Why are most men so emasculated?

Discussion in 'The Perfect Line and Other Riding Myths' started by Disco Stu, Oct 15, 2012.

  1. Veteran Noob

    Veteran Noob Astoundingly Unremarkable

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    I'm sure others have heard this;

    A woman marries a man thinking she can change him into what she wants him to be and is pissed when she can't. A man marries a woman expecting she'll never change and is then pissed when she does.

    I do not take well to ultimatums or any definitive one sided declarations (i.e. you can't). My wife has learned this the hard way. I am open to compromise when arrived at through thoughtful discussion (although there are some subjects on which I will not compromise).
    Any form of "it's either me or (insert point of contention)" is just emotional terrorism (and isn't the sole domain of one gender). I've summarily ended more than a few relationships for this kind of behavior.
    My friends still get a laugh talking about a former GF that I dated for about 4 months. She was a great gal and, although I was nowhere near ready to pop the question, she had all the signs of being the one. Due to the logistics of our lives, she had only been to my house maybe three times and had never spent a night there (we were spending at least two nights a week and most weekends at her place). The first night she was going to spend at my house was after a hockey game. After the game she balked upon realizing that I was taking my gear in the house. She was adamant about the gear being left in the garage. I didn't argue the point (mostly just nodded and said "uh huh") and went ahead and, as usual, hung the gear in the basement to dry. Realizing that her protestations were getting her nowhere, she finally declared "I'm not sleeping in this house if that stinky crap can't be left in the garage!", then walked out the front door and stood on the porch, I'm sure expecting me to capitulate. She declined my offer to let her call a cab or a friend for a ride, so I handed her purse to her, shut the door, locked up the house, turned out the lights and went to bed. After about ten minutes she knocked a few times and then gave up.
  2. Kommando

    Kommando Long timer

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    Yup. I managed my life just fine, without getting myself killed, before she came along. I don't think I'd have any problem managing without her. Why many people today seem to forget this about their SO, in either role, I have no idea.
  3. PhilB

    PhilB Long timer

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    Exactly. I had this down by age 6, when my best friend's family went on vacation, and I played with another kid on the block while he was gone. My friend didn't like the other kid, and I wasn't that fond of him either, but he was OK. When my friend got back, he told me I couldn't play with the other kid any more if I wanted to still be his friend. I stood up and went home. I don't do ultimatums, giving or receiving.

    PhilB
  4. Effisland

    Effisland Been here awhile

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    ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've read all day!
  5. Effisland

    Effisland Been here awhile

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    Exactly. Did you know that motorcycle critics will live forever? Same with other health nuts or militant vegetarians who preach about everlasting life...

    I love Bill Hicks (RIP)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXFUaqMl3fc
  6. Tepi

    Tepi Been here awhile

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    I'm going to say thats right on the spot. Just take a look at moden movies, especially youth movies or Tv series. Guys are complete morons and girls have to constantly bail them out of trouble.

    Ever seen the series Chuck, where this guy is drafted to be a secret agent because of his intellectual skill, but he couldnt tie his shoelaces without help, so the hot woman agent has to always save his ass. Atleast thats how it goes in the first season.

    Gender roles are completely screwed up, sometimes I think I was born 100 years too late. I still shave with a straight-razor, I build my stuff on my own and planning to build my own house. I work on my bikes and cars. I like guns...
  7. Frostback

    Frostback Frostback

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    Hey, don't short change the state of emasculization.

    You know those dirt bikes with the padding all the way up on the tank? That protection is not necessary for a nutless rider.

    Know that skinny half drunk girl at the bar that is sliding her hand down the front of your 'stitch after a long day offroad? Well, in a nutless world you will both just get a laugh out of it and nothing more.

    Remember that wife at home? Have the last laugh and go nutless if you really want to get even with her. (Though it might cost you in double A batteries.)

    Can't win at the local track? Go all nutless and take some tips from Lance baby. You too can kick tail in the womens' division!


    Once you try the ball-less life you will never go back!

    Lee
  8. alii1959

    alii1959 Been here awhile

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    I disagree. My vows stated simply that I would cling to her for life....motorcycle or not. As a teacher I find that too many of my students do not have the same last name as the people with whom they reside. I wonder how often that is due to ultimatums that were laid out by either partner. The greatest attribute that a couple can share is the willingness to compromise. Without that not much else will help. Why would you marry some one who would issue an ultimatum? I have never even considered telling my wife how to be or what to do...and neither has she toward me. Further, relationships seldom truly end....they leave crap in your head when they leave. I find it disheartening that so many people have been so heart broken. Hope it doesn't happen to you.
  9. PhilB

    PhilB Long timer

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    FTFY.

    PhilB
  10. PhilB

    PhilB Long timer

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    Although you may be making an assumption or two there about people. My wife and our daugher and I all have different last names. Ny wife kept her maiden name, as she was already known in her industry by that name. And our daughter came with her own last name, since she was 16 when we took her into our household. And yet we are an intact and loving family.

    PhilB
  11. STUFF2C

    STUFF2C We Ain't Left Yet!!

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    My wife gives me her permission to do everything... :lol3 that way I don't have to do it anyway :lol3
  12. DavidBanner

    DavidBanner Banned

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    just remember...half of all marriages end up in divorce...and some subset of the other half SHOULD.
  13. DavidBanner

    DavidBanner Banned

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    oh god...the welfare boogeyman? seriously?
  14. DavidBanner

    DavidBanner Banned

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    good thing you can't see inside my car at the drive-thru...else i'd go hungry.
  15. Yellow Pig

    Yellow Pig Allergic to Asphalt!

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    The problem is that men marry women because they like who they are at the moment, while women marry men for who they believe they can become (read: make).
  16. Jim Moore

    Jim Moore Long timer

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    :rofl
  17. eddie bolted

    eddie bolted BOING!!!

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    :rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl
  18. genespleen

    genespleen Been here awhile

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    "Why are most men so emasculated?"

    Two problems. First, that question contains what is in fact a quantitative assumption. We've yet to see evidence supporting it in any meaningful way.

    Second: Inadequate definition of terms. The author has got to make the case that what he sees as "emasculation" isn't something else--say, thoughtfulness, partnership, willingness to compromise. (That is unless he wants to jettison those behaviors as in-and-of-themselves emasculized.) Failing that, all we've got is lazy thinking and lashing out.

    Frankly, mostly what's on display is just a bunch of anecdotal whining from folks who are upset that some of their "fellow" men aren't behaving "properly." This seems somewhat defensive and insecure.
  19. Ginger Beard

    Ginger Beard I have no soul

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    Yes but it would not be you breaking them if she set an ultimatum. That decision to break the vow would rest solely upon her. If you set an ultimatum then the choice to break/not break the vow would rest upon you.:deal


    I agree but an ultimatum is not a compromise, it is totalitarian control by one person over another. I have no issue with a compromise but I will not be told what I am allowed to do by someone that is suppose to love and respect me. I also would not tell another person what they can and can not do beyond what those vows imply. Trying to manipulate someone's happiness is not what marriage is about and doing so is a deal breaker for me.
  20. DavidBanner

    DavidBanner Banned

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    i'm here all week. try the veal.