Noob submitting his first ride report. Hero #1 myself Hero #2 Tobi Hero #3 Tobi's neighbor The story begins a few months ago during the depth of winter when our Hero#1 calls up Hero#2 and says "Hey, lets qualify for an Iron butt ride". For months we theorize, argue and plan our route over malted beverages. Should we go east? Na, sun in our eyes to and from. Should we go south? No, then we waste 2 hours of riding time because IB rules says you either travel in miles or kilometers, but not both. Should we go north? Na, not enough gas stops and a circular route isn't possible. West it is. When should we go? Well, lets maximize daylight and go close to summer solstice. Done June 17 it is. Here's our planned route, Basically Winnipeg to Saskatoon, return Breaking 2 IB tips, booze the night before and coffee the morning of. 7am Hero #1 rides a 99 cheap KLR. This passes for a pre-ride inspection Hero#2 rides an 1983 GPz550. He was extremely busy the last 2 weeks before the ride putting the motor together after doing some work on it. It was nightly work but in paid off in the fact that he was able to join me on the ride. Hero#1's dashboard. GPS to get him going the right way, watch to get him there on time, a spreadsheet to see if we're on schedule, and 2-month old baby at home who wants to see him come back in one piece. Hero#2 thinks he's sitting on his camelback mouthpiece, therefore creating a wet arse. Photo shoot at The Narrows. A narrow tract of land/bridge in the middle of Lake Manitoba. An intelligent conversation with a young lad at the site went like this: Child: Whats that? H#1: This (Camelback straw). Its a straw that goes to a waterpack on my back, like a backpack Child: Why? H#1: In case I get thirsty Child: Why? H#1: **confused look* Child: **notices shoulder badges of FG Kili** Are you a cop? H#1: No It started raining shortly after our stop at the narrows. We had woken up to a beautiful day though. H#2 had his saddlebags stolen 2 days before our ride and neglected to replace his rain pants. A few miles down the road H#2 realizes his house keys are missing from his keyring. Oh well, nothing we can do about it now. Mechanical Stop#1: A semi passes the other way nearly blowing off H#1's radiator shroud. A quick stop is made to completely remove it and throw it in the duffel bag. Had this really been Kandahar, Afghanistan, I'm sure that would be some sort of IB record (nevermind dodging bullets and minefields), however this is Kandahar, Saskatchewan. Weather is still raining or threatening to do so. About 1pm Lunch stop in Yorkton, SK Raining, fairly miserable, and running into a stiff headwind for the last few hours coming into Saskatoon, H#2 hears a POP from the motor and his top speed lowers to 90km/h. H#2 is cold and wet, so we hit a Zellers so he can buy some warm and dry clothing. And more oil. Checking out the bike we see the oil that's supposed to be on the inside, is now on the outside. Choice words are spoken the IB gods. Limping at 75km/h, we travel to Regina. The GPz is puffing smoke like a 1970s factory and I pull him over when it suddenly gets worse. H#2 checks the oil again and tries to start the motor - no go. More choice words for the IB gods. He pushes it down the highway and she fires up. I restart my bike to join, pull in the clutch and POP. DAMMIT. More choice words for the IB gods. Hmmm what did I read on ADV to do in this situation . So I find neutral, run the bike and she fires when I shift to 1st. By the time I catch up Tobi he's back riding on the shoulder. The worst part of this is that I bought a clutch cable in ADVs flea market and left if at home thinking Its a highway trip, what are the chances . Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. Arriving in Regina at 10pm, we discuss our options. A rescue vehicle (H#2's neighbor) will start the 5 hour drive West to get us. We will travel East as far as we can to shorten the drive. H#2 buys more oil, his bike is burning 1.5 litres every 40kms. 40km out of Regina It is now dark, the rain is hampering visibility even more and we are traveling at 75% of the speed limit. That meets my 3-strike rule for safety and I have to call it a day. H#2 is wanting to drive further, but I refuse. At this point risk wins over reward and we would only have ourselves to blame if things went from bad to worse. No, lets stop, relax, and wait for rescue. The only open establishment is a bar and we welcome the warmth of heat and rye+coke. A bachelorette party at the next table thinks we are the evenings entertainment (strippers) and raise a glass in our honor. Murphy isn't done with us yet. Our rescue vehicle is stopped for speeding. His sob story of saving our asses gets him out of a ticket. The bar is now closed and we sit in the rain for 2 Hours waiting for our ride. H#2 leaves his bike on the side of the road as a sign for where we are. It falls over twice on the wet gravel shoulder and the RCMP walk it over, we stop them and have a friendly chat for a few minutes. Rescue truck arrives with little gas and stations are closed, gas is taken from the GPz Rescue truck needs rescue when trying to load the bikes. An hour of work frees it from the muddy ditch. It is now about 4 or 5am. It is still raining. Murphy was done with us, but the women of our Heros were not understanding. H#3 went to save his buddies but due to the distance and stuck truck, missed his ETA at home and therefore some important family engagements. I dont know how this ended, but H3, we are very grateful and will make it up to you and the wife. H#2 was treated to a day of cold shoulder but has since kissed and made up. H#1 was welcomed home with "'I'm just glad youre alive, you're never doing that again". I'll take it if it means I don't have to live with a homecoming like #2 and #3. Bed of Shame: Up for 29 hours, its time for bed with little bee-bop. The next SS1600K will have to wait until next year.