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Discussion in 'Face Plant' started by aTuWitty, Dec 3, 2013.
Good luck with your recovery, i hope you nail the twat that killed Harvey!
Dude.... how did you get along with your wife?
Hope thinks work out with you, bike, wife or wife2 if necessary.
As it turns out, I DIDN'T get along with her!! Apparently, her yelling at me, drudging up ancient faults over and over again, and telling me that I'm not a good person, all while I'm smiling and nodding and contemplating how to make her happy, ISN'T a healthy relationship. Who knew???
Purchasing a gorgeous 1999 XR650L with plenty of go-fast goodies TOMORROW! And I'll be finalizing the transaction on the Ninja 650 later this week. Sure, it's not as convenient as having a full on do-it-all bike, but I'm looking forward to better offroading!
sounds like a good combo to me. riding is therapy in its own way, so healing up enough to ride is a great landmark to shoot for.
The bike can be replaced (actually it looks like you are well on your way to replacing it). You need to concentrate on healing. It will take longer than you want but is worth it. Follow your doctor's advice (and your P.T.s as well) as it pays off in the long run.
Get a lawyer. It is hard (almost impossible) to come out whole financially without one in this type of accident (no, I am not a lawyer).
As to the (ex)wife, been there done that. My first wife and I just didn't work out. She is on her fourth husband now, I am on my second wife (33 years and counting). Just these numbers say volumes. What I am saying is if you decide that you like being married, pick a better spouse for your next marriage. It pays off. You will still have fights from time to time but all in all it is worth the hassles. The joys outweigh the bad times.
Doug in Kentucky
Heal up strong and get healthy before you get to riding again. I commend you on your spirit of getting back on your 'horse'. Some say the knee was God's little joke and I hope yours heal up well but consider that Ninja won't be too kind to your knees for a sustained rides. But do what you gotta do. :)
And as an aside, it really bugs me the way insurance companies destroy the title of a vehicle based upon cost of repair. I'm referring to that Ninja tip-over-turned-salvage-title, the Strom looks done for. Oh I understand the all mighty dollar aspect to it, but I would like to see some middle ground where if a frame is left intact you don't destroy the future title of said vehicle. Once a title is stamped with 'SALVAGE' it cannot be changed and that affects getting it insured properly if at all. Not long ago I made a nostalgic purchase of a 1984 Honda Interceptor 500, reminded me of high school..etc. Had I knocked it over in the driveway and somehow cracked the fairing and claimed it, the insurance company most definitely would have found it cheaper to junk/salvage than pay to repair it as it was in pristine condition. Ok done belly-aching about that part.
Again, glad to see you're healing up aTuWitty and keep your riding spirit alive. Take your time and do it right. Good luck.
Just went through a similar divorce. Still hurts, but needed to be done. I too have an XR650L ('06). Just sold my '99. Come on over to the XRL thread.
If I ever get divorced i will never get married again. They blame us for everything and often teach our kids to do the same. Watch tv, and on every show the husband/father is depicted as the dumbest man in the world.
In the movie "As good as it gets, a woman asks Jack Nicholson's character how he writes about women so well. He said, "I think of a man, and take away reasoning and accountability". Lol
My father is a 30 year veteran divorce attorney, believes that marriage to an American woman in this day and age is the dumbest thing that a guy can do.
Happy that you are healing up and that you are still riding. At least she talked you into the bike.
Just came across this thread, and am sorry to read of your troubles...been there, done that, got the T-shirt, at least with respect to the wife/divorce thing. Having to go through that covers the entire range of emotion, I think...disappointment, sadness, anger, wtf?, loneliness, self-worth issues, and on and on. But it sounds like you've got a great handle on things, and kudos to you...get healthy and strong, and ride into the sunlight...
Thanks, Doug (from Doug in CA ). It's been an interesting experience, overall. I learned about 6 months ago that my ex remarried, all of 11 months after the divorce was finalized. I, on the other hand, have been dating (or at least, attempting to date ) the woman of my dreams for the past 9 months. I kid you not, swinging-for-the-fences, out-of-my-league type of woman. Scholarshipped in Division 1 NCAA Volleyball all four years of college, got a bachelors in two years and a masters in the last two, crazy smart, all kinds of fun to be around, gorgeous like you wouldn't believe. Here's to hoping, eh?
When I got together with my ex, I had really REALLY low self esteem, and I suppose I told myself that I didn't think I'd ever find anyone else who would date me. She wasn't anything near what I wanted physically, mentally or emotionally (she pursued me). I say this not to disparage her, but as an attempt at objectively looking at my younger self through (hopefully) more experienced eyes. I grew to love her, flaws and all, but I didn't start out with anything more than a desire to love and be loved in return. I now know better, hence my attempts to woo the aforementioned dream girl
I've been reading through that thread (and posting a few of my own questions). I'm at page 2800 or so. Unbelievable amounts of knowledge in there! Condolences on the divorce, mate. They say it's the second most emotionally traumatic thing someone can experience in their lives, next to the death of a spouse. I can't speak to the validity of that, and I think it'd be extremely difficult to quantify pain of any sort, but I do know that it's an awful feeling. My heart goes out to you.
I agree that our society has the unfortunate tendency to automatically rubberstamp the male as the bad guy in these situations. I have a coworker who is going through court proceedings over custody of his children with his ex-wife. He's about the nicest guy I've ever met. I wouldn't use this assessment alone as basis for a judgment, but he has told me and shown me the evidence he has collected in dealing with his ex-wife, and the way the courts and therapists are handling it is horrifying to me. He has documented so many awful things that she has done, and yet she has not been held accountable for one of them. She, meanwhile, says anything she wants about him, without any evidence or documentation, and it is taken almost as if it were armor-clad evidence. Very sad.
I'm (thankfully) on the other side of most of it. I'm moving on with life, got a different career track going (I realized that my last one was motivated by the desire to get a job near her family so she could be happy, and now that it's out of the way, I can choose something that I really want to do instead of what is convenient for her), and I'm really enjoying being me and doing what I want to do and what fulfills me.
As far as the accident is concerned, we're moving forward. My arm is still painful, my shoulder sometimes severely so. The nerve function hasn't really improved at all, which is a bit of a bummer, but life goes on. I can still function decently well. I can't pull my wallet out of my pocket with my right hand, and that's annoying like you wouldn't believe!!! Since I can't extend my fingers with any kind of strength, they are scrunched inwards when I push my hand into my pocket, so I can't grasp the wallet itself. My grip strength was unaffected, but it's useless if I can't get a grip on it in the first place. I've also lost a good deal of supination (rotating the forearm) which is quite annoying (especially when turning keys, for example).
It could be worse, though.
My YZF600R project is coming along. I have the motor out of the donor YZF (bent frame from when my friend got hit on it in October), and I should have it into the new YZF by the end of this week, and then I'm off riding again! (Hopefully... if my knees don't hurt too much).
Witty, sounds like things are working out well for you.
First of all, though, we need to see pix of this hot lady you're talking about.
I dated a Div. 1 volleyball player in college and believe me, those gals have got it going on in so many ways.
And the problem with pulling your wallet out if your pocket with your right hand should help you save some money. Trying to look on the positive side if things here, bro.