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Adventure Rider Fundamentalism: Utah minimalist style

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Joe Motocross, Sep 5, 2019.

  1. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

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    You said a while back you use Ultra HD tubes, had no idea Michelob made 'em! :lol3
    td63 likes this.
  2. ColumboNH

    ColumboNH Been here awhile

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    Thanks for the toolkit review, I need to revamp my kit before this season. I am carrying too much stuff!!

    I assume you’re using a chain with a riveted master link?
    Joe Motocross likes this.
  3. td63

    td63 Been here awhile Supporter

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    While I had no idea they still make Michelob.

    Also, speaking of heavy duty tubes, I like that Michelob named a beer after a condom.
    CaptCapsize likes this.
  4. Plaka

    Plaka Brevis illi vita est

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    So you piled up rocks to make a chair and you are carrying glass containers on your "light" setup?

    You rag on ATVs but if they don't use some road and it's overgrown you're unhappy?

    freakin' air mattress? Got an air poo-poo too?

    Signed,

    Confused in Colorado
  5. Scribe

    Scribe £Bob£

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    Where would one find the art of packing light thread?
  6. NoelJ

    NoelJ Long timer

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    Scribe likes this.
  7. lynxrat

    lynxrat 'not a pretty blonde european gal,with lotsa guts!

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    .......weird.......im startin to think i actually belong somewhere....
    Ginger Beard and Joe Motocross like this.
  8. haystack

    haystack Just ride

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    Come on into the fold, brother!
    Ginger Beard and Joe Motocross like this.
  9. td63

    td63 Been here awhile Supporter

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    Because air is heavy?

    Or because thermal dynamics is confusing...?
    Joe Motocross likes this.
  10. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Hey @Plaka I think you’ve confused a few of us here also. Not sure if you’re trying to be funny or a smartass but I’m getting some amusement either way. Let’s look into this.

    Correct. In the event we are out of booze and purchase some more but don’t have any lightweight container to dump it in, yes, we will begrudgingly carry a glass container. There’s one benefit to this. When someone comes up and makes fun of you for claiming to be “minimalist” but carrying a glass container you can grab the bottle by the neck and smash it then hold the broken end up to the person’s neck with a crazed look in your eye and see how they react. Furthermore, as I’ve stated, alcohol is our weakness and until we can switch to “micro-dosing” 100% of the time, I’m afraid we will need to carry a glass bottle for short periods of time now and again.


    Yes, because, you know, somehow we are more superior on two wheels.

    No. I could care less how overgrown a road is and I’m definitely not disappointed if atv’s/quads/side by sides don’t use certain routes. Plus, if they don’t use routes that I’m on, then I don’t have to make fun of them.

    Yeah, I know, weak. I’ve tried just sleeping in the dirt but I’m not quite hard enough to pull that off for numerous nights. Maybe you got some tips on doing that?

    Not sure what an air poo-poo is. Confused.
  11. Plaka

    Plaka Brevis illi vita est

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    So did I, so I looked closer.

    not utah plate.jpg

    Blew up one of their license plates. Then hit google. The plate has distinctive features. The red script lettering and the MC at the bottom.

    https://www.tagdrstore.com/plates/5527-2014-LA

    Guy is from Louisiana maybe?. Long way and while Joe rides within 200 miles of home they are far cross country. So rain gear and warmies (those and meds + spare gas take up one of my saddle bags). If motelling it one needs town clothes to go out to dinner and bars and enough changes to not have to hit laundromats daily. And some toiletries, maybe a razor? Then some lunch and snacks, water, and so on.

    Then they said they mailed stuff home. I do that...stuff that's mailable, legal(ish) and acquired on the road. Anyway they are touring newbs. So figure they needed to have plenty of toys to ward off boredom (cameras,GPS's, laptop, a leatherman, a phone, 3 chargers, alcohol, blah, blah). And they are scared out there in the big mean world. Gotta have a top box to put the helmet in if ya go take a piss.

    Then look at Joes bike again. He's got a pack on and stuff strapped all over. Put it all together in the back of the bike and I bet he has nearly as much. And he hasn't exactly mentioned the saw.

    They are having problems not so much because they are gear heavy as skills/aptitude light. I'm no dirt rider and I got into one of those situations in deep silty sand. Mile after mile of it. I had 6 gals. in the tank, my tankbag on top of that, a huge trash bag with my clothes on top of that. The back had two very large aluminum boxes full of explosives, then a 5 gallon oil container of gas, then my duffel with camp gear then another huge trash bag of ditch weed I came across. I was hitting 2+ felonies at every state line (I like doing more than one, something to bargain with) If I went down it would have been loud, pretty and smelled like a Grateful Dead concert. Fuck Ohio. But I made it back to the pavement.
  12. Plaka

    Plaka Brevis illi vita est

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    The problem is the idea of what a burger is rather than what it can do. Try this: (and I'm working on your other post but I need to find all the incriminating pics).

    Take a medium sized fresh pepper (big jalepeno, Arboro, Chile, etc) and make a skiving cut in one side. This sort of lightly arcing cut leaves the ends intact. Clean it out and leave the entrails to attract critters. Mince the piece you cut out and mix into the burger. Pierce the pepper so it will drain the brine and chemicals in the burger. You can develop the proteins on the meat and I think that would work for burger-on-a-stick. Need to try it. Anyway pack the burger into the pepper but not too much or it won't cook by the time the pepper is done. Skewer pepper on fork and roast on low. Pack final bit of cavity with Jack cheese near end of cooking. Garnish with fresh cilantro.
  13. Plaka

    Plaka Brevis illi vita est

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    Well stated. But the problem must be worked from both ends. I'm a poverty rider so I am forced to deal with how to get an enjoyable journey out of what I got, which is very little. I liked and noted your numerous frugalities. I set slightly different priorities. I don't drink cheap booze. Old Buzzard don't cut it. I pack a small flask of sippin' whiskey. It costs a lot, goes a long way and I can't get drunk anyhow. Next comes gas. No gas no adventure. I travel very fast and use a lot of gas.

    On the other end I seldom carry a camera. All the time and money I have to be there I want to be completely there. When the camera comes out I'm not there any more. I'm thinking about writing up some tale of my derring do for ADV or a pic. to show somebody or the far future trying to recall a long ago memory (instead of making a new one). If I am completely there I will remember. I can see at this moment in my minds eye things I have seen on the road. I remember mysterious experiences I have had. I have some pics of Thunder Mountain from one trip on my website but I have never gone back to look at them. I was there twice and the second time I skipped the camera. That is the trip I remember. The pictures are always with me in my head.
  14. tag3

    tag3 Doofus

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    Hey Joe, you've been Plaka'd.

    Good luck buddy.
  15. Achro

    Achro Adventurer

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    @Joe Motocross what patch/glue combo works for you?

    Im relying on wal mart cheapos right now... they kinda sketch me out.
  16. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Hahahahahaha! I like this cat @Plaka. He's LOOSE!!

    Hahahahaha! Good one! Yeah, we pack just as much as any overloaded Beluga Class GS rider, it just looks like we don't have that much.
  17. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    I've had good luck with Bell from the bicycle sections in various stores. I've also had luck with various others. I'm not afraid of cheapos. I look for "flammable" rubber cement. Not all of it is flammable these days and I think the flammable is better. I think the key to not having a patch failure is to make sure you crank up the tire pressure after the fix. 15 lbs minimum. This keeps the patch pressed firmly between the tube and tire. Since going to 18" front and rear rims along with 4mm ultra-heavy duty tubes, I run 6 lbs pressure front and rear. Flats have become rare but not completely eliminated. I've experienced numerous patch failures after repairing a tube when I only pump the pressure back up to 6 lbs. Now I go to around 16 to 18 lbs and that seems to keep the patch in place.
  18. Geraldo Rivera

    Geraldo Rivera Adventurer

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    This is some solid investigating @Plaka. As an experienced investigator, I tip my hat to your techniques in trying to expose Profit Motocross as a fraud and a false minimalist.

    While I’m impressed with your methods, I should point out a few things that, unfortunately, shoot holes in your theories. First, Motocross confirmed that those riders were from somewhere back east, maybe Virginia or West Virginia, possibly Louisiana as your diligent investigation suggests. However, they didn't ride from there. They trailered their bikes to northern Utah. Also, Profit Motocross has crossed the country a number of times on his Superenduro not carrying anything more than what he’s carrying in this report so that kind of proves he doesn't need fancy Touratech rain gear or other unneeded trinkets to go the distance. Believe me, I've tried to pin these guys on stuff like this. It's not easy.

    I might politely suggest you hold your cards a little tighter with statements like that. If you're not aware, the Presiding High Council is doing a little more than snickering about this. Being presentable in public places is the last thing on their minds. The word "needs" does not apply to them in this situation.

    I’ll be watching your investigations closely to see if you dig up anything I may have missed in trying to expose these hoodlums. It's a tough case to crack. Good luck. Let me know if you need a hand with anything.
    Ginger Beard, pitbull, Foiler and 6 others like this.
  19. Plaka

    Plaka Brevis illi vita est

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    Interesting. I missed the trailering part. I wonder how far they got before they figured they had too much crap? And where they mailed it from? But still, They are used to eastern riding, not the deserts of the west.

    I broke my leg getting a little too wild. (actually I was standing still but on roller skates). it was a real pain trying to shave in a wheelchair so I just didn't. Seldom bathed either. 3 months later when the cast came off I cut the beard. But then I looked in the mirror and realized I looked better with it. So I grew it back. Maybe chicks would dig me ( for once). haven't shaved since. No more carrying a razor (except in the FA kit) or heating water in the pot for a shave.

    Around the house I don't care what I look (or smell) like. I rarely go out during the day and none of the nighthawks I see when I do go out care. I have to clean up a bit for appointments...maybe clothes that were washed. On the road I don't bother. I have only had one confrontation. But I don't have any wimmen around. They can be sooooo fussy.
  20. Apo

    Apo Been here awhile

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    Foiler and Scribe like this.