Adventure Rider Fundamentalism: Utah minimalist style

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Joe Motocross, Sep 5, 2019.

  1. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

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    wait Tom Hanks is an ADV-Fer?

    [​IMG]
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  2. liv2day

    liv2day Life is about how you handle Plan B Supporter

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    Fantastic set of pics from camp @Geraldo Rivera, the shot of the moon coming up is magazine worthy man. And serious LOL to the food handling comment, laughed loud enough that peeps at work stood up to look at what my dumb arse was doing :lol3:lol3:lol3

    Now that's what I'm f*ckin' talkin' about - bunch of uncooked flesh over some coals cooked the proper way. And I really like that there's always veggies too, have to keep the morning constitution going :rofl.

    Seriously fellas, great couple of updates. Wasn't sure when I'd get the enjoyment of reading another @Joe Motocross report, glad it's sooner than anticipated.
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  3. chudzikb

    chudzikb Long timer Supporter

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    Fantastic "in the field" reporting!
  4. LMSB

    LMSB Adventurer

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  5. Geraldo Rivera

    Geraldo Rivera n00b

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    An interview with Blurry Murray helps establish the character of Joe Moto. As one inmate suggests, there are scary similarities to the Manson Family. Joe Motocross is held in high regards amongst members who are willing to protect him. He is able to coax members into doing his bidding.

    Geraldo: So, Elder Blurry Murray. Do you consider yourself an Adventure Rider Fundamentalist?

    Blurry: Yes I do but don’t tell anyone.

    Geraldo: But, you are aware that the 18" front rim on your Desert Sled suggests that you're a Fundamentalist to anyone who sees you on it? It basically marks you as a Fundamentalist.

    Blurry: That's why I wear a helmet and dark glasses to hide my identity.

    Geraldo: You have similar beliefs and use similar practices as Joe Moto. Do you think Joe Moto is a good character?

    Blurry: Oh yeah! We think a lot a like. Joe, he's one hell of a good guy

    Geraldo: Have you ever done anything illegal while riding with Joe motocross?

    Blurry: No. Of course not. We only break one law at a time generally.

    Geraldo: That's kind of a conflicting answer. Anyway, I guess you deny stealing gas for your bike during a ride circa 2008 somewhere south of Vernal, Utah?
    [​IMG]

    Blurry: Selective memory. I left a $5 bill sticking out of the spout. Don’t judge me!

    Geraldo: Ok, ok. It may have actually been a $10 but whatever. New topic. Did Joe Motocross have any influence or affect whatsoever on your decision to get divorced from your wife during that same trip?

    Blurry: No absolutely not but @Buuurrrt did!

    Geraldo: And Buuurrrt is also in the upper echelon of the Fundamentalists?

    Blurry: I would have to say he is, as he is quite capable of instigating some hair-brained ideas.

    Geraldo: That figures. So, as I understand it, as you were about to leave on the trip, Joe Motocross handed you a "Roost Disclaimer" form that exonerated him from any relationship or work issues that may have arisen due to what happened during the ride. Then a Fundamentalist henchman influences your decision?
    [​IMG]

    Blurry: As I recall, he showed it to my wife at the time and she thought it was pretty funny and signed it.

    Geraldo: I’m sure she thought that it was still pretty funny when you returned and announced you were leaving her. It seems like Joe Motocross is quite versed at keeping himself well insulated from any unpleasant happenstances that affect innocent victims.

    Blurry:
    Dear Mr. River-a

    As much as I like to talk about riding dirt bikes and all that goes along with it, it seems you may be on a witch hunt. Looking for evil doers, no good sleepers in the dirt, people of low character. Well, Sir, you may have stumbled upon a group of the aforementioned but, what you may find are just simple people that love wandering off the beaten path. People that wonder where does that dirt road go? Perhaps you have found the opposite of the normal American that loves going to the same place everyone else is going. Being alone, self sufficient and away from the crowd is what we live for. I invite you to come along on our next outings so you can experience the freedom we all love so much.

    Elder Bluuury
  6. chudzikb

    chudzikb Long timer Supporter

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    This is simply brilliant satire/humor. Reading it does not make me any smarter, but, it sure is amusing.
  7. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Thanks to Blurry Murray for pointing out the "Witch Hunt". Exactly.

    Day 4: Staying high in the country

    So, my girl Hotstuff got me a new pair of Thor riding pants that I had a minor warranty issue with which they promptly remedied. On top of that, they sent me some additional stuff including this metal croffee cup. Now, I know it’s just a promotional item but Thor is definitely at the top of my list of cool companies now. Nice work Thor, know your customers. Mo claimed it could be “cheap chinese junk” and will probably leak. It doesn’t.
    Day4 - 1 of 98.jpg


    While I’m preparing my cowboy style croffee, Blurry pulls out this little packet which I think he does specifically to urk me because he knows I detest Starbucks. Furthermore, he finds it even more amusing that there is a little scooter on it signifying the “hipster” lifestyle which also rubs me a little bit wrong. Not scooters, hipsters. I actually like scooters. Maybe I actually have something in common with hipsters? I should think this through some more before I pass such harsh judgement.

    Well, these little packets are definitely a minimalist way of getting some croffee going but something feels a little “sissy-like” with them to me. Maybe it’s the other styles they sell with the mochafrappelatte crap they mix in but I can’t seem to get passed this product Blurry produces.
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    We pack our stuff which doesn’t take long since we don’t have much. Another plus to the minimalist style.
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    Onto the trails!! Good stuff right from the get-go.
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  8. Kyron

    Kyron Oncler Inds

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    Good stuff
  9. liv2day

    liv2day Life is about how you handle Plan B Supporter

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    :lol3 :lol3 :lol3 Have to own up and admit I use the same packets when out on the trail.

    Dig that downhill rocky shot, rider looks a bit crossed up though - he ride it out?
  10. Scribe

    Scribe £Bob£

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    That Starbucks hipster crap is repackaged Nescafe sold at something like 10x the price in little tubes you can tuck into your scooter's cubby hole. It has no place in ADV-F scripture. That said, it's pretty damn good.
  11. zipweee

    zipweee Been here awhile

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    southern colorado
    What's up with the onesie?
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  12. haystack

    haystack Just ride

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    [​IMG]
  13. Franque

    Franque Been here awhile

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    That's inline with ADV-F principals, one less article of clothing :kat
  14. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    The coveralls are actually quite representative of the ADV-F movement, for me at least. It brings me back to when I ran them all the time, before I had real dirt bike gear. There are a couple of reasons I’ve gone full circle and I’m running them again. First, they are inexpensive. This is one of the basics that ADV-Fs practice; get the job done with the least amount possible. $40 and I’m good for 1 to 2 years. Second, I find them more comfortable to sleep in compared to regular pants and jerseys. I want the option to sleep in them for added warmth so I can carry a smaller sleeping bag. I think this old photo speaks for itself. Circa late 90s, monkey suit, leaning against the rim of an XR600 (no chair). My buddy in Carhartts, rollerblade knee pads over them riding a DR350. We were just about to cross a deep river and from what I remember, things were pretty exciting!
    IMG_1802.jpg
  15. msteward

    msteward Long timer

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    Sure wish I could have came down for a ride around there, looks great. I burned up any vacation time I had a couple weeks ago for a week long riding trip around here with friends from TN. I think theres some ride going on around that paiute trail this weekend.

    Headed to GR tomorrow for a fancy camping night and a day ride around the geyser area then back sunday night for a monday ride in the mountains around here, no camping though.

    One of these days I wouldn't mind taking a couple day ride around with you guys, don't need a waiver.
  16. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    We are on obscure atv trails at this point. They’re pretty easy riding but have plenty of good action to keep us entertained.
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    Lots of good cornering and plenty of fun little climbs and descents.
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    The terrain in the lower elevations here definitely has that “desert-esc” feel to it.
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    We’re like kids in the candy store spotting all kinds of routes and trying to figure out which one will be the most fun.
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    We’re not chucking huge air but there are tons of little hits like this one where Drey Dog gets weightless on his “Desert Sled” for a moment.
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    We get onto a section of “quad-friendly” spines.
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    Our route has a nice flow to it without hitting any dead ends or cluster fu#k$.
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    Oh yeah!!! The trail leads us into a nice wash where the pace picks up a bit.
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    The canyon is choking up a bit and there are some of those features along the way that are so typical for Utah.
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    Instead of continuing down the canyon, we bang a turn on a atv trail that doesn’t see all that much traffic.
    Day4 - 18 of 98.jpg
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  17. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    It climbs STEEP out of the canyon.
    Day4 - 19 of 98.jpg


    It’s not too challenging but you gotta keep your shit together because it’s climbing at a pretty good pitch and it’s loose.
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    We crest a ridge and get a good look at the next mountain range we are intending to get into.
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    The two tracks are smooth, "flowy" and fast at this point.
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    Awesome! We are so lucky to be able to travel through this kind of terrain.
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    We drop back down into the valley before starting the ascent into the next set of mountains. Drey comes by in 4th or 5th and I get a shot.
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    Next here comes Blurry Murray. He decides that he would rather descend with his engine turned off and he comes floating by with only the sound of gravel crunching under his wheels. I kind of do a little double-take on this and find this move slightly “off” but I just keep going and don’t think about it again.
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    These types of little local joints are the best.
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    We grab some water and some snacks and take a break in the shade. It’s warmer this day. Blurry tells me about how he likes to go downhill on his “Desert Sled” without the engine running just for the fun of it. He states something about it giving him a bit more “free” feeling. All good.
    Day4 - 29 of 98.jpg
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  18. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    We like to let our routes unfold during the day rather than stick with a planned route. We have a general direction we want to go and the next mountain range is in that direction so we start climbing. We are always sniffing out new routes.
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    This little side canyon ends up being a real gem!
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    It gets a bit more narrow with really cool steep rock features.
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    It quickly gets up in elevation and the views behind us are starting to get good.
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    The route is quickly getting us into high terrain.
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    We climb to about 9000’ and are looking for a Forest Service route which will drop us down into the next canyon to the south.
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    We ride by the route twice before someone says that they saw a metal post with no sign. This is when things get interesting.
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  19. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Sure enough. The post is a Forest Service road marker with the number missing from the post. We take it and immediately note how sparse the route is. That’s ok, this is the kind of stuff we’re looking for.
    Day4 - 38 of 98.jpg


    It’s dropping straight down the canyon, no switchbacks, no signs of any road grader work.
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    The route continues directly down the center of the draw which is somewhat odd for a Forest Service road. It also continues to become more sparse with more vegetation encroaching on it. We all know that most likely it’s going to be a dead end and we’ll have to climb out.
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    We’re paying attention to how difficult the climb back up will be. We don’t want to drop down something that turns into an “epic” to get back out of.
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    At the same time, we can’t stop descending due to our curiosity to see if the route goes all the way through!!!
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    There are still faint hints of atv traffic.
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    It’s not uncommon at all for atv riders to ride until they can’t go any farther and then just turn around. There are tons of trails like that scattered around and we suspect this is one. We have to get off the bikes at this point to scout on foot.
    Day4 - 46 of 98.jpg


    At this point, we no longer see any evidence of atv traffic but there’s a single track that continues across the creek and on down. Most likely just a game trail. We keep pushing down. We NEED to see if this route goes through!!!
    Day4 - 47 of 98.jpg
  20. HickOnACrick

    HickOnACrick Groovinator

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    ADV-F?

    Where do I send the check? I have long suspected cash money is the path to eternal enlightenment in most religions, but this is the first religion that has me scrambling for my cheddah. If I purchase an Adjustafork, will I be granted priesthood or just a deacon? Croffee/Turfee and meat? Does that qualify as approved sacrament. If so, whose blood and body are you sanctifying? Are Daniel Crockett and ruminates sacred symbols of your movement?

    Ah, F*ck it! I'll just join the club and figure out all the fluff as I go along!
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