San Diego to Anchorage: The Grapes of Rat

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by vermin, Jul 15, 2008.

  1. vermin

    vermin unrepentant thinner

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Oddometer:
    561
    The Grapes of Rat

    “A good plan executed violently today is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” -General George S. Patton Jr.

    “A vague plan executed on the internet while your wife is hollerin at the dumb ass cute boy on Survivor is the best of all.”-Vermin

    So there I sat in my cubicle, the American dream appeared to be well on the way into taking one of its periodic majestic swan dives into a barrel of shit and I was contemplating myself into a grade A Midwest rust bowl funk. It seemed no matter how many belligerent 400lb misdirected youths got tazed on Cops my attitude did not improve. It was time to do something ludicrous and poorly planned.

    I did the only rational thing a person concerned about global warming could do, I got on the internet and signed up to burn up liquefied dinosaurs like a frat boy at 10 cent beer night.

    Plan number A (leg 2)

    San Diego to Anchorage

    [​IMG]

    The Players

    [​IMG]

    Left to right:

    Vermin - cube dwelling geek, paws feverishly at his keyboard for 40 hours a week trying to exceed his internal and external customers increasing expectations (so that the occasional food pellet will fall on his cedar chips in a sick experiment in behavioral psychology that has B.F. Skinner smiling behind gods one way mirror). Notice original Cack has a minked out gas tank circa 1995 predating the stunt boyz furred out stunt bikes by at least 5 years.

    Drifter - innocent victim of last summers adventure. (http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=265019)

    Dollbaby - saw the light of day for the first time 9 minutes after drifter in 1994. 3.5 lbs of high class lady. The first time I met her she grabbed my thumb like a throttle. Her little translucent fingers were so small they didn't make it all the way around. I was informed last winter that she wanted to go on an excellent adventure. With my adventurin bike stuffed in Unks garage in San Diego near the border of Mexico that left only one logical choice, Anchorage.
    I thought the county family services agency would take her away from me for doing such a brutal trip so I tried to talk her down to a leasurely putt to Seattle or Missoula but she was having none of it. Game on.


    Cohorts of sorts
    [​IMG]

    Ant - A good woman in trying circumstances. Her sister married this clown that keeps showing up and messing up her routine.

    Unk - Nice guy, big shooter, no doubt filled in his vacation request online without printing it out and scribbling all over it. The world needs people like this. He can pay attention to stuff for hours and he has been well rewarded. Needless to say my entire scenario makes him kweezy (sp)*

    *my daygum computer tells me when a word is spelled wrong with those cute skwiggly underlines and then doesn't tell me how to fix it so let this be the big spelling disclaimer. Nearly every word from here on out will be misspelled at my leasure.

    Stay Tuned
    #1
  2. Mileater

    Mileater Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2007
    Oddometer:
    379
    Location:
    Christchurch, New Zealand
    Been waiting for this one for a while... :deal

    I'll just hang onto the back and you can take me for another brilliant ADV ride :D

    Cheers :freaky
    Allan
    #2
  3. KHVol

    KHVol Long timer

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Oddometer:
    2,570
    This is gonna be good......
    #3
  4. Thylex

    Thylex Adventurer

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2008
    Oddometer:
    33
    Location:
    Southern Sweden
    Im in :ear

    :lurk
    #4
  5. out rider

    out rider You Go First

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2006
    Oddometer:
    972
    Location:
    IN PROTECTIVE CUSTODY
    Somebody get the lights...
    #5
  6. F16Viper68

    F16Viper68 Trapped in the Sandbox!

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2007
    Oddometer:
    868
    Location:
    Crawfordville, FL
    Well there goes this weeks productivity. Again I've been sucked into the swirling vortex known as "Another Excellent Ride Report!" :clap

    Can't wait for this to get going.

    Dave...
    #6
  7. Frostbit

    Frostbit Is it cold in here?

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,050
    Location:
    Eagle River, Alaska
    :lurk
    And thanks for the hand crafted hats Vermin, they'll be put to good use.
    #7
  8. zadok

    zadok Long timer

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,044
    Location:
    Western Australia
    Love the high tech map!:D Have a good one.:lurk
    #8
  9. longrider999

    longrider999 Long timer

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2008
    Oddometer:
    1,414
    Location:
    new london,wizconzin
    vermin,it gets worse after 50.do it all RIGHT FREEKING NOW.good luck with youre trip.looking forward to RIDING along in the armchair!!!!!!!!!!!
    #9
  10. Watercat

    Watercat . . . gravity sucks

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2006
    Oddometer:
    1,745
    Location:
    Beervanastan, Duwamps Pacific NorWet
    This is going to be GREAT ! ! ! ! ! :lurk

    In !

    :lurk

    :lurk

    :lurk
    #10
  11. DELTATANGO

    DELTATANGO Motorcyclist and Dog Walk

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2005
    Oddometer:
    14,392
    Location:
    Alabama
    I thought it was something like...

    A good plan executed violently now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.
    #11
  12. Flash9677

    Flash9677 n00b

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2008
    Oddometer:
    2
    Location:
    Great Lake State
    In preparation for our first cickle trip, I cued up your report from last year for my wife to read. After she stopped giggling, wiping away the tears and catching her breath, she told me that if I try any of that s*** with her this trip, I'll wake up singing saprano.:eek1

    I'm riding along vicariously.

    Write-on bro.
    #12
  13. Bigger Al

    Bigger Al Still a stupid tire guy

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2004
    Oddometer:
    8,290
    Location:
    Auburn, CA
    I can see now that my ribs will be sore for the next few installments. Again.:lol3

    Bring it on, Vermin!! Your public awaits................:bow :freaky
    #13
  14. RedRocket

    RedRocket Yeah! I want Cheesy Poofs

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2003
    Oddometer:
    22,891
    Location:
    SoCal
    Count me in!
    #14
  15. ruh roh

    ruh roh hey Yall

    Joined:
    May 13, 2008
    Oddometer:
    296
    Location:
    Central Ark
    yeeha!

    (whatd your bro in law ever do with that ugly thing you left on his doorstep?)
    #15
  16. bongodave

    bongodave Intellectual

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2006
    Oddometer:
    47,735
    Location:
    Fabulous Eerie, Indiana!
    Wait! I gotta get some more beer... and popcorn.:lurk
    #16
  17. Klay

    Klay dreaming adventurer

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2005
    Oddometer:
    106,190
    Location:
    right here on my thermarest
    :lurk
    #17
  18. YZman

    YZman Bouncing off Trees

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Oddometer:
    1,132
    Location:
    Meeeechigan
    YES!!!

    Fellow cube dweling, vstrom riding michigander here. Ive been waiting a looong time for this one. Ride on Vermin ride on.

    Watch out for those Gristly bears:clap
    #18
  19. EvilClown

    EvilClown Reality show stunt double Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2006
    Oddometer:
    17,412
    Location:
    In the shadow of the Uncanoonucs...
    Ahhhhh...life is good.

    :lurk
    #19
  20. 2000RSV

    2000RSV Go Fast, Go Long

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2007
    Oddometer:
    3,087
    Location:
    FDL, WI
    You are a motivation to all Dads. Thanks for the report.

    :lurk

    J
    #20