Life after death: my first solo trip

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Candiya, Sep 23, 2013.

  1. Candiya

    Candiya Been here awhile

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    Anna, thank you so much. Your ride report was recommended to me by one of the readers of this thread, and I found it very inspiring. (And very well written.)

    Everything that you wrote about adventuring resonated with me. Motorcycles have been a vehicle of healing for me as well.

    Overall, I think that things are getting easier for me. The general trend is upward. But there are still moments or periods of time where it's difficult. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one who's cried in the dentist chair!

    I hope you are healing too. Thank you again for reaching out.
  2. Candiya

    Candiya Been here awhile

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    Thanks, bbanker. I'm making progress. Just have to buckle down and edit, edit, edit!
  3. vtwin

    vtwin Air cooled runnin' mon

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    Candiya, that was a well written and heartfelt ride report. I don't usually read r+r's much (I spend way too much time on Advrider already!:lol3) But since yours was linked with Anna's I thought I'd check it out. I think your helping others cope. I hope your healing process continues.
  4. DrydenRider

    DrydenRider Sun Seeker

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    Re-reading this again after losing my dear riding partner friend, soul mate and wife to the dreaded cancer last month. Yours is one of the stories that came to mind in the days after and am now in the middle of Neil Pert's book. My days are a mix of emotions and I never know which one is going to rear its head next.

    My wife and i loved to ride and were planning so many more trips. I would plan and navigate and she would write about them. The letters she would send back home to friends and family i converted into ride reports.

    I truly hope you are doing better because when I see the world from your perspective it is hard to imagine that it ever will.

    for an FYI Here are our ride reports
    2011 My Wife'’s First Motorcycle Trip and her "Biker Stories from the Road" http://advrider.com/index.php?threads/my-wife’s-first-motorcycle-trip-and-her-biker-stories-from-the-road.828217/

    2012 My Wife's' 2012 big motorcycle trip and her "Biker Stories from the Road" http://advrider.com/index.php?threa...p-and-her-biker-stories-from-the-road.839391/

    2013 My Wife's Biker Stories from the Road III (Highway 89 Revisited)
    http://advrider.com/index.php?threa...rom-the-road-iii-highway-89-revisited.929790/

    2014 My Wife's Biker Stories from the road IV. "Round the Lakes" http://advrider.com/index.php?threa...ries-from-the-road-iv-round-the-lakes.994865/
    Uke and GreatWhiteNorth like this.
  5. Candiya

    Candiya Been here awhile

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    Oh dear friend, my heart goes out to you. Though we've never met, I feel that we share a kinship of traveling a similar journey. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of your soulmate, your partner in adventures exploring the open road. Only one month ago, no less. Thank you for sharing your ride reports. I can't wait to dig into them.

    You asked if I am doing better. This August will make 4 years for me, 4 years since Mike's accident. There were many times in those first couple of years when I wondered if I was going to make it. I felt broken. I wondered if I would ever feel joy again. Today, I can honestly say that I am doing much better. I have found joy again. Losing Mike was a hard reboot; it was a complete reset of myself and my life. Through the slow and painful process of rebuilding, I have become someone who appreciates the joy in the little moments - a good cup of coffee, the sun on my back, walking arm-in-arm with a friend. I still have my hard times, of course. Sometimes they're triggered by something external (most recently, the trigger was replacing the helmet I wore with Mike), and sometimes it's just that I long to hear his voice.

    As part of my healing journey, I started to write. As you alluded to above, the waves of emotions can be overwhelming. Writing gave me an outlet so the emotions wouldn't eat me from the inside out. Eventually, I decided to release my writings as a book, in the hope that it might help others. Shortly after releasing it, I did a talk at a grief group at the local hospital. It was facilitated by the same lady who led the group I attended after Mike's death. What an opportunity to see how far I've come. In the early weeks/months after Mike's accident, I was so stressed that I had memory problems, and I don't remember those times well. Hearing the grief group attendees talk reminded me of just how low I had been, such as having difficulty dealing with food, making meals for myself. About 2 years in, one of my big successes was having a friend over for dinner. A year later, I hosted a holiday party for the local motorcycle community. My journey of healing has been a slow process of small victories.

    I hope you'll excuse my rambling here. I offer these stories in the hope that they'll give you hope. Feel free to PM me if you're feeling low.
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  6. DrydenRider

    DrydenRider Sun Seeker

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    Thank you so much for your thoughts. Was not aware that you wrote a book, although your talent for writing was evident in the report. I have ordered the book and look forward to reading it. I will be attending a grief workshop hosted by another author Jocelyn Faire. I know this is a long process and it is never really over. Your reply is a comfort that it does get better. Thank you again and take care.
    Candiya likes this.
  7. GreatWhiteNorth

    GreatWhiteNorth Long timer

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    Sorry for your loss Garth... thought that was what was happening. May she ride on in peace.
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  8. just jeff

    just jeff Long timer

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    Candia,
    I read your ride ride report when you first wrote it here. I am glad things are going better for you and I look forward to reading your book which I just purchased off Amazon.
    DrydenRider,
    I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer is a horrible disease. I have lost several relatives and friends to it including my Mother when she was just 53. Even though that was several years ago I still think of her nearly every day. Though it gets easier with time it is never easy.
    Best Regards....just jeff
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  9. Kel Than

    Kel Than The Diggle

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    It appears from your writing and your experience that Michael IS WITH YOU. Keep going...great stuff!
    Candiya likes this.
  10. GreatWhiteNorth

    GreatWhiteNorth Long timer

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    Thnx Candiya for the great RR, and very sorry for your loss. Beautiful country out on the west coast - we used to live on Vancouver Island, still miss it, the big trees, scenery and weather.
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  11. just jeff

    just jeff Long timer

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    Hi Candia,
    I finished reading your book today and I must say I feel humbled. I read until I fell asleep with it in my hand last night and finished it this morning.
    Riveting or engrossing barely scratch the surface. I think the inappropriate black humor you wrote of is irony and a coping mechanism to help us through overwhelming tragedy. Just like in Reader's Digest....laughter is the best medicine!!
    Best Regards....just jeff
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