let it decelerate on its own. I didn't want to try to get back on the road proper as it is a bit of a step up from the shoulder and the ground was slick. I figured I would just slow to a stop and then get the bike back on the road taking a more perpendicular angle. Anyway, I got down to about 10 mph and the shoulder got a bit of an incline to it downward away from the road. I couldn,t keep any traction on the front wheel and I went down. The whole thing should not have happened. I wasn't being careful and I should not have let myself get off the paved road while riding the RS. I am fine, the bike is fine as it landed on the left valve cover in soft clay and skidded maybe half a foot. Fairing never touched the ground.

    Lesson learned that I need to keep in the moment until I get the bike stopped. You guys would have every right to banish me having made such a stupid mistake. What sucks is that I did hit my head on the street and cracked my fuckin helmet. Small little stress crack. So now I am having to save up for a new one and will not be able to ride till I get enough cash together. Serves me right I guess.
  3. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    Cum scooters? Mmmm, that sounds nice :lol3

    Anyway, I've been feeling a bit down that you don't currently have a bike so I took the liberty of picking one up for you. Some assembly required -

    Attached Files:

  4. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    I don't know what it's like over there but over here statistics tend to show that most accidents happen close to home, either at the start or end of journeys, as it seems as if people switch off a bit when on familiar territory? Who knows.

    We'd all be liars if we said we never crashed in such circumstances. The fastest spill I've had must have been somewhere above 70mph, the slowest was at exactly 0mph. Still at least there's minimum carnage & cost, except for the helmet. See, if you lived in a helmet free state you wouldn't be facing this problem... :D Send us the old lid & we can put it on the wall of shame -

    Attached Files:

  5. pjcr12

    pjcr12 Stercus accidit

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    Nice thought on the self-assembly airhead planktonium, but can I have one with the sidecar on the correct side for blighty-riding? Don't want to seem picky, but you know...

    Also, bloo, the most important point about dropping your bike is this...did anyone see you do it? If not, it doesn't count. Also, a cracked lid at least means a not-cracked skull which, let me tell you, is no fun. Those low-speed falls are a real bitch aren't they? Make you feel like a real idiot, but once that front wheel starts to slide there's not much can be done about it and, anyway, the real issue is this - did you haul the bike up and remount with panache and poise as if nothing happened? That's the most important thing.
  6. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    Theres just no satisfying you is there :D Look, just gloo it on the other side, register it as a mobility scooter & you'll be virtually untouchable by the Old Bill. See, I got the plans, you need a plan? come to me, I got them.

    He's quite right you know, that's what really matters, however I do like to overact the 'oh what a jolly wheeze ha ha I fell off' body language just in case there's a spectator I don't spot, and as I've said I always throw myself under the bike as it goes down & that helps to hide your identity a little...

    Anyway Bloo, I've attached a helmet repair kit below, just print it out & gloo over the effected area & it'll be fine for another decade or so -

    Attached Files:

  7. Bloo

    Bloo Jack Russel Dodger

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    And that person was my wife. She has been making fun of me so I don't think it scared her too much. Thanks very much for the repair kit. I was going to mount my lid to the wall as I think this is some sort of right of passage. I have fucked up my first lid in a crash so I am now at least a junior member of the fraternity and not a complete noob.

    I wish the helmet looked a little more banged up though. At least then I could tell people a cool story like *I kissed it running from the cops or something. Thanks very much for the encouragement. I might try and post a picture of the bruise on my ass as it is pretty big(both my ass and the bruise) and looks very much like something John Wayne would have gotten falling off a horse during a gun fight. In any event it makes me feel manly and thats what matters. BTW I got back on the bike like I had been practicing how to properly fall off a bike.

    * " Kissed it " over here, and especially in the south, means crashed, fell down, fucked up, ran into a wall...etc.
  8. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    DBD, I see the Bezumph is @ Anglsey again this year on 29th/30th July, I'll avoid the obvious down hill left hander references, & just say that were such a thing possible I'd be very interested in taking the DWM there this year if there's any space in your wagon train?
  9. pjcr12

    pjcr12 Stercus accidit

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    "Mobility scooter...."

    That reminds me...a couple of days ago I saw a cop giving a bloke sitting in a mobility scooter a ticket....serves him right, they're a real menace those OAP's, they're usually on drugs of some kind.

    Bloo...it's ok if it was just your wife who saw you falling off, they don't count either.
  10. Lornce

    Lornce Lost In Place

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    <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9U4Ha9HQvMo?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9U4Ha9HQvMo?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>
  11. Dirtyboydeadly

    Dirtyboydeadly AKA. Shineyboydudley

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    We will see. Mad one eye'd dave is taking his cafe racer so could be 3 air heads going round and round and round and fall off :muutt:muutt
  12. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    Living in the woods...

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  13. pjcr12

    pjcr12 Stercus accidit

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    Is that a past photo (I recognise the landscape) or are you on a historical re-enactment vibe-stylee kind of thing? If so....hope it's a get-back-to-nature exercise, and not a synaptic mindstorm scenario? Not that I don't think you blend quite well in the great outdoors, it's just that you may well lose your ass in the prevailing sub-zero situational actuality....in any case, have you bought me a birthday present? I only ask because I'm self-obsessed and get a bit moody whenever I become 55. Only 25 hours and 53 minutes to go, and then numerologically-speaking, I'll add up to 1 which, as we all know, means something or other.....I forget what, exactly, but I used to know, which is the important thing. In other news, I have an enforced sit-down with the trick-cyclist coming up, due to my wilfull disobedience relative to acting normal and submitting to the happiness directive. I think they want to fuck about with my brain chemistry again, vis-a-vis soft metals. That's the last time I'll ever try and discuss the confluence of North-African politics and the Frankfurt School Paradigm with my good-lady Doctor, I can tell you. She grassed me up, and no mistake. Still, it gives me the opportunity to question the Standard Psychiatric Model which, as you know, is a favourite topic of mine, especially in relation to Airhead cubic displacement* between the years 1968 and '76.

    See? This post is relevant after all.
  14. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    It's a past pic, which was taken on the third day in the woods. For what it's worth I can tell you that my sleeping bag was drying on the bench behind me, and I had yet to put up the new cheapo tent, on the right of the bike. Or left from the obverse view -

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  15. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    The shed bed predated all the wood stuff though -

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  16. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    This is where the STD1 currently lives -

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  17. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    What do you see? -

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  18. crazydrummerdude

    crazydrummerdude Wacky Bongo Boy

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    A giant baby walking in two directions at the same time at the base of a rocket lift-off.
  19. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    Ah well not exactly, I don't really do birthdays. Sorry. I think the only time I ever got you anything was by coincidence, and that was a 99p plastic vernier guage. Might I suggest you blow up the attached pic of a better vernier before glooing it on the one I provided, so it looks like I got you a new one? I will expect a thankyou letter.

    Ah, forgetting. I delight in it.

    So true, one must be compliant & get better, or at least less in crisis & going away. As an analogue I once observed amonst some Diffability Arts Workers the inclination to go that bit further for the 'nice, convenient or lovable diffability' clients, as though 'difficult' wasn't part of the other clients presented 'illness', or made them intrinsically less deserving? Is it easier to 'help' a pleasant compliant 'cripple' that knows their place?

    I might imagine relevant professionals prefer to hear about (& can process) emotional reactions 'to...', rather than the triggers thereof? Besides, we know they're all madder than the maddest no?

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  20. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    Good gah, I don't know where you get that, or if you're simply making a sideways reference to my character :D

    I think we should start you on the easier stuff -

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