Ride Apart: Ten Dumbest Things You can do on a bike... ADD some more

Discussion in 'The Perfect Line and Other Riding Myths' started by DAKEZ, Oct 14, 2013.

  1. DesertTortoise

    DesertTortoise Freedom Fighter

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
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    153
    Turning around a mile after your last stop to find your sunglasses which must have fallen off your tankbag when you put on your helmet just to get there and find that you are wearing them.
    #81
  2. baloneyskin daddy

    baloneyskin daddy bikaholic

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    2,375
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    southcentral PA.
    Back in the late 70's and early 80's I dragraced a Kaw-H2 with 34mm carbs . In between rounds I would mist the engine down with water to cool it off. I would stick a ball of rolled up papertowels in the back of the carbs to keep them dry. Pushed it to the staging lanes and when they signaled for me to prestage and heat my tire up ,the bike wouldn't start. Kicked like hell and it finally barely started and as I was finally able to get it to clean out a tech tapped me on the shoulder and when I turned to look I saw the sky behind me filled with confetti.:lol3
    #82
  3. Grinnin

    Grinnin Forever N00b

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    3,790
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    Maine
    I left my dad's house at about 4 or 5 am and was heading home. I was already out on long featureless stretches of country road when flashing lights in my mirror said law enforcement so I pulled over. Gloves off, glasses off, helmet off, earplugs out, and the officer is there beside me to tell my my taillight is out. He advised me to leave a turn signal on until I got to a nearby 24-hour gas station where I was able to buy a 1157 bulb at a gas station.

    But at the gas station I didn't have my glasses with the black frames and $450.00 polycarbonate safety bifocal lenses. I can see OK without my glasses; no restriction on my license or anything. But the glasses make reading easier and everything sharper.

    I looked at my GPS and could zoom in enough to see where I pulled over. Ha -- but is it accurate at all? I went back and turned around and went to where the GPS had turned off (with the ignition) and THERE WERE MY BLACK FRAMES WITH THE $450.00 polycarbonate safety bifocal lenses. They were laying in the black roadside gravel.

    I added a supplementary LED taillight to that bike too.
    #83
  4. homme de fer

    homme de fer Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2010
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    207
    Location:
    GTA, Canada
    First weekend of July, I went up North to visit my parents (about 450kms one way). I did this trip a week after a 1700km trip to the Adirondacks the week before and a weekend long ride the weekend before that.

    On the way back from North Bay, I was absolutely beat. I stopped for gas at a station, got off my bike, and noticed the pump was out of order. I got back on my bike and tried to manoeuver to the other side of the pump and dropped the bike right in front of everyone. A total cock up! I cut in line, pumped some gas, and got out of there in a hurry. The weird part is I spent the previous day riding trails on my fully loaded Sertao and didn't go down once.
    #84
  5. Meromorph

    Meromorph Expat Brit in TN.

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    White House, TN


    Zenni Optical... :wave
    #85
  6. Dan Alexander

    Dan Alexander only happy when sad

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    Now only Montreal
    OK, this has to be the funniest story so far :rofl
    #86
  7. Thanantos

    Thanantos Ride hard.

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    Michigan
    About half of those and one more....

    It's important to note this occurred on the last day my 18 year old son's first long weekend road ride with the crew.

    We had spent a good weekend of spirited riding and 7 or so of the bikes and riders, including my son and I, were waiting for another 2 or so of the "peanut tank" and "I better fill up just in case" crowd to return. We were on the right shoulder of a rural Northern Michigan road with a steep ditch sloping down to the right.

    I got bored and figured roosting up some dirt along the shoulder would be the funnest thing ever. At about my third "roost and back up", with everyone now watching because other than the passing rednecks I was the only entertainment, the leg of my riding pants gets caught on the right peg as I go to put it down.

    There was little room for error to begin with here because of the steep bank of the ditch, but that quick catch of my pant leg was all it took to make hilarity and embarrassment ensue.

    I can't get my right leg down in time to prevent the slow, inevitable fall to my right side. However, I do get my motorcross laden right foot down just in time for my right leg to be uninjured but perrmanently pinned between the sharply slanting ditch and the right foot peg of my full laden KLR650 (around 480lbs with a full tank and luggage for a full weekend of camping).

    So, there I lay like a beached whale. I was pinned to the ground with self-escape not an option. I had to ready myself for help or wait or for the coyotes to arrive to end my fool's misery.

    Fortunately, I had many "friends" standing by to help! Help they did, but not without standing around laughing at me for a good 10 minutes and then taking out their cameras to record my folly.

    LESSON TO MY SON: After a long weekend of spirited riding the only fool to go down was the one that was showing off AND even then he was saved by good gear.
    #87
  8. Jamie Z

    Jamie Z Long timer

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    Denver, more or less.
    Twice I've forgotten to retighten the axle nut after adjusting my chain.

    Jamie
    #88
  9. BadKarma

    BadKarma Long timer

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    Rocky Mountains, USA
    Both of you F'n F'ers are wrong. It's a drainage plug.
    #89
  10. waveydavey

    waveydavey happy times!!

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    Living in a van down by the Chemainus River.
    You are all wrong. It's a non-drainage plug. It only drains when it is not there.
    #90
  11. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    Murphy’s Law – Clause 1: It’s a fact of life that a motorcycle cannot fall over without an audience. The odds of a motorcycle falling over are directly proportional to the number of people watching and the rider’s ego. If the motorcycle is new and expensive then the chances of this happening are even greater.
    There is a sub-clause to this; the chances of your helmet dropping to the concrete or asphalt is directly linked to how new it is and how much you paid for it.

    Murphy’s Law – Clause 2: You’ve just ridden through a thunderstorm. The rain was so heavy that you had to pull over to find somewhere to sit it out. Finally the sun has come out and you and your gear are now dry so you can set off. Five miles down the road it starts to rain again.
    There is a sub-clause to this section too; the chances of you riding in the rain is directly related to how accessible your gear is, or if you have remembered to bring it with you in the first place.

    Murphy’s Law – Clause 3: If you run out of fuel it doesn’t matter which direction you push your bike, the nearest gas station will always be uphill and in the opposite direction. The odds are increased that all nearby gas stations are closed.

    Murphy’s Law – Clause 4: The battery on your bike will die at the exact same time as something else breaks leading you to think for the next two weeks that the two things are somehow connected.

    Murphy’s Law – Clause 5: Nothing on this planet is harder to start than a used motorcycle being shown to prospective buyer. This is despite the bike firing up and running like a dream five minutes before the potential purchaser arrived.

    Murphy’s Law – Clause 6: You will never have a puncture on the road until you leave the tire repair kit at home in your garage.

    Murphy’s Law – Clause 7: The chances of finding a motel or camping spot while out on the road are directly related to how late in the day it is and what the weather is like. If it’s dark and raining you’re going to be riding a long time before you find anything suitable.

    Murphy’s Law – Clause 8: You’ve spent weeks in a parking lot practicing how to do a wheelie on your bike. You’ve now got it down to a fine art and know exactly what you are doing. First time you attempt it out on the road you pass the local police officer parked in his cruiser. He also happens to dislike motorcycles.

    Murphy’s Law – Clause 9: When your throttle cable snaps it will always happen in the sketchiest part of town. You’ll coast to a halt alongside a group of suspicious looking characters who are at first curious as to what you’re doing on their turf and then would like to charge you for any assistance they offer you.

    Murphy’s Law – Clause 10: The one and only part that you really, really need for your motorcycle will be the only item that is on permanent backorder. How long it takes to eventually arrive is also proportional to how badly you want it.

    Murphy’s Law is a case of hoping that some of these things will never happen to you but you know deep down that in reality they one day will. It’s not a case of if with Murphy’s Law but more a case of when.

    What additions do you have to add to this list?


    (From: http://rideapart.com/2013/10/murphys-law-motorcycles/2/ )
    #91
  12. Y E T I

    Y E T I Unpossible

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    San Diego
    Quote:
    <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=4 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset">Originally Posted by DAKEZ
    Murphy’s Law – Clause 6: You will never have a puncture on the road until you leave the tire repair kit at home in your garage.
    </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
    :nod If both riders on a trip both forget to bring a tube, you are guaranteed to get a flat that requires a tube to fix it. (See, Two Giants Go To Baja...)



    Quote:
    <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=4 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset">Originally Posted by DAKEZ
    Murphy’s Law – Clause 10: The one and only part that you really, really need for your motorcycle will be the only item that is on permanent backorder. How long it takes to eventually arrive is also proportional to how badly you want it.
    </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
    Clause 10 is commonly know as "The BMW Clause."
    __________________
    #92
  13. xymotic

    xymotic Long timer

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    Federal Way, WA
    Don't look at your Shaft Drive BMW buddy like he's the idiot for not having a spare Master link.
    #93
  14. Motology

    Motology Young and Restless

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    Apr 30, 2012
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    34
    Location:
    Northfield, MN
    I was asked to make a run to WallyWorld to buy 5lbs of bacon for Sunday brunch. Jumped on my bike, rode to Walmart, bought bacon, and walked out. Saw my bike and went: "Huh, where'd my Givi's go?" Realizing that no suburban pseudothug is going to steal my cases I tied the bag full of bacon to myself and rode home. Got back, pulled into the garage and went: "Hah! I found my Givi's!"
    #94
  15. Y E T I

    Y E T I Unpossible

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    Location:
    San Diego
    :jack
    #95
  16. AviatorTroy

    AviatorTroy Long timer

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    1,694
    Location:
    Cincinnati OH/Stuart FL
    I forgot to put the oil filler cap back on after doing an oil change on the SV. I always have to start it, warm up, and check oil level, usually have to add a little more, so anyway I started it and about half the oil in the crankcase wound up on the inside of my pant leg.

    This was about 10 years ago and I still think about it and laugh at myself every time I do an oil change now....
    #96
  17. atomicalex

    atomicalex silly aluminum boxes

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
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    4,577
    Location:
    Detroit mostly
    Riding the BMW means boxes, sweet, spacious Varioboxes. Briefbag? dump it into the left side. Purse? Right side. Plenty of room for other crap, too. Like my security badge, which usually goes in my outside jacket pocket.

    Riding the CBR means little tank bag and backpack. And usually leathers. Which do not have a pocket for my badge. Which I have forgotten to remove from my textile jacket anyway. Which doesn't matter, because I've also forgotten to shove my purse in my backpack, and therefore also do not not have my phone, or any money, or my license, or anything else that might be useful. I do have my laptop, though, so technically, I could do work. :deal

    I need to find a backpack that fits in the Varios.
    #97
  18. mountaincadre

    mountaincadre Been here awhile

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    Jul 18, 2012
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    478
    Location:
    Mid Calder,Scotland
    Well done Dazek, I actually think this should be posted to all current and future members:deal as a reminder of what WILL go wrong.
    #98
  19. Salzig

    Salzig Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2008
    Oddometer:
    374
    Location:
    Cremona, Italy
    Track day at Mugello.
    I enter the track and after a couple of easy laps I start to hammer the throttle.
    No way.
    The more I twist, the worst the bike goes.
    So I stop, unwear my leathers and call my mechanic (and friend) and ask what to look for.
    Start to disassemble parts, when I see the air intake still closed by the plug I use while trailering the bike...
    #99
  20. FinlandThumper

    FinlandThumper Has Cake/Eats it Too Super Moderator

    Joined:
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    10,598
    Location:
    Helsinki
    Just a question. Here in Europe the diameter of the diesel dispenser is larger to prevent it being inserted into a gasoline tank by accident. So it would be impossible to actually put the dispenser into your tank here. Of course, if you have a diesel you need to pay attention but with a gas engine you'd have to shoot the gas from outside, in.

    Is this not true in the USA? Are they the same size? I hail from Wisconsin but haven't ever bought diesel in the states or made such a mistake...


    My stupid story almost got me killed. I was 14. Riding on my uncles farm, I blasted out into the back field through a gate, single strand electric barbed wire. It was open, my cousin was out spreading manure. I rode for a while and then went ripping back home...toward that open gate, which wasn't open anymore. Cousin had closed it since you don't leave gates open on a dairy farm. I saw it at the last second and tried to "lay er down" but to no avail. I was closelined and ended up with a gash in my neck down to the muscle. It missed my jugular by maybe an inch. I got a shitload of stitches and damaged my hodaka pretty bad but otherwise walked away. My helmet saved my life,nit had a quarter inch divot from a fieldstone in it that was about 2inches diameter at its widest point.

    And I learned to pay attention when I ride.

    Edited to add: much like dakez's rule number five...my fault!