ADV-Fundamentalism: anti-virus tour

I wasn’t really planning on doing a longer ride this spring and running my mouth here on Adventuretalker but a week long ride looked within grasp. This covid hoax wasn’t going to stop me. I needed to spread the ADV-Fundamentalist gospel!!! Then I caught wind of a couple of other preachers back east that also thought it was a hoax. Sounds like they’re dead. That hit a little close to home and I had to re-evaluate. Well, I don’t really like people anyway so this is a perfect excuse to avoid all you a-holes more than I usually do. Like many other religions have done during the pandemic, I’ll rely on technology to spread The Truth. KEEP THE TITHINGS COMING!!!

I’m in for this one!

Front tire Too Big ! I may not watch!

I’m on-board for this ride.

Well NOT —on board! But following—you know.
That’d be way too much for a minimalist eh....

Clearly they were worshipping false idols. The New True Faith preaches one must congregate alone, in the wilderness.

"And Moses came down from the mountain to find his people worshipping six feet, and Moses sayeth 'fuck this noise -- Imma goin' back up the mountain!'"

Bring it!

Bring it!!

No time like the present.

Edit: The ADV-F's are the nation's finest safe distancers.

Send the 950!

Odd you say that. Definitely foreshadowing.

I'm in, need to learn to use my new adjust-a-fork. Northern AZ disciple.

Preach it, brother. Have you added a new adjust-a-fork C19 model? You know, the one that extends to six feet? Put me down for two.

Nice, I’m in!

Odd times indeed. Social distancing. No problem. The bummer is you can’t chuck the whiskey bottle back and forth over the fire with your buddy right now.

The story starts with my buddy wanting to test his new 790. He said he was going to ride into the desert and camp for the night. I keep hearing how “flickable” the new 790 is and I wanted to see for myself. (WARNING TO THE KTM ENTHUSIAST: I’m going to badmouth the 790 a bit during this tale. In short, it’s not “dirty” enough for me) Anyway, his plan sounded reasonable. Bring everything you need. No stops for supplies = no contact with people. Pay at the pump fits well with the current situation. The new bike worked fine although it desperately needs more aggressive tires out here.


Not bad for “out of the box”. Suspension seemed a bit stiff. Didn’t monkey with any adjustments. It was getting the job done for now. I rode it for a section (not the photo below). The first thing I noticed was that I would kick the low hanging tank when stuffing the thing into tight berms with my inside leg off the foot peg, motocross style. I guess you’d get used to that but I didn’t like it. The other thing is it’s not great in deep sand with that skinny little front tire. We camped for the night.


The next day, we split up. I had brought enough stuff for another day and night. My buddy doubled back and I headed deeper into the desert. It was at this point that I decided I could responsibly do a longer ride this spring while being a good citizen (something I don’t always do). I could ride, keep away from people, not get sick and not spread the illness. That was the new goal. I was excited. A month ago I had reserved myself to just quick rides this spring. Now things were looking up.

Ahhh...now this is something I desperately needed to read this morning. Overcast, below average temps, my OR county still shut down, temporarily furloughed, and more or less going out of my damn mind...not sure if you're reporting from the road @Joe Motocross, but look forward to the updates as you're able to post 'em.

Knobby side down man, keep the crow flowin'...

Oh Hell Yeah, the prophet has returned. Makes me want to buy another adjustafork or two, just for the hell of it.

Oh Boy, keep it coming! Can't wait to get up there again soon! I am getting really serious about building a front wheel for my 450 using a trials tire; you have about convinced me it's the way to go for the desert!

A number of others have mentioned that some ADV-F nonsense would help them endure the pandemic. Being the good citizen I am, I oblige.

The desert is, not surprisingly, even more quiet than usual right now. So it was odd to stumble onto this crashed plane. You don’t see that everyday. Right after that I ran into a couple of dudes on 790’s. Not grossly overloaded but both bikes had large panniers. More than is allowed by ADV-F protocol. I asked them how they liked the new bikes. “Best ADV bike out there. I’ll ride mine on some stuff I won’t ride my 300 on.” Interesting. Before I could get a picture, they split. I suspected they were carrying chairs and I think they knew a “chair interrogation” was imminent.


I found a camp and it was time for a swim.


I had some 3 day left-over steak from my house that I stuck onto the Adjustafork. Dam! Pretty freaking good for a reheat!! This twice cooked meat would have to be the approach for a longer ride. For those that are unaware, the Adjustafork is a requirement for ADV-Fs. It is used almost every night for tasty nourishing meat and vegetables cooked over the fire. It weighs one pound and collapses for easy storage.

. Yeah...the highway

@Joe Motocross - likely a dumb question, but my synapses aren't firing all that strong at the moment. What do you do to keep the tines of the adjustafork from rusting whilst being stored? Might not have to deal with it given the arid climate you're in; any suggestions for those of us in the wet climates? Have been using scotch-brite and steel wool when pulling mine out of my camp kit. Do you coat yours with anything?

Looking forward to more