Aint a big pig fun in a world meant for little toys? I remember one trip long ago where I was quite exhausted. Fell over gassing up the vastly overloaded Magna. Had to unload it to get it up. Heaved until my eyeballs were popping, only to drop it over on the other side. Think I cried a little at that point. It's one of the reasons I have an old XL500, I can pick that bike up all day long if I have to. Seriously, a few things do come to mind reading your story. The bike is too big and heavy for you and the conditions. Someone else may well have been comfortable on it, but you weren't. So for you and the conditions, it was too much. Listen to your instincts. They were warning the heck out of you throughout your story thread, but you weren't paying attention. You kept answering your own concerns with a two word answer, and that answer frequently doesn't bode well. Stop. Sometimes just stopping and sitting still for half an hour to recoup your breath and energy will help things tremendously. Walking off rather blindly frequently doesn't work well. Use a compass (no batteries or sats required!), use the suns location, use the stars, use ground lights, etc. And yes, I agree, a paper map is a wonderful thing to have. Again, no batteries. So go do the ride again, alone, but better armed now. Nose into some of those trails, think, and really decide if you should venture further, or back out and stay on a milder journey. And there's nothing wrong with going milder. I'd rather cover 50 miles pleasurably than 5 miles horribly.