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A ride without a destination

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by wittyusername, Sep 7, 2019.

  1. MaddBrit

    MaddBrit Now officially a Yank.

    Jul 14, 2004
    Allen, Tejas. Blissful state...
    Wow, Thanks for your service and to to that Angel that pulled you back from the brink.

    That is an amazing first post.

    Welcome to the asylum!

    Pull up a chair and become part of it.
    wittyusername likes this.
  2. wittyusername

    wittyusername This is the spot for my custom title

    Jan 15, 2012
    I've been off my bike for a while but I thought some of you might enjoy an update on my life. I feel connected this Ride Report and hope that the admins don't mind if I pop back in and give updates on my life or adventures from time to time. I feel that some of you connected with my story and will welcome new entries. A lot of you follow me on Instagram and I think that's pretty cool. It's been a wild ride since my last post. I wish it was all good news but I’m still moving forward.

    Here’s what prompted me to write. One of my closest friends had a heart attack while deployed last week. I’ve mentioned him a few times in this story. I don’t want to say his name outright. Anyway, his girlfriend contacted me on Instagram a few days ago and told me that XXXXX had a heart attack while deployed to XXXXXX (country) last week.

    He was flown from one hostile country to a different friendly foreign country so he could have emergency surgery. The hospital delayed care until they received payment. This is unacceptable.

    He’s a physically fit guy. He’s only a few years older than me. He’s not unhealthy at all. It doesn’t make any sense to me.

    Here’s what else doesn’t make any sense. The hospital made him pay for his own surgery out of his own pocket before he was given care. Do you think that’s fair? I don’t. Why didn’t the country who sent him overseas pay for his care? The hospital put 4 stents in his heart.

    The country who sent him overseas won’t even throw him some petty-cash so he can keep himself alive? I’ve seen Govt. waste, fraud, and abuse like you would not believe. I watched as the Government spent $4 million of your tax dollars on a sunshade for 5 security cars in Afghanistan…then abandoned that base a few months later.

    Here’s a stupid example. One of the Govt (Client) logistical officers left a brand-new treadmill out in the elements because he didn’t feel like moving it indoors when it arrived at our base. We would have moved it if we knew it arrived. It was about 115 degrees that week. When he was asked about the treadmill, he shrugged and said he’ll just buy another one. Wait a minute…those are my tax dollars jackass! The stupid thing never worked and we told him not to order another one for the gym.

    Ask these jackasses about their monthly alcohol budget. It’s absurd. It’s like a frat party once their workday is done. These people still think they’re back at Berkley. Yes…that’s a hint about their political views.

    Want an anecdote about their politics? I once had a Chief of Base try to lock up our guns in a safe every night. He was so anti-gun that it was the complete absence of logic. There was about 15 of us living in a safehouse in the middle of a hostile province and this moron wanted us to lock our guns away. These assholes didn't understand the meaning of covert. Ya know...sneaky sneaky. Let's tell the whole Taliban infested city that there's 15 unarmed Americans living next door...insanity. It was wild to even have that conversation overseas. I will always have the right to defend my life – despite their warped views. It’s the absence of logic.

    Do you think it’s cool to spend $30K a month on candy bars? No? Me either. They spend our tax dollars like it's an unlimited resource yet they won't spend a few thousand dollars to save a veteran's life.

    My friend retired from the XXXXXX and has been working overseas as a high-threat security contractor for the U.S. Government since 2007. He’s given his entire life in service to this country and this is the thanks he gets.

    Between deployments, he spent his life traveling the world and living an adventure filled existence. Example…he once flew to New Zealand to get an official Maori tattoo from the village where the tradition began. He’s a traveling story teller and he’s lived an incredible life. He’s terrified if he won’t be able to deploy again.

    Now what? He’s more scared of living a mundane life than he is of heart surgery. To him, it’s death. He’s got a passion for adventure. “Now what” is terrifying. He may be facing some harsh realities and I think you all might like to read what I wrote to him. Like I told you once before, I have a lot to say and welcome an audience.

    If you think my story is unique or like the way I string a story together, I’d be honored if you shared my story with other people. Some may find it useful to help soothe their own struggles. I also think the world needs a example of leadership in a time like this. I plan to keep this as an ongoing public journal.

    Here’s what I sent him.

    “I don’t know how connected you are to the guys who left years ago. I’ve kept in contact with the old gang. I don’t know many of us who are doing well or are truly happy man. It’s a tough transition to live as a civilian over here.

    Let’s have a long talk when you’re feeling better and I’ll fill you in on everything. It’s a difficult reality over here that I want to prepare you for. It’s a weird feeling being disconnected from a group of guys you trust so much. There’s no loyalty out here in the real world. Feels lonely sometimes.

    I’ve had a rough few years brother. I work a shitty overnight stocking job at Lowe’s to get by. It was a hard pill to swallow compared to the life we lived. I’m like an alien walking around. I’m disgusted with the lack of morals or integrity out here. These people have no ethics or style. Their conversations are as superficial as their existences. There’s no passion.

    The old gang is all broken in some way. Some are still struggling with injuries. We have difficulties earning a living and it’s tough to raise a family.

    Those were the good old days man. What a time to be alive. I think that’s why I haven’t been in contact with you very much over the past few years. I didn’t want to spoil what you had. Once it’s over and you’re in the real world, things aren’t ever the same.

    This is called PTSD man. I feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. We’re all on our own separate islands struggling to make our way out here.

    For me, I think it has to get worse before it gets better. I’m playing a big chess game right now. I think I see some light at the end of the tunnel. But in the short term, I have to send Petra back to Czech to live with her sister. After this whole IRS mess, I can’t support her anymore. I’m losing both of my dogs too man. I’m going to be all alone again and I’m not ok with it.

    A crooked CPA destroyed my life and the IRS is strangling me. They’re treating me more like a criminal than the criminal who ruined me. His former company won’t even pay my legal fees or interest accumulated. It’s been a nightmare. I may have to file Bankruptcy because the country I sacrificed my life for is stabbing me in the back. I was an Army Ranger and worked as a high threat security contractor for 6 years. I gave a decade of my life to this country and this is my thanks.

    Not everyone has it as bad as I do. At least I’m able to keep my house.

    All of this isn’t for lack of effort. I opened a badass security company after I was injured overseas. I had to sell it 3 years later because of this IRS mess. I also launched 2 other businesses with my wife that didn’t take off. I had a few other personal ventures that never took off either. Shit man…I even made it to the final round of interviews with Project Veritas. I might get to work as an undercover journalist with them soon. It’s wild.

    This was the last sentence in my cover letter to Project Veritas, “I believe that Project Veritas is an island of morality that’s surrounded by a sea of sharks. I would be honored to work for a company that, I believe, shares my moral courage and steadfast ethical values.” How’s that for class? I told them they’re the only company who meets my high standards. Hah. I crushed that interview man. They asked for three pictures of me. One regular and 2 in disguise. They said they’d never seen anyone put in so much effort to their photo submissions. That’s me…setting the standard.

    Scott Chapman - Normal Presentation.JPG
    Scott Chapman - Hipster Millennial.JPG
    Scott Chapman - Business.JPG

    I’m just treading water right now. It’s a struggle to find work man. I’m thankful for my shitty job.

    Here’s the kick in the balls. My wife gets free healthcare because of my VA disability status…but no one takes that insurance. It’s maddening. We can’t find a doctor in all of Jacksonville who will see her. She has some major medical issues and no one will take our ridiculous insurance. It’s like a big joke on us man. Healthcare is way cheaper in Czech. That’s another reason why she’s moving back there.

    Cortisol is a hell of a thing. The human brain isn’t designed for continuous elevated cortisol levels. The damage or injury caused to the brain creates a condition known as PTSD. Your brain doesn’t really know the difference between an active fire-fight or just a day in the chow hall downrange. Your brain knows you’re in danger and simply produces more cortisol. Logic.

    It affects everyone differently. I have no tolerance for mediocrity and have anxiety sometimes. I just want a day of peace man. I’m socially awkward because I’m just uneasy. I enjoy solitude and quiet…that’s no big deal. I see light at the end of the tunnel though. I’m working my ass off to solve this IRS problem. So don’t worry about me checking out brother.

    My head is clear and I will not fail man. I just want you to be aware of the transition you have on the way. It’s a tough to plant roots and immerse yourself in the mundane. Once I’m through this IRS mess, I’m going for a long walk to clear my head. I’m 50/50 for a thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail next year. Maybe I’ll write about my trip.

    Hey maybe we can open that Adventure Tour Guide company now that you might be done going overseas.

    Miss you brother and get well soon. I’m looking forward to catching up.”

    Someone told me that I write like Dylan. That was the most proud I felt in a while.

    Life is full of ups and downs. I’m working my way back up. Sometimes you don’t realize the positive impact you have on others until they say come out and say thanks. Despite what I’ve been going through, I’m proud to still be able to lead by example and set the standard for others to follow.

    I received this text message from one of the students who used to shoot with us. He was a regular student at Vigilance Elite with Sean Ryan. I loved teaching new students how to shoot.

    I was so proud that I sent a screenshot to my mom.


    Feel free to forward this around.
    radmann10, CoopsDL, jeep723 and 13 others like this.
  3. Snapper33

    Snapper33 Globetrotter Supporter

    Jan 5, 2017
    Worldwide, home based in the United States
    Thanks for the update brother. Good update. When we help our brohers-in-arms it is soothing to our own souls.
    wittyusername likes this.
  4. wittyusername

    wittyusername This is the spot for my custom title

    Jan 15, 2012
    I turned this Ride Report into a book. I figure I'll give it away for free and pass it around until I figure out how to publish it.

    I keep on updating the PDF and adding to the story. You can always find a link to the most updated version of the book in my Instagram bio. @ScottChapman.ADV

    In the book you'll find some additional content that wasn't written in this thread. I also included selected replies to help give the reader the same experience you had while following my story.

    Stay tuned because I still have a lot to say.

    CLICK HERE to download my book.

    Feel free to pass this around.
    AJRJ, radmann10, SmilinJoe and 4 others like this.
  5. SlyByrd

    SlyByrd Siksika

    Dec 20, 2010
    Springfield, Mo
    Dam Brother …. you described what a lot of us feel day in and day out. I actually want to take your post to my therapist and let her read it. I'm having a hard time explaining to her the shitty-assed feelings of being stranded on a lonely island missing my fellow Brothers from back in the day. I think your post might help her to understand what some of us deal with every day.
    I hope your friend heals well enough to enjoy some of the simpler things when he gets back on the block. Some smooth whiskey and a fine cigar enjoyed with a true friend can do wonders for the soul.
    Take that long ass hike across the Appellation's and see what you can figure out. I've been kicking around the very same idea. I really think the long trail time can do some good. Who knows, maybe afterwards I wont feel like dragging a few disrespecting, protesting M-F-ing neighbors out of their houses and stomping a mudhole in their freeloading arses.

    Yeah …. I do miss the good ole days with my Brothers. Nothing like digging a hasty with your best friend to build a bond that few will ever truly understand.

    Live well my friend.

    SmilinJoe, LegoBrew, MYUMPH and 2 others like this.
  6. wittyusername

    wittyusername This is the spot for my custom title

    Jan 15, 2012
    I’m going to continue writing because it’s the best thing going for me right now. I have a unique way to tell a story…and a unique story to tell. And I still have so much more to say. I’m treading water right now and waiting on some big events to follow through. In the mean time, I’m just keeping up and I figure I’ll write about it. New opportunities are presenting themselves to me.

    It’d be a dream come true to write for a living. I’m 1 step closer to that goal. Vijay’s girlfriend knows publishers and promised to help me publish my book. She was captivated with my story. Here’s what she said, “Your writing style is real and raw, and it really connects with people, not just veterans. It's more than just a journal. It's the deep, real life shit that we all deal with in one way or another. You tie in your feelings with the experience itself, and you share what you discover not only about yourself but about the world with all its good and bad. That's why people connect with it.” Pretty cool.

    This is what we decided today. We’re going to give a percentage of each book sold to help cover Vijay’s medical expenses. It’s the least we can do. I’ll move this blog onto that website and set up other social accounts. I figure it’s rude to the people who came here for ADV motorcycle stuff. I’ll give updates then say goodbye on ADV once everything is set up. I hope some of you keep up with me. It’ll make 'plank-owner' badges for you. You can find me on Instagram too. @ScottChapman.ADV

    SlyBird - your comment hit me hard. I had to wait a few days to respond because I wanted to give your comment thorough reflection. I realize the impact of this journal on myself and with others. One of my goals was to help a nation understand its war-fighters. Looks like I'm moving in the right direction.

    Now what?

    "Now what" is a scary question. I’m planning to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail in 2021. I’m going to start a new journal and continue the story. Hope to see you all there.

    Scott C.
  7. LegoBrew

    LegoBrew n00b

    May 11, 2018
    South Africa

    Love your story Scott.

    EDIT: The download link now works for me. Thanks!
  8. radmann10

    radmann10 Derf Supporter

    Apr 29, 2014
    Valley of the Sun/hot part of AZ
    Scott, thank you for posting and including the link to your book draft with the increased info.