Adventure Rider Fundamentalism: Utah minimalist style

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Joe Motocross, Sep 5, 2019.

  1. Geraldo Rivera

    Geraldo Rivera Adventurer

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    Where the story is
    My current assignment is to investigate and uncover the truth about the Adventure Rider Fundamentalists. Early investigative work lead me to this website where the de facto leader, Joe Motocross is known to contribute content. I will dig in and find out if this is just an informal club of some sort or if it is a much more organized, dangerous and deviant sect, cult or religion as some have suggested. I intend to meet up with Joe and his apostles and reveal the truth behind their beliefs. Thank you for welcoming me to Adventure Rider. I look forward to bringing you the real story.
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    #41
  2. derblauereiter

    derblauereiter Mostly made of cheese Supporter

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    Good luck and god speed!
    #42
  3. Davidjohnson

    Davidjohnson Been here awhile

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    Reminds me of the surfers (Swayze) in “Break Point”
    #43
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  4. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Geraldo. Great..... Two words - fake news.

    Anyway, we've had some fat days and more to come. We'll get into this story more after it's all said and done.
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    #44
  5. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

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    ^^^ I give that dismount an 8.5, needs a bit more leg in the air
    #45
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  6. Ginger Beard

    Ginger Beard Instagram @motopossum

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    Croffee for breakfast
    #46
  7. liv2day

    liv2day Life is about how you handle Plan B Supporter

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    Fack, Utah rocks must be on the ADV-F diet. Better places to stop for a snack though, musta been a beotch getting started again. Guess no slope waits for hunger.

    Seriously though, hope the rider was ok. Nasty looking climb on that loose $hit.

    Glad to catch up, had a serious cluster f*ck of my own the last week.
    #47
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  8. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Funny stuff Liv, good one. :lol3

    Well, things in life don’t always go as planned. My intended partners for this leg of the journey couldn’t join me. The result is I am out on the Super Enduro solo. Things are going quite well! It’s been an amazing journey so far. I’ve met up with Geraldo a couple of times. He kind of pissed me off with some of his questioning. We’ll see if he comes through with a true unbiased report or if it’s just more fluff like he usually produces.
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    #48
  9. LMSB

    LMSB Adventurer

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    Utah
    One hand on the gas, the other hand on the gas.... Nothing else matters
    #49
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  10. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Day 1: An afternoon departure

    The journey starts out slow (not in the "speed" sense, just story-wise) with just a single rider. Drey Dog leaves his house solo in the afternoon and lands at our buddy Zaniac’s compound hidden along the creek in the heart of Moab. Nothing too exciting, just a high speed run on mostly gravel roads. The goal is Point A to Point B this day which is generally something we try to avoid doing.
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    #50
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  11. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Day 2: Drey Dog rides solo from Moab to Joe Moto’s crib

    Drey takes off in the morning and chooses routes where he’ll be able to cover ground fast. His destination is my place in the afternoon. He starts out on some fun stuff out of Moab.
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    We are basically all addicted to Green River melons. It’s another reason why late summer/fall riding is my favorite. Drey Dog, of course, stops off to enjoy a melon at lunch.
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    Next up, he starts ascending the mountains that separate the desert from my place. Weather is decent.
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    A storm had just rolled through the night before leaving some snow and mud puddles. This demanded that Drey Dog stick to the well graded gravel roads to cross the mountain range. He does this with no issue although things could’ve easily gotten bad as far as mud in the highest terrain. We've had things go shitty up here in the past. He makes it to my place in good time with no “epics”.
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    That night, we do some work on the bikes and get a few supplies. The liquor store is out of Old Crow so I substitute it with the next best “bird themed” bourbon. This is actually better since it’s 101 proof which packs more of a punch in the same amount of Old Crow. The ADV-F Minimalist is always thinking of ways to maximize with the least amount of stuff.
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    #51
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  12. dano619

    dano619 Long timer Supporter

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    Thanks for posting up.....looking forward to this!! I'm sitting on the floor reading this, feel bad using my chair!! :)
    #52
  13. fatbikeracer

    fatbikeracer Been here awhile

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    Wild Turfee!
    #53
  14. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Instant classic. I think we have a place for you within the organization.
    #54
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  15. juno

    juno Long timer

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    OK, you switched to Wild Turkey. Got to read the report now!
    #55
  16. Geraldo Rivera

    Geraldo Rivera Adventurer

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    Where the story is
    The Adventure Rider Fundamentalists (ADV-F) are certainly and interesting group of motorcycle enthusiasts. Sometimes I find the leader, Joe Motocross to be an enlightening, charismatic, honest yet eccentric personality. Other times he is an unsavory dirty rotten scoundrel.

    He has been thinking and talking about creating a religious following for sometime. His intention is to personally benefit from it. It looks like he is now on his way with the ADV-F movement that he’s concocted out of thin air. He calls himself the “Profit” rather than “Prophet” because he thinks he’s actually going to make money from this. The disturbing thing is that he has already started to do this by duping people into buying his little campfire fork that he builds. I fear this is only the first step for this devious person and that he is actually manipulative enough to extort much more from innocent riders. Regardless, he and his comrades carry these forks like The Knights of the Round Table carried swords.
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    As with many Prophets, he has visions that he openly speaks about. One is a recurring dream where at some point he is riding a motorcycle and stands it up into a perfectly balanced wheelie where he rides it into eternal bliss around corners and through magical landscapes. This state is euphoric for him and his belief is that this is the state that all Adventure Rider Fundamentalists will achieve in death. This is something he uses to coax people into his faith system. I believe this is why he often posts pictures of riders in wheelies, although, on his behalf, posting these may be subconscious on his part.
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    Aside from the Prophet (or Profit), there are numerous other members who play important roles in the organization and, depending on the context, are known as the Quorum of Apostles or the Presiding High Council (the latter is clearly a blatant self-reference to their substance abuse). Each member can choose their own role title such as Bishop, High Priest, Swami, Archdeacon, Rabbi, Nun, Shiekh, Cardinal, Ayatollah, etc although each title is meaningless and has no merit and there is absolutely no hierarchy at all. It would appear that they choose the name only to make fun of the religion where the term originates.

    The group, as a whole, think they are above everyone else both intellectually and physically. In reality they are just average, aging individuals desperately grasping for their out of reach youth. They all suffer from different ailments such as gout, high blood pressure, rheumatoid arthritis, diet allergies, and failing vision to name a few. They all carry a pair of “readers” with them at all times. Yeah, that's real proof of how "youthful" they are.
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    One thing that I must admit about them is that despite being past their prime, this does not seem to stop them from attempting unrealistic feats that often end in failure. They often joke about “you gotta be tough if you’re going to be stupid” but this appears to be a more serious statement rather than a joke with these guys.
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    #56
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  17. haystack

    haystack Just ride

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    Moments of perfection!
    #57
  18. radmann10

    radmann10 Old fart Supporter

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    Love the dismount! Just a little more leg in the air would make the picture perfect!
    #58
  19. mylsmkj

    mylsmkj Long timer

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    I was really buying into this ADV-F thing until I read Geraldo's initial reports and dug in a bit further. I was really buying in when I saw the Aux petcock and no tank bag.... then to my horror I see a front trials tire on the leader of this movement's bike. My mind immediately switched to false prophet!:D
    #59
  20. Yinzer Moto

    Yinzer Moto Sloppy 300 rider Supporter

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    18" rear trials tire on the front of the bike.....
    #60
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