swamp: Mexistan and Central Bunghole

Discussion in 'Epic Rides' started by swamp, Apr 24, 2013.

  1. swamp

    swamp U lie&yo'breff stank

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,919
    Location:
    lower appalachia, Alabama
    I've just returned from riding The Yucatan to Panama.
    I'll begin with a brief photo/video introduction then will get more detailed as I move through the report.


    The bike: "Window Licker" . Just Window for short. 2012 BMW G650GS Sertao.

    Its been slightly warmed over.






    stripped:





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    no need for a speedo:


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    modded out:




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    YZ forks, suspension by house of horsepower, 18"excel in rear 21"excel front, superlaced by Woody's, ABS delete and put on a diet, etc look at the youtube video info for a full (almost) list of modifications.






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    i usually ride smaller bikes





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    I had already ridden a 225 across the USA in the dirt: The Flesh Eater Route

    .. and through Baja in the dirt (tecate to cabo): A Fist Full of Baja


    so i figured i wouldn't bore myself or waste my time riding from Alabama, through Mississippi, Louisiana and then through the never ending state of Tejas. I would just ship my bike to the Yucatan Peninsula then fly over and ride from there. So that is exactly what I did:





    I built a shipping crate for the bike :

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    loaded it up into The Danger Ranger:


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    drove down to the fake south... AKA Florida.. land of the Floridiots. Face it, you know its true.


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    unloaded at the port (which is a border zone and requires cool name tags and plenty of stamping and signing)


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    I then had to wait for a phone call. the bike needed to be inspected and clear customs along with other export documentation and logistical blah blah that i will go into detail about here: enduroearth.com

    so, two days later they call me tell me that "Window" has cleared customs and will ship out in two days. i buy my air ticket and get my shit together:


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    ....hit myself in the knee with a chainsaw while cutting single track...

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    ...continue to get my shit together, everything is going into a 2013giant loop great basin bag and two giant loop dry bags. i decided against the rotopax for this trip, but will carry it on the South American leg of the journey :








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    GIANT LOOP









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    I will review this bag further at the end of the ride report. Ill also review all the other gear, gps maps, mods and kit that I used. just because I enjoy reading about gear just like the rest of you do.



    so.....
    stay tuned for:





    big bikes in small elevators






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    beers of the world and stories of well traveled freakazoids






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    one bloody arm




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    solo jungle madness









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    barbaric innovation using extremely sharp utensils








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    multiple... exploding things in Los Zeta's drug cartel territory

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    ...and PLENTY of lazy, foot dragging, don't-wanna-work, border officials !


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    CHEERS YOU QUEERS ! FYYFF & HERE WE GO :ken
    #1
  2. MrPulldown

    MrPulldown Long timer

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    Can't wait
    #2
  3. Throttlemeister

    Throttlemeister Long timer

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    :lurk

    Did you leave the bike in Panama for the next shipment to Colombia:ear
    #3
  4. ADWrider

    ADWrider AKA Acorn27

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    Sweet. Love me some Swamp reports.
    #4
  5. GRinCR

    GRinCR Oppressed Nomad

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    Alajuela, Costa Rica via MN.
    Hell yes!
    #5
  6. Strange Rider

    Strange Rider n00b

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    As much as I like to hear all the wonderful things about trips to foreign places, it's nice to hear someone's true words. Tell the good and the not-so-good. I don't want to read a "travel magazine" account of a wonderful trip, so say what you think. Good beginning!
    #6
  7. Ginger Beard

    Ginger Beard I have no soul

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    Oh shit, IN!!
    #7
  8. swamp

    swamp U lie&yo'breff stank

    Joined:
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    howdy Sir martin


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    trying to skip to the end SOONER... than everyone else are we :lol3

    as far as the NEXT shipment to colombia, thats not going to happen. Ill be back there to get the bike some time next year! around February at the latest. im sure customs is going to shart themselves about the bike being there for that long but fuck it. how else am i supposed to do this?
    #8
  9. woodly1069

    woodly1069 Long timer

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    Louisville, KY...really too far from the hills!
    Another swamp adventure! AND I caught it early on! :freaky Proceed YFF!
    #9
  10. woodly1069

    woodly1069 Long timer

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    Louisville, KY...really too far from the hills!
    Hey swamp, forgot to ask, why not the little yammer hammer?
    #10
  11. KiloBravo

    KiloBravo Armchair Adventurer

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    YeeHaaww like a Swamp report.
    #11
  12. dave6253

    dave6253 aka. dave62538675309

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    I've been in a bad rut of finding the good shit way to late, but am delighted to get in on the beginning of another trippy swampy trip.:D
    #12
  13. V@lentino

    V@lentino Inspektor

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    :lurk oh yeah!! :lurk
    #13
  14. swamp

    swamp U lie&yo'breff stank

    Joined:
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    My son, Forest is three months old. He was born January Second 2013. At some point between that date and April second 2013 I decided that I would strip my BMWG650 GS Sertao of its stock equipment, build a capable machine that would take me across Central and South America, crate and ship the completed motorbike over sea from Panama City Florida to Progreso, Yucatan Mexico at which point I would fly from Hoover Alabama to Merida Mexico; then catch a taxi from Merida to Progreso. From there, I would ride the bike to Panama City Panama, Central Bunghole.

    Step one: Destroy One, Perfectly Decent Motorcycle&#8230;
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    Step Two: Build a Better Bike (hopefully) Out from the Wreckage
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    I located a shipping company over the Internet who would walk me through the entire process. It was very confusing to me. I had shipped a motorcycle over sees previously but had never done an international shipment before. It requires the bike to be exported from the home country and then imported into the destination country. There are all different kinds of documents that are needed. Honestly it&#8217;s a big pain in the ass. The wood that the shipping crate is made from must be a specific type of heat cured wood.. yea, like that.








    Tool Kit
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    Journal from 4/2/2013
    I crated the &#8220;window licker&#8221; today then hired a fork lift to load the crated bike into the bed of my Ford Danger Ranger.

    I drove to the port in Florida. According to them; the place is a &#8220;Border Zone&#8221;. I thought it was pretty high security. Had to have a name card pass made and then be escorted by another vehicle. Paperwork, money; over $850 to ship the bike, $150 for the fork lift.








    Shipping the bike:
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    I booked a flight to Merida Mexico which is just South of Progreso. On April Fourth 2013 I get on an airplane wearing my motorcycle gear (sans boots), sit in the chair and realize, shit here we go again.








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    Once I land in Merida i need to get a taxi north to Progreso, find the shipping office and make an effort to get my bike before they close for business.. and find a hotel for the night.. and get some pesos.. or something.







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    the taxi driver ends up helping me out a lot. he drove me around to 3 different banks trying to withdraw money off my debit card. non of them worked which was strange to me because i had called the card company and told them that i would be traveling out of the country. i had some cash so he drove me to this place in town that sold electronics like TVs, stereos, computer etc. In the back of the store they had a woman behind glass that exchanged my dollars for pesos. i think the rate was something like 11 pesos / 1 dollar. "sounds good to me" . Ok now I have money to pay the taxi driver with.

    he drives me around until we find the shipping office.
    they are closed, its 15:00 (well shit). I tell him to bring me to a hotel that is close to their office. I stay here: its 300 pesos/ night. hot water, air, big bed. I mark a waypoint on my gps unit.










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    Buy beer, drink beer:

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    go next door, get a haircut and a beard trim. i really enjoy having my beard trimmed in different countries. especially in asia, where its rare for the barbers to encounter such nappy gnarl. at the end of my borneo trip i walked into a barber shop and the malaysian women didnt know what to do! i ended up giving her a lesson in beard trimming, later i realized that it wasnt that she couldnt do it, it was that she didnt want to get close to the back of my head because it was caked up with dirt and peeling sun burn. but whatever.. anyways.









    Progreso, Yucatan. later that day:





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    I go back to the hotel and try to get my thoughts together for tomorrow. it will be a busy day dealing with unknowns surrounding my bike...

    I try to get some rest and look over my maps:






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    #14
  15. swamp

    swamp U lie&yo'breff stank

    Joined:
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    hey dave. glad to have you along. i really enjoy your reports as well.
    #15
  16. swamp

    swamp U lie&yo'breff stank

    Joined:
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    you mean the chupacabra! lol. that bike has been retired from touring. its up on a cenderblock with no chain, 8 broken spokes and a clapped out motor (second motor) and snaggle tooth sprockets. every now and then i will look at it and remember the past. its like a friggin crystal ball man!
    #16
  17. swamp

    swamp U lie&yo'breff stank

    Joined:
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    April 10th 2013-progreso

    I get up early to go for a walk around the city. I tell myself that if I cant leave by 12:00 ill just stay another day here in progreso. there are not very many people out in the mornings here, or after 17:00

    I like watching things wake up. people just wandering around, enjoying the morning. getting ready.




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    this old man had this old woman in the front of his bicycle push cart. she was sitting in an old lawn chair. i found it interesting. these pushcarts are everywhere here.


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    hmmm... communism giving hope ? is this suggesting that communism gives hope :huh


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    ....because when i think of communism i think of this:


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    At 9:00 im waiting in front of the office as the first employee gets there.
    I give him 10 minutes before i start hassling him. I get all my paper work out to show him what im here to do. he gets another lady that can speak really good english. she tells me i must first go to Banjercitos (or however its spelled), its the government bank here in mexico that deals with this sort of thing. I have to go get my permit which costs $400 dollars. I have to show them all of the proper import documents. I walk across town to the bank with my pile of red tape. I can tell this is going to take a while.


    It takes me a good hour setting at the bank to get my permit papers. I then walk back across town to the shipping office to confirm i have all the correct papers.

    Outside I get a taxi to bring me to the pier/ port authority/ checkpoint station. unlike on the American side (point of origin, shipping point) the mexicans have military personnel with full body armor and automatic weapons. The taxi driver helps me communicate with the guards. I have to go over to a window. leave my drivers license with a guy who then gives me a piece of plastic with yarn attached to it (my pier pass).

    i get back in the cab, wave it at the guard, he asks to see my bike permit and passport i show him both, he raises the gate. taxi driver tells me this is one of the largest piers in the world. the reason it is so long is because the water is so shallow here. they had to build a road (he tells me its 12KM long and i believe him) out to deeper waters so that the freight liners can dock. its pretty cool. there are huge concrete blocks that flank the road all the way to the end. seriously pretty cool.




    He drops me off at where im supposed to go. I have to show my pass again to another guard who points "that way". i wander around until another guy points at a door that has a sign on it. the sign is in spanish and i can tell it says "authorized personnel only". I open it and stick my head in, the people inside give me a what the fuck look so i pull my head out and close the door.

    a guy in a red hard hat points at the door like: "yea thats the right door just go in". so i walk in and give the first person i see a big pile of shipping documents and my passport. i suppose im in the right spot because they begin doing and typing ... stuff.







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    i set there for an hour.
    they tell me to go to a different room and talk to a guy at a table.
    i have to pay some more money, i cant remember how much it was but it was anywhere from $15-$50 dollars.
    i wait for 15 minutes.



    they unload my bike outside, its like seeing my dog after ive been away. makes me super happy:







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    my bike shipped over the gulf of mexico on this:








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    of course this calls for a celebration of food and beer!
    ride around town, settle on a place next to the beach because one of the waiters runs out in front of my bike and demands that i eat there. ok. easy enough.






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    Tecate is my favorite beer. I love them; they goes down so easy. i could drink them all day long.
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    this was awesome.


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    At this point it was past 12:00.
    figured i would just get drunk, eat nachos then leave early in the morning. no rush.








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    ..........next time:
    kapooyah kapooyah, well thats fucking wonderful, los llantera messiah, .. not again and trepidation
    #17
  18. Comrade Art

    Comrade Art Working stiff

    Joined:
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    Enjoyed your Cambodia trip and looking forward to this report :thumb
    #18
  19. woodly1069

    woodly1069 Long timer

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    Louisville, KY...really too far from the hills!
    Oh yeah we're almost on the road:clap
    #19
  20. team ftb

    team ftb Befuddled Adventurer

    Joined:
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    Swamp are ya gonna be slinging dirt on this trip a majority of the way:evil? Or will it be lots of pavement, 50/50?
    #20