Need some help

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Day Trippin'' started by ata, May 25, 2011.

  1. ata

    ata expat in the jungle

    Joined:
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    Bilbao, close to the fu****ng Guggenheim
    A few years ago I changed the application GIRLFRIEND 2.0 to WIFE1.0 and found that the update defrauded in excess.

    First, WIFE 1.0 sucks system resources for other applications.

    Not only that, found that WIFE 1.0 is also a CHILDREN 1.x which greatly slows the pc processor capacity

    There was no mention of this particular phenomenon neither the documentation provided by the manufacturer of the product or its warranty, although other colleagues had told me this would be expected, due to the nature of the application
    .

    Because of this the system should recover almost forgotten protocols , MS Dos type LIE.10.2 or NO_RESPONSABILITY 7.0 to get a tolerable system stability because of the monstrous RAM consumption derived by CHILDREN 1.X.

    So a few days ago I decided to put in place associated with the "COLLEAGUES 3.1" and by applying quite at odds with Wife 1.0, DUAL_SPORT_BIKE 3.0, this time based protocols which will be linked to the GPS 2.0 in windows browser screen, but also usually works in the usual form.

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    Of course, this time I have had numerous route problems which initially blamed on a Trojan from a web “FREE_SEX_MOVIES 6.0 " misteriously appeared on my PC as pop-up because It was not working properly about half an hour only, enough time if you count the slowness associated with FREE_TRACK_FROM_THE_WEB 5.0
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    Of course, these downloads from free servers sucks and most of the times are incompletes
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    After saving their protocols in binary language, we proceed a new system to re-boot
    With a new program reconfiguration , finally seems to work without hanging up the fuc**** windows.
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    But surprises did not end there. In addition, WIFE 1.0 configures itself so that it always launches itself at system initialization where it can control all other processes, and effectively burns firewall and opens the task manager and introduce a worm, old style, as a resident virus, active and aggressive
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    But……the configuration process begins to fail, however, due to the cold vengeance of these types of programs that work associated in tune, remember, the WIFE 1.0 is rendered with the MOTHER_IN_LAW 1.0 Both lethal and was not aware at that time and was still thinking about the “FREE_SEX_MOVIES 6.0 ", and……CLOCNK!, system becomes unstable and collapses
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    Twice !!!!!
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    I suspect it will not be the only attack, so I decide to change radically by the ACE screen in ASCII, based on SYSTEM 32
    And it works normally the rest of the day at least
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    In summary, some applications like poker night 10.5, 2.5 and BEER_PARTY_PUB_NIGHT 7.0 can not run as frequently as the basis of my program this letter because WIFE 1.0 crashes the system when selected (even though they had always worked before very well).
    At installation, WIFE 1.0 automatically adds index services, as MOTHER_IN_LAW 1.0 (ATTENTION: dangerous, overwrite attacked files inside , causing contents loss.), and BROTHER_IN_LAW. Demo-version.

    The most notable effects of these added services is a daily and progressive degradation of system performance.

    So I'm very considering changing the application version WIFE 1.0 seriously, but there are some features you would want to add in the next version of the application (WIFE 2.0) :

    * "forget me" button and another one to minimize it.
    * Adding an option that allows WIFE 2.0 to be installed with the "uninstall at any time", without loss of cache and other valuable system resources.
    * An option to run the network driver in "promiscuous mode”, which allows the system to test various applications , for greater market knowledge.

    WHAT SHOULD I DO?

    afflicted user
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    #1
  2. rudolf35

    rudolf35 Warped & Twisted Mind

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    Change the apps Wife 1.0, Childeren 1.x and Mother_in_Law 1.0 into services. Then add the dependency to run a program at start; make the program a stop the services CMD line and put the resource draining apps/services in a constant start up shut down mode - give insufficient time to gather resources.
    #2
  3. exoff-roadgoat

    exoff-roadgoat Will ride for food

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    Very nice pictures but I have no idea what your saying.:huh What language is that?
    #3
  4. Davidc83

    Davidc83 Been here awhile

    Joined:
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    Reformat the hard drive which will permanently remove Wife 1.0, Mother_in_law 1.0 and brother_in_law 1.0.
    Reinstall with girlfriend 3.0 and run OS in safe mode, ensuring any resources overload can be replaced with a fresh girlfriend 4.0, 5.0, etc.
    Place girlfriend 3.0 in a TEMP folder, and create hidden/encrypted folders for girlfriend 4.0, girlfriend 5.0 so girlfriend 3.0 is not aware of any other resources being used.
    While running girlfriend 3.0, ensure to use Latex covered static guard to minimize the accidental creation of processes child 1.0, 2.0, etc. which can use more resources than any wife 1.0 or girlfriend 3.0.
    #4
  5. SidewinderX

    SidewinderX Hey, watch this!

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    I am currently reformatting my hard drive....... :D:D:clap:clap

    Although in lieu of the Latex covered static guard, I decided to have mine permanently deconstructed...... :lol3
    #5
  6. TK-LA

    TK-LA SoCal Rider

    Joined:
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    Southern California
    Luckily for me, my version of WIFE1.0 came with the REALLY_UNDERSTANDING fixit patch and now nicely load balances BEER_PARTY_PUB_NIGHT 7.0, WEEKEND_RIDE.exe and TRIP_TO_CANADA (ten day user license) with the HOMECOOKED_MEAL.zip and the CLEAN_CLOTHES application

    :deal
    #6
  7. Bill_Z

    Bill_Z Dude! chill,...

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    Crab Orchard, KY
    Ohhhhhh, yahhhhhh!:rofl
    #7
  8. adventureduc

    adventureduc Been here awhile

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    Yes i agree with above quote... great pix... but WTF are you saying. Actually that is pretty damn funny... I get the context...but refer to my I.T. geeks to tell me what it all means:D Im thinking " del tree *.* " and start over. Like the ooops pix at the mud crossing...go from orange crush to orange crunch :rofl
    #8
  9. ClearwaterBMW

    ClearwaterBMW The Examiner

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    Clearwater, FL USA
    1. i LOVE this thread.... your "language" has given me a smile that will last all day

    2. i AGREE with the above posters about "changing to wife 2.0"
    ... sorry to say

    good luck
    #9
  10. patmo

    patmo Long timer

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    Might be time to get a new laptop with all new software, wiping out all old files and memory....do not transfer old info into new system, there are probably viruses in those old files


    Love the pics, but the writing is even better. :rofl
    #10
  11. stevh0

    stevh0 Super Retard.

    Joined:
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    Change to a UNix based platform !

    Great thread! Great Pics!
    #11
  12. ata

    ata expat in the jungle

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    thnx to everybody who read this paranoia:lol3
    #12
  13. jcf

    jcf Been here awhile

    Joined:
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    And I thought Euskara was hard to understand.....

    Fantastic pics - those aren't Miuras I presume.
    #13
  14. manfromthestix

    manfromthestix Lost in Space

    Joined:
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    Lexington, Virginia
    I'm on Wife 3.0 and am generally happy enough to live the rest of my life with her, although the Baggage 1.1, 1.2, 1.3 and dependent sub-programs can be a little taxing to my RAM now and again. Wife 3.0 loves Motorcycling 1.X and enjoys that I enjoy it, with or without her company. :clap I hope this has all worked out for you in the intervening YEARS since first posted :lol3.

    BTW, that first photo is absolutely outstanding.

    Doug
    #14
  15. LittlePosum

    LittlePosum Scrappy Marsupial

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    :rofl I speak just enough "Nerd" to get it. Awesome very funny! :rofl
    #15
  16. plains ranger

    plains ranger Been here awhile

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    Denver, CO
    Get a Mac! :deal

    Otherwise great pics.
    #16
  17. ata

    ata expat in the jungle

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Bilbao, close to the fu****ng Guggenheim
    :nono
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    :deal
    #17