The Mexican Titty Bar Tour

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by LaOutbackTrail, Jan 5, 2009.

  1. LaOutbackTrail

    LaOutbackTrail Certified Smartass

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    The plan- Visit every titty bar that we could find. Ride in between.












    Got you! Now enjoy the thread!!
    #1
  2. LaOutbackTrail

    LaOutbackTrail Certified Smartass

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    Two of us planned a trek into Mexico. We just got home yesterday evening and I had over 12GB worth of photos and video to sort and edit. The video... jaja... not even started.

    Two of us planned the trek. Three of us went on this adventure. Our stallions were six fifties. Nearly 150 combined horsepower.

    We kicked ass on this ride because we are bad mother f*ckers. We did what they told us not to. We camped with coyotes howling outside our tents. We plucked cactus thorns from our boots and tires.

    #2
  3. LaOutbackTrail

    LaOutbackTrail Certified Smartass

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    We'll have two authors for this ride.... here be me.

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    #3
  4. LaOutbackTrail

    LaOutbackTrail Certified Smartass

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    Here be Richard on his seisciento cincuenta caballo-
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    oh wait... thats just a friendly Mexican.
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    Here is Richard.

    And Don Quixote himself. Clueless as ever. Slow and steady. He fought off killer cactus windmills with a hunting knife.
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    #4
  5. soren_dk

    soren_dk Long timer

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    this thread is pointless without the pictures :evil
    #5
  6. wide

    wide Been here awhile

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    Yup Im freezin me chebs off here in Wales, could do with some warming sights:D
    #6
  7. LaOutbackTrail

    LaOutbackTrail Certified Smartass

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    Night number one brought us to McAllen,Tx. 10 hours for Jim and I. Richard, although he lives in Houston, drove down from around Kansas City after visiting the in-laws for the holidays. 18 hours in the car for him.

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    Day two. We run all the way down to the border.
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    "You SOBs are slowing me down... don't you know your bank can get you the money before hand?!?"

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    Not too late...

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    But now it is. LOCK AND LOAD!

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    Bienvenidos a Mexico!
    #7
  8. schismatic

    schismatic Been here awhile

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    great title and great start!

    have me laughing already.
    #8
  9. banjopete

    banjopete broke, student, lurker

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    this could get interesting :lurk
    #9
  10. jackanory

    jackanory I am Jack's wasted life

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    This thread definitely has potential.
    #10
  11. freeflow

    freeflow get in or go in

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    ok, hoping this went better after your last experience :thumb :lurk
    #11
  12. LaOutbackTrail

    LaOutbackTrail Certified Smartass

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    Back from a quick commercial break to go pay the 'lectricity bill.

    I'll give some details on getting across the border. GO AS FAST AS POSSIBLE! Make an S-curve so the bullets miss your head.
    Thats the bullshit for all the bullshitters sitting at home right now.

    The truth for those who are wanting to get going south, do as follows.

    I highly recommend getting your vehicle permit online. It only costs about $20 more to do it that way, but should save you a good amount of time.

    On the flip side to that, you must still get your tourist permit (visa) which costs $230. That's pesos. But Jim reckoned it was $230 bucks. Poor Don Quixote.

    This process may only hold true for the Hidalgo crossing.
    1)Go to the Migration counter, give em your passport and they give you form.
    2)Fill out paper.
    3)Have copies made at next window.
    4) Go to Banjercito window and pay your dues.
    5) Go back to Migration window and have passport stamped. "Bye-Bye. Vaya con dios!"

    Being cute obviously helps you with the process.

    Welcome to Mehico.
    #12
  13. LaOutbackTrail

    LaOutbackTrail Certified Smartass

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    Yes. Welcome to Mexico. The land of drug runners, angry Mexicans who hate Americans. The land of burros and goats on the road sides. Horse and ass drawn buggies holding up traffic. A place of crazy drivers. A place where you can pass cars in a curve, or a line of cars slowing for topes. You can just about do what you like with little restriction. Yes. This is Mexico.
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    T-I-M. This is Mexico.
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    Ok, well the first sentence can only possibly true. I have never met so many friendly people in my life. In this state, coming up on a car while blasting down a dirt road only gets you a dirty face and a bit of aggravation. In Mexico, everyone pulled over to let us pass. Most even gave a friendly honk and a definate wave. T-I-M.


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    Our first day in Mexico was great. The maps dont match the roads worth a crap... so our navigation was left up to richard and his E132 GPS mapset... he'll give you a speil on that later
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    Has your wife ever wondered where your winter time oranges come from? Give me her number and I will explain in great detail.
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    We even had a great lunch.
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    We had no clue exactly what the meat was, but who the hell cares? It was red meat, char broiled to perfection. Add a little lime and a tortilla and its bliss.



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    Oh yeah. Bring it on, Bitches.
    #13
  14. sc-razor

    sc-razor Long timer

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    I'm in:1drink
    #14
  15. Ilikepivo

    Ilikepivo Banned

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    Has there been thought towards a "pay-for-nips" portion of advrider? :rofl

    This is going to be a great RR!
    #15
  16. ADV Fool

    ADV Fool Been here awhile

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    :clap :clap :clap

    Good start, keep it coming. With luck, we're headed south of the border in March. I'm ready to read/see more now please.

    :topes :stupid
    #16
  17. Starstriker

    Starstriker www.transasia.se

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    No tits so far? :ddog
    #17
  18. LaOutbackTrail

    LaOutbackTrail Certified Smartass

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    We left off with pavement, a curve, and a sharp drop off. We finally made it to the mountains near Montemorelos. MON tay Mo ray LOS. A zig and a zag later we meet our first switchback.

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    Go this way for dirt. Yes. This way Richard. Not that way.

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    Good dirt. Great dirt. Don't eat dirt.
    #18
  19. Ensey

    Ensey KLR Combat Touring

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    #19
  20. LaOutbackTrail

    LaOutbackTrail Certified Smartass

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    This senor came up to check out my caballo. I told him he had a beautiful view from his casa... he says "no."
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    Old shoes. Nu shews.
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    Puente de Dios
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    Enchiladas suizas. good shtuff.
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    Feliz navidad and prospero ano nuevo.
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    Us three and then a few guys with backpacks from monterrey.

    Thats the first day in Mexico. Amigos.
    #20