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Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Colebatch, Oct 18, 2012.
"See Terry, NOW it's a real adventure. It's just like we saw it on the Charlie & Ewan DVD"
"What is Terry saying to Rod in this infamous foto - as they get driven across 2 inches of water?...."
2 inches? It was a terrifying 4 inches!!
Terry had to have a lie down after the fear had passed, whilst I fanned him and fed him from his supply of lark's tongues and figs, His Magadan bags are like feckin' Fortnum and Masons.
Me? after all this abuse I'm suffering Post Traumatic Stress and will need to sue everyone who's heaped this foul slur on me and the Plucky Mr Brown . for their own good of course.
It rained much of the night and when we awoke it was staill raining and very overcast with a threatening sky. This through a break in the cloud
We all lay in a little longer than usual to see if it would clear but it was pretty obvious that it was in for hours at least, and maybe the day.
We all packed up in the rain and went down into Tsakhir to see if we could gas up and get some breakfast.
We went into a little cafe and one of the guys went to the counter and asked if they were serving anything to eat. The woman replied that they were, so we went and sat down at a table and awaited the waitress.. and waited...and waited. Eventually one of us got up and went for a look to see if they were doing anything for us-sometimes you don't get a choice-just whatever they happen to be cooking.
They were sitting talking and clearly doing nothing for us to eat. WTF?. The question was asked again if they could cook something and then they realised-YEEEESS! we're asking if you're serving because...we'd like something to eat..it wasn't a rhetorical question or a feckin' social lubricant! Now all hell broke loose and they scampered about stoking the fire and making coffee, it was the awful (IMHO) instant Mac stuff..3 types of powder..milk, sugar, coffee-ugh!-but beggars etc etc. Eventually we'd got something but it was so excellent (NOT) I can't remember a damn' thing about it. I think I've mentioned Mong cuisine's shortcomings before.
No wonder they can fight-If I had to eat the awful food they do I'd want to beat the bejasus out of someone.
Oh for even some
Still...on the bright side their beer is excellent. Gimme the Chingis!!
We left the cafe and assembled on a gas station to water the horses.
Today's destination was Tsetserleg, a couple of hundred miles away so a single fill would get us there. We gassed the bikes up and all pulled off the forecourt with Terry in the lead and left heading east...after a couple of hundred yeard he did that "turn around " signal and about turned...so we all did likewise. I thought he needed to talk but he set off a quite a lick-in exactly the wrong direction.
P, B and myself all stopped after a hunderd yards realising he'd misunderstood the map and waited for him to stop, as he'd check his mirror soon enough and realise he was alone.
The road was arrow straight for about 2 kilometres and we 3 stood and watched the brave T ride off solo into the distance...and disappear. "Oh well...he'll be back in a minute" was the general consensus.
After half an hour he still hadn't come back. WTF?
Eventually he reappeared looking somewhet sheepish, to much hilarity and mocking. and we set off yet again...but this time in the right direction.
The rain was pissing down and the road was absolutely appalling. Very wide...maybe 20 yards but with savage corrugations and ENDLESS enormous waterfilled holes maybe 5 metres wide and 3 metres deep, sometimes fully across the road. You truly could lose a car in them. This was a war of attrition and it went on for hours. I haven't a pic but hope P has.
There wasn't much oncoming trafiic but any lane discipline was forgotten as cars, trucks buses were careeering all over the road just trying to pick a line that was navigable. The edges were often better but had deep washouts so could be very dangerous. The bikes were taking a real hammering and we were not much better.
Occasionally there might be a 20 metres wide grassy verge that we'd ride on and just get entirely off the road, but eventually that would peter out and we'd need to scramble back onto the road via slippery or rutted mud. Sometimes the road surface was lethally treacherous and I can't believe none of us took a dive on it.
"Eventually he reappeared looking somewhet sheepish, to much hilarity and mocking. and we set off yet again...but this time in the right direction. "
And what words did he utter on his return? "Oh sorry Rod, you meant THAT Tsetserleg." or some such nonsense
What with hitching lifts over raging torrents and getting temporarily geographically embarrassed the lad has gone up in my esteem. Well done son
Have a look at the front wheel of the truck ... If thats more than two inches, I am Genghis Khan !
in your unseemly haste to mock that fine (tho' directionally challenged) Mr Brown and his reluctant but supportive co-passenger, you've overlooked the obvious:
The mighty Bongo was a) overloaded with a couple of mildly overweight 42 year olds ( EH? EH? what are you suggesting) and their bikes, and b) the driver would have the pedal to the metal and all 53 hamster-power would be straining and raising the front wheels ..a bongo wheelie if you will. .... hence the APPARENT shallowness of the death-trap torrent. Mr B will I'm sure back me here. We may be forever traumatised by the experience.
"We are going to get nothing but shit for hitching this ride..."
"Yeah, but if Walter gets hurt and one of us has to 'fill in' for him in Moscow, we won't need a shower now!"
There isn't much good to say about the journey to Tsetserleg, the rain continued to fall and although we weren't crossing any rivers, we'd all put on cold wet boots that morning after all the river crossings the previous day so our feet were wet and cold all day and the thousands of puddles only served to keep them topped up nicely. Lovely. .
Fortunately-ish we couldn't really go over 40 and usually much less due to the savagery of the corrugations so we weren't too cold.
After we'd stopped for lunch (maybe P has a pic of the cafe -I'm still on iPics) we hauled in to a little layby in the early afternoon. These biscuits are available it seems just about anywhere and they were sometimes just what the doctor ordered.
Beware of Dutchmen bearing gifts, unless they're biccies in which case...I don't mind if I do!!
Terry was as ever lurking on biccy-patrol and had mugged one off P as he'd passed.
The day had warmed up marginally and the rain was looking as if it might stop?...bring it on
Whist we were checking the bikes, eating the biccies, having a pee and chatting (bear in mind we didn't do all the above simultaneously or I'd get a job in the circus) a 4WD came in to the layby and the guy recognised we were talking English so came over to say hello.
He was a Korean ( as I remember) business man talking American English, but his daughter was at university in England studying Business.... eh?...so the converstaion took on an air of surreality. A Korean talking English to a Scot, a Dutchman and woman and an Englishman in Mongolia. Maybe it's just me ...
He chatted for a few minues then hopped in th 4WD and splashed away.
The weird thing about the layby and this locality was-it was heavily forested. Very unusual indeed in Mongolia where you could conceivably pass all the way through the nation and not see a tree.
Just a few hundred yards after this we bumped up on to a tarmac road..HALLELUJAH!!!
We could now wick it up a little and continued along towards Tsetserleg.
Terry just thought he was invisible but no, everyone saw him!
Rod you're Scottish so you can be Ewan....I'll be a right Charlie when Walter finds out what we've done!
Look Rod, let's ignore the fact you're riding a KTM, lets pretend we're sponsored by BMW to do this Siberian Road of Puddles
Ok guys how many times are you going to re-post the picture of the blue truck Look I referred to it without posting the picture.
That's what I love about ride reports, you never know what your going to learn along the way.
Rod your so right mate, this dirty water would have completely ruined our pedicures !!<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>
Great Report and Epic Report
Take one more step back Terry and I'll get a great "Adventure" picture for our fans!
"We will just tell everyone the bike broke, no one will ever know,,,,,,,, we're in Mongolia"
"Don't tell anyone, or believe me, I will damn sure convince Walter it was YOUR idea! And where the hell are the biccies you promised me anyway??"
"Rod, Wait until those ADV wankers read the Ride Report! They'll be salivating, never knowing that we trucked them all the way across Mongolia!"
This is how Ewan and Charlie would have done it if KTM had sponsored them.