Insert clever airhead based title here ....

Discussion in 'Airheads' started by planktonnn, Aug 25, 2009.

?

I have been to the county of Fuckshire, it was ...

  1. Nice?

    33 vote(s)
    13.6%
  2. Nasty?

    36 vote(s)
    14.9%
  3. Nasty but nice?

    174 vote(s)
    71.9%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Lornce

    Lornce Lost In Place

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    <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0f6N0ypfJoU?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0f6N0ypfJoU?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>
  2. pjcr12

    pjcr12 Stercus accidit

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    Nice video intervention there, Lornce, I'm going to take it as a birthday present. Cash would have been better, but at least the thought was there.
    planktonnn, re the plastic vernier scale, I just popped out to the shed and used it to measure the length, breadth and depth of a 6" piece of 2x4 and guess what? Yes, it's still accurate. It's the gift that just keeps on giving, and I'll treasure it for all time.

    Busy day today; just had a nap to get over a 10am shock to the system, in the form of a compulsory interview with a local charity, who make money out of people like me by questioning our demonic possession and determining our suitability for the job market, on behalf of the government. Apparently, and I didn't know this, I have been graded (through a points system) to fall within the bracket 'crazy but employable'.....in order to get my own back, I subjected the interviewer to an hour-long monologue on the subterfuge of the christian-communism that underlies the fake duality of the polarised-political black magic spell that is, even as we speak, consolidating a population reduction and cash-poisoning programme for the Masonic/Luciferian/Guelffian* conspiracy. We more or less agreed that they (the charity) would leave me the fuck alone, so long as I set myself up as a self-employed horticultural machinery renovator. It's a funny old world at times, but you just got to either go with the flow or, as in my case, turn your own taps on and create a river of reality to suit your situation in life.

    The more astute ADV'er's reading this thread would be justified in saying -
    "but, I thought you and planktonnn had invented a virtual corporation called Martha Farquar International...why have you branched out on your own with an equally-ficticious horticultural machinery outfit? Well, I was up against the wall, wasn't I? I had to think of something quick, and I didn't want the government finding out about the fake/real airhead 'business', especially as I had invented a cover story of being a wandering shepherd for most of the last ten years, to account for a large gap in my 'employment' history.

    Creating, and operating on, several levels of 'reality' at the same time gets a bit complicated, and I went 'underground' and very much 'off the grid' from 2001 onwards in an attempt to shake off the Masonic/Luciferian/Guelffian conspiracy (see above), but I ran out of cash, and had to re-emerge into 3D normality instead of the multidimensional construct I had woven out of superstring theory and quark-based fluids deep in the heart of Exmoor. Also, I didn't want to inadvertently drop planktonnn in the shit nor, for that matter, let the STD1 be impounded for back-taxes and evidence of living an unlicenced life without official approval. It's a lonely life, being a renegade outlaw old-stoner, but someone's got to do it, and at least I get the satisfaction that, by manipulating space-time mentation, I'm doing my bit for humanity. Also, planktonnn doesn't know it yet, but I think he'll quite like renovating imaginary lawn mowers.........

    *Don't ask,it's secret.

    Here's a list of steering head bearing kits, for purposes of topicality

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  3. Lornce

    Lornce Lost In Place

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    :rofl

    The thread that keeps on giving...


    :lol3
  4. Bloo

    Bloo Jack Russel Dodger

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    Looks like the progeny of a Harley and a butterfly. Also, would it be heresy to paint a monolever RS metallic Gold?
  5. pjcr12

    pjcr12 Stercus accidit

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    Excellent choice Bloo...and it's the trendy colour for this season, so I say go for it. By the way, it would only be heresy if it were real gold flake which, as a matter of course, you should always send to MarFar HQ for safekeeping.
  6. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    And it goes like this -

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  7. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    I've been playing with 2009 world economics -

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  8. pjcr12

    pjcr12 Stercus accidit

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    Ok, planktonnn, re the 'electronic music flowchart', I don't see an arrow for you writing a hit album, getting a big deal and letting me organise your 'never-ending world tour' as your chief roadie. Why is that?

    Also, on the Billion Dollar chart, can I have the $6B spent on erectile dysfunction, to be going on with? If not, how about a share on the war on drugs cashflow? Huh?

    Alternatively, how d'you fancy a weekend in Cairo? When I saw those people sic off those armed police on the bridge, I couldn't help punching the air and shouting with incoherent joy....dunno what came over me, but it felt good. Have I caught idealism? What pill do I take for that? Eh?

    Fuck it...I'm going back on herbs, being straight don't agree with me. I may even buy a motorcycle. D'you know a good forum I could post stuff on?
  9. pjcr12

    pjcr12 Stercus accidit

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    I'd just like to point out that we went past the 66,666 views and the world did not end.....this won't mean much to ordinary folk (god bless 'em) but to those on the Martha Farquar vibe, I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief, I know I did. Phew.
  10. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    Oh dear sweet innocent pjcr1967, I'm afraid a number 1 in Benelux was about as far as I could stretch that particular career path, and that was thru airplay rather than sales so it didn't even count on the cashflow side of things. The furthest any of the acts I played with got in the national charts was around number 39, for one week*. But, I did get to throw a cup of coffee over Elton John, so at least it wasn't all a complete & utter futile & vain waste of time, energy and destroyer of any chance of a decent future... Catch the link above, I thought I might go ask for a job in... Er... Something.

    Rawk'n'roll was, as you're fully aware, was one of the great escape routes for a general prole in the 70's & 80's. Fottsoccerball, boxing, the pools, being a mercenary, general gangsterism & white collar crime being amongst the others. None of the above careers went very well. I was never, as they are so anxious to say these days, blessed. The thing I most enjoyed doing was animation soundtracks, were we won a Royal College of Art** Gong. It depends though, if the 'Director' (Jimothy Bufton-Tufton, age 21) wants a 'door opens' sound to be the sound of a door opening then it could get a bit glum, but when you're allowed to be a bit lateral there's nothing I've enjoyed more.

    Sorry that all went direct to Pele. Also, due to high promo costs the treatment now consists of a pencil & rubber bands. Sorry Guys, Gals, Guy/Gals & Gal/Guys & Androgenes.

    I don't know, this whole Mid East regime dominos thing seems a bit of a soft war set up to me... I know it must be something past a decade back but didn't you treat yourself to an Egyptian journey once? See, even all these years later whatever little rebellious seed you managed to plant*** has come to bloom at last.

    Might I suggest www.bollockstothis.com which coincidently includes some motorcycling content, and the blowing of pistons.

    Sorry to disappoint but, once again it's the poll votes that hold the fate of we poor 'Slightlymorethananape'-kind in its purview. When we get 106 votes is when it'll all go Phatoowy on our asses.


    * We'll ignore the vague Right Said Fred connection as I played with their manager the delightful Tamzin rather than the boys themselves :rofl
    ** Full CV on request :lol3
    *** Not with Funtime Fatima Farquar, that doesn't count.


    PS. I recently updated the clock & fairing inner areas on STD1 to include all the factory options. Please memorise fully before attempting to ride it -

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  11. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    Just wanted to make it clear that there's nothing I've enjoyed more than animation sountracks, EXCEPT fuckin & motorsickles, obvioiusly.
  12. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    The 1st MOTOGP test* at Sepang in Malaysia has come to an end with Marco 'allergic to haircuts' Simoncelli on top, though I wonder if this is because he's been cutting the corners a bit? -



    * Unfortunately vids on the official MGP/Dorna/FIM site require subscription :-(

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  13. Dirtyboydeadly

    Dirtyboydeadly AKA. Shineyboydudley

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    Should be interesting
  14. Dirtyboydeadly

    Dirtyboydeadly AKA. Shineyboydudley

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    MotoGP Sepang Test, Malaysia

    Session 3 as of 18:00 - 03/02/11

    <table class="race-results"><thead><tr><th class="col-pos">Pos</th><th class="tt-col-rider">Rider</th><th class="col-team">Team</th><th class="time">Fastest lap</th><th class="time">Prev. Gap</th><th class="time">Lead. Gap</th><th class="timeGap">Laps</th> </tr></thead> <tbody> <tr class="odd"><td>1</td><td>Marco Simoncelli</td><td>San Carlo Honda Gresini</td><td class="time">2:00.757</td><td class="time">-</td><td class="time">-</td><td class="timeGap">42</td> </tr> <tr class="even"><td>2</td><td>Casey Stoner</td><td>Repsol Honda Team</td><td class="time">2:00.811</td><td class="time">+0.054</td><td class="time">+0.054</td><td class="timeGap">42</td> </tr> <tr class="odd"><td>3</td><td>Jorge Lorenzo</td><td>Yamaha Factory Racing</td><td class="time">2:00.845</td><td class="time">+0.034</td><td class="time">+0.088</td><td class="timeGap">46</td> </tr> <tr class="even"><td>4</td><td>Andrea Dovizioso</td><td>Repsol Honda Team</td><td class="time">2:00.945</td><td class="time">+0.100</td><td class="time">+0.188</td><td class="timeGap">51</td> </tr> <tr class="odd"><td>5</td><td>Ben Spies</td><td>Yamaha Factory Racing</td><td class="time">2:01.002</td><td class="time">+0.057</td><td class="time">+0.245</td><td class="timeGap">60</td> </tr> <tr class="even"><td>6</td><td>Dani Pedrosa</td><td>Repsol Honda Team</td><td class="time">2:01.241</td><td class="time">+0.239</td><td class="time">+0.484</td><td class="timeGap">44</td> </tr> <tr class="odd"><td>7</td><td>Hiroshi Aoyama</td><td>San Carlo Honda Gresini</td><td class="time">2:01.353</td><td class="time">+0.112</td><td class="time">+0.596</td><td class="timeGap">63</td> </tr> <tr class="even"><td>8</td><td>Nicky Hayden</td><td>Ducati Marlboro Team</td><td class="time">2:01.534</td><td class="time">+0.181</td><td class="time">+0.777</td><td class="timeGap">60</td> </tr> <tr class="odd"><td>9</td><td>Colin Edwards</td><td>Monster Yamaha Tech 3</td><td class="time">2:01.651</td><td class="time">+0.117</td><td class="time">+0.894</td><td class="timeGap">32</td> </tr> <tr class="even"><td>10</td><td>Valentino Rossi</td><td>Ducati Marlboro Team</td><td class="time">2:01.842</td><td class="time">+0.191</td><td class="time">+1.085</td><td class="timeGap">52</td> </tr> <tr class="odd"><td>11</td><td>Hector Barbera</td><td>Mapfre Aspar Team</td><td class="time">2:02.030</td><td class="time">+0.188</td><td class="time">+1.273</td><td class="timeGap">42</td> </tr> <tr class="even"><td>12</td><td>Loris Capirossi</td><td>Pramac Racing Team</td><td class="time">2:02.057</td><td class="time">+0.027</td><td class="time">+1.300</td><td class="timeGap">48</td> </tr> <tr class="odd"><td>13</td><td>Randy De Puniet</td><td>Pramac Racing Team</td><td class="time">2:02.159</td><td class="time">+0.102</td><td class="time">+1.402</td><td class="timeGap">57</td> </tr> <tr class="even"><td>14</td><td>Karel Abraham</td><td>Cardion AB Motoracing</td><td class="time">2:02.645</td><td class="time">+0.486</td><td class="time">+1.888</td><td class="timeGap">29</td> </tr> <tr class="odd"><td>15</td><td>Cal Crutchlow</td><td>Monster Yamaha Tech 3</td><td class="time">2:02.717</td><td class="time">+0.072</td><td class="time">+1.960</td><td class="timeGap">44</td> </tr> <tr class="even"><td>16</td><td>Toni Elias</td><td>LCR Honda MotoGP</td><td class="time">2:02.916</td><td class="time">+0.199</td><td class="time">+2.159</td><td class="timeGap">55</td> </tr> <tr class="odd"><td>17</td><td>T1</td><td>Yamaha Test Team</td><td class="time">2:02.965</td><td class="time">+0.049</td><td class="time">+2.208</td><td class="timeGap">41</td> </tr> <tr class="even"><td>18</td><td>Kousuke Akiyoshi</td><td>HRC Test Team</td><td class="time">2:03.452</td><td class="time">+0.487</td><td class="time">+2.695</td><td class="timeGap">3</td> </tr> <tr class="odd"><td>19</td><td>T2</td><td>Yamaha Test Team</td><td class="time">2:03.621</td><td class="time">+0.169</td><td class="time">+2.864</td><td class="timeGap">32</td> </tr> <tr class="even"><td>20</td><td>Noburu Aoki</td><td>Rizla Suzuki MotoGP</td><td class="time">2:04.700</td><td class="time">+1.079</td><td class="time">+3.943</td><td class="timeGap">46</td></tr></tbody></table>
  15. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    Old but still new -

    <iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/yoN6XfyQsr4" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" width="425"></iframe>

  16. Lornce

    Lornce Lost In Place

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  17. pjcr12

    pjcr12 Stercus accidit

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    Re the previous 2 posts.....young people, eh? What will they get up to next?
  18. planktonnn

    planktonnn .also, i am a twat

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    They'll do just what you did, but with more gadgets. Innit.
  19. Lornce

    Lornce Lost In Place

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  20. crazydrummerdude

    crazydrummerdude Wacky Bongo Boy

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    You can pry my gadgets from my young, dead hands.