'Round the World with an Italian Supermodel

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by AntiHero, Aug 8, 2014.

  1. mork

    mork Been here awhile

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    Colorado
    I have thoroughly enjoyed and appreciate what you have written, and I can't say that part of this didn't have an influence on my decision to quit my job, hang out with my little kids more, work on bikes here and there and better experience what I enjoy.

    Carry on good sir.
  2. Blader54

    Blader54 Long timer

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    Jul 29, 2012
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    1,663
    I think the Panigale excels in providing the highest SPG. Smiles per gallon! Tops mpg in my book! Ride what ya love!
    GTSurgery, AntiHero and Samoadv like this.
  3. lronW0lf

    lronW0lf Adventurer

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    Sorry about that, millennial habits. Much appreciate steering me to right direction.
  4. AntiHero

    AntiHero Long timer

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    I'm back.

    I see a lot of responses that I will read and will respond to. I will also finish the ride report. But before then, I have some explaining to do.

    When I got back to the US, I was miserable. You don't have to spent a few years fucking off to come back and slide into depression. (Anyone who's ever returned to work after a 2 week vacation knows what I'm talking about.) From 2012 to 2015, I was free. Completely free and in control of my own destiny. At a moment's notice I'd take an exit that would lead to Slovakia. I'd leave one country in the morning without any idea where I would be sleeping that night. And and later that night I'd be eating Mexican food and drinking margaritas in Prague. I could spend three weeks in Montreal on a whim, then, also on a whim, decide it's a good idea to run for my life RIGHT FUCKING NOW! (Hey Detroit!).

    And I returned from the first trip. Then headed off on the second (PacNW). Then return, then repeat. But after Europe I was done. Not by choice. Funds were drying up and instead of selling the Panigale to live on a moped for another year, I returned to the software world. I figured I'd bust my ass, live modestly, save up and then figure out what I'm going to do when I grow up. And bust my ass I did. The devil on my right shoulder was telling me to 'fuck it'. The devil on my left shoulder said, 'suck it up....there'll be time to play later'. This ride report came to a screeching halt because, between my doing what I loved at night (painting until the small hours of the morning), and working my ass off, I had no time (I think I also 'suffer' from monomania and tend to, err, become possessed with certain pursuits). On a very personal level, though, it was nearly impossible to even think about this former life where I was so happy and satisfied. I had so much hope that doing what I loved would miraculously lead to doing more of what I loved. Instead I was updating spreadsheets. So I logged off. The cognitive dissonance was too much to bear.

    Then it got worse. Now, I'd spent almost a year learning completely new technology; a year building up a territory. A year of cold calling, prospecting, onsite meetings, PowerPoints, networking and sleepless nights spent trying to crack the code. A year of fucking dedication. And then I had deals on the table. Commission was on the horizon. Happiness began to set in because hope was back. Keep it up. It will work out. And then the roof caved in. A chance encounter led to some startling information. And I did some digging. And the deeper I dug the worse it got. I consulted a lawyer to see if what we were doing was fraud. And then I quit. Rather than make money by lying to customers, I quit.

    And that's where things are at. It's been a month. I sleep as little as possible and paint the rest of the time. I'm doing what I love once again. And I'll figure something out. But I'm not miserable anymore (when I'm depressed I tend to retreat, hence my long absence) and look forward to the uncertainty ahead.

    I'll check back in tomorrow and respond to the comments above before finishing off Europe.
    Fast1, Tallbastid, Samoadv and 20 others like this.
  5. Zubb

    Zubb he went that-a-way...

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    A collective groan just went up as your fan base read this last post. I feel like absolute shit for you.

    Well AH, you are sure no stranger to adversity. But thanks for the update and for continuing to be so open about it . . . and yes, in this there is a story as well.

    As much as we all love the bike, it's the larger story of course that intrigues, entertains and inspires. As the spirit moves you, please keep it rolling here. You have a ton of friends here.

    Cheers my friend.
    Tallbastid, Samoadv, KHVol and 3 others like this.
  6. OK Lucinda

    OK Lucinda n00b

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    Vancouver
    Distance rider here. Was in a pub in Canada about two weeks ago with CJ from the Motomavericks thread here and we both thought AntiHero is maybe the coolest guy on the whole website
    Samoadv, CJ, KHVol and 3 others like this.
  7. Col rides to france

    Col rides to france Adventurer

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    London UK, and Toronto Canada
    Dennis,

    You owe nobody an apology. Quite the opposite.

    On bad days, the only thing to do is hang on...

    In Hospital, the only hope I had... was that one day, I could wake up, and look forward to the day.
    Occasionally that happens.

    Be nice to yourself. All the best. Col.
    Fast1, Tallbastid, Blind Mule and 3 others like this.
  8. mka

    mka Been here awhile

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    474
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    Ireland
    great to hear from you Dennis !

    just a couple of pics to make you smile......

    was tripping along in europe on a beautiful sunny day when these kids happened by, and they smiled............

    [​IMG]

    and just like that, they were gone.......fleeting, but i still see their smiles and in that rare moment the world held more meaning

    [​IMG]

    life's like that, i guess.............

    rock on my man, rock on
    Scooter22, Samoadv, KHVol and 4 others like this.
  9. Stravoxylo

    Stravoxylo Been here awhile

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    Nov 21, 2008
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    LI NY
    Coming off the high of traveling mostly unencumbered is unpleasant....
    Sorry to hear about the work situation you got into, but good for you that you did the right thing. In today's world, I think many people would look the other way and rationalize the outcome. Storms come and storms pass. You weather them as best you can. Sometimes they are benign, sometimes they leave scars. That's life.
    Tallbastid, KHVol and AntiHero like this.
  10. Vrode

    Vrode Flagrant Violator

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    Vermont
    Late to this RR but got through it. Thanks for the insights and sharing your experiences. Lots of things to chew on in there. Sorry to hear of the current conundrums and hope for good outcome for you. I've dealt with the demons myself and sometimes don't see (or know) where that horizon is, but it always seems to come up and that, I believe, is what keeps me going. And also, remembering that it's usually the simplest things that provide me the most happiness. When life gets too busy I tend to forget that. Peace on ya brother. The road is patient and will always wait for you.
    AntiHero likes this.
  11. AntiHero

    AntiHero Long timer

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    Fuck, guys. I've read through all your comments and am grateful, deeply, thoughtfully grateful, to have the capacity to make anyone's life better, let alone a bunch of cool motorcycle dudes' lives. Always surprises me to visit and see such incredible comments. I'm think I'll always have a relatively unremarkable opinion of myself, so it's nice to log in and be able to get a different perspective. So thank you all. Pics of Italy to follow tomorrow....
    Tallbastid, Samoadv, ^|^ and 10 others like this.
  12. TheNetworker

    TheNetworker Been here awhile

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    Mar 12, 2014
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    Germany, Lower Saxony
    Dennis,

    I am so happy to see you return to the blog and talk to us again. I was a little worried about you over the last months. Sorry to hear it did not work to fund up some money to get on the road again.
    I am more than willing to help you in fund raising by buying one of your awesome painting about biking (and networking) or just donate some money to bring you back on road. Your story, life and thinking/writing about it is really inspiring to me - so please continue on that mission.

    And I think that I am not alone with this opinion. If you have a bike - the budget for traveling is not so high if you donĀ“t have so many duties in family, mortgage, wife, kids,....

    Hope you get focus again soon and proceed on mission.

    Greetings form the winter cold north of Germany.
  13. nosubst2

    nosubst2 Adventurer

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    Dennis, good to hear that your happy again. You had a lot of us worried. I myself look to this RR every day for a little relief from my day to day bullshit. You put yourself out there years ago and became a part of our lives and although we never met there's a bond that I feel with you. Bikers are a special bunch! No matter where I ride when I meet a biker 1000 miles from home, I can count on a friendly wave or a helping hand if shit goes sideways. What I'm saying is, if you need help were here for you. Lord knows the help and happiness you have provided over the years to many of us.
    Samoadv, Mofrid, AntiHero and 2 others like this.
  14. AntiHero

    AntiHero Long timer

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    nosubst2: I was too busy dealing with day to day bullshit! Though, the idea to blog about the bullshit I was going through crossed my mind.

    Mr. Networker: You are too kind. Miss ya, man!

    So back to Italy. 1199 visits Maranello.

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]

    Yeah, I thought it was a good idea. Funny how you realize how naive and retarded your original notion of something is once you arrive. Of course you won't be able to just show the fuck up, check all your gear, pay $20 and get into Auschwitz. And of course the Ferrari Museum wasn't going to be an empty garage filled with cars and no people. But at least the latter let me exchange money for admission without hiring a Nazi guide to control my movements.

    [​IMG]

    I won't bore y'all with too many pics. But if you're ever in the area, a visit isn't a bad choice.

    [​IMG]
  15. RedDogAlberta

    RedDogAlberta High Plains Drifter

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    Edmonton, Alberta
    Great to hear from you Dennis. You have been missed by many. I'm tempted to get into a story but fear it would never end. Suffice to say I can very much relate to aspects of your journey, although unfortunately not buzzing Italy on an 1199. Safe travels in life and on the roads.
    KHVol likes this.
  16. jerdog53

    jerdog53 Crop Dusting Everywhere

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    Do what you got to do Dennis, were here for you! :clap
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  17. NoSoup4U

    NoSoup4U Adventurer

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    Los ANgeles, CA
    Man! Dennis! So good to hear from you again. I've got to agree with the comments above, you are the coolest dude on this site! And that comes from, not only showing the beauty of the world but also from laying bare your soul. Like good music often comes out of pain and suffering, so is your ride report.
    There's a whole, silent, majority out there who are happy to see you back and that's ok. In my little world, I ran into 4 people in the last couple of years I didn't know but we connected because they were followers of your report too!
    Hold your head high and know you're not alone. You'll never be after this.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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  18. KHVol

    KHVol Long timer

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    Man, great to see you back. Like many others out here, I have been a bit concerned about how you were doing over the last several months. Being unique apparently has it's drawbacks at times. A note that may get me in trouble (... what are they going to do, cut my hair and send me to Viet Nam ? ).....I just purchased a couple of pieces of Dennis' artwork as Christmas gifts for my more interesting customers. They are stunning. Literally museum quality. Many thanks Dennis. Good to see you back.
    Samoadv likes this.
  19. KHVol

    KHVol Long timer

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    "But, as the past increases and the future recedes, I can honestly say that it's the reckless and stupid decisions I've made that I remember the most. Routine leads to regret, habit leads to unhappiness. Certainty leads to boredom. And fear? Fear kills more dreams than failure. Passion. Passion is the only force that leads to destiny. To live the life we've always dreamed of and to become who it is we know we truly are requires acting on desire, taking risks and ferociously (or foolishly) pursuing whatever it is that we love. " AntiHero - August 9, 2014

    Just read this for the 20th time, no truer words ever spoken.
  20. AllSeasonRider

    AllSeasonRider Wandering, maybe a little lost...

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    Here's the reality - most of us reading are hoping we can some day say, "fuck it" with 1% of the conviction you've been able to demonstrate. And we make up a minuscule portion of the population - the rest of them will willfully trudge along with day to day life, blissfully unaware of just how little freedom they have.

    It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. You've managed to live life in a manner of your choosing for a significant amount of time. The number of others who wish they could replicate it shouldn't add any value to your own experience, but it certainly demonstrates just how difficult of a feat it is.
    KHVol likes this.