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Discussion in 'The Perfect Line and Other Riding Myths' started by NoVa Road Warrior, May 15, 2017.
This thread is amusing.
You're an effing psychiatrist, huh?
You and the OP have shed light on something I have had little exposure to. Thank you both.
It's one of many situations you have no control over.....why sweat it? The guy has issues, and nothing you say is going to change that. Move on and go for a ride.
Now that, is funny!!!
Take him for a ride.
That's a shitty was to deal with people on the autism spectrum! People with Asperger's don't mean to be obnoxious, they just have difficulty with social cues etc. The guy is probably lonely and he's just looking for some interaction.
You should try explaining to him the notion of risk vs reward. He mows his lawn even though there are some dangers because the reward (a tidy lawn) is what he values. You ride a bike even though the are some dangers because you value the rewards, namely fun and adventure.
I think the OP tried some interaction and didn't have any success.
And a cup as well.
Try a different type of interaction. The world would be a nicer place if we all tried a bit harder (like the OP is doing) to understand eachother, especially if someone isn't 'neuorotypical'.
yell at him that your exploding lawn mower has permanently damaged your hearing. Any further lectures will be greeted with "WHAT?! HUHHHHH?! YOU SAY SOMETHING?!" etc..
Making fun of people born with a disorder they can't help is for the birds. Period.
My brother in law has Asperger's. He is very literal. Sometimes it hurts my head with the info he has stored away in there.
OP , if he brings it up again , tell him you appreciate his concern , you do what you can to be safe , and you will continue to do so. It's been brought out , he likely sees it more like a discussion than an argument.
I have relatives with the problem. Sheltering them wasn't helpful, I didn't give them shit about it, but I did let them know when their behavior was unacceptably far away from normal. Eventually they learned to fake normal well enough to get on with life. (A lot like the rest of us).
This keeps my social interaction with other people to a minimum.
No, but if i was i would tell you to effing lighten up. With an attitude like that i shure as shit hope you can take a punch better than you can take a joke.
My teenage nephew is afflicted by this. We live within 1/2 a mile, and are close. He thinks its funny to say horribly racist shit to elicit shock for his own amusement. His I.Q. is about 20 points hIgher than mine, so when I say horrible, I'm talking really rank, vile, evil shit. Especially disconcerting given I have other nieces and nephews that are black, Puerto Rican, Jewish, whatever.
I do what I can, but generally just be kind, tolerant, and gently correct him, letting him know I don't like those words. Sometimes I have to tell him he has to leave, sometimes I have to make him. He spends a lot of time with my son, they are the same age.
Point is, everyone is going to deal with these individuals differently, but you do have to deal with them. Kid gloves is not the way. Boxing gloves however.....
Be a good neighbor and talk about something else. If he's persistent, roll with it and change subjects to how it's going with the kids. Figure out what you can discuss and discuss it as best possible, then excuse yourself for whatever reason to leave. People with special needs also need some socialization and maybe his skills will develop along the way.
I had an Asperger's student in class. Not as severe a case as your neighbor sounds, but same bluntness. He was for ever reading joke books and telling jokes, but the delivery wasn't good. He was fact driven in other areas, like your neighbor seems to be, as well. You don't "win" discussions or arguments with them and teaching them requires a technique to guide around sources of disagreement, especially when trying to do projects as a teacher. It was a real chore to push him to build one of our wood compressed air driven cars, the first one got damaged and the disappointment made him want to quit. Some pushing mildly got him going. He had the second fastest car in the class and was seriously basking in the glory for that day. One of the few that likely happened for his school time, due to that condition. Recognize this and make it work for you as best you can and enjoy whatever you can find to enjoy when talking with the guy. Figure out what does please him and go with it. Be a good neighbor and friend, don't look for a "win". The real win will be to be the guy's neighbor he will probably like.
This may be the best way to deal with the Asperger's syndrome type mentioned. As said, there are few filters depending on the level they are affected. Not a bad response all around too. I only discuss anything like that with people I know and none of them are pointing that out to me so that's not happening either.
You are missing a point in this case. It is being neighborly and this person has the condition that will not allow your approach, unless the goal is to alienate the neighbor and cause him to dislike you. The previous two replies pretty much sum it up. It is a no win argument. Not backing down is fine for the average person in a discussion, but this is not the average person.
A discussion is fine, maybe a comparison of riding the motorcycle with the riding of the bicycle would be interesting, provided the OP wears a helmet when riding. The similarities can be compared for discussion purposes, but not to "win". Depending on the neighbor and their receptiveness to discussion I might not even do that discussion, because it might convince the guy to quit riding the bicycle rather than convince him that riding a motorcycle is not much worse than riding a bicycle. I'd let it slide and go to another topic or the "yep, you're right" line too.
By the way, I personally wear a helmet when riding a bicycle because I am a road rider, not a sidewalk rider. I know if it makes sense for me to wear a motorcycle helmet when riding my motorcycle around town it certainly makes sense for me to do the same on my bicycle. I do not see that as any oddity, regardless of any sorts of conditions.
Having recently seen what can happen with a person free falling stiff legged backward and striking their head I can tell you I will try to always wear a helmet on bike or motorcycle. My 5'2" daughter had a seizure, falling backward stiff kneed/bodied on a tile floor, fractured her skull so severely the doctors felt she had been struck (waitress in a restaurant, people around, no attacker), had severe brain trauma with both subdural and epidural hematomas. Only fast action saved her life and will allow her pretty much full restoration of mental capabilities. We are still on the long road to recovery, but going the right way. Just sayin' the bicycle and motorcycle helmets make a lot of sense... at least for me.
Very likely that the Asperger's is the reason, unless there is outside influence, that has him thinking it's funny. The kid I taught would give backhanded compliments. Like "you don't look as fat as your pictures make you look." thinking full well it is a nice compliment. Just no good sense of the situation. Kind of like how Tourette's Syndrome people will shout obscenities or other stuff, jerk and twitch. It is normal to their condition, but not to the average human's conditions. Makes me think of the one severely mentally disabled kid I had in high school. He wanted to hug everyone. Not a good thing and, as racist as it may sound, not a good thing for a normal sized black kid to do. His aid was working on conditioning him to not do that. I don't know if an Asperger's Syndrome person can be conditioned to not do what your nephew does. Try to find out if you want to try to help.
The act of assuming motive is slippery. You say your students motive for his backhanded compliments was, in your opinion, altruistic, but does that belittle his intelligence? Are you assuming he isn't a standard little wiseass who says shit like that for shock value and his own amusement because he has what you consider to be a mental handicap? What the hell else would he say when confronted? He will weasel out of trouble just as any proper young smartass would. I bet he was an Eddie Haskell-ing little sonofabitch, too.
I also bet you had a hard time not laughing. Smart.
We are all guessing what the truth is. You have no idea what that kid was really thinking.
I am definately not a degreed psychological expert, but i have cornered about 15,000 youth wrestling matches, over 100 mma fights, was a used car salesman for 5 years, and am currently a slumlord. Much like anyone in juvenile education, I have seen humans behaving badly, a shitload of it. About 99% of the time their motives are selfish. I always bet on that.
My guess is my nephew is simply amusing himself, scratching some itch I'm glad I don't feel, as is the o.p.'s bothersome neighbor. Harmless, and to be tolerated, but too deep of a well for my uneducated ass to help in any other manner but as already described. Be nice, change the subject.