Stupid questions people ask you when stopped

Discussion in 'The Perfect Line and Other Riding Myths' started by cold_fire, Apr 13, 2009.

  1. Mambo Dave

    Mambo Dave I cannot abide.

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    One has to - 90% of the commuters from New Jersey are clueless about how to pump their own gasoline, never mind about checking the oil, tire pressures, or cleaning a windshield.

    We even had a full-service station in the middle of Pennsylvania - in State College next to the Penn State Campus - that pretty much catered to visiting New jersey-ites.
  2. GI_JO_NATHAN

    GI_JO_NATHAN Long timer

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    Sep 23, 2010
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    Middle GA .....Aparently....
    Some sort of book smarts, but no common sense...?
    Officer material for sure. Lol
  3. jtw000

    jtw000 Survivor

    Joined:
    May 18, 2009
    Oddometer:
    657
    I once had a guy point to the brake reservoir on the handlebar and ask if that's where I put the petrol.

    I had my bike still set up with touring mods from Europe between another refit when a cop asked me why my bike was modified. I told him I was setting it up to ride it overland to Asia. He laughed at me and asked if I knew they had planes now.

    I pulled up on my BMW in Bangkok. Very loud pipe, and I was dressed in armoured jacket, gloves, boots and helmet. As I stepped off, a motodop taxi driver ran up and asked if I need to rent a taxi.

    I was in India and got very interested in the Enfields 500s. I saw a nice one and asked the guy if I could sit on it. He said it was fine so I sat down and my mate took a photo. Then a very irate Indian ran out of a shop, flailing his arms and screaming at me not to steal his bike...
  4. toy4fun

    toy4fun GET out of the way

    Joined:
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    Beautiful downtown Roy, WA
    I work at one of those Joint Base places only ours is run by the army. They started hiring ex army people to stand the gates so i would get some momentum up on my 23 year old Transalp and hit the kill switch just before the gate. Glide in quite as a mouse! Most of these guys are young and have never seen a Transalp, it never failed they would comment on just how quite it was. I would look at them straight faced and tell them it was electric, you know, battery powered. They would always be impressed and give me back my ID at which point I would hit the start button and drive off. Fortunately, these guys have great sense of humors.
  5. Bikenstitches

    Bikenstitches Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2010
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    634
    Location:
    Northeast CT
    Toll gate attendant at the TZB last night, as I pull up on the Tiger w/dual headlights and Piaa auxiliaries; "Why doesn't your bike have amber lights in front?"
    Me-"What?"
    Him- "Amber lights. You don't have any amber lights."
    Me- "I don't know."
    Him- "Think about it."
    Me-"Umm,ok." As I pulled away he yells out "Amber lights!"

    :huh
  6. pretbek

    pretbek Long timer

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    SE Pennsylvania
    Well of course he did. Amber headlights were mandatory on cars in France until the '80s. That's why.
  7. melville

    melville Long timer

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    He meant "amber lamps."

    If'n you go on riding that dangerous moorsickle, you'll need to call the amber lamps.

    From this.
  8. señormoto

    señormoto Supermoto Abuser

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    California + Costa Rica
    nicely done, haven't heard that one in a while. :lol3
  9. XR4EVER

    XR4EVER 919 excuses to ride!

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    I never saw that before. Old beard-man really put the smack-down on that guy!
  10. Spacelord

    Spacelord Mutha Mutha

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    Dawsonville Ga.
    He's lucky he needed amber lamps and not a mo-tishun, that old guy was serious.
  11. FloorPoor

    FloorPoor Been here awhile

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    Feb 10, 2010
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    Spudville, Idaho
    ^ cool vid, Santa Clause can kick some ass!

    I had a (kinda) stupid question last week. I was starting a week+ long DS trip, but the first 300 miles was all highway to meet with a friend in Boise. I went to a bike shop to grab a couple spares for the trip, but my KLR was waaay overloaded with extra luggage on the back for my buddy, a fresh front I was going to spoon on that afternoon before we headed out for the real trip, plus my large home made soft panniers that were loaded for 10 days of bike camping, with tent and pad strapped to the top of them. And the usual KLR tool tube and tank bag. A guy in the parking lot in a cage with wife and kids wanted to shoot the breeze while I was getting ready to head out. Talked about the KLR he used to have etc.

    He asked, "Do you live off that bike?"

    I kindly explained I was carrying a bunch of extra shit for my gear poor friends bike, was on my first day of a trip, and was mounting the tire that afternoon.

    Considering my homeless looking beard, my ugly, beat to shit, faded to pink KLR, with about 75 lbs of extra shit tied on, I thought the question wasn't too stupid, but it made me chuckle.

    Little did he know that if I had no family to support, I WOULD live off the bike :D
  12. PalePhase

    PalePhase Humour Noir

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    That's neither here nor there
    :rofl:rofl:roflClassic!

    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Ft-d0QQutnk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
  13. majlee_vmi

    majlee_vmi Tidewater 41009

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
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    Shenandoah Valley of Virginia

    You ever had a whole platoon of MPs under your command? This is typical until they make E7, then the light switch seems to come on...
  14. kbuckey

    kbuckey Long timer

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    I have to say my favorite one with an MP did not involve a motorcycle.

    I was at Fort Carson and heading to the Company one morning from the BOQ. It was cold and there was ice on the road. I was driving my old Saab 99 with studded snows on all four. Came to a stop sign at a T intersection. Looked both ways. Saw the MP car coming from the right but I had plenty of room so I pulled out to the left.

    Next thing I know he lit up so I pulled over. Unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and slid off the road down an embankment, about 10 feet, to the right. I got out of the car looked over the side of the embankment and asked him if he was OK. He said "Yes, sir. But, sir, it's icy out here and you've got to be more careful!"
  15. David R

    David R I been called a Nut Job..

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    Riding with a group on my new R1200R. We were not into triple digit speeds but every corner was a hole shot. Guy behind me on a 600 says "your bike has a lot of torque" I just smiled and said thank you. He could not catch me every time.

    Sent from the phone in my shoe. Maxwell Smart.
  16. CheesyRider

    CheesyRider Been here awhile

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    Aug 13, 2010
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    541
    I filled up my FJR earlier today. When I went inside to pay, I asked for a car wash (they have one of those high pressure touch free automatic car washes). "You're going to take your bike through the car wash?!", the cashier said in amazement. I laughed and told her I planned to take my van though the car wash tomorrow.
  17. oz97tj

    oz97tj Been here awhile

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    Fenton, MI
    hahaha. That's the definition of a retard.
  18. Draechon

    Draechon Long timer

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    Location:
    Charleston, SC
    Recently at lunch, I was walking back to the Bandit from a restaurant. A guy in a lifted F-150 pulls up next to me before I get on the bike and asks if I'm about to leave. The parking lot is pretty small for this place, and crowded during lunch. I respond in the affirmative. He turns to his passenger and says, purposefully loud enough for me to hear, "I hate how all these m*f'n motorcyclists think they own the roads, now they're even taking up our f*n parking spaces."

    I yell over, "Where else to you expect me to park?! They don't have designated motorcycle spots here." "Well, you coulda parked on the f*n sidewalk!"

    Not wanting to continue the downward-spiralling exchange, I resumed my leaving of the lot: I put on my helmet and gloves, started the bike, decided now was a good time to organize the trunk, shut the bike off, took off my helmet and gloves, messed around in the Givi case a bit, re-dressed, started the bike, decided to listen to some tunes, so took the helmet off, pulled out my phone, checked my email, looked for some music, put in my earphones, helmet back on, and slowly continue on my way. All told, probably added only 3 minutes to my departure, but 3 minutes is an awful long time to be an angry redneck waiting on a parking spot. :deal
  19. Spacelord

    Spacelord Mutha Mutha

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    884
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    Dawsonville Ga.
    You have more patience than me...
  20. SnowMule

    SnowMule [angry moth noises]

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2009
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    Location:
    I LIVE IN A GIANT BUCKET
    Dinner at texas roadhouse last night
    Rode the 525. Since I was going through the city, I knew I could hop in the HOV lane and blast past all the slow cages through town, and I'd much rather be on the bike than in the truck.
    Get to TR, buddy just pulled in. Lock up the bike, helmet in hand, jacket, boots, etc.
    Table's ready about 10 minutes later, gal seating us nods at my helmet, "You ride? Crotch rocket?"
    I laugh, "No, dirt bike." That kinda jammed her thought process....
    "Like ... street bike?"
    "No, like dirt bike. Covered in mud, bumpy tires... dirt bike."
    "Oh..."

    I still don't think it sunk in all the way. :lol3