Your least favorite cagers

Discussion in 'The Perfect Line and Other Riding Myths' started by VozProto, Sep 19, 2012.

  1. Bogfarth

    Bogfarth Fridge Magnet Safety Tester

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2011
    Oddometer:
    179
    Location:
    The Northwet
    The teenage boy/girl who just graduated high-school and got a shiny car as a graduation present is the greatest threat to me. Two days after receiving said cage, they report to fall quarter at the college I attend. En masse.

    Never you mind their speed varying 7mph either side of the limit, because holding a consistent velocity is beyond their meager skill. Ignore, if you can, their infuriating habit of waiting until they're right on top of the stop line before smashing the brake pedal. Please avoid looking for a turn signal; you won't find one blinking half the time. Pedestrians? No, no; their HS driving instructor (or mom) told 'em that cars have a right-of-way. Parking technique is most unusual, and consists of lining up the space with their door handle. At which point, they throw it into reverse and try making a quick reverse-to-drive-hardright! combo move. Straight into the passenger door of the vehicle parked in the next space. Provided, that is, they haven't brought their two-ton cage to a halt in a hash-marked parking area. Ya know, the zones with "Motorcycle Parking Only" in yellow letters two feet high on all sides? And whatever you do, avert your gaze from the interior of their cage. Lest you attend the cell-phone welded to one ear. The make-up brush clutched in hand. Or worse still, the nervous-squirrel stare upon their childish mugs, as they frightfully text away between brief and fitful glances of watching traffic.

    Fight all that for the "convenience" of parking within four blocks of the building I need? Uhh no. I'll hop public transit, thanks. At least until the riot becomes a mere circus.
    #61
  2. ttpete

    ttpete Rectum Non Bustibus

    Joined:
    May 13, 2009
    Oddometer:
    6,247
    Location:
    Dearborn, MI
    Now, that's a juvenile attitude, sonny. I'm older 'n dirt and don't HAVE any hair, and I do just fine in traffic. I don't moan about it, either. I deal with it and move on.

    And I'll bet you'll hang up the helmet long before you're my age..............:lol3
    #62
  3. Dirty Dharma Bum

    Dirty Dharma Bum worlds slowest rider

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2009
    Oddometer:
    88
    Location:
    slo cal
    I commute everyday in LA via some form of KTM splitting lanes the entire 25 mile ride and the distracted tools come in all shapes and sizes. There are tremendous amount of luxo sleds in L.A. as they are given out whenever a young USC girl receives her sorority pin. These young ladies are serial multi taskers in their rigs and are quite dangerous. The yard dude who typically rolls a white 80's Toyota mini truck is not malicious in his douche baggery it's that he doesn't like to tie down his weed whip, trash cans, rakes etc and his shit is flying out the back of the truck the whole time which makes things interesting.
    Priuses are quickly surpassing mini vans as the scariest fuckin' moving objects to be near. It used to be you only had to worry about the soccer moms in the mini vans slapping their kids around, while driving recklessly attempting to get Timmy to band practice on time but now the Prius dominates as the real death machine.
    But my real theory is that it depends on what part of the country you live in as to what is the biggest douche mobile. Subaru's, Volvos and other crunchy groovin' rides seem to dominate the mountain states and upper East coast, the big ass trucks are a problem in the South while us West coasters are haunted by the Teutonic luxo rides but...the one constant are those goddamn Priuses.
    #63
  4. duck

    duck Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2004
    Oddometer:
    10,403
    Location:
    Seattle (Berkeley with rain)
    Hey, YFF, don't leave Seattle out on the Subaru front. If you live in Seattle and don't have a Prius or a Subaru covered in more libtard/Obama/save the planet stickers than paint then you ain't got no street cred.
    #64
  5. jgiacobbe

    jgiacobbe Long timer

    Joined:
    May 2, 2008
    Oddometer:
    2,489
    Location:
    Near Richmond VA
    Anyone in the left lane. They don't realize other are other lanes. When they do get beside a vehicle that is big enough for them to notice, they get scared and won't finish passing it. I'm convinced the right lane is the real passing lane and the left lane BS we were taught in drivers ed was for the suckers. Whenever I am on the highway, the only people I ever get to pass on the left are semis.
    #65
  6. pbarmy

    pbarmy Long timer

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2009
    Oddometer:
    1,818
    Location:
    Great Black Swamp
    Giant ass Dodge trucks,usually four doors.Jeeps are made here in Toledo and lots of the workers have small dicks I guess.Usually have Harley stickers in/on them and some have a chrome set of"Dodge Balls" hangin from the hitch.Tailgatin mofos too.
    #66
  7. bimmerx2

    bimmerx2 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2006
    Oddometer:
    993
    Location:
    DFW area of Texas
    Cool a name calling thread, who wouda thunk it possible.

    JM in 3, 2, 1...
    #67
  8. bluegreen

    bluegreen Adventurer

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2012
    Oddometer:
    52
    Location:
    Vancouver BC
    Subaru drivers.

    I don't know what it is with that car. I think it's popular with the soccer mom demographic. Watch them... 5 under the speed limit at all times and always a big delay when the light turns green. It's uncanny how true I find this.
    #68
  9. JRP

    JRP Old guy

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2004
    Oddometer:
    1,539
    Location:
    Hampden, MA

    +1 :d
    #69
  10. JRP

    JRP Old guy

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2004
    Oddometer:
    1,539
    Location:
    Hampden, MA

    #3 My wife drives a Prius, way to fast most of the time
    #2 I'm old and not very slow, on or off the road
    #1 I don't know any soccer moms
    #70
  11. EastSideSM

    EastSideSM Isn't that dangerous?

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2008
    Oddometer:
    1,490
    Location:
    Providence, RI
    Prius man, fucking Prius.
    #71
  12. advNZer?

    advNZer? Long timer

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2008
    Oddometer:
    2,972
    Location:
    Wellington,New Zealand
    wrong,we are informed that we own the outside lane
    #72
  13. t6pilot

    t6pilot Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2011
    Oddometer:
    560
    Location:
    huntington beach
    Prius drivers in carpool lane, doing 65 when everyone else 75, next girls driving 1 or 3 series BMW's never freaking signal
    #73
  14. Tall Man

    Tall Man Freelancer

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2007
    Oddometer:
    991
    Location:
    The Occident
    I've owned 3 VWs: 2 Golfs and a Jetta. I really like the brand. I just wonder sometimes why guys choose to lower the cars when they already sit pretty low from the factory.
    #74
  15. HooliKen

    HooliKen Awesome is a flavor

    Joined:
    May 13, 2007
    Oddometer:
    3,045
    Location:
    Smithfield, VA

    LOVED my 2000 Jetta VR6. 30 MPG and went like a mofo in the snow! The "boss" hated it though; she is a gas swillen SUV girl. :becca
    and if Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy.
    #75
  16. SilkMoneyLove

    SilkMoneyLove Long timer

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2007
    Oddometer:
    2,489
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    We have lots of Somali's living in the Mnpls area. They can't drive worth a shit but are all taxi drivers. Not their fault, where they come from, driving laws are non-existant. So I am wary of them on the roads (taxis in general - not just the Somalis). The other day I am in the fast lane, passing an old taxi in the middle lane, when a Chevy pickup passes me! He is half in my lane and half on the shoulder. I was following a car, so I backed off and let him have plenty of room. I got over to the middle lane and carefully go by him (middle lane going faster than fast lane) and he gives me the finger (WTH?) I pick up the pace and make distance.
    So here I was looking out for the normal danger of the meandering taxi and it was the truck I needed to watch out for. Keep your guard up, you just never know.
    #76
  17. Sox Fan

    Sox Fan SoxFan

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2007
    Oddometer:
    922
    Location:
    Southeast Michigan
    Poorly maintained cars with tinted glass scare the shit out of me. Nothing makes me more cautious than coming up behind a 20 year old car with a wobbling hubcap, rust, a taped over taillight and TINTED GLASS?:huh

    On the other hand, I personally think the nicest people on the road are driving BMWs. :wink:
    #77
  18. birds

    birds Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2010
    Oddometer:
    253
    Location:
    North NJ
    NY drivers tailgate too much.
    PA drivers don't know how to merge or enter highways or where their back bumper is.

    Bimmer drivers aren't too bad anymore. I'm just used to all drivers around here sucking all the time. I'm not surprised that Jersey gets a bad driving reputation. Seems to just be bad decision making mixed with fucked priorities. Putting convenience way above safety.

    I live on the intersection of 2 small 25 mph streets. They are always busy, as it's a popular way to get to and from the turnpike without sitting at a million lights. 2-lane streets with street parking near the intersection. Pedestrians. Kids running around. Residential neighborhood (think row houses and multi-family houses). Blinking red/yellow light. No it's not OK to go 45 on a small street with kids and bumper to bumper street parking. No, it's not OK to go 45 when approaching a blinking yellow, where the people coming out of the cross street can't see you because of the jackass parked where he shouldn't be right up on the intersection (no its not OK to park in front of your driveway just because it's your driveway, you're still blocking line of sight for people making a turn at the intersection). No it's not OK to stop at the blinking yellow. No it's not OK to not stop at the blinking red. there's a stop sign, too. It's just some bizarre world where driving safely has taken a back seat to getting somewhere 30 seconds quicker.

    So I don't have a least favorite cager. Around here they are almost all unsafe.
    #78
  19. atomicalex

    atomicalex silly aluminum boxes

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Oddometer:
    3,286
    Location:
    Detroit mostly
    Chicks do it, too......

    It`s just fun and silly. I'm bagging the next one. :deal Layin' frame, baby!
    #79
  20. der_saeufer

    der_saeufer ?איפה בירה

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2011
    Oddometer:
    698
    Location:
    Madison, WI and/or Charleston, SC
    At least now they have to have a passenger. As someone who used to commute on a bike or with four people in the car, I actually had a party the day the yellow carpool stickers expired. GTFO slow Prius drivers.
    #80