Stupid questions people ask you when stopped

Discussion in 'The Perfect Line and Other Riding Myths' started by cold_fire, Apr 13, 2009.

  1. ZaethDekar

    ZaethDekar Been here awhile

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    SHHH, don't tell people that. It is so much more fun when people show up thinking we have Starbucks or Seattle's Best.
  2. atomicalex

    atomicalex silly aluminum boxes

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    The number of coworkers who ask me if I rode in because the weather is nice is exploding.
  3. KG6BWS

    KG6BWS Been here awhile

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    Its amazing how many people ask me that while still sitting on the bike.
  4. PalePhase

    PalePhase Humour Noir

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    That's neither here nor there
    I think the most stupid questions I've heard have come from some of the imbeciles in the office where I work. I guess that it isn't really surprising that in a day and age of people in general seeming to recognize few boundaries and respecting even fewer that any personal article brought into the workplace becomes a de facto show-and-tell item, but I have noticed that in particular that motorcycle gear really seems to fascinate hoi polloi everywhere. With few people in my office riding these days (most who did have retired or been RIFed), that means that every knuckle-dragging, curious dolt who happens to pass by my office seems to feel compelled to squeeze the armor in the sleeves of my jacket like a roll of Charmin, all the while gaping in wide-eyed astonishment to ask "Whutz in that sleeve? Whyz it feel so funny?". A couple of them have even put it on without bothering to ask if it were okay. :umph I have learned to keep a straight face through my conniptions.

    Mostly recently, the galoot who just moved into the cube next to me strolled in with his bag of microwave popcorn and despite my telling him repeatedly that I was about to join a teleconference in which I had to present to several people at multiple pay grades above me, even as I was putting my headset on and going off mute this dumbass reached over my head to take my helmet off the shelf over me, turning it over and over and fiddling with the visor release while babbling something like "How much duz somethin' like this cawst?" I had to remind myself that a rather large audience would have have heard me if I had voiced the first thing that came to mind, which was something like "Every drop of blood in your stupid body if you drop it." I felt a strong urge to beat the hell out of him, but pity stayed my hand. "It's a pity that there are so many potential witnesses around here," I thought to myself. Of course, riding home in the drizzling rain, I thought of him often, specifically everytime the glare of oncoming headlights hit the greasy smear he left with his grubby palm. :dog
  5. the_sandman_454

    the_sandman_454 Been here awhile

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    Should've thrown him under the bus to the several layers of people above you, ie, "stand by, _____________ seems to feel the need to be in my cubicle trying to disrupt this meeting, please excuse me a moment while I serve an eviction notice."

    I still can't believe how many times I get the "you rode today" when it rains, is cold, etc. Uh, yes, I enjoy it, so unless it is threatening to snow/be icy, the bike is broken and I'm waiting for parts or I need to haul something that won't fit on the bike, I'll be riding.
  6. PalePhase

    PalePhase Humour Noir

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    That's neither here nor there
    Good idea. Instead of trying to pretend everything was going smoothly on my end, one or two VPs could have been on the phone with his VP to ask why his cretin was running around unsupervised. :deal

    Oh, he's also one of those with the pathological need to make simpleminded small talk. Every time it rains... "Didja ride the bike today?" (My response in the affirmative is what triggered his insatiable urge to inspect my riding gear.) Every time it doesn't rain... "Good weather for riding, ain't it?" No, I'm not comfortable riding in direct sunlight. That, garlic, and wooden stakes through my heart are all things my primary care physician has told me to avoid.

    *Edit* Turns out there is a whole thread devoted to this topic.
  7. jnclem

    jnclem True Airhead

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    On a recent trip across Wyoming, while I was packing up at a motel in Riverton, a young local kid, maybe 14, was eyeballing my old R100GS. He asked, "What are those things sticking out the side? Is that the engine?" I explained that it is a horizontally opposed engine, and that those were indeed the cylinders. He stared at it for a minute, and then came out with, "Have ya ever got grilled?" I stared at him for a while, and finally managed, "Grilled?" "Yeah, grilled by those things sticking out like that. You know, git yer leg against 'em and get grilled?" I chuckled, said "not yet," and kept packing. Nice kid, at least he was thinking.
  8. Jamie Z

    Jamie Z Long timer

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    That's a great story!

    I started a new job a couple months ago, and the place has roughly 1000 employees. There's dedicated motorcycle parking in the lot, and I seem to be the only one who rides. Once or twice I've seen another bike parked, but almost always mine is the only one.

    So... I'm already the "motorcycle guy."

    So the other day a coworker comes up and asks me what kind of bike it is. He tells me he's got a VTX 1300, but he doesn't ride it to work because he doesn't have any luggage like I do. He's referring to my 45 L Givi topcase that I keep on the bike all the time. I carry my work clothes in it, and then store my riding gear in it while I'm working.

    He tells me that he was over looking at my bike and commented on the topcase, "It looks like one of those bikes that you'd use to ride around the world."

    And then he adds, "I don't mean that in a bad way." :rofl

    Cool thing was is that he expressed some regret over buying a cruiser since he said he can't go a lot of places he likes to ride since it doesn't have any ground clearance and the tires aren't up for gravel.

    Jamie
  9. oz97tj

    oz97tj Been here awhile

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    Its funny you mention that. It's pretty common to talk with people who may make dumb statements about my GS, but then offer up wisdom how great their bike is in one breath but then in the next mention how they wish it could do things that mine can ultimately complaining that its not versatile enough. :huh
  10. WVhillbilly

    WVhillbilly Long timer

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    I know what it is, have only heard it used in reference to horse racing.
    That is the speed range for cruisers in my area tho, so It would be about right.
  11. Chad_NC

    Chad_NC Long timer

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    That doesn't sound stupid. That sounds like a future bike rider looking for a BMW :)


    You got this via Crapatalk :D
  12. mneblett

    mneblett Professional Lurker

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    [I know what it is, have only heard it used in reference to horse racing.]

    Easy to remember variation that usually puts brains into a tailspin:

    Furlongs per fortnight.
  13. XR4EVER

    XR4EVER 919 excuses to ride!

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    I like to tell temperature via Kelvin. :D
    It is 300.37° here today! :jkam
  14. PFFOG

    PFFOG Richard Alps-aholic

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    I count my age in Mars years, That makes me 30!!!:freaky
  15. XR4EVER

    XR4EVER 919 excuses to ride!

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    :lol3
  16. David R

    David R I been called a Nut Job..

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    I park my 2012 red R1200R on the sidewalk at my girl friends house. It was garbage day so her can was on the sidewalk too. I pulled right up to the can and went inside. Two reasonably well dressed men were looking at the bike. Girl friend asked if she could help them. They asked what she was doing with the motorcycle like it was out to the curb with the garbage. We both got a good laugh.
  17. C/1/509

    C/1/509 Why?

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    You're throwing this out? Funny...
  18. SloMo228

    SloMo228 World Class Cheapass

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    I actually got my very first bike this way - a neighbor down the street had put an '86 Yamaha Radian out on his curb with the rest of his trash. I saw it riding my bicycle home from school one day, and almost kept riding past because I figured who'd throw out a motorcycle? But I decided to see what the deal was, and the guy was out in his garage cleaning another bike, so I went up and asked him if he was really throwing out the Radian. He said yes, it had been sitting forever and he'd just bought a new Harley (the new bike he was cleaning) and his wife was making him get rid of it. So I pushed it down the street on flat tires, ran back and forth from my parent's house to his a few times grabbing all the parts, and after about 40 minutes of effort and $0 spent, I had a motorcycle! :clap
  19. davidbeinct

    davidbeinct Been here awhile

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    Yeah, I got a great question from a young kid once, I think all kids are smart up to a certain age. My dad had a shop he kept out in front of a trailer park, and I used to work on my bike there. A young kid, maybe 9 or so, was looking at my SuperTrapps with the end caps and asked how the smoke gets out. It was a good question based on observational skills and thinking for himself. I felt sad that all his older friends he was hanging out with were already well on their way to full-fledged mouth breather status. I hope that kid somehow avoided their fate.

    David B.
  20. DOGSROOT

    DOGSROOT OUTSIDE

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    Hot Damn SloMo, you really do live up to the tag line under your screen name!!!

    Cool story. :thumb
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