What the hell have i done?

Discussion in 'Day Trippin'' started by crowe2815, Apr 19, 2012.

  1. crowe2815

    crowe2815 kenoath

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2011
    Oddometer:
    297
    Location:
    andamooka South Australia
    This site and drunken Ebaying got me to the point of writing my first ride report.:1drink
    <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:eek:ffice" /><o:p></o:p>
    Those with a thirst for extreme riding and a lot of dirt are probably in the wrong place, for those that want to ride along with the ultimate n00b as he tries to pilot his drunken eBay purchase home from Newcastle to Andamooka in the middle of the Australian desert without dying may want to hang around:D
    <o:p></o:p>
    I suppose a little background won’t hurt. My background is 4x4ing, and I have always loved getting out and enjoying the bush and the back roads so I suppose I am predisposed to the adventure lifestyle.

    It was through one of the 4x4 sites that I frequent that I found this site. It was a ride report about some crazy bastards who were driving and riding bikes and 4x4s across Burma or some crazy place.

    That was a fair few years ago now. I read a few reports while I was here but the fact that I could not come up with a feasible way to attach my 12volt beer fridge to a bike pushed me back into the arms of my beloved land cruiser for a few more years.
    <o:p></o:p>
    Fast forward to 2011 and I again get directed back here from the 4x4 site when a few of the blokes from that forum ran into one of the inmates from here on a trip to the cape.
    <o:p></o:p>
    I read that RR and then a few more, and then a few more and then I was basically spending about ½ of my work day reading RR’s it got so bad that I had a sickie when I was half way through Colebatchs Russian trip because I was up all night reading the damn thing.
    <o:p></o:p>
    It was about then that I decided that this particular itch was not going to be scratched by just reading about other people’s rides.
    <o:p></o:p>
    I had had two road bikes when I was a young fella and rode them for a year or two until they shit themselves and I just couldn’t be fucked fixing them, so bikes went by the wayside. Fast forward 20 odd years and here I am with a burning desire to ride again.
    <o:p></o:p>
    I was back home in Newcastle for the Christmas break and was doing what I do every Christmas. Get blind rotten drunk.
    Combine drunkenness with a desire to ride a bike and access to eBay and you have a recipe for a drunk man bidding too much for a bike in the middle of the night.
    <o:p></o:p>
    So after I woke up and realised what I had done I thought I should probably let the cook know that I had probably bought a bike. This was met with the sort of response I expected. We were on our way down to the Murray River for a couple of weeks of camping when I broke the news and I have to say that it was a fairly quite trip. I fucking hate the silent treatment.
    <o:p></o:p>
    Well I won the bike. A 2000 dr650 in stock condition. I was stoked but also a bit worried about how I was going to get my cruiser back to the middle of South Australia from Victoria while at the same time getting a bike back to SA from Newcastle. God damned you alcohol.
    <o:p></o:p>
    So the plan was that I would back track 900ks to Newcastle and pick up the bike leave it at my parents place then drive home to Andamooka and come back and pick up the bike a bit later. After I got a license that is.
    <o:p></o:p>
    Living in the middle of the desert has its advantages I live too far away from a training ground to have to complete the “ride it right” or whatever the course is called nowadays. So to get my license I just had to front up at the council offices show them that I had a car license and they hand me back a learners permit. Not even a written exam.
    <o:p></o:p>
    I’ve been rambling so I better throw in a photo.
    <o:p></o:p>
    Here’s my new ride.
    [​IMG]<o:p></o:p>
    The trip to follow.
    #1
  2. DurtKlod

    DurtKlod Long timer

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    :lurk
    #2
  3. little john

    little john Long timer

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    hopfully somewhere with the airbox out of the H20
    Oh my god I think I have found my twin brother. seperated at birth devided by half a world. I just cant wait to hear this story!!!!:clap
    #3
  4. crowe2815

    crowe2815 kenoath

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2011
    Oddometer:
    297
    Location:
    andamooka South Australia
    Shit, bugger, bum, bitch, cock, fart, poo. Rain rain and more rain. It was pissing down when I arrived in Newcastle.
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    This was going to be interesting, my first ride in 20 odd years and I was going to have to do it in the rain. :cry
    <o:p></o:p>
    I spent the night at my parents place hoping that the rain would clear by the morning. No such luck.<o:p></o:p>
    I got myself sorted with a spare fuel jerry can and found a little waterproof bag to try and keep my shit dry.
    I loaded up my bike under the watchful eye of my old man while he continually muttered about me dying on the side of the road.
    Not the most confidence inspiring start to the day.
    <o:p></o:p>
    It was a bit before lunch time before I was ready to head off the rain had even dropped down to a steady drizzle.
    <o:p></o:p>
    My mum came out and asked if I wanted some lunch before heading off, to which my ever helpful old man replied.<o:p></o:p>
    &#8220;Well that would just be a waste of good food, he&#8217;ll be dead in a couple of hours&#8221;:eek1
    <o:p></o:p>
    Thanks Dad you&#8217;re a champion.
    I have to say that the nerves were jittering though, it had been 20 odd years since I had ridden and I was about to head off on an 1800km trip in the rain.
    <o:p></o:p>
    Fuck it there is no time like the present, so I climbed aboard and took off into the rain with my old man shaking his head in the rear view mirror.
    <o:p></o:p>
    I was only 20 ks down the road before my arms began to ache. What the fuck? It took me another 30 to get comfortable enough to realise that I had the grips in a death lock that they would need a pry bar to break if my old man was correct and I died on the side of the road.
    <o:p></o:p>
    Once I eased up on the grip my arms stopped aching and the bike was not moving about all over the road with every muscle twitch and movement of my arms.

    [​IMG]

    broken rock somewhere between Newcastle and Dubbo


    <o:p></o:p>
    Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. It was my arse that now had a death grip on the seat, it was puckered that hard. A car had just pulled out in front of me while I was doing about 80 k&#8217;s an hour. Thankfully there was nothing coming the other way and I was able to swing out and around the prick without too much drama.
    <o:p></o:p>
    I headed out along the Golden highway through Denman and Merriwa towards Dubbo which was to be my first overnight stop.

    [​IMG]
    The rolling hills and farm land on the way to Dubbo. Haven't seen it this green in a while.
    The bloke who I bought the bike off had told me that the seat had just been recovered. I&#8217;m not sure he should have bothered I think that the bare Marble or Slate that Suzuki use for seat padding probably would have looked fine.:D<o:p></o:p>
    I stopped in Dunedoo for some fuel and to check if my arse was actually on fire. Nope just very fucking sore.
    [​IMG]
    The Dunnys at Dunedoo. That probably makes no sense to people from OS but we call toilets dunnys down here for some reason and this just tickled my funny bone. I suppose you had to be there
    I was swapping from one arse cheek to the other on the seat by the time I had arrived in Dubbo. After cruising the streets for a while I booked into a motel for the night and almost came in my pants when I planted my arse on the softness of the bed. I called the cook and my old man and both seemed genuinely surprised that A. I was alive and B. I had made it.<o:p></o:p>
    A few beers and a feed and I was ready for the fart sack. <o:p></o:p>
    Day one down and what a fucking buzz. Sorry for the lack of photos, but to be honest i was just having to much fun to want to stop.:clap
    #4
  5. crowe2815

    crowe2815 kenoath

    Joined:
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    Oddometer:
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    Day 2 Dubbo to Broken Hill about 800Kms<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:eek:ffice" /><o:p></o:p>
    I knew I had a big day ahead so I got up and was ready to go by about 6. Well when I say ready I should say I was mentally ready but my arse was still not happy about the thought of long hours sitting on the lump of Granite that passes for a seat on the DR.
    [​IMG]
    Sunrise just out of Dubbo
    <o:p></o:p>
    Well it became apparent that the same sadistic little bastard who designed the seat was also in charge of designing the headlights as well because it is just as fucking useless. I honestly thought about buying a dolphin torch and strapping it to the front of the bike.<o:p></o:p>
    It was a fairly slow ride out of town until the sun came up. There are all sorts of wild life hopping and crawling about out there and I couldn’t see bugger all.<o:p></o:p>
    I headed out of town towards Cobar.<o:p></o:p>
    30 Ks down the road and I think I may have had a tear in my eye as the seat began to attack my arse again. (Yeah, I know I’m soft)<o:p></o:p>
    I pulled over in Nyngan for some food and fuel and to have a stretch. This place flooded pretty bad back in 1990. The flooded area was larger than Germany and 2500 people had to be evacuated a lot of them by this helicopter that the government gave them when it was decommissioned to whack in the park.
    [​IMG]
    Helicopter Nygan

    <o:p></o:p>
    After a feed that was big enough to feed a family of four and a bit of a look around it was back on the road.
    [​IMG]
    Bogan river Nyngan<o:p></o:p>
    I was feeling a lot more comfortable riding now and I was able to relax and just take in the fact that I was cruising along not giving any fucks about anything besides when to swap to the other arse cheek.<o:p></o:p>
    It’s a long straight stretch from Nyngan to Cobar with not a great deal to see or stop for so I just plugged along enjoying the day.<o:p></o:p>
    Cobar is a mining and farming town with a fair bit of history I had a bit of a look around at the Fort Bourke hill look out and the open cut (now underground ) mine.
    [​IMG]
    Open cut mine Cobar

    [​IMG]
    View of Cobar from lookout

    I had a feed and fuelled up for the long stretch to Broken Hill. I have driven this road in the past and knew that there was fuck all to see and do besides ride and watch out for goats the side of the road is thick with the little bastards.

    [​IMG]
    Goats<o:p></o:p>
    It was getting pretty warm by this stage and I was starting to wish that I had bought a camel back. I Pulled over a couple of times to stretch and give my ring a rest the last time I pulled over I had only been stopped for a minute before I started to smell a burning smell. Oh shit! I’m going to be sitting out here for hours watching my bike burn. <o:p></o:p>
    Lesson for idiots like myself. Don’t drape your new jacket over your seat and onto the hot exhaust. Doh!

    [​IMG]
    <o:p>Bugger </o:p>
    Better than a burning bike but still not real good.<o:p></o:p>
    I stopped at Emmdale road house for some hydration and a perve at some very sexy backpacker type girls. I went to get a photo but every time I did the ugly one. (You know the one, there is always one dingo in every group of good sorts, she’s usually the one with the sour look on her face) kept looking at me like I was some sort of serial killer. So no photos of them so I pinched one off the internet to keep everyone interested.
    [​IMG]
    Random arses<o:p></o:p>
    I stopped off in Wilcannia as well to top up with fuel and to rest my arse again. It was really starting to give me grief. Does your arse ever get used to these things?<o:p></o:p>
    There were a few big storm clouds brewing out towards Broken hill that I was not looking forward to driving through but I had no choice but to mount up and head off.
    [​IMG]
    Rain clouds Brewing
    Not far out of Wilcannia I ran into a heap of locusts and other bugs. Fuck me swinging those bastards hurt when they hit you at a 120ks an hour. I was pretty happy about having a full faced helmet at that stage. I had to battle through a good 20 ks of the hopping little pricks.<o:p></o:p>
    It wasn’t long after getting through them that I saw another bike coming the other way. It was some bloke on a cruiser of some description and he was looking as happy as a pig in shit. He was only wearing a singlet and had an open face helmet on with a grin from ear to ear. I had a quite chuckle to myself as I thought about that smile disappearing a few ks down the road when the first of those big fucking locusts ended up wedged in his front teeth.:lol3<o:p></o:p>
    From here it was just a straight drive into broken hill. I was lucky too because the storm clouds above me seemed to split into two different storms cells and left a nice clear patch over the centre of the road.
    [​IMG]
    Road into Broken hill<o:p></o:p>
    I got into Broken hill about 5 o’clock and had intended to book into a motel and then head out to Silverton to have a look at the Mad Max car and some other shit,but as soon as my arse hit that soft chair in my room I knew I was not going anywhere on the bike again today. I also realised that I was fucking tired. Beer food bed was the order of the day.
    [​IMG]
    Head frame Broken Hill<o:p></o:p>
    Day 2 over and I am fucking loving it.<o:p></o:p>
    #5
  6. crowe2815

    crowe2815 kenoath

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2011
    Oddometer:
    297
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    andamooka South Australia
    I wouldn't wish that on anyone mate. I've got a head like a rum shit:1drink
    #6
  7. jtb

    jtb Long timer

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    Dec 4, 2003
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    2,228
    Location:
    Hawkesbury NSW Australia
    Nice report!

    Can't wait for the rest... keep 'er coming!:freaky
    #7
  8. alexmacca30

    alexmacca30 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2011
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    Location:
    Chelsea Melbourne
    Can't wait for the rest of the RR. Sounds like me, buying a bike off ebay....took 12 months for the wife to stop giving me curry over it (not to mention the rest of the family as I purchased it just before we had our X-mas gathering)...:deal
    #8
  9. Stefs_cruiser

    Stefs_cruiser Been here awhile

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    Nov 13, 2011
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    Glass house Mnts
    Keep it going, love your writing style :freaky
    #9
  10. crowe2815

    crowe2815 kenoath

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2011
    Oddometer:
    297
    Location:
    andamooka South Australia
    Day 3 the run for home. About 600 ks<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:eek:ffice" /><o:p></o:p>
    Another early start. Another slow start to the day due to jumping hopping and crawling things doing their thing in the pre-dawn hours.<o:p></o:p>
    I have just realised that I have been very remiss with my lack of food photos. You can’t have a trip report without some food shots so here is my breakfast from this morning a cigarette and an ice coffee. Breakfast of champions right there.
    [​IMG]
    Breakfast Broken Hill<o:p></o:p>
    I have to say that I was getting pretty damn sick of blacktop. This whole trip has been without any dirt besides the roadside rest stops.
    So as I was heading to the South Australian border I was thinking about taking a trip out past Arkaroola and around the top of Lake Torrens through Marree and then down the Oodnadatta track to home. Now this seemed like a good idea in the early hours of the morning when I was still half asleep. Unfortunately by the time I reached the turn off to Arkaroola what little common sense I had, came rushing back. I had no spares no puncture repair kit and bugger all tools plus I was the poster boy for n00bs. I had only just felt comfortable about riding on the black stuff and here I am thinking about doing the last 600 ks on the dirt in the middle of summer where the chances of people traveling along the first 300 ks of the road would be slim if I needed rescue.
    [​IMG]
    Pub. Well before opening time unfortunately<o:p></o:p>
    I stopped off in Yunta for some fuel and a rest. An Old grey nomad and his battle axe of a wife came wandering over for a chat.
    It was the basic “where you from?” “Where you going?” sort of deal, so after i give him the spiel he just sort of looks at me with a blank look and asks “Why would you do that?”<o:p></o:p>
    Well to be honest this question had me a little stumped so after what seemed like a life time I replied back.<o:p></o:p>
    “Because I can”. I don’t think that answer satisfied him but it was as good as I had and the more I thought about it the better I liked the answer. I don’t expect to “find myself “ or experience any other philosophical epiphany while I ride a bike. I bought it because I could and I ride it because I can. And because it gives me a little chubby every time I get on the thing.

    [​IMG]
    Hills in the distance somewhere out past Broken hill.<o:p></o:p>
    Anyhow back to the ride. I have definitely had enough of the straight line blacktop so when I see a sign for a town that I know down a dirt road I said to myself fuck it. I’m going the town’s only 60ks away even if I get a flat I can ride 60 ks on a flat surely.
    Break down, fuck it I’ll walk 60 ks. So that’s how I ended up cruising down a dirt road on my way to Orroroo.

    [​IMG]
    Another sunrise shot. Out past Broken Hill <o:p></o:p>
    Ooooh yeah i'm liking this. Then I look down and realise I am doing about 30ks an hour. I thought I was doing about 80. This dirt riding is all a bit different. I was loving it but I didn’t push it after a while I was getting a lot more comfortable and found myself flitting along at 80km/h. Niiiiice. <o:p></o:p>
    Only problem was that I was expecting this to be just a straight through road. No such luck there were unmarked crossroads and forks in the road and all matter of other road related fuckery. I had no map and certainly no gps so I just had to play it by ear and stick to what I thought was the most used track.<o:p></o:p>
    Oh you dirty dirty bitch. I was doing about 60 when she chucked me off. :cry
    Cherry Broken.:D
    I hit some really soft shit and since I had no idea what I was doing I ended up on the deck. So there I am laying on the ground trying to work out what the fuck happened. I didn’t feel sore In fact I felt pretty good I had enough adrenalin pumping through my system to keep an elephant amped up. I jumped up and righted the bike and still no pain. This is good. I checked the bike over and found nothing but a bent rear break lever. Oh yeah baby. Well that wasn’t too bad was it? It’s about as easy as…. well falling off a bike.<o:p></o:p>
    Sorry no photos I was that happy that I was still kicking and the bike was still in good knick that I forgot all about photos.<o:p></o:p>
    I slowed down a bit after that.<o:p></o:p>
    I must have done something right with my track selection because I managed to pop out in Orroroo without any further dramas.

    [​IMG]
    Toy Museum and landrover lover Wilmington
    Wilmington was my next stop I had a bite to eat and fuelled up again before taking a walk around. My leg was feeling a bit tender by now. (ended up with a decent bruise on my thigh)<o:p></o:p>
    There are a few old land rovers out the front of the toy museum that should get the soap dodging inmates firmly on the gristle.<o:p></o:p>
    From Wilmington it was through to Port Augusta then up the Stuart highway to Woomera. Sorry no photos again I was by this stage just keen to get home and rest my arse. From woomera to Andamooka it’s only about 100ks but they were by far the hardest 100 I had had to do since the first hundred.
    [​IMG]
    Salt lake views between Port Augusta and Woomera<o:p></o:p>
    The winds were howling and I was all over the road like a crazy woman’s shit. And then I got hit by a decent sized whirly whirly or whirly wind which, for those not from Oz is basically a tiny little tornado.<o:p></o:p>
    I saw the bugger coming across the clay pan and then it just hit me. I was probably doing about 120km/h when it hit, and I believe a little bit of poo may have come out when it did. I was buffeted from pillar to post and am still not sure how I managed to keep it upright.:eek1<o:p></o:p>
    I pulled up on the turn off to Andamooka to take a few shots of some of the tracks that I will be using as my training ground over the coming months to get used to some sand and dirt tracks. There is a big variety of conditions to practice on. Pure sand over dunes, good quality graded dirt, gibber stone, loose shale and everything in between.
    [​IMG]
    Tracks near Andamooka<o:p></o:p>
    I have the Oodnadatta and the Birdsville tracks only 100 ks down the Borefield road from me so I will no doubt being giving them a workout in the coming months as well.<o:p></o:p>
    Thanks for reading folks it may not be much of an adventure ride report to read but I can assure you for a n00b like myself it was a brilliant adventure for me to ride.<o:p></o:p>
    #10
  11. crowe2815

    crowe2815 kenoath

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2011
    Oddometer:
    297
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    andamooka South Australia
    Pure gold mate.
    I did the credit card and bike shop deal. Felt like a proper knob the first time i dressed up in all this fancy new gear.

    Sounds like you went a hell of a lot more hard core than me on your first trip though. Top stuff. I have also found out the hard way now that locked whells do not steer well.:rofl

    I havent dropped my bike at a petrol station yet but i have fallen over myself. I had been for a ride and pulled in, fueled up and paid when i went to climb back on i think my pants had slipped down a little and the low hanging crutch limited my leg movement. My boot hit my seat and i went tumbling backwards like some drunken fool and landed on my arse between two petrol pumps while 3 kids and their mother laughed like loons at me.:lol3
    #11
  12. Glenn C

    Glenn C Adventurer

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2010
    Oddometer:
    70
    Location:
    Sydney
    I think this is the beginning of a great Aussie movie script. Laughed my arse off reading it! Oh the memories come flooding back.

    I think you have just graduated the "School of Hard Knocks!! :rofl

    I only give you a 9/10 because you didn't have enough photos! This will improve with experience... once you realise each breath is NOT going to be your last. Then you'll remember to take photos so you can remember (the trip, that is)!

    I'm completely jealous of where you are based! And it must be pretty spectacular out there after all the rains. It's a good 2000kms plus each way for me to get out there :cry

    And I think you've got a pretty good first dirt/Adv bike with the DR. You just need an Air Hawk to improve the bum's comfort level!

    Next RR Please!!!!

    Cheers
    Glenn
    #12
  13. RZRob

    RZRob Long timer

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    Anaheim Hills, CA
    Whenever I hear Brits or Aussies talk everything just sounds funny. As I read this, the accent comes through and it's just a total bust-up.

    Great read. More pics would help.

    RZ Rob
    #13
  14. charlie59

    charlie59 Been here awhile

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    CQ.
    good read mate,very familiar.enjoy the the dog roota. cheers.
    #14
  15. wiswoodsguy

    wiswoodsguy Kmart shopper

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    Northwoods of WI
    Bravo Crowe :lol3 Great RR

    Nice Job and get ready for many more adventures for sure. It gets slightly better with more saddle time - but the real draw to these adventures is the not knowing. Have fun and enjoy :freaky
    #15
  16. ghostdncr

    ghostdncr Burnin' daylight...

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    Louisville, KY
    Wonderful RR! Reading this completely brightened up my day. :lol3
    #16
  17. going south

    going south hero & Zero...

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    Oct 26, 2008
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    1,190
    Location:
    Alaska, Mazatlan. sometimes seattle!
    Drunking E-baying is bad ???

    Digging the RR......
    #17
  18. wiswoodsguy

    wiswoodsguy Kmart shopper

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    Northwoods of WI
    I think I get the award for Drunken Ebay'n :evil

    Got this bad boy for a song thou :clap

    [​IMG]
    #18
  19. Bill_Z

    Bill_Z Dude! chill,...

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2009
    Oddometer:
    460
    Location:
    Crab Orchard, KY
    Well now, that was, umm, different. Good read, and very interesting. Colorful would be my best adjective. Most of us think this way as we ride, but few have the balls to actually type it that way. Good report!
    #19
  20. Mighty Kentor

    Mighty Kentor Been here awhile

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    Mission, BC
    Great read and congrats on your new drunken purchase! :lol3
    #20