London to Capetown and back (KTM 640 ADV and AFrica Twin)

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by dont.crash.it, Dec 21, 2009.

  1. Ange.of.all.trades

    Ange.of.all.trades Perspex Rules

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    Hey Mikey!

    Me again, I'm putting this post on here in desperation!! I'm not sure how frequently you guys get on internet, but can you let Simon know his package is in Lome! 5 days remain to collect it!

    Thanks :clap
  2. Brother Gav

    Brother Gav n00b

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    Of the pic of the 3 Baboons, I'm the good looking one in the middle! Charlie #2, they need grey pants. Good luck with the race Bro.
  3. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    no racing for me, yay!!! course is hard out. We might have a sedate go at it after raceday maybe?

    Got my new tires on the bike too. Unfortunately, my spare front had slipped on the back of my bike and been worn by the rear tire and ruined. Had to buy a new front from the ktm dealer in Lome. Only think close to suitable was a michelin desert. Still abit too knobbly for my tastes. The tire is a fancy Paris Dakar spec version, x rayed to ensure it is perfect. Would have preferred tkc 80 front and rear.

    Anyway, the dealer here is "tony togo" and is a dakar support team, so I've had a top Dakar mechanic service my bike - awesome!
  4. Ange.of.all.trades

    Ange.of.all.trades Perspex Rules

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    So did you go race today? Well not race but ride on the piste?!! It must be so much fun just doing whatever takes your fancy on any given day... I thought it would have been cool for you to race, its a shame you didn't! :wink:
  5. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    Only took 35 countries and a couple of years to clock up the distance
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/TOGXz0L0tWHaFCHrAJlfwA?authkey=Gv1sRgCJCEntyh1v3glwE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6fT53pEgtI/AAAAAAAAAyA/eSAVmGdYJGg/s800/DSC_0494.JPG" /></a>

    lads and mad-dog
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/E8XD21Zbu-vYJdZi_9H3RQ?authkey=Gv1sRgCJCEntyh1v3glwE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6fURl_SN-I/AAAAAAAAAyE/JsiRjQ88MCo/s800/DSC_0502.JPG" /></a>

    Hans pushing the bike (shame he didn't do anything funny)
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/WtCCxklAdixr1Lmua1aKow?authkey=Gv1sRgCJCEntyh1v3glwE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6fUZzL4Q_I/AAAAAAAAAyI/5cZXDz6SqHE/s800/DSC_0506.JPG" /></a>

    the magic number
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/8fWAmr9ThpUUwzTFjw4Sfg?authkey=Gv1sRgCJCEntyh1v3glwE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6fUeRZd8bI/AAAAAAAAAyM/Aeg37yd9Zqk/s800/DSC_0513.JPG" /></a>
  6. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    race about to start when Gaston drops his arm...
    (only Sandro hasn't jumped the start)
    [​IMG]

    racing for the first corner
    [​IMG]

    Sandro
    [​IMG]

    Michelle and Nenee (he wheelied off the start too)
    [​IMG]

    the fastest mechanic in the world - Didiere
    [​IMG]

    A Chinese MX bike, very cheap and runs well. The rider is going to import them to Togo - check out his safety t-shirt
    [​IMG]


    Was a great day out eh. We were lucky enough to each get a race day t-shirt from the sponsor, Toni Togo KTM. Great shop, just happens to be a old dusty Ferrari Testarossa being stored there too. Looks like something Jeremy Clarkson would find for a top gear challenge.
  7. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    I cut my own hair the other day too. The lads were gob-smacked that I did a good job - I though it must have been awful and they weren't telling me. Anyway, Simon even had me cut his hair (to be fair Hans went for a tidy up at a local hair dresser and ended up bald). Si was stoked with his new lid, and especially pleased with the mullet I left him. He kept it for a couple of days and then had to have it cut off. Mad dog won't let me near his lid - I reckon a lovely bowl cut would suit him but he's not having it.


    [​IMG]
  8. brothernath

    brothernath Adventurer

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    awesome, congrat's to Mad-Dog !!! hoping the KTM will look after you the same way Mikey.... :freaky
  9. Bryn1203

    Bryn1203 Dances with spaniels

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    Mike, good report. Enjoying it :clap
  10. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    Oh, i doubt it'll last that long!
  11. Ange.of.all.trades

    Ange.of.all.trades Perspex Rules

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    Good barber skills Mikey! Not sure about the mullets though, even though I did get a good crack out of it!! I just heard the baboon in the background on the phone, very surreal! Is she grooming you too (in every sense of the word?!!).

    Good luck getting through Nigeria....
  12. rockjohn

    rockjohn Been here awhile

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    Dam, now that's a ride. :freaky
  13. draincleaner

    draincleaner Adventurer

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    Well done Mad Dog, you seam like part of the family now, I 'd buy you a beer if I could, tell Mikey to put it on my tab and I'll pay him next time he comes home or come to Tauranga yourself and I'll share a beer or three with you and I reckon we can find you a bed as well, keep it up really enjoying all the tales
    :freaky :clap .Cheers Trev.
  14. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    Thought I'd post a few pics of where we have been staying in Lome. Chez Alice has bungalows, a massive bar / restaurant, and room for camping under some trees. Is a nice chilled out place.

    outside the front door
    [​IMG]

    the bar outside
    [​IMG]

    inside the bar
    [​IMG]

    comfy spot
    [​IMG]



    awesome painting
    [​IMG]

    bikes without luggage!!!
    [​IMG]

    The beautiful AT
    [​IMG]

    campsite
    [​IMG]

    my tent with mozzie net hanging off the front. Handy when it rains in that heavy tropical fashion. Hans got soaked
    [​IMG]

    Simon hasn't gotten any better at putting up his tent
    [​IMG]

    Peter's tent by the bungalows
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/3xZsFeTZgquycOU4whBSxw?authkey=Gv1sRgCP-mltWfjeL03QE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6zc4CWxbEI/AAAAAAAAA10/89lywBW7dUY/s800/DSC_0687.JPG" /></a>
  15. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

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    think he looks cute?
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/c9_yDA87-O2sDnhR7asd7g?authkey=Gv1sRgCP-mltWfjeL03QE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6zZ397vH5I/AAAAAAAAA0o/ejix1apY3Js/s800/DSC_0693.JPG" /></a>

    Think again, this monkey is insane. He normally runs at me biting his paw.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/G1mD-xAZYwCxORqiSuQXMg?authkey=Gv1sRgCP-mltWfjeL03QE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6zaDJAIzlI/AAAAAAAAA0s/ui94_bqFVUk/s800/DSC_0692.JPG" /></a>

    Poor fella is tied up all day, think he wants to get in the trees. Poor thing is nuts.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/xpeunNhryjCETBLZMzmVRg?authkey=Gv1sRgCP-mltWfjeL03QE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6zaKJBb3SI/AAAAAAAAA0w/O8Lbfbl4NXE/s800/DSC_0697.JPG" /></a>

    The insane monkey at least has a play mate. He's shy though
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/vFLetHft3a2-DqEy28iPlA?authkey=Gv1sRgCP-mltWfjeL03QE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6zamQ3ruUI/AAAAAAAAA00/-4AA1fNSdAQ/s800/DSC_0699.JPG" /></a>

    unfortunately not shy enough. First time I saw him he scratched his arse, sniffed his fingers and then had a little nibble.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/7yPT_FfFR2wjC7wIbcoAbA?authkey=Gv1sRgCP-mltWfjeL03QE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6za1umnqGI/AAAAAAAAA04/fBqGY138rR4/s800/DSC_0702.JPG" /></a>

    Q. ...and what could these cut little fellas do wrong?
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/QYdFW_LgUTSfG_otiessqw?authkey=Gv1sRgCP-mltWfjeL03QE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6zbfcaUxYI/AAAAAAAAA1E/vx5PGeISV5o/s800/DSC_0709.JPG" /></a>

    A. shit on my tent!!!
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/GdUlMwPzAPt6-h-Vrnww2w?authkey=Gv1sRgCP-mltWfjeL03QE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6zbla6CLtI/AAAAAAAAA1I/Z-MUuKVZm1c/s800/DSC_0711.JPG" /></a>

    Highlights from the dogs include a massive dump on the tarpaulin that got squashed between two layers. The next day I stood on one fresh one and it squelched up between my toes. The next night I crawled out of my mozzie net and knelt in one. The next day they left me alone thank goodness.

    Unfortunately, I ate far too many chillis and drank too much beer and I shat my pants... twice :cry. First was a fart that wasn't, and then later as stomach cramps woke me from my slumber I was far far too slow duck-waddling to the toilet. Just not fair!

    Q. Can it get worse than dogs shitting on your tent and soiling yourself involuntarily?

    A. Yes... bats
    Hans informed me that tiny splash of water you're not sure you felt through the mosquito net was bats urinating on you. Excellent :clap
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/mike640adv/ChezAlice?authkey=Gv1sRgCP-mltWfjeL03QE&feat=embedwebsite#5452975169689288914"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6zcBpZbANI/AAAAAAAAA1M/I5Hs_efPyDE/s800/DSC_0678.JPG" /></a>

    Q. Can it get worse than dog shitting on your tent, soiling yourself, and bats urinating on your face?

    A. Australians!!!

    I think it had been a long time between meeting and insulting New Zealanders, so the typical barrage of half shouted Kiwi jokes began straight away. Oh dear god, Aussies with the volume button turned up to 11 - I had to go to bed. The next day with Trans-Tasman insults sorted, I found Billy and Trish to be good sorts and very experienced bikers. Was good luck meeting them. They have been there and done that and only too happy to tell you about it. We got a ton of travel tips and it was great to see the way Billy changed tires, finesse and technique over brute force.

    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/hThrMcmSzfgcG-e1ME41dg?authkey=Gv1sRgCP-mltWfjeL03QE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_XunQxrvkv3U/S6zY5J5m-VI/AAAAAAAAA0U/kuwRKEXQPPo/s800/DSC_0733.JPG" /></a>
  16. kiwipeet

    kiwipeet Uber Cyber Loafer

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    Ahh classy stuff Mike.

    You just don't learn stuff like this from Lonely Planet. :thumb

    Where are you now?

    edit. Ahh Chez Alice. Missed that.

    edit2. Just spent half an hour trying to find Chez Alice... it's a hostel in Lomé, Togo right?

    So you're about here somewhere?: http://maps.google.co.nz/maps?hl=en....795678,8.085938&spn=81.509293,158.027344&z=3
  17. brothernath

    brothernath Adventurer

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    Mikey, this had me in tears - the funniest sh*t (excuse the pun) I have read in the looonnnggg time !!!:poser

    So where to next fella ?
  18. kiwipeet

    kiwipeet Uber Cyber Loafer

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    Mikey? It's been 2 weeks since we heard from you. :patch

    Where for art thou Mikey? :dunno
  19. dont.crash.it

    dont.crash.it R.I.P. Mike

    Joined:
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    Oddometer:
    75
    Hey Pete - we are in Cameroon, Yaounde, and I am in a shitty internet cafe!


    BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS
    It's Simon's birthday today so we'll have a few beers later. We got him an Arsenal keyring, a lighter with a torch built in and a smutty magazine - he loved it. I also carved an awesome cricket bat from a chunk of wood using my hatchet and Hans' saw. Had a great game of bat down.


    THIEVES
    Other news, Simon's wallet passport, cards and money were stolen in a petrol station. Everything bar the money was handed in to a police station a few days later though, so not too bad.

    TRUCK CRASHES
    Also, Peter put his bike on a truck to cross a bad section of road as he didn't have off-road tires... and the truck crashed. He is very very lucky to be alive. Maybe a 15cm impact cut on his forehead and other cuts scratches and bruises. We were following on the bikes so patched him up and Simon got him to hospital. Me and Hans roped in the local to free the bike from the truck and haul it up the bank back onto the road. It has been smashed up, but should live to see another day. Will ship it to Windhook to repair it


    NIGERIA
    We only had transit visas to cross Nigeria and we had to do it in a hurry. Shame as I met a nice German bird Katie in Abuja. Damn it!!!


    World worst drivers
    The Nigerians are the worst drivers in the world. They drive cars the same way as other Africans drive scooters - full speed and literally as close as possible to the vehicles in front. The motorways are like a bunch of angrey shoppers on boxing day sales elbowing and pushing each other out of the way. Utterly insane and very very dangerous. We all shook hands and congratulated each other for not dying.

    We stayed at the Sheraton in Abuja where we could camp in the car park with our bike for free and use all the amenities, like the massive pool and bar. Only problem was the bar was swarmed with annoying hookers after dark. It was like a plague of annoying mosquitoes hovering around you all the time. I had three key techniques to see them off.

    1. Drunk lout. I'd bellow like Father Jack from the tv show Father Ted "What? Eh? Feck?"... effective

    2. One asked me how I was - I said heavily constipated and would love to murder a brown snake... like a professional all she did was show sympathy. Think I burped in her face and turned away (very rude I know, but they are soooo annoying and persistent)

    3. I told another one that I was carrying my dead wife's ashes around Africa and have planted a seed with her ashes in each country that we had always planned to visit together (until fate took her) and I would do nothing to dishonour her memory. Utter rubbish, but good practice for lying needed to fend off money grubbing thieving border guards and officials.

    Singing Waltzing Matilda to Nigerian Border guards
    I had always wanted to offer "the gift of song" to officials trying to extort a bribe, but was far too chicken. Simon bless him offered to sing to a Nigerian border guard as cardeau. When he accepted Peter and Si were looking sheepishly at each other, so Peter kicked off Waltzing Matilda before Si could jump in with rule Britannia. Think our humbling was enough for the border guards to wave his bribe. So funny.


    Next Update
    We will be here for a while getting Visas and sorting Peters bike, and waiting for Simon's passport to be returned. I'll add some pics in the next few days
  20. kiwipeet

    kiwipeet Uber Cyber Loafer

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    Geez.. lucky I guess. And they say lightening doesn't strike twice... :dog

    :umph not good. .

    Eagerly awaiting your next episode... :lurk