London to Capetown and back (KTM 640 ADV and AFrica Twin)

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by dont.crash.it, Dec 21, 2009.

  1. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    For most of my life, I've denied all body hair travel visas to my face. Recently I've experimented with more relaxed border controls with various results. Settlements were quickly established on the area of the upper lip, the tropics of the sideburns and the southern slopes of the chin. Thriving populations are in all these areas now.

    The inhabitants of the moustache have been slow to reach out to their southern cousins at the corners of the mouth. However, trade routes have been established, roads built and unsettled lands populated. Very good

    I have to say there are a few different ethnic groups amongst the hairs living on my face. The indigenous population are a dark swarthy lot, and mostly welcome the greys that have come to live amongst them. A happy population really, readily mixing with the scalp hair of the upper side burn.

    There are a few interlopers however, or perhaps far flung travellers? They are the gingers - randomly disbursed and isolated, they are pariahs of their neighbourhoods. If a follicle gets infected, a ginger gets blamed. These poor hairs must dream of living in the ginger paradise that is Simon's goatie. hur hur
    #41
  2. Ange.of.all.trades

    Ange.of.all.trades Perspex Rules

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    Have you been smoking the funny stuff in that hostel? :rofl It's either that or the dehydration you have suffered from your unfortunate encounter with a kebab that has you talking in metaphors!! Either way, I think I am scared for your sanity, are you suffering from cabin fever in Malaga? Don't stop though, keeps me entertained. I think that perhaps I have the same symptoms... try spending over 12 hours cooped up in an attic! I think I will stop here..... cool photos btw...
    #42
  3. brothernath

    brothernath Adventurer

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    Mikey Mikey Mikey - thinking the stand issues probably fixed as you're not a fat b@stard anymore..... race ya to 90kg !!!
    #43
  4. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    Nah, I'm just daft eh!!!
    #44
  5. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    90 kg's of what, onion rings?
    #45
  6. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    Hey Pete, you about? How is that new ktm sm?
    #46
  7. kiwipeet

    kiwipeet Uber Cyber Loafer

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    yep i'm here. we check the thread each day to see where you are and what you've been up to.

    Umm... haven't really been out on it since I rode it home. Just a couple of short rides.

    I'm not sure what to think of it..

    So did you and Simon actually do a bit of off-road stuff?

    How are you guys finding the bikes/gear/riding now you've had a bit of time to settle in?
    #47
  8. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    Does it feel familar to the 950 adv cause of the engine, and then funny as the layout is different (and you're expecting the adv?)


    Yup, up tracks comparable to to melborne. Plain dirt roads little front wheel drive cars were one, then some deep rutted stuff. Was a tight turn past a fallen tree and up a very steep bump too. Some ice as we got higher up the mountain. First river crossing, only a foot deep though. Si handled it all brilliantly esp for first time offroad on his AT, and on road biased tires. Might be his first off roading since riding farm bikes as a nipper?

    Mine is great with the tool tubes up front, really helps the weight distribution. Moved Simons up front too, just along the front of the bash plate. The tire may just foul the tube if bottoming out the suspension, but it won't grip. Got close to putting the tube on the ground doing tight circles in a car park too (will touch down before the pegs). Should be okay though, but we'll have to see once the front TKC 80 goes on.
    #48
  9. Ange.of.all.trades

    Ange.of.all.trades Perspex Rules

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    Not as daft as I am... I have just come back from work early to climb up into my loft again for another 5 or so hours of fun...
    #49
  10. locorider

    locorider Loco, pero no estúpido!

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    :lol3 :lol3 ...good stuff....

    Keep it coming and be sure to add more pics! Ride safe!:clap



    #50
  11. kiwipeet

    kiwipeet Uber Cyber Loafer

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    Will reply [thread=532168]here[/thread] instead of threadjacking.

    So... how long with you be in Spain before crossing over to Africa?
    #51
  12. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    #52
  13. kiwipeet

    kiwipeet Uber Cyber Loafer

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    #53
  14. kiwipeet

    kiwipeet Uber Cyber Loafer

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    Any news Mike?
    #54
  15. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    Hey we're in Ouzarzate at "bikershome"
    http://www.bikershome.net/

    chur, more tomorrow

    oh yes, cleaned the fork seal with a bit of thin plastic. Sort of like flossing yer teeth. Took half a dozen attempts. Think the extra oil I lost flushed it clean.
    #55
  16. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    The trip from Marrakesh to Ouarzazate was awesome. The time went by pretty quickly. The road reminded me a little of the gourge near Gissy where I grew up. Was a long stretch just rolling on and off the throttle and up and down a gear through the sweeping bends. Chilled out ride... was serene, blissful even.

    Couldn't have been happier if I was floating in shallows of the Mediterranean on a sunny day, being gently felated by a beautiful woman. Awesome.
    #56
  17. Ange.of.all.trades

    Ange.of.all.trades Perspex Rules

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    Sounds good, I hope you've taken pictures... Are you guys going to take the route from Mhamid or Zagora to Foum Zguid next? It took me ages to program it in to MapSource!! :cob
    #57
  18. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    Main square, a line of restaurants on the other side. Ask for mint tea without sugar and the chef is so annoyed he makes it sweeter. One part mint, one part water, 500 parts sugar. Maybe a dozen wasps drowned in leftover half a glass. They ignored the honey and jam I had for breakfast and went after the tea.

    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/ZAFN16IWGXF9B77xoZt_eA?authkey=Gv1sRgCMbEscT3h6CbuQE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S2ICuAO5soI/AAAAAAAAAVA/UVfo-OJZiU0/s400/DSC_0443.JPG" /></a>

    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/131OdHPUlwVNmGBg7iAXOQ?authkey=Gv1sRgCMbEscT3h6CbuQE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S2IC183-BVI/AAAAAAAAAVE/8HKfS1Vm-io/s400/DSC_0454.JPG" /></a>

    Hardest Hashish seller yet.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/szWXa4IJgAcq2UGP0JAHBQ?authkey=Gv1sRgCMbEscT3h6CbuQE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S2IDAVJXieI/AAAAAAAAAVM/4weKAohSEhs/s400/DSC_0470.JPG" /></a>

    The hash sellers here do their best to ruin the place. They stick to you like dog shit on a shoe and some are just as pleasant (to be fair some of them are funny). Anyway, they all have the same sales patter, welcome welcome, 1000 times welcome, Spanish? English? then a bit of chit chat, then fumar? fumar? When you say no, they think you mean the quality isn't good, then you must want opium, then you must want to go to their "fathers" hash plantation, then why are you visiting the Rif? Then, his friend thinks aha, he didn't want hash from him, they MUST want it from me!!!

    Others try to butter you up a bit, our god is the same god, we're all the same people, we eat we drink, we fuck. A funny line the first time. Second time I heard it the bloke only had one tooth left. Oh dear, he forgot we have differing standards of dental hygiene and a different idea about how much sugar should go in a cup of tea.
    #58
  19. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    Thought Fes would be a step up in the hassle stakes, but was pretty chilled out. You tell someone no, you don't want to buy something, they pleasantly tell you to take your time (as you'll come back in a few minutes and buy it then).

    We were a hit here for buying fresh fruit and vege to cook. A few locals went through our shopping and were horrified I was using egg plant in a vege stew (it was awesome btw!).

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    The tannery
    [​IMG]

    Had to take a guide from a leather shop to see this. I was a bit mean and looked through the sandals and asked about the sizes. All sizes was the confident reply? Are you sure? yes yes, what size? I take 50... he went a bit quiet, and ratted through some size 44's before conceding defeat and offering to make some custom fit ones ready the next afternoon. WOuld have been good but we were leaving in the morning.

    Si getting the low down
    [​IMG]



    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/0k23sd-l1g9xaMvYpuBHpw?authkey=Gv1sRgCMbEscT3h6CbuQE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S2ID_4MIxxI/AAAAAAAAAVg/qrAfRKtG6Dw/s400/DSC_0532.JPG" /></a>

    skins drying on a nearby hill
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/rns5uXwgQiiqQx-I4DVO8A?authkey=Gv1sRgCMbEscT3h6CbuQE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S2IEM8KaacI/AAAAAAAAAVk/Jgs9Neg2ywM/s400/DSC_0547.JPG" /></a>
    #59
  20. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    Had fun at the hostel here, got a lot of abuse from an old British bloke Peter (very funny guy). Also, Chloe took us to an illicit bottle store for few bottle of cheap red wine - great!!! payment was to take here out on a bike the next day. Went for a ride near the hostal and stumbled on a local market.

    This dude wanted his picture taken so many times.
    [​IMG]

    He gave Chloe a hot green chilli. She translated his french as saying it was mild and not hot. Hmmm, I took a big bite and agreed it wasn't hot at all and handed her half to eat (I love chilli, hur hur).
    [​IMG]

    yum
    [​IMG]


    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/NlfLTOgObhf03PKVMxT4KQ?authkey=Gv1sRgCMbEscT3h6CbuQE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S2IpJ4Vjf7I/AAAAAAAAAYQ/kxsYKfoGGGg/s400/DSC_0581.JPG" /></a>

    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/AR5T_HdYZ8lVAsxd1vxnsQ?authkey=Gv1sRgCMbEscT3h6CbuQE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S2Ip7djO1cI/AAAAAAAAAYU/zWMOnoEDRzc/s400/DSC_0556.JPG" /></a>


    Drinking buddies
    [​IMG]


    We also went to a crazy pub, and saw I some of the local's pickup techniques (so funny). Some smoothie stood half a foot away from Chloe and smacked his lips at her (like I would at a piece of fried chicken).

    She then told some other suitor I was her fiancée,... this was like telling a hash seller you don't smoke. Anyway, he offered to make love to her all night, and invited her to the corner of the bar. As Chloe translated I did a mock horrified double take and gave him a raised eyebrow Gemma would be proud of (Gem is my boss) and he ran off.

    Suitor number three was a classy dude. His line was "I have 29 years in the air conditioning business, a wife and grown children. He would give Chloe a hotel and a flat (with great air con presumably). He was a man of means, a very ample stomach and a fantastic moustache. That was AFTER Chloe and pointed me out as her husband. If she said she was single i think he would have spirited her away in Borat's wedding sack.

    Very funny night out, ending us getting busted sneaking in late to the hostal and Chloe was caught taking a leak in the garden. haaa haaa!!!
    #60