Something For The Girls

Discussion in 'Alaska' started by Alcan Rider, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. Alcan Rider

    Alcan Rider Frozen Fossil

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    From HERE

    While this was addressed to lady bicyclists, it surely applies equally to women who ride motorcycles:

    DON'TS FOR WOMEN RIDERS

    Don't be a fright.
    Don't faint on the road.
    Don't wear a man's cap.
    Don't wear tight garters.
    Don't forget your toolbag
    Don't attempt a "century."
    Don't coast. It is dangerous.
    Don't boast of your long rides.
    Don't criticize people's "legs."
    Don't wear loud hued leggings.
    Don't cultivate a "bicycle face."
    Don't refuse assistance up a hill.
    Don't wear clothes that don't fit.
    Don't neglect a "light's out" cry.
    Don't wear jewelry while on a tour.
    Don't race. Leave that to the scorchers.
    Don't wear laced boots. They are tiresome.
    Don't imagine everybody is looking at you.
    Don't go to church in your bicycle costume.
    Don't wear a garden party hat with bloomers.
    Don't contest the right of way with cable cars.
    Don't chew gum. Exercise your jaws in private.
    Don't wear white kid gloves. Silk is the thing.
    Don't ask, "What do you think of my bloomers?"
    Don't use bicycle slang. Leave that to the boys.
    Don't go out after dark without a male escort.
    Don't without a needle, thread and thimble.
    Don't try to have every article of your attire "match."
    Don't let your golden hair be hanging down your back.
    Don't allow dear little Fido to accompany you
    Don't scratch a match on the seat of your bloomers.
    Don't discuss bloomers with every man you know.
    Don't appear in public until you have learned to ride well.
    Don't overdo things. Let cycling be a recreation, not a labor.
    Don't ignore the laws of the road because you are a woman.
    Don't try to ride in your brother's clothes "to see how it feels."
    Don't scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run.
    Don't cultivate everything that is up to date because you ride a wheel.
    Don't emulate your brother's attitude if he rides parallel with the ground.
    Don't undertake a long ride if you are not confident of performing it easily.
    Don't appear to be up on "records" and "record smashing." That is sporty.

    Are you paying attention Duchess, Kul Mom? :wink:

    :lol3
    #1
  2. Kul Mom

    Kul Mom aka sKul Marm

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    No, I'm not! :fitz

    -KM
    #2
  3. KHuddy

    KHuddy Big Sky Country

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    Jack, Is this your version of suicide by cop?
    #3
  4. Alcan Rider

    Alcan Rider Frozen Fossil

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    I'm hoping it will all be forgotten by the time roads are dry again in the spring. :cob
    #4
  5. KHuddy

    KHuddy Big Sky Country

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    Doubt it.:norton
    #5
  6. Kul Mom

    Kul Mom aka sKul Marm

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    +1
    #6
  7. AK Bob

    AK Bob AKAM

    Joined:
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    Fairbanks, AK
    Have a SHMBO.

    Or his SHMBO has Failed in his training.

    Going further could get me in a bind.

    DILLIGAFF

    They all arn't Republicans or ... But THEY Never Forget!

    Be Very Gratefull That D2D is where it is.. But

    Watchout for Cougars and Hockey Stik's. They can be mean as snakes!:evil
    #7
  8. ADVBMR

    ADVBMR Polygamotorcyclist

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    Jack-
    That's from 1895. Nowadays the question is, "What do you think of my thong?" Maybe HD can explain. I've heard about her dancing on the picnic table.
    #8
  9. Tosh Togo

    Tosh Togo Long timer

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    You don't know women very well, do ye, mate?... :1drink


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    Note: that was "know", never to be confused with "understand". :rofl
    #9
  10. KHuddy

    KHuddy Big Sky Country

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    Unfortunately, the question is all to often, "What do you think of my man thong?"
    #10
  11. Gezerbike

    Gezerbike Hey Rocky...........

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    Everybody knows this is nowhere......

    http://www.hisroom.com/thongs.aspx :eek1

    Maybe Barb could make up a sheepskin version ?

    :lol3:lol3
    #11
  12. willys

    willys Long timer

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    Gawd Damn it...I should have known better!!! Where's the bleech??? Man thongs.....boy they look comphy??? I only just got used to the undie's with legs in them......now these ball bags!!! Not in my lifetime!.....:huh:eek1
    #12
  13. Kul Mom

    Kul Mom aka sKul Marm

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    Jack-

    You know, Amy and I are not the only girl riders in this group. I noticed that you did not pick on Barb. Or do you only pick on redheads?

    -KM
    #13
  14. Alcan Rider

    Alcan Rider Frozen Fossil

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    At this point I realize that my cut-and-paste skills, while rudimentary at best, still exceed my judgment when it comes to using same. Therefore I will - hopefully wisely, and certainly belatedly - plead the Fifth from here on out. :deal
    #14
  15. HayDuchessLives

    HayDuchessLives Loquita

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    Hey - didn't you read all the "do not's?" I'm obviously NOT supposed to talk about my bloomers, so that probably includes thongs. But I wasn't wearing a thong when I danced on the picnic table!

    However, like those earlier-generation, brave and intrepid women, I wear short skirts with my bicycle shorts and jogging leggings, and if somebody tried to remove my skirt (without permission :evil ) they would open up a big can of Granny Gone Wild Whoop-Ass and they would sure regret it!

    Kul Mom - obviously AlcanRider has lost his "Handsome, Intelligent and Charming" adjectives and is just a plain old Geezer, with, as he admits, rudimentary skills.

    :lol3:rofl

    It's -18 at my house and I'm getting ready for yet another day of backcountry skiing. :eek1 Supposedly it's 3 degrees where we're skiing, and should warm up to 10 degrees. Yippeee!!! It's kind of ironic how single-digit temperatures can feel warm. We even saw the sun yesterday - which was nice! I'm making a crockpot full of soup that we can enjoy after skiing, to warm up our innards.
    #15
  16. legion

    legion Pope's Nose

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    You say this like it's a clarification or an alternative usage for soup. :1drink

    ...and Jack, uh, I turned a couple of pages in that book you're looking at. There are some jim dandies in there. I'll be looking forward to your next informative post. Tell us about this next page.


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    #16
  17. Alcan Rider

    Alcan Rider Frozen Fossil

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    Err... somehow I have gotten the distinct impression that the ladies on this forum are not exactly receptive to the admonitions from publications of that era :thwak so I will quietly retire from my short-lived role as advice columnist lest I find myself in greater peril. :jinx
    #17
  18. KHuddy

    KHuddy Big Sky Country

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    Too Late.
    #18
  19. Alcan Rider

    Alcan Rider Frozen Fossil

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    You keep saying that. Is that meant to serve as a warning? :grim

    Had I best pack my bags and leave no forwarding address? :hide
    #19
  20. HayDuchessLives

    HayDuchessLives Loquita

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    We were semi surprised to learn it was -9 at the trailhead, not 2 degrees, as posted on the Internet. We still went skiing, enjoying powder snow and great scenery. There were four women and only two men. My son said the guys are smart and stay home, but I said they’re just wimps! :nod It warmed up to a balmy -2 by time we returned to the trailhead three hours later.

    As I was skiing back to my car, I pondered what caused the thermometer’s false reading posted online, as it seemed strange that other trailheads posted temps ranging from -24 to 0 (up high at Glen Alps). <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:eek:ffice" /><o:p></o:p>
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    (The women will love this explanation. :ear ) <o:p></o:p>
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    It’s quite obvious, upon utilizing the advanced analytical skills involved in blonde/redhead logic, that the thermometers must all be males and are sometimes eruditely dysfunctional (suffer from E.D.). Or, maybe the mercury in the one malfunctioning thermometer had shrinkage problems in the cold temps, causing a higher temperature reading. The male thermometers are probably also puny, only 3” or 4” long, and exaggerate and say (or believe) they’re 6” to 8” long, possibly causing false info/readings. I learned long ago that sometimes males exaggerate about things, so I shouldn’t be surprised a male thermometer exaggerated the temperature to entice me to come skiing. :lol3 (Like I need much enticement to put my skis on.... :D) <o:p></o:p>
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    Or, maybe some of the thermometers are Geezers (semi-old relics), with rudimentary skills, which, combined with senility and a gift of gab, can cause false readings. :rofl:rofl<o:p></o:p>
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    Here’s a couple photos from today, taken in the S. Fork of Eagle River. We skied back towards Symphony Lake at the end of the valley, an easy trip to help me get back in shape. <o:p></o:p>
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    Here’s a photo from yesterday, when we skied part-way up Glacier Creek in Girdwood, where it was a balmy 6 or 7 degrees!!! I was the only female with seven men, kind of like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, except my guy friends are big and strong, not dwarfy.

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    Here's a photo from last weekend, when we tried skiing up into Bird Creek Valley. The snow's about the deepest I've ever seen it back there, and it was a chore breaking trail, even with six strong skiers. And it snowed at least another foot since we were there, so of course we'll go back there again. We do a traverse from Arctic Valley to Bird Creek in the spring (29+ miles), so we try to keep the trail packed on the last 7 to 9 miles of the trip. Once again I've enlisted the help of a couple of park rangers to go in with chainsaws and remove some of the downed, big trees on our trail!

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    Life is good - especially with homemade soup to warm me up at the end of a cold day!

    I told AlcanRider that he didn't lose all of his adjectives; he's still Gregarious, Humble, Modest and Superfluous.

    :lol3:rofl





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    #20