Adventure Rider Fundamentalism: Utah minimalist style

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Joe Motocross, Sep 5, 2019.

  1. liv2day

    liv2day Life is about how you handle Plan B Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2016
    Oddometer:
    1,783
    Location:
    Sherwood, Oregon
    ^^^
    This. Great sentiment and such a simple truth. It’s a shame more people don’t stop to think about life in those terms.

    Catching up after the long holiday. Sorry about the loss @Joe Motocross, those events are always so difficult. Good on you for hitting the trail for mototherapy, it’s what I like to do as well.

    That hunt camp is no joke, how long are those guys out there for? Always cool to see a wood stove in a tent.
    And killer action selfie, especially on the 950!

    Looking forward to catching up :thumb
    Ginger Beard and Joe Motocross like this.
  2. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

    Joined:
    May 23, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,031
    I don't think so but I am acquainted with the Desert Doctor over in Escalante. He gouges the shit out of Harley riders coming through that break down or need parts. We've gotten gouged by him for simple little stuff with the dirt bikes. Guess you can charge what you want when you're way out there. Hope he feels good about how he operates. I'd have a hard time with it.
    yakawars59 and Kyron like this.
  3. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

    Joined:
    May 23, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,031
    I wrestled with not being with Hotstuff's family. I originally thought it might be better for them to work through it without me there. In hindsight, I wish I would've gone. I could've been of assistance with a few things.

    My buddy and his family are always up for a whole week during the hunt. Not uncommon to have snow but they lucked out this year!
    yakawars59 and liv2day like this.
  4. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

    Joined:
    May 23, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,031
    I tied the frozen burger next to the hot engine to help it thaw.
    Day11g - 1.jpg


    Oh yeah!! This meal came out of nowhere like it was destiny! Garlic goat cheese burgers on fresh bread.
    Day11g - 2.jpg


    I sliced a bunch of garlic and mixed it into the beef.
    Day11g - 3.jpg


    I stoked the fire with my favorite wood; juniper. Sat back and sipped whiskey. Seriously?!?! I don’t know if you guys get it but things couldn’t be much better for me right here.
    Day11g - 4.jpg


    Blurry Murray checked in via text.
    Screen Shot 2019-12-01 at 8.30.26 PM.png


    Time to get the burgers going. Burgers are for advanced Adjustafork chefs only. Lots of room for error. Not ideal if you’ve had too much to drink. Too much chance they’ll end up in the fire. I was concentrating hard, believe me.
    Day11g - 5.jpg


    After a while it was time to add some of that fancy goat cheese. I opted for the smoked version. It was a new one those guys were trying out. They nailed it. Kind of a cross between a Brie and a smoked Gouda. Insane. Decadent.
    Day11g - 6.jpg


    Gas station condiments. You should always stock a few for just such occasions.
    Day11g - 7.jpg


    OK. I’m not bullshitting. These were, hands down, the best burgers I’ve ever had on the trail. I’d say they were even hard to beat compared to any restaurant I’ve been to. Totally off the charts. I chowed one and wrapped one for lunch.
    Day11g - 8.jpg


    Wow. Good living. Now time to slumber under the desert stars. I hope Hotstuff and her family are doing ok.
    Day11g - 9.jpg
    td63, yakawars59, Utrider1 and 22 others like this.
  5. Zubb

    Zubb he went that-a-way...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2002
    Oddometer:
    2,655
    Location:
    San Diego
    Gotcha!
    It finally slipped out. You sir, like all cult leaders, are a FAKE!
    When I first heard your message, I was drawn to it. It spoke to an inner truth buried somewhere deep in my soul. I felt a stirring deep in my breast. I raised my hand and came down to the front and committed my life to the ADV-F way. I bought the fork. I tossed the chair. And I start proselytizing everyone I came in contact with.
    I started each day with a 5am reading of your thread, not just on Sundays, but every day. Studying your words, learning your ways. I felt I'd found a new way, that I'd found a new path for my moto life.
    ... but deep down I had a nagging feeling that there was something ... just something that didn't quite square up. I ignored it for quite awhile thinking the answers would come and the world would sit right ... if I just believed enough.

    But with each turning of the 22 pages of this thread, it took just a touch more faith, a little bread crumb of inconsistency would appear in your stories. Each one requiring a little more trust, a little more faith, in you and your message. Until this morning when the light went on.

    The first big give away was that once your were alone, you brought out the 950. Hardly minimalist. And you went camp-hopping and spent time with other riders that . . . what? . . . had chairs. And tents. And gas stoves and lanterns. The hunters probably even had a generator that you plugged all your hidden gadgets into and charged up overnight while drinking expensive craft brew and eating salads and foie gras sautéed in red wine and butter.

    All cult leaders have a hidden life of sin, and yours have come out into the light.
    If you were true to your teachings, you wouldn't have that big desert pig all dressed down to look minimalist. You can't fool me. You probably have a water cooled GSA with full aluminum luggage and half the Touratech catalogue RAM mounted to it in the garage.

    That's not Old Crow in that bottle is it. Probably a hundred dollars worth of Napa Valley Pinot in there charade-ing as hobo liquor.

    It was the goat cheese and rustic breads that finally gave it away.
    If you were the real deal you'd have a jack rabbit and rattlesnake on that fork. Not some fancy smancey rodeo drive hors d'oeuvre.

    You probably have your selfie-camera sitting on a Kermit Chair while you pose for your fake messages too.

    Well I'm out. I don't believe you anymore. You are failure to yourself and your followers.

    First thing I'm gonna do is buy a cot on Amazon today. And a cup holder for the bike. You should be ashamed of yourself.
  6. liv2day

    liv2day Life is about how you handle Plan B Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2016
    Oddometer:
    1,783
    Location:
    Sherwood, Oregon
    Yep...envious @Joe Motocross. Your report and all the pics make me realize that I need to get out for a ride...badly. Weather and season will restrict where I can go, which sucks as I'd love to take a rip over the coastal range and end up somewhere on the northern Oregon coast (snow in the range). Have to make to do with something closer to home.

    Hindsight's a bitch man, don't let it bite you in the arse.

    Those burgers looks effin' fantastic, believe I'll be trying to cook 'em like that the next time I'm camping. Actually be pretty damn cool to show my boys them being cooked like that; not that they'd get it quite yet...lol.

    Looking forward to the next update :D
    Joe Motocross likes this.
  7. Yinzer Moto

    Yinzer Moto aka: trailer Rails Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2008
    Oddometer:
    29,160
    Location:
    Pittsburgh PA
    I want a ram mounted touratech catalogue! What a great idea! Maybe with a suction cup mount, so I can stick it to the wall in the bathroom for a hands free experience.

    :imaposer:clap


    You missed the jars of spices in the background of the one recent burger photo.
    Foiler and Zubb like this.
  8. Zubb

    Zubb he went that-a-way...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2002
    Oddometer:
    2,655
    Location:
    San Diego
    Good catch.
    Whatever you do, stop tithing to this faker. Kermit Chair users UNITE!!
    Ginger Beard and Yinzer Moto like this.
  9. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

    Joined:
    May 23, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,031
    BWAAAAhahahahaha!!!

    Holy shit. DUDE, DON’T DO IT, STOP!!! You don’t have to resort to such radical actions. For Roost God’s sake, you probably already have a chair being shipped to your house. It’s cool. Take a breath. You can probably return it. Let me see if I can restore your faith. Let’s review things.

    This is laughable. Good one. You and I have not yet met in person but I know that you know the real truth here. I swear it while I sit here and drink true croffee. Enough said.
    EA0C7D2D-094A-4D34-A1B2-E6A33E5E6BF2.jpeg

    Right, "Rustic Bread", that's what they call it. Yeah, I agree, this looks suspicious. If it were purchased from the fancy overpriced “health food” market over in Moab, I would agree that this is false testimony. However, when you purchase the only food for miles made by a hippie that claims to live in “the middle of everywhere”, this is true ADV-F.

    Interesting you bring that up. Quick history about my SE. I originally bought it as an alternative to the BMW GS pigs some of my buddies were riding. I wanted to be able to join them. I’m coming clean here. I had originally visioned aluminum panniers, a fancy rear fender rack, all the shit that ADV riders bolt on, perhaps even a chair. I honestly didn’t know what I had bought with the SE. Luckily, before I did anything stupid, a ride presented itself across the country. I didn’t have time to pile all that crap onto the poor girl. What to do? I "Voile strapped" on my usual minimalist set up and figured I’d make due until I had some more time to “properly set up” the SE. I quickly learned what the SE really is. A large dirt bike. To weigh down and cumber an SE is the true sin. After that trip, I learned the errors in my beliefs and vowed to never have such thoughts and never take actions to hinder and take away from what that bike is meant to do. KTM pulled it off with that one. I’m surprised they actually built it to begin with. I know it wasn’t near as popular as the Adventure model, hence only being available for a short time. I can only dream that they will do the same thing with the new 790. Strip all that extra crap off it. Give me a no frills dirt bike. Because of the popularity of the current “Adventure” market, I fear it’ll never happen. This is another reason I feel we need to distinguish the difference between ADV-R and ADV-F. I think my only path is to eventually find a used 790 and build it up to suit my needs. Full circle here. Just like the boys were doing back in the 60s with their desert sleds. When manufacturers don’t produce what you need, you take matters into your own hands. Now sir, that is true testimony right there. If that doesn’t restore your faith, I’m afraid I’ve lost you.
  10. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Oddometer:
    7,496
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    perfect, if anyone ever complains about drinking croffee one just has to point to the label and say "It's just what the doctor ordered" :D
  11. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

    Joined:
    May 23, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,031
    Docter's orders!!
  12. Sparrowhawk

    Sparrowhawk Long timer

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2005
    Oddometer:
    3,918
    Location:
    Eastern Washington, USA
    I lusted for a SE for years while owning a '00 640 LC4E. But as good luck would have it KTM kept making their dirt bikes better, faster, and more durable while at the same time my gear got lighter and more compact so I got a '14 500 EXC instead.

    I never could get excited about KTM's or any other"adventure" bike offerings with all the crap they put on just to give it the right look. Crazy.

    I am a pretty good mechanic and ride with a friend who has a 990 Adventure but doesn't have great mechanical abilities. A couple of times there was a little trouble, old battery on a cold morning and bad gas in a little village in the back woods of Idaho. Looking at all that useless plastic I asked him where the "f" is the damn battery? When his fuel injection started acting up I just shook my head and said "Sorry dude, I don't even know where to begin." His trip was over.

    Then there's the guys that say they'd never want one of those high maintenance dirt bikes without taking into account that it takes 5 minutes to change oil on an EXC compared to a couple of hours to get past all the plastic, and metal guards protecting all the plastic on a big adventure bike. Oh what a superficial bunch motorcyclists can be.
    snail01, Joe Motocross and staticPort like this.
  13. chudzikb

    chudzikb Long timer Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2016
    Oddometer:
    1,079
    Nailed it with the burgers on the adjustafork! I understand completely how that can go real wrong, real quick. Mixing the garlic into the burger was genius. Well played sir.
    Joe Motocross likes this.
  14. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

    Joined:
    May 23, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,031
    Day 12: Beliefs grow stronger through insanity ultimately resulting in clarity

    I wake up to this. What the?!?! You gotta be kidding me!!! Yep, this was destined to be a good day.
    Day12a - 1.jpg


    I get the Croffee and noodles on the coals and pack my bedding. I notice that one of my lighters is toast. Gotta take note. Can’t be out here with no flame. Imperative to get another lighter and soon.
    Day12a - 2.jpg


    Good view to sit and enjoy the croffee. Peaceful. Can't think of a better way to collect your thoughts and get ready for the day.
    Day12a - 3.jpg


    Time to hit the trail. Ooops, missed this shot. Oh well, you get the idea of what’s going on.
    Day12a - 4.jpg


    These uranium mining roads are rough and wind all over the place. Super fun riding but you don’t cover much ground.
    Day12a - 5.jpg


    Yeah, lots of these are rough. Dam good riding with the right bike though!!
    Day12a - 6.jpg


    There’s a few old abandoned vehicles over there. Not sure if they’re left over from uranium or if they were related to the old stock pond. If you look close, the old rigs are on the slope of a dam built up to catch water for livestock.
    Day12a - 7.jpg


    Mental stimulation.
    Day12a - 8.jpg


    I get out of the uranium zone and start covering more ground. This ranch was started but never finished. It never was a working ranch. Looks like a pretty fancy start compared to many around here.
    Day12a - 9.jpg


    Melt-down zone. So many great routes through those remote canyons. They’d have to wait for another day. I had to get to town for supplies today.
    Day12a - 10.jpg
    td63, liv2day, Foiler and 17 others like this.
  15. 2old2Bbold

    2old2Bbold was 2bold2getold

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2011
    Oddometer:
    4,684
    Location:
    Arlington, Texas
    All ADV-Fs should know the emergency fire starting procedure. Soak a stick with gasoline, plug your spare spark plug on the spark plug wire and crank the motor with the plug grounded and next to the stick..... Instant match. :hair :lol3

    Actually it works really good. I've used it several times.
    Foiler, svo_jon, Sparrowhawk and 5 others like this.
  16. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

    Joined:
    May 23, 2007
    Oddometer:
    1,031
    I like that. I haven't heard of that trick. I don't carry a spare plug though. Guess I could pull mine out of the bike if necessary. Good one!
  17. RedDogAlberta

    RedDogAlberta High Plains Drifter

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2009
    Oddometer:
    20,690
    Location:
    Edmonton, Alberta
    42 years ago I rode into Utah and declared it the promised land. It never fails to amaze me.

    Good work to Geraldo for his continued trail side shots in a suit. Lord knows how he baths and grooms on route.
    Ginger Beard likes this.
  18. 2old2Bbold

    2old2Bbold was 2bold2getold

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2011
    Oddometer:
    4,684
    Location:
    Arlington, Texas
    Back in the good old days :lol3 , everyone carried spare plugs. Stick a stick in the tank....put a spare plug on the plug wire.... hold it on the head and kick it over. I remember one time especially, coming off Imogene pass in a cold wet snow/rain it saved our ass. Pulled in to an old mine shack and lit a fire in the old rusted out wood stove. :D
    liv2day, Foiler, Zubb and 2 others like this.
  19. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Oddometer:
    7,496
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Can also just run the bike to get the exhaust header hot and hold the stick or paper soaked in gas on it and it'll light right up, but be fast about!
  20. msteward

    msteward Long timer

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2015
    Oddometer:
    1,160
    Location:
    Spanish Fork, Utah
    I'm sure anything metal stuck in the plug cap will produce a spark when held near a grounding point.