Adventure Rider Fundamentalism: Utah minimalist style

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Joe Motocross, Sep 5, 2019.

  1. pprO.R.A.

    pprO.R.A. Hipster Dufass

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    OK,, OK Now ^^^ briefly the thought entered my mind that this an elaborate attempt by Joe to increase the hilarity and drama of his latest RR, and someone else is playing the fake nOOb part of Renaldo Got- drama (perhaps,, Hotstuff ?)
    But after 6-8 cold beers I dismissed that as true reality.
    Rubber to the ground now Joe.
  2. 2old2Bbold

    2old2Bbold was 2bold2getold

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    I started a church years ago amongst my riding buddies. The Church of Latter Day Assholes. We had lots of members but every time we passed the plate it came back empty. :dirtdog
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  3. elbell

    elbell Adventurer

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    My buddies and me belong to a church too! The Seventh Day Adventurists...!
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  4. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Um, hardly. Work related journey. Beer was 3.2% and was donated because of the statewide switch to stronger beer on Nov 1st. Nice try @Geraldo Rivera. You continue to try and cut me down but the readers will see that all you're uncovering is some honest riders with a common sense attitude and approach to living life and riding each day like they may never be able to ride again.

    We all know Rivera has a reputation as a self-promoting opportunist who’d gladly trash journalistic standards for the sake of ratings. He is absolutely shameless about this and that's why I think I actually like the guy a little bit. He doesn't give a shit about what the public thinks about him.
    Now I can get behind that statement. The ADV-Fundamentalists aren't pushy though. If a rider sees that life can be more positive and fulfilling through ADV-Fundamentalists actions, there is nothing wrong with helping out our cause with a few greenbacks if he feels so inclined. Just remember that you are not being true if you dress up in head to toe Klim Gear like some badass offroader only to ride pavement and sleep in hotels while on your Beluga class bike journey. The Roost Gods see through this facade and you will most likely find yourself like some poor ATVer "caught in a donut" for eternity when you pass into the afterlife. Save yourself. Kick down a little ching to the ADV-Fs and just get yourself a Goldwing before it's too late.

    Furthermore, ADV-Fs don't claim to be the one true roost church. Unlike other religions, we acknowledge the possibility that there may be more than one path such as indicated by these other factions like The Latter Day Assholes and the 7th Day Adventurists although the beliefs may align closely.

    So, let's get back to the story of this ride where the Presiding High Council continues to ride the purist and most sacred route they can ride.
  5. chudzikb

    chudzikb Long timer Supporter

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    Say it brother, say it!
  6. Yeti2ride

    Yeti2ride Been here awhile

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    Amen
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  7. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    The truth is, we need gas. There was a gas station in the little town you can see in the distance in the photo below. However, we called them and the pumps were dry. Out of gas. Our luck wasn’t good with gas stations so far. We needed to look deeper into ourselves to see if we were doing something wrong to cause this and perhaps repent so we could once again be on the righteous path to petroleum.
    Day8b - 1.jpg


    We decided to seek a clean path to salvation which was in the form of a buttery two track to the next town only a few miles further out. The skies were starting to open for us.
    Day8b - 2.jpg
  8. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    I think the readers will agree that this photo is proof that the Roost Gods were shining light upon us again. Come join the ADV-Fundamentalists and be saved!!
    Day8c - 1.jpg
  9. Yeti2ride

    Yeti2ride Been here awhile

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    I'm saved, praying for fuel, and the trip continuing.......And maybe a little roost protection for Geraldooooooo
  10. HickOnACrick

    HickOnACrick Groovinator

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    When on the righteous path to petroleum, the Believer needs remember/acknowledge the iniquities of non-believers and the opportunity for conversion:

    With a burning in the bosom, the Believer will ride into a den of iniquity, marked by a plethora of 4-wheelers. The Believer will allow the dust to settle and remove their helmet. Ne'er to utter a sound, the Believer only points to their gas tank.

    The non-believers touched by the Radiance of the One will donate gas, and be filled with a burning in the bosom stoked by wonder at your awesomeness. Non-believers touched by the Radiance of the One are ripe for conversion.

    So sayeth the One.
  11. liv2day

    liv2day Life is about how you handle Plan B Supporter

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    :lol3 :lol3 :lol3

    Catching up again and that made me effin' laugh hard - righteous path to petroleum...bahahahaha. I totally enjoyed your springtime ADV-F report @Joe Motocross, but this one set the bar higher.

    I used to joke that my church was that of MotoGP and Sunday racing, still think that way, though my vision's expanded to include more than just asphalt :D
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  12. RedDogAlberta

    RedDogAlberta High Plains Drifter

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    With some sliding health of late THIS more than anything matters. I've taken things for granted all my life. Not anymore.
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  13. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Inmates of the congregation, listen to the words of Hick! He is tuned in. Funny you should mention this scenario because that was exactly what we expected to find. This zone is usually a hotspot for quad fellowships. We have stopped at such blasphemous camps to preach the ADV-F gospel and have been rewarded with the holy liquid needed to nourish our desert sleds. When we rolled through here, there wasn’t a “side by side” camp in sight. Ghost town. This made us question our faith even more. Something odd was going on with our path to petroleum and I have yet to figure it out. We will continue to reflect on this and make amends.
    Day8d - 1.jpg



    Make me know Your ways, O ROOST LORD; Teach me Your colorful designated paths.
    Day8d - 2.jpg



    Well, we finally fueled up and grabbed some lunch to go. I couldn't quite decide what they were getting at here with the Not All Day Breakfast Burrito. Does that mean it won't last all day or they don't serve it all day?
    Day8d - 3.jpg
  14. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

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    In that sun rayed cloud I think I see JM's raised arm with a butterflyed whole chicken roasting on the adjusta fork or maybe it's the Makers Mark in my glass:D
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  15. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    The ROOST LORD is my high ridge route, my stronghold, my deliverer of the goods. My Roost God is my rocky summit where I take shelter, my shield, the trail that saves me, and my refuge from kooks.
    Day8e - 1.jpg


    Who may ascend into the hill of the ROOST LORD? And who may ride on His holy trails?
    Day8e - 2.jpg


    I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the ROOST LORD, who made heaven, earth and all the sickest routes.
    Day8e - 3.jpg


    They go up by the mountains; they go down by the valleys unto the place which thou hast founded for them to roost upon.
    Day8e - 4.jpg


    And the Roost God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the route yielding melancholy for the riders upon the earth: and it was so.
    Day8e - 5.jpg


    A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace them under wheel and a time to refrain from embracing and try not to wreck.
    Day8e - 6.jpg


    O come, let us ride with joy for the ROOST LORD, Let us roost joyfully up and over the rock of our salvation.
    Day8e - 7.jpg


    Then I lifted up my eyes again and looked, and behold, there was a flying desert sled.
    Day8e - 8.jpg


    As a rider goes down into the valley, And the Spirit of the ROOST LORD causes him to roost, So You lead Your people, To make Yourself a glorious route off the ridge.
    Day8e - 9.jpg
  16. chudzikb

    chudzikb Long timer Supporter

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    Little over the top, but, reading it on Sunday, so it all makes sense! Or is that over the top of the hill, hummm???
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  17. BornAgain

    BornAgain Been here awhile

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    Speaking of herb yielding seed. How of it have ya'll been smoking :lol3 after reading this last installment I'd say quite a lot. That's a really good one Joe.
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  18. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Freaking cracking myself up. :imaposer I thought it would be appropriate for a Sunday installment. If you think about it though, there's lots of truth in that nonsense I just spewed out. One more about that morning's most excellent riding: Then you will know the truth of roosting, and the truth will set you free
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  19. everready

    everready Stuck in Ohio....Ugh!!!

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    "and my refuge from kooks." Nailed it!
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  20. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

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    As ridiculous as it may sound there's a shit ton of truth in it, which should by obvious to anyone who's ever felt the inspiration of the roost!