2009-06-01 Introduction, Orders Received My ID is S.A.M., and I work as a field agent for an organization I'll just call "The Agency". Over the course of my career, some of my exploits have been so notorious the Agency's cover story resulted in a number of copycat "reality" shows in the entertainment industry. However, time fears no man, and eventually I had to retire to a somewhat more subdued lifestyle as an Agency consultant, which in realspeak means I was put out to pasture. While I was out making the world safe for democracy, there was a sea change of attitude at The Agency with the thought that we should be "kinder and gentler" in how we did our work, and this old spy-horse's rather (ahem) dynamic style didn't fit into their plans anymore. And then, one day, I received the following communique: From: HQ - Operations Section To: S.A.M. 50615 Re: Recall to active duty A mission profile has developed which requires your unique skills and background. The profile details are as follows: Agent Kilo has gone missing during a survey of agency safehouses and has not been heard from for three reporting cycles. Agent Kilo has in their possession a "package" which is critical to an Agency mission, and will become contaminated and useless unless it's located in time and returned to Agency control. Since Agent Kilo did not complete their mission, we need you to trace Agent Kilo's path and complete Kilo's mission. Time is of the essence, you have three months to bring this mission to a successful completion. Owing to your current status, the character profile we've developed for you is that of a middle-aged IT professional. Due to the nature of your mission and current budget considerations, your usual mission-spec vehicle will not be available. Instead, the motor-pool has developed a vehicular configuration which will meet both the mission requirements and our budget constraints. You will find your vehicle keys in the attached envelope. After I checked it for booby-traps, I opened the attached envelope, and found this: That could only mean one thing ...I had to make my trip with this: In other words, I was going to be a flipping two-wheeled road train! No smoke screen, no oil slicks, no heat-seeking missiles, no radar, no stealth mode, and no hot women! I suppose I could be thankful for small things, since this was a recon mission, I'd have to carry a fair bit of imagery gear with me... they actually gave me a secure way to carry it: Will wonders never cease?