Tres Amigos y Puppy Porno

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Ryman, Apr 3, 2011.

  1. GISkev

    GISkev wwfsmd?

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    BRP: no compression = valves out of spec. I just did my valves after about 1000 miles and the intakes wouldn't jiggle. exhaust were fine. this is the reg, and the way we honk these things i'm sticking to the recommended 600 mile interval (except i loose track, since sometimes that's a day and a half)

    vide0: Hick, those bovine don't know ADV sign language.

    SPIDERS: backpacking around the Yucatan years ago, I'm waking up in my hammock strung up in a palapa (sp?) and it's warm so i'm sleeping in the buff, and i peel back my light sleeping bag and one of those huge spiders dropped from the thatch roof directly onto my BALLLZZZZZZZZ!!!! I sh!t you not that i levitated out of the hammock w/ the shear terror of that thing on my nutz. Did it look at my junk and think it was a threat?! I don't know, but my reaction got everyone else out of bed in a blink and it was jumping around on everyone's packs and people didn't know whether to jump back into their hammock or defend their gear, and scared enough to not even notice that my package was still exposed. :eek1
    #81
  2. Roostre

    Roostre Discombobulated

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    The spider thought it was his mommy! :lol3
    #82
  3. brad21

    brad21 We have a pool... and a pond.

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    You dudes are hilarious. Well done.:freaky
    #83
  4. Ryman

    Ryman Been here awhile

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    Actually it was another totally kick ass day of Baja mania! For some reason I have very few pics from this day, so I'll just bore you with some blah blah blah.:D

    We rode south out of San Ignacio and I was glad to leave Camp Spiderville. :eek1 I was surprised to find the road heading south paved for many miles??? It was killing my buzz at first, but then I realized that I didn't give a squirt of piss about what surface I was riding on. I was in Baja, living a dream that we had been planning for a year! I remember having this overwhelming sense of freedom. Standing up. Cold air chilling my bones. Is this moment even possible?? Excellent!

    As we hit the dirt Edog realized he had an oil line that was about to rub through. We searched around and found some spare parts on the side of the road to fix it. This was about the third time that we had found needed parts on the side of the road. :eek1 Gotta love Baja.

    We rode for a long time without stopping. Nobody wanted to start the pig again. Dirt roads, faded to rocky trails, and then to sand track and wash. I remember the first silt bed. I rode through it thinking that sucked. I rode for another 30 min or so because the trail was so fun. The my sense of responsibility kicked in and I stopped to make sure my amigos were still with me. They were. :D

    We rode a bit further and finally saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time. We hit a main road heading south to San Juanico, but not before passing a small ranch house. I noticed a satellite dish and a pimped out Ranger. An old Mexican dude flagged me down and handed me a note. The note was all about how he was poor and his well had gone dry and his cows were dying and blah blah blah blah. I was about to get off the bike so I could kick him in the balls when I see hick shrug his shoulders and give the guy a couple hundred pesos. We ride off and I'm a little embarassed about my flash of temper. I'm glad hick gave him some money. I think we were riding through his ranch.

    Then within about a three mile stretch, we have all sorts of trouble. Hicks bike gets siltafied, I eat total shit doing about 60, and Erock gets a flat. WTF! BTW a little advice about riding in Baja. Just because the road is straight and inviting doesn't necessarily mean you should be hauling ass. In fact I think I had just gotten through telling hick about how I like to ride at a controlled pace for safety and blah blah blah when I took a total header. I paced off my body slide at 28 meters and feel very very lucky to not have even one scratch on my body! My ribs were sore on both sides for about five days, but other that that I was totally fine.

    BTW I would pay big money for video footage of Kev's balls getting attacked by a spider!:lol3 That is some funny shit!
    #84
  5. Ryman

    Ryman Been here awhile

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    South of San Ignacio.
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    Scorpion Bay
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5623133346/" title="IMG_2405 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5184/5623133346_7e984baa91_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="IMG_2405"></a>

    Footpeg Carnage
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5622547961/" title="IMG_2406 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5106/5622547961_5e549f2612_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="IMG_2406"></a>

    Palapa Wrenching Session
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5622548993/" title="IMG_2407 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5101/5622548993_831a87764d_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="IMG_2407"></a>

    The doc performing surgery.
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5623136396/" title="IMG_2411 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5023/5623136396_e323743613_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="IMG_2411"></a>

    Valve Adjustment.....Mexico Style. :D
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5599204560/" title="IMG_2413 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5301/5599204560_8e4b25474e_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="IMG_2413"></a>
    #85
  6. harcus

    harcus Long timer

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    Is that it? Can we fast forward to the death of a swing arm? :evil
    #86
  7. HickOnACrick

    HickOnACrick Groovinator

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    Slab Day.

    Because of the mechanical issues, we needed to make up some time. You hear lots about how great the off road riding is in Baja, but little is ever said about how good the slab is as well.

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    Baja history abounds in almost every restaurant.

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    Back way into Mike's Sky Ranch. It's a really good idea to do this trail on really big bikes int he dark.

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    #87
  8. TemeculaRider

    TemeculaRider Been here awhile

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    I did that back way into Mike's on a KLR with nearly bald tires with Baja 1000 pre-runner traffic doing 60 mph past me. It was my first trip to Mike's Sky Ranch and man was I disappointed when I got there. Rude people and lousy, expensive food in a dark, filthy little room. Never again!
    #88
  9. Ryman

    Ryman Been here awhile

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    Hmmm. We had a MUCH different experience. Great room. Great people. Excellent food. Our afternoon adventure was spectacular. Did I say good food? :deal
    #89
  10. brad21

    brad21 We have a pool... and a pond.

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    Yeah, we didn't have the best experience there either. Expensive yes, and a rude, drunk bartender that thought we short changed him. He was mistaken. And drunk. :deal
    #90
  11. TemeculaRider

    TemeculaRider Been here awhile

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    When I rode up I went into the bar area and was obviously extremely hot and thirsty. I was confronted with a bunch of cocky, very drunk motocross assholes and a bartender that apparently enjoyed ignoring me. After literally 5 min. I asked if they cared to serve me food and drinks or if I should just be on my way to which he responded with a smart-mouth comment. I downed a $2 bottle of water, asked to see a room which was dark, hot and dirty as hell and when they told me it was $80 I made up my mind to forge on to Mexicali that night. I tossed $2 at Mike's son and told him I'd never be back. As I was getting geared back up a guy and his son came over and apologized for how they were acting and told me if I thought the service was bad I should have tried the $15 fish taco plate. They had come down with a group expecting it to be some epic experience (as I did) and quickly realized that Mike's Sky Ranch has seen much better days.

    Very disappointing...
    #91
  12. Ryman

    Ryman Been here awhile

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    Thanks for posting guys and I hope you are enjoying our little ride report, but I have to say. The folks at Mike's were very very very hospitable and cool to us. We came in late and they fixed us an amazing supper and I felt right at home. You must have caught them on a bad night. Keep in mind we are Baja noobs. I know there are other places to stay, but I wouldn't hesitate to visit them again.

    If I came into a place and some drunks in a bar were rude to me, I would knock them on the floor, take their seat, and drink their beer. :roflI try not to get offended by people. They're just people.
    #92
  13. Ryman

    Ryman Been here awhile

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    So anyway, I'll catch up with hick on the time line. :D

    We spent an awesome night in a scorpion bay palapa. Our time for heading south was over and we needed to start north. We were concerned about the state of the pig and decided to ride slab to minimize the risk of getting any further baja'd. I was a little sad about not reaching our southern goal, but it wasn't bugging me that bad because we had enjoyed such an awesome adventure so far that it didn't matter what else happened.

    The next morning we rode the beach. :D A strange mist was sticking to everything making it hard to see. Even the dead seal guts were interesting to me.
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    We rode the main road and generally headed north.
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    The coastal road was so much fun. The twisties were great! We had some lunch at the bay of conception and made friends with the local drunks who made sure we knew just what to order. :D Those guys were funny. They were serving us food from the kitchen like they worked at the place.
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    The pig ran out of gas. :D No worries, the 690 is a super tanker!
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    We saw some desert asses.........and so did they!
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    We bought gas from a barrel.
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    I think the dogs could tell that the pig wasn't running well cuz the puppy porno tension was thick. These guys just couldn't wait!
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    I am very certain that under Erok's cool dude lenses is a giant smile. :D
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    Then.....a real treat. The back way to Mike's starts with about 30 miles of totally killer mountain twisties. I can't believe we were the only ones on this road.
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    This road was so cool. I was totally giggling like a school girl as we shredded our way up the mountain.
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    #93
  14. Ryman

    Ryman Been here awhile

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    I came around one corner and Erok was facing the wrong way in the road pointing at something passionately. This immediately gets my attention, and I ride right up close to what he is pointing at to get a look...........Shit! It's a rattle snake and I'm too close! His rattle goes straight in the air and I can hear his warning through my earplugs! WACK! He nails my boot as I ride by! This really got the adrenaline flowing for me. He didn't get through my boot, but getting struck by a rattler had me way puckered up. E came rushing up to make sure I was OK. He had a front row seat for the action. :eek1

    We continued to get twisted by the Mexican twisties. :D
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5641552137/" title="IMG_2446 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5302/5641552137_d155a81f85_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="IMG_2446"></a>

    We pass the turn to Mike's and have to turn around, but not before I eat it again on this booger slick concrete slab. :eek1 E was stopped to warn me of the hazard, but I thought he was just stopped to take a pic cuz we were in a pic frenzy. I went down doing about 20 and slid on my ass through the water like I was sealing the deal on a home run. :lol3 See the scrape mark in the moss from my foot peg?? I was soaked from head to toe and the water was very refreshing. It coold me down to the perfect temp and made me forget about the snake.
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5641553545/" title="IMG_2451 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5022/5641553545_b020929c5f_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="IMG_2451"></a>

    We rode and the sun disappeared.
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5642123648/" title="IMG_2454 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5057/5642123648_176dce02f9_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="IMG_2454"></a>

    I was having so much fun at this point that I was just out of control. Not on the bike, but in my mind. :D
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5642124966/" title="IMG_2458 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5049/5642124966_1826c83751_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="IMG_2458"></a>

    We finally got to Mike's well after dark and Erok was acting funny. I asked him what the deal was and he told me that he was convinced that there was no such place as Mike's Sky Ranch and that he thought I was just teasing him with a story of a nice place to hang out and rest so that he would keep riding. :lol3 I almost peed my pants when he told me this. Erock is hilarious!
    #94
  15. TemeculaRider

    TemeculaRider Been here awhile

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    Everytime I've seen dogs screwing in Mexico there is a very angry hombre about one step away from kicking the shit out of them while waving his arms and shouting a barage of four-letter Mexican. :lol3
    #95
  16. Roostre

    Roostre Discombobulated

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    :clap

    "Milkin' the Kau" :rofl
    #96
  17. Ryman

    Ryman Been here awhile

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    I ran out of steam on my ride report. :lol3
    How bout a few pics of the last day to sum it up.

    Mikes. :D Best steak I've ever eaten.
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5745100802/" title="IMG_2459 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5109/5745100802_a66d274383_z.jpg" width="640" height="480" alt="IMG_2459"></a>

    Erock getting a nap while waiting for a plan to come together.
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5744555225/" title="IMG_2462 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3642/5744555225_33bd0c3664_z.jpg" width="640" height="480" alt="IMG_2462"></a>

    High elevation lake. :eek1
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5744556979/" title="IMG_2465 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5181/5744556979_dbf7444f55_z.jpg" width="640" height="480" alt="IMG_2465"></a>

    Pine forest???
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5744559285/" title="IMG_2476 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5303/5744559285_896d726697_z.jpg" width="640" height="480" alt="IMG_2476"></a>

    Dirty Pig.
    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktm530/5744561061/" title="IMG_2479 by ryanrunolfson, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2541/5744561061_d5ffa18dfc_z.jpg" width="480" height="640" alt="IMG_2479"></a>

    If anyone has been brave enough to follow this report, I hope you have enjoyed the pics and the utard humor a fraction as much as I enjoyed myself on this ride. This was totally an epic adventure for me. I live for this kind of stuff and I can't wait for the next ride!

    Big thanks to hick and E for coming along! :D
    #97
  18. beechum1

    beechum1 Dandole Gas al Burro

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    you had me at puppy porno
    #98
  19. Utah Bones

    Utah Bones Gas X ready!

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    Brain in Utah but homeless in Wisconsin....
    Great report! Where to next?....... :lurk
    #99
  20. Utah Bones

    Utah Bones Gas X ready!

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    Brain in Utah but homeless in Wisconsin....
    Hello Erock,and Hick.:wave