Ruckus Rescue

Discussion in 'Battle Scooters' started by ilmostro, Aug 14, 2005.

  1. Photog

    Photog Charismatic Megafauna Administrator

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    Not all scooters have the luxurious ground clearance of the Ruckus.

    [​IMG]

    In the background you can see a little old lady on one of those mobility scooters. Cute, I thought--we'd have our two scoots in the foreground, and and the Hoveround in the background. Neato.

    She stayed there for a while staring straight down. I mean, a long time. Enough time for us to get some produce. We came back, and she was still motionless.

    :uhoh

    WTF? She's not moving. Should I go over and check for a pulse?

    I heard a faint whirring. It was either the 300w motor or her pacemaker. Wasn't sure.

    Let's zoom in a bit, shall we?

    [​IMG]

    She's high-centered the Hoveround.

    :razor

    :lol3

    Oh, okay, so it's not nice to snicker. :augie

    About the time I went over to shove her over the speedbump, one of her relatives showed up in a Chevy truck and pushed her off the speed bump, so she made it home and probably called JC Whitney to order a new bash plate and the upgraded 450watt motor.
    #81
  2. Rider

    Rider Moderator Emeritus Super Moderator

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    Jeebus, how did I miss this post the first time around? :poser :oscar :rofl
    #82
  3. RoadMinge

    RoadMinge Long timer

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    what a trio, Skewt, Photog and Depends..............what is the name of your newly formed scooter club???
    #83
  4. Marc

    Marc Just sayin...

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    Just drove up and gave her a gentle tap with the 'ol bumper, huh? What was he doing...about 30 MPH? :ear

    [​IMG]

    Inheritance City, here we come!

    :rofl
    #84
  5. Photog

    Photog Charismatic Megafauna Administrator

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    The Incontinents SC
    #85
  6. RoadMinge

    RoadMinge Long timer

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    I like it, it has a dual meaning, you could make a scooter patch for your club out of an absorbent material, colorful yet functional

    <TABLE cellSpacing=3 cellPadding=3 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD></TR><TR><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD></TR><TR><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD></TR><TR><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD><TD align=middle>[​IMG]</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

    http://www.scooterpatcharchive.com/archive/index.htm
    #86
  7. Photog

    Photog Charismatic Megafauna Administrator

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    Sorry for the hijack Ilmostro--excellent thread--but there's no SCOOTER FORUM and I already opened the door with the Granny Scooter tale.

    Raleigh on $1 worth of gas a day

    The day started out with a nice cross-town trek to a good IHOP breakfast.

    [​IMG]

    Then we motored over to the State Fairground Flea Market, to join 3 billion other people in search of really cheap junk. First stop was the joint that sells leather jackets to the HD people. The lady there is really nice and if you snoop around you’ll find some nice stuff. But what really caught our eye were the patches available. GREAT! We’ll find something just right for the ADV scooter gang.

    [​IMG]

    Oooo! This one is neato!

    [​IMG]

    Wow! Such detail. I’m sure it took some Chinese 10 year old about 23 seconds to create this.

    This is what happens when you run a bit too lean.

    [​IMG]

    This one is setting up a Buddy Tow.

    [​IMG]

    Not seeing the proper colors for our gang, we left to look around.

    I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.


    [​IMG]

    Since the HOA is being such asshats, we've been house shopping. This one is within our price range.

    [​IMG]

    I've had apartments smaller than that. :bluduh

    Over here you can let this middle-aged man draw a picture of your child for free. :patch

    [​IMG]

    Anyone see any potential problems here?

    [​IMG]

    We were having such a rollicking good time at this point looking at surplus Army clothing and overpriced Hummel knock-offs, that we almost didn’t hear the FWUMP of an elderly woman doing an endo onto the pavement. I helped drag her to her feet, and Skewt pulled a chair out from under a vendor (who didn’t want to offer the old lady the chair). The woman had apparently tripped over a dropcord stretched across an aisle. Why, O, why, hadn’t I pursued a career in litigation? I could OWN this flea market! Every last knick-knack! The poor woman had a good goose egg over one eye, her eyeglass frames had sliced open her cheek, and she had grown a 6th and 7th knuckle on one hand. :uhoh After stitching up her wounds with the suture kit included in the Stella tool kit while asking her the square root of 7.34—dammit, why is it that I always get the altered patients?--I determined that she was my best shot at either being included in her lawsuit or her will, so we got security to check her out, which made them happy because they got to use the siren on the golf cart. Hell, no, I didn’t take pics. She was a mean little cuss. Maybe Stella needs to drop down a size on those needles.

    Then again, maybe that wasn’t a suture kit.

    Giddy from our experience with the bleeding old woman, we headed over to the Farmer’s Market, where I got a beer.

    [​IMG]

    Hey, honey.

    [​IMG]

    You sweet thing, you.

    [​IMG]

    Here’s the high-centered Hoveround. You know this part already. I honestly thought the relative in the Chevy was going to try PUSHING her off the curb. “Just steer it, momma”

    [​IMG]

    Then we found this gourd.

    [​IMG]

    Fixed:

    [​IMG]

    Hmm. That must be the PUI Gourd. So after watching granny get towed off the speedbump, we rode some more.

    [​IMG]

    We went house shopping. This one was only slightly more than the one we found at the flea market.

    [​IMG]

    We liked it a lot, so we jimmied the door and tried some of the beer in the fridge. We might make an offer. We did another lap around the lake…

    [​IMG]

    ..and went home.

    THE END.
    #87
  8. Rider

    Rider Moderator Emeritus Super Moderator

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    Uh-oh. That doesn't look right. :uhoh :yikes
    #88
  9. Photog

    Photog Charismatic Megafauna Administrator

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    1-800-AMBER ALERT.




    before anyone goes postal, he had just finished sketching the girl's mom.

    Trust me, I was about to beat him over the head with the Pervert Bludgeon that's included in the Stella toolkit (right next to the Suture Kit) when I finally spotted the mom hanging around nearby.

    Whew.

    Thought we had us a gen-u-ine PRE-vert. :nod
    #89
  10. Rider

    Rider Moderator Emeritus Super Moderator

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    Whew. Me too. Glad the explanation makes sense.
    #90
  11. RoadMinge

    RoadMinge Long timer

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    I want this, I have the matching hat already, it would look awesome on my army fishtail parka,,,,,,,,,,,,


    [​IMG]
    #91
  12. VespaFitz

    VespaFitz No-good-son-of-a-bitch

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    I bet she wished the government paid for the Hoverround Adventure S model with the extra 1.5 inches of suspension travel.

    I'm glad she was just stuck. I thought this was gonna turn into some kinda "Weekend at 'Toggies" thread. :huh
    #92
  13. RoadMinge

    RoadMinge Long timer

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    [​IMG]


    did you get any pictures of the 'mommy' with beer glass motifs on her boobies?
    #93
  14. Marc

    Marc Just sayin...

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    OMFG!!! :poser Sheer brilliance! :clap :photog :lol2 :lol3
    #94
  15. Photog

    Photog Charismatic Megafauna Administrator

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    As I went closer to investigate ("hey lady...you okay?....what's the square root of 7.34?") I could see her head bobbing slightly. Click...whirrrrr...click....whirrrrrrrrr.

    She was rocking the thing back and forth, 1mm at a time, to get off the speed bump.

    It was at that moment that I thought "this will be a perfect post for ADVrider..."
    #95
  16. Photog

    Photog Charismatic Megafauna Administrator

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    Nope. Upon ascertaining that the guy had indeed sketched Mommy first, I ran like hell, because a clown had come up beside us and was making balloon animals in the shape of R1150GSA's colon. It was time to go.
    #96
  17. Rider

    Rider Moderator Emeritus Super Moderator

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    So Bert showed up, huh?
    #97
  18. VespaFitz

    VespaFitz No-good-son-of-a-bitch

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    :lol3

    She was recalling those days when she used to have to rock the LTD when it was stuck in a snowbank.
    #98
  19. Photog

    Photog Charismatic Megafauna Administrator

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    It was only moments before she was gonna yank the floor mats off that thing and shove 'em behind the rear wheels...
    #99
  20. JimVonBaden

    JimVonBaden "Cool" Aid!

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    Before! I actually saw it happen, but was too stunned to take a picture! He was only a couple feet from me when it happened.

    Jim :brow