Weird tickets and lessons learned.

Discussion in 'The Perfect Line and Other Riding Myths' started by svs, Apr 10, 2012.

  1. mikegc

    mikegc Long timer

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2008
    Oddometer:
    1,779
    Location:
    High Point, NC
    Well, I didn't get a ticket but I did learn a lesson. In March of last year, I found myself in Safford, AZ with a long way to go. I was returning to North Carolina after a trip to California. Leaving there on US 70, I felt sure I could run pretty hard on the two-lane before getting onto I-10 at Lordsburg, NM. I was wrong. The Arizona HP was out in full force so my deportment was exemplary.

    As many of you know, I-10 was just another interstate blast but, once past beautiful El Paso, the speed limit is 80 mph so you can really burn up the miles. I ran about 90 mph over to Van Horn where refueling was necessary. Leaving the Exxon station with Alpine in my sights, I returned to 90 mph on US 90 and, soon, the Valentine 1 gave me a few weak signals. About a mile ahead, I saw a vehicle do a U-turn and thought, hmmm. I slowed to 75 mph in a 70 zone and, as I approached the vehicle, he flashed red & blue lights one time. I threw up a hand, waved and he didn't turn around. Whew!

    After a few miles of the speed limit, I thought, "WTF, he's probably the only LEO for miles," and I returned to 90 mph. Five miles from Marfa, that Valentine lit up like a Christmas tree but it was nothing compared to the light display on an approaching black Ford pick-up. I was on the side of the road before that sheriff's deputy could turn around. When he pulled up behind me, I was still mounted with a hand on each mirror. He wanted my license, etc. and I politely asked permission to dismount. He studied my info for a moment, walked to the back of the bike and said, referring to a sticker on the pannier, "What's this One; tell me what this is about; I want to know about this one."
    [​IMG]

    I explained that, in my youth, I'd been a soldier in the First Infantry Division in Vietnam and that was our insignia. He hands my stuff back and said, "Have a nice day." Dumbfounded, I thanked him for the break (88mph in a 70 mph zone) and asked, "Why?) He smiled and said, "I was Big Red One in Fallujah. We talked a bit longer about our service experience and parted.

    What did I learn from this? He told me to watch my speed as I crossed into Brewster County, "'cause the sheriff over there is a real prick." Turned out it was his brother. I behaved all the way to Alpine.

    Mike
  2. univibe88

    univibe88 Slidell4Life

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2009
    Oddometer:
    2,390
    Location:
    Taxachusetts
    How does this happen? Do you make your own license plates? Over here the state issues them. I never give a second thought to what size they are.
  3. ttpete

    ttpete Rectum Non Bustibus

    Joined:
    May 13, 2009
    Oddometer:
    6,188
    Location:
    Dearborn, MI
    The driver buys the plates from a supplier. There is a government specification for color and size. Motorcyclists try to use smaller plates because the government size is huge. When the road tax is paid, a disc is issued and that is displayed on the bike in a holder.
  4. DarthJ

    DarthJ Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2011
    Oddometer:
    152
    Location:
    Hell Paso
    Checked and he also could have written you up for the broken speedo.
  5. GerryM

    GerryM On the road again

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2012
    Oddometer:
    15
    Location:
    Ontario
    So my first bike is a '72 Triumph Bonneville 120R, the fancy, smancy 2 carb version that doubled my insurance 'cause it was a "racing" bike. That this is 16 years later and I can get smoked by any then current 250 makes no never mind but I digress.

    I had rebuilt the thing probably twice by then and really wanted to get it on the road so needed to get it certified to get a plate on it. Closest dealer is a Honda shop about 4 miles away. A normal person might have just ridden it on the qt without a plate and hoped for the best. It's one redeeming feature, in my mind, was a Hooker Header which sure as shooting made it sound fast even at a standstill, so qt was not in my vocabulary at the time. Also, I hadn't figured out that wet sumping thang, so it would only run for about 5 minutes before the bottom end filled up with oil and it would blow smoke like a two stroke on steroids. No worries, only needs to run for about 5 minutes for certification so I drain the sump and start pushing.

    Got stopped 4 times by Toronto's finest, all very polite and all very curious as to what I thought I was doing and "may we see your registration sir". No ticket and candidly I didn't mind stopping every now and then.

    Gerry
  6. SeaBass

    SeaBass Long timer

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2005
    Oddometer:
    1,045
    Location:
    Saratoga Springs, NY
    About 23 years ago I learned that if you raised your visor while you are slowing down for an Inspection sticker check road block, the Suffolk County Highway Patrol can decide to give you a ticket for "Riding without eye protection". I dont know if being a 22 year old on a V-Max with Supertrapp slip ons contributed.....:D
  7. GerryM

    GerryM On the road again

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2012
    Oddometer:
    15
    Location:
    Ontario
    Car story now. We had picked up our new puppy earlier that month. Jess was just about 12 weeks old at that point and getting into everything. I get a call at work from my daughter saying "she's pucking blue". Hustle my buns home and find a 2 foot square hole in the living room carpet so one mystery solved. Although she was a border collie and sheep were integral to her makeup, I was fairly certain that she was supposed to herd wool things and not eat them. A trip to the vet seemed prudent so the wife, daughter and I pile into the car with our little bundle of joy.

    Heading east along Eastern Avenue (Toronto) to get to the vet on King Street. There is an overpass that crosses over the DVP and Don River and at the bottom the speed limit drops from a 50kph to 40kph (about 30 to 24 mph) or some such foolishness. I don't know how fast I was going and did not see the police car. Turn right onto a side street and park to find a gendarme at my window asking for license, registration and proof of insurance. Jess is still hawking wool balls in the car so I said hold on a second and tell my wife I will meet them all at the Vet. Apparently I was 20 kph over the limit but he was going to cut me a break and just mark it as 5 over so I wouldn`t lose any points.

    Sometimes stuff just happens.
  8. Badjuju

    Badjuju Biker Billy

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2011
    Oddometer:
    349
    Location:
    ...your girlfriend's bedroom
    DISCLAIMER: I have lifted this verbatim and am quoting this from another forum I belong to, so I have artfully removed all names from the text to avoid incriminating the innocent. I've only ridden with this fella--the author--a couple of times and he is as much of a 'wag' in person as he is with a pen...ummm, keyboard.

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Last Tuesday, 'Larry' (BMW R1100RSL), 'Curly' (Ducati ST2), and 'Mo' (Triumph Trophy) where zipping across Pennsylvania on the first leg of our Northeast Tour. We pushed East on I-70, making fairly long strides in relatively short time. We took I-99 North to cut across the State. PA Super Slabs leave plenty of time for your mind to wander, so I did some daydreaming and wrote a short story.

    STAR WARS: Kessel Run Boarding

    The Millennium Falcon, Slave-1, and a Y-Wing Starfighter were making the Pennsylvania... errr, I mean the Kessel Run. Now I'm sure many have looked upon the Millennium Falcon and have only seen a piece of junk. She may not look like much, but I assure you she's still got it where it counts.

    The three ships were making a run through this section of space where the Galactic Empire has imposed a 0.55-parsec/min limit. Many freighters were running over 0.7-parsec/min without attracting much attention from the Empire Fleet, but these three ships were travelling somewhere between 0.9 and 1-parsec/min. As they approached and passed a group of starship freighters, the Millennium Falcon and Slave-1 overtook an unmarked Galactic Empire Star Cruiser. Slave-1 has the sensors to detect these cruisers, but this particular cruiser was running in silent mode and looked very much like the other freighters. The Y-Wing was hanging back and noticed the Star Cruiser taking notice of the lead ships.

    The Star Cruiser broke out of the freighter formation, and matched the 1-parsec/min speed of Slave-1. The Millennium Falcon was completely unaware of the events taking place and continued to accelerate through an upward gravitational pull, well above 1.1-parsec/min. After breaking away from the increased gravitational pull and observing a vast open space in front of the ship void of any asteroid fields, the Millennium Falcon made the jump to Hyperspace. The original instrumentation on the Millennium Falcon was displaying 1.43-parsec/min, but the Garminian Interstellar travel computer logged an accurate 1.3-parsec/min pass.

    The amount of distance that the Millennium Falcon can transverse at 1.3-parsec/min is somewhat difficult to comprehend, but unknown to the Millennium Falcon (but witnessed by Slave-1 and the Y-Wing), the Star Cruiser had made the jump to Hyperspace as well and was trying to cover those vast distances in the shortest amount of time too. Even though the Millennium Falcon was transporting a fair amount of cargo, it was doing quite well at 1.3-parsec/min and probably would have gone even further. Far far away however, a larger freighter made a navigational change that intersected the flight path of the Millennium Falcon. Far far away comes incredibly quick at 1.3-parsec/min. The Millennium Falcon made a very slight course correction in an attempt to avoid a horrific Interstellar Collision. The freighter, now aware of this impending disaster, changed course yet again. The Millennium Falcon corrected once again trying to get back on the original course, but with the heavy cargo, was simply travelling way WAY beyond any speed considered remotely safe for any time space, and found itself in an IDW (Interstellar Death Wobble). Somehow, the Millennium Falcon was able to recover and dropped back down somewhere around 1.1-parsec/min without any Interstellar Collision, and stayed there for several minutes. Maybe the Force was with the Millennium Falcon. It's hard to say.

    Knowing that Slave-1 and the Y-Wing would need time to catch up, the Millennium Falcon dropped out of Hyperspace and settled in at an easy 0.85-parsec/min. That’s when the Millennium Falcon noticed a strange ghostly freighter shadowing several ship-lengths off the port side. That is an incredibly strange sight, because NO freighter should be anywhere near the Millennium Falcon that soon after dropping out of Hyperspace. Yet, there it was. The freighter then turned on the red/blue laser notification beacons. The freighter wasn't a freighter at all, but a Star Cruiser from the Galactic Empire. Even the Millennium Falcon gets boarded occasionally. But at 0.75-parsecs OVER the Galactic Empire enforced limit, surely the Millennium Falcon would be taken to the Death Star and shoved into a garbage compactor. It wasn't.


    There is more to this story, some interesting dialog with the Star Cruiser commander, how the group was able to reconnect, etc etc. ....but ya know what? ...it's all just Science-Fiction and no one is going to believe it anyway.

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Seriously. I thought I was going to jail. I mean, I really really thought I was gonna be hauled away. When I pulled over onto the emergency lane, I kept my hands visible the entire time when taking off my gloves, slowly removed my helmet, again keeping my hands visible. When the officer stepped out of the car, I kinda expected him to be all jacked up and ready to take me down, but he was actually quite calm and friendly. I asked for permission to step off. He said, "What?". I said, "May I step off the bike, sir?". He said, "Oh.. uhh.. yeah, sure.". When I stepped off, I turned to face him and immediately handed him my license. He never asked for it, nor did he once ask me if I knew why he pulled me over. You know that Nevada Police Officer that pulled over Burt Monro in the World's Fastest Indian? That was the dude. I swear. He looked it over and after a long pause (or what seemed to be a long pause... I may have been still recovering from a spacetime distortion), he said, "Ya know... I paced your buddies at 95-100." and went on to explain that he HAD to pull me over because the other drivers knew he was there, saw me go by at a high rate of speed, and it was expected of him.

    That was my first indication that I might not be going to jail. It was the tone of his voice and a slight hint of sympathy for my situation. Odd, huh? I don't remember his exact words, but he continued to make observations beginning with my age (no hair on top, obvious gray facial hair, etc), my attire (full gear), my 'experience' (which I interpreted again, as age), and in so many terms... I wasn't a young pup looking for trouble. I sat on the guard rail while he walked around the bike several times and continued to examine my license. Strangely enough, I was not really upset. I think I had already come to grips that I was in BIG trouble but I was just honestly glad to be alive. He said, "So... these things really scoot, huh?" to which I replied, "Unfortunately sir, it would appear that you have already observed that for yourself.". He asked if the 'M' was a motorcycle endorsement in Ohio. He asked where we were coming from. He asked where we were going. All of my answers were short and precise. I was not saying anything that I did not need to. He then made mention, that he was a "Biker too", that he understood, and that he would be letting US off with a warning. He was taking up a lot of time. It was obvious to me at that point, that he wanted as many people as possible to see me with him on the side of the road, with lights flashing.

    I continued to call him sir and I told him how much I appreciated it. It was about that time that 'Larry' and 'Curly' rode by (man, that seemed to take forever). He asked if those were Triumphs too. I told him no... BMW and Ducati. He told me to slow it down, that I was now entering into a college area.

    I thanked him once again and was on my way. I pulled off at the next two exits looking for my accomplices. They were nowhere to be found. I went another exit down, stopped, and sent them a text message asking if they were going to come bail me out of jail. I don't think they found the humor in it. They were a couple exits back, hiding around a corner.

    I wish I would have got his name. I'd like to send that guy a Christmas Card.

    .75-parsecs over. Yeah, I know... he didn't officially know. But... he knew.
  9. matkal

    matkal Assault Commuter

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2005
    Oddometer:
    1,664
    Location:
    MI's Thumb :)

    And we have a winner!! :freaky
    (sorry to have quoted the whole thing)
  10. Jacl-Kampuchea

    Jacl-Kampuchea Booze Merchant

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Oddometer:
    753
    Location:
    I see Drunk People.
    About 13 years ago when I still lived in Ireland:

    I worked for a VW/Audi dealership from 9-6. My rented house was perhaps five minutes away by bike - but due to the fact that the town bypass was not finished those four miles, at that hour, could take an hour stuck in a tailback if you drove a car.

    I took my small bike - a suzuki RGR80 - 2 Stroke and filtered traffic as usual for 80% of the drive to work when I came to a set of traffic lights and heard "what do you think you are?". Turning around I saw Ireland's finest pissed off at sitting in traffic, no doubt and responded "I'm filtering traffic - that's legal - what's the problem?"

    They came back with " you were traveling too fast, that's dangerous" to which I replied "I was doing 15mph and the limit is 30mph, how is that too fast?"

    At which point they flagged me over and spent 30 MINUTES looking for something to give me ticket for and eventually ticketed me for failure to display a road tax disc, despite me arguing that, where I parked the bike, if there were a tax disc displayed it would be stolen the same day. . .

    I carried on to work, was chewed out by the Boss for being late - But when I said I was late because of the police I was snapped at and told "Your own fault for driving too fast" to which I said " No, I wasn't" and told them why I was stopped - which they found ridiculous - and the boss phoned hos police golf buddies and had my BS ticket squashed:norton
  11. Craneguy

    Craneguy British Hooligan

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2011
    Oddometer:
    1,033
    Location:
    Riyadh, KSA, Cuernavaca, Mx, Houston, Tx
    I've been stopped a few times, and a couple of tickets in my very early days. Nothing since.

    What really annoys me is the comment "Do you know how fast I had to go to catch you?"

    I want to answer "It could have been 30 kph or 500 mph, the only difference is HOW LONG it would take you to do it"
  12. Flyinace1

    Flyinace1 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    May 7, 2012
    Oddometer:
    552
    Location:
    So Cal
    I have this theory that in So Cal one can stay about 5mph over the speed limit and not get pulled over (most go 10+ over on the freeway here). So the 1st and only time I have ever been pulled over was for speeding...kinda. I was on my bike coming down from Mt. Baldy after a nice sunday afternoon picnic with my girlfriend (she was riding pillion).
    On the way down we noticed there was quite a bit of law enforcement activity,we passed 2 or 3 people pulled over and at least 1 cop going up the mountain, so I'm taking it nice and easy, sticking to the speed limit. Just below the village a cop in an SUV turns on his sirens and I pull off into a turn off. The turn off already had another car pulled over, luckily it was a big one :lol3.
    Once stopped I turned off the bike and left my hands on the grips, neither my girl or I tried to dismount or do anything but sit there. The cop walked up told me I was pulled over for speeding and then asked if I'd have anything to drink.
    I told him "no, sir"
    He then asked me the same thing with slightly different wording to which I gave the same answer. He then told me that he was a federal agent, and lying to him was a federal offense and that he has tests in his vehicle that will reveal the truth, and he keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on...got the point yet. He seemed like he was trying really hard to be intimidating but he was failing.
    I just sat there waiting for him to finish but after a while my patience started to run thin, and I've got a lot, so I finally cut him off and told him "I have never had a drink in my life". (not a lie and still true:deal)
    He looked stunned for a moment before regaining his composure. He moved on to the next question, which happened to be drugs. My answer "No sir"
    The next question was also about doing drugs, to which I answered "no sir" again.
    He then asked if I had any drugs on the bike. By this point it was getting ridiculous. My answer was the same as all the previous ones.
    I'm a young dude riding a 90's Honda Magna that doesn't look pretty at all, wearing ATGATT & so is my girl, and did I mention I'm a geek? I don't exactly look like a druggie, drunk, dealer, etc. and I wasn't riding like I was drunk or with anything else in my system. I realize not everyone who is looks the part but nothing like this has ever happened to me before.
    Next question was, "Do you have a license for this thing?"
    My response was finally a "Yes sir, would you like to see it?"
    He looked stunned for a moment before regaining his composure, and then said yes and I handed him my license.
    Then he asked if I had registration for it, and once again I said "Yes sir, would you like to see it?"
    He looked stunned for a moment before regaining his composure, he was doing that a lot. I swear he wasn't expecting me to be so nice and have no dirt. He said yes, he'd like to see the registration.
    I asked for permission to dismount so I could get the registration from under my seat.
    Guess what? He looked stunned again before regaining his composure and saying yes.
    When I gave it to him he went back to his SUV and then brought it back to me. Before letting me go he warmed/threatened "If I ever went speeding thru "his" town again he'd bust my butt". He was so obviously trying to be intimidating and I could hardly keep from laughing.
    Somewhere in there he had implied, once, that I had picked up speed exiting Baldy Village before I was out of the school zone, but never actually said it or told me how fast I was going. He mentioned speeding a total of 3 times throughout the entire time.
  13. ragtoplvr

    ragtoplvr Long timer

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2007
    Oddometer:
    6,696
    Location:
    central USA
    Speeding 200 bucks. DWI DUI etc, 2000 minimum.

    you are no profitable.

    Rod
  14. trc.rhubarb

    trc.rhubarb ZoomSplat!

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2011
    Oddometer:
    2,063
    Location:
    Concord, CA
    Ha, in CA they are running an ad campaign... $16k for first time over 21 and I think it was $22k for under! That there is some serious profit.
  15. Flyinace1

    Flyinace1 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    May 7, 2012
    Oddometer:
    552
    Location:
    So Cal
    Lol, just more reason not to :evil. I pay my taxes and thats all I feel like giving to the government for them to waste.
  16. CurbTiger

    CurbTiger Adventurer

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2010
    Oddometer:
    49
    Location:
    Great North West
    Two things I've learned;
    Don't be tail-end Charlie, ever, especially on a downhill grade into a Federal Law area(Bonneville Dam on SR14). Officer was reasonable enough, even though I had no turn signals on the flat black FZ600. Guess I was still buzzed up from blasting down Wind River Road from Cougar.

    A late evening ride home on Marine Drive, a Federal area again, next to KPDX. Was doing 70mph in a 45 zone on the CB450. Bike only has a tach and I wasn't paying attention, JRA. Got lit up by airport security. All papers in order, sir. Officer looked over the bike, complimented me on the bike, told me rode as well and watch what yer doin'. That was potentially a $500+ ticket...

    I guess three things. A nice '67 VW Bus gets pulled over way more than a shitty '82 Volvo wagon with three different colored body panels. So transport your weed in the Volvo whilst wearing a light blue oxford shirt, smartly coiffed hair and baby seat in the back!

    NE
  17. bwalsh

    bwalsh UUU, UUU!!!

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2009
    Oddometer:
    12,383
    Location:
    Helltown
    Years ago a buddy of mine got off being written up for speeding at the edge of town. His reasoning to the cop...if you have to be at 35 mph when reaching the speed zone sign while entering town limits you should be able to be going 55 mph when reaching the end of speed zone sign while leaving town limits. :evil
  18. ttpete

    ttpete Rectum Non Bustibus

    Joined:
    May 13, 2009
    Oddometer:
    6,188
    Location:
    Dearborn, MI
    The minute he claimed to be a federal agent, I'd have asked to see his credentials. Impersonating a federal agent is ALSO a felony.

    That was harassment, plain and simple. Barney Fife at his finest. :lol3
  19. JimVonBaden

    JimVonBaden "Cool" Aid!

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2005
    Oddometer:
    55,199
    Location:
    Alexandria, VA
    IF he was park police, and there are a lot of them on what would appear to be public roads, he very well could be a federal officer.

    Jim :brow

    PS Yeah, he was being a dick!:deal
  20. Flyinace1

    Flyinace1 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    May 7, 2012
    Oddometer:
    552
    Location:
    So Cal
    I'll remember to ask for those if I ever have the misfortune of dealing with one again