Adventure Rider Fundamentalism: Utah minimalist style

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Joe Motocross, Sep 5, 2019.

  1. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    This is what I’m talking about. Looking past me trying to honestly make a little $$ off the tithing (just to cover my expenses), you totally get it. Same religious stuff that’s already going on but something that us two-wheeled fanatics can really get behind. I’m not asking for anything more than any other legitimate religion asks for. AND, no one can really say my religion isn’t legitimate as far as I can see. I’ll do whatever it takes to qualify, no big deal. Eternal endless wheelies for all the believers!!! Those who don’t believe will be “caught in a doughnut” where they will endlessly spiral down to an unpleasant place.

    Don't worry Hick, we'll get all the details worked out. Thanks for stepping up. You're saved.
  2. PNWet

    PNWet Been here awhile

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    Where is Mo the Jack Muslim? He seems to be in all your ride reports....

    I'm seeing 2 x GL Coyote for minimalist packing in this report. I remember Mo used one too.
  3. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    The Jack Muslim is onboard. He is the rider with a tarp rolled and strapped on sideways across that GL Coyote. He and Blurry are gonna give the GL Mojave a try. Again, Giantloop products are acceptable under ADV-F scripture but are frowned upon. You will only achieve the highest status within the movement if you drill through your plastic and use Voile Straps to secure all your gear. This assures that you A) have total disregard for cosmetic appearances and B) are not willing to shell out $$ for something that can be done with much less than a Giantloop product. The true ADV-F has no concern about his appearance and always accomplishes things with the least amount of capital required. Furthermore, it is somewhat awkward when a rider who has expensive, all matching, top of the line gear/graphics on a brand new washed bike is bested by a blue jean clad rider on a 96 XR400 blowing a blue cloud of smoke.
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  4. derblauereiter

    derblauereiter Mostly made of cheese Supporter

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    fixed it for you.
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  5. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

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    ha, nearly equivalent to "hold my beer, watch this!" :D
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  6. danh600

    danh600 Long timer Supporter

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    [​IMG]

    Well Joe, obviously I am not a member of the ADV-F club. (The bag on the ground is a ......chair.)

    But I just wanted to say your reports are great. I look forward to them. Never done any of that type of riding, but you sure make it look fun!!
    Thanks for taking the time to put this stuff up.
  7. Geraldo Rivera

    Geraldo Rivera n00b

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    This is exactly what I am concerned with. It’s a perfect example of the ADV-F fraud where Joe Motocross convinces innocent victims to buy into his religion by offering them some sort of afterlife security if they believe or suffer the consequences if they don’t.

    Many religions, like Christianity, Islam, many pagan belief systems, forms of Hinduism and Buddhism, believe that one's status in the afterlife is a reward or punishment for their conduct during life. ADV-Fs follow suit. However, for people to believe in ADV-F, which was just recently made up compared to these other religions which were made up a long time ago, seems absurd. Joe Motocross also claims to offer some sort of afterlife fail-safe inner-tube repair perk for ADV-F believers.
  8. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Thanks for coming clean about the chair. Honesty is a trait that ADV-F uphold and applaud.
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  9. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    We keep the possibility in our minds of having to climb back out. So far we should be able to make it back up.
    Day4 - 48 of 98.jpg


    Now we’re about 300 vertical feet above a more well traveled route. We assume we can make it but we still don’t know if it’s going to go.
    Day4 - 49 of 98.jpg


    It gets really steep. To the point where we won’t be climbing back up this if we go down. But we’re so close to the road now we figure that we can get the bikes down somehow. What can go wrong? We commit.
    Day4 - 50 of 98.jpg


    What ends up being a game trail does spit out onto the road below after a VERY steep final descent. Drey Dog punches it first and grabs some photos. The Jack Muslim is next and pulls it clean.
    Day4 - 51 of 98.jpg


    Blurry Murray doesn’t get so lucky and goes down.
    Day4 - 52 of 98.jpg


    I skid down half out of control and brace for the impact of the transition at the road.
    Day4 - 53 of 98.jpg


    It ends up not being bad and we’re pumped that we made it through!!
    Day4 - 54 of 98.jpg
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  10. Scribe

    Scribe £Bob£

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    Halllelujah! Or whatever term is appropriate to your belief system!
  11. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

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  12. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    We’re feeling confident now and decide we’ll try climbing up another very obscure route. We cross the creek and start up.
    Day4 - 55 of 98.jpg


    Quickly we come to a tree that is down. We decide to yank the bikes underneath it and keep going.
    Day4 - 58 of 98.jpg


    This is a bit of a task but with four of us on each bike, it goes fairly quick.
    Day4 - 61 of 98.jpg


    After maneuvering around another tree that was down across the route, we climb up out of the canyon a bit and get a view (photo below) of the drainage we had just come down. We also come to the end of the route we are on. It dead ends in the woods and we have to backtrack. A true ADV-F acknowledges that there will always be "dead ends" and not all routes will go through but he always keeps exploring despite this. This is essential to finding good hidden treasures and is much more satisfying than following someone else's map where there are never any dead ends, thus not much excitement. Exploration is critical to the ADV-F movement.
    Day4 - 62 of 98.jpg


    It’s getting hot so we take a break in the shade near the creek and cool off a bit.
    Day4 - 63 of 98.jpg


    This is ATV territory. Most routes have been adopted by the ATV crowd and these trail systems basically support a lot of the local economy. ATVs aren’t for us and, before Geraldo spills it, we do have a bit of a prejudice against them. Personally, I’m trying to work past this. One way is to stop and chat with people. This is usually good for some solid human interaction and it’s not uncommon to score a cold beer from a cooler or a shot of “Hot Damn!”. This interaction usually helps me look past their choice of backcountry travel and most of the time I’m glad to have made some acquaintances.
    Day4 - 64 of 98.jpg


    Uh oh.
    Day4 - 66 of 98.jpg


    Drey Dog goes to work on it and we “nitpick” his technique. We are curious what classification the flat will be.
    Day4 - 67 of 98.jpg

    I’ve been ignoring many of the snide comments from @Geraldo Rivera but we should address flat tires.
    This isn’t exactly true but does point out how practical and honest the ADV-Fs are. See, we are realists in that flats are going to happen even in the afterlife. Riders who believe there is a 100% remedy to flats like the Tubliss system are the ones that have been duped by a false religion. You will occasionally get a flat and no movement or religion can guarantee otherwise even in the afterlife. Just be honest about it. However, it is possible that once you cross over, flat tire repair bliss may be possible. Similar to the endless wheelie (it is 100% true that I do have that recurring dream), an ADV-F believer may go into a state of total consciousness where the tire almost falls on and off the rim with the touch of a single magic tire iron and patches adhere for eternity.

    Back to this life. The first thing we find is a Class 1, Single, Hole of Unknown Origin. Drey patches it. It’s in a questionable location in regards to how the patch will be affected by the shape of the rim. It may be prone to releasing.
    Day4 - 69 of 98.jpg
  13. liv2day

    liv2day Life is about how you handle Plan B Supporter

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    Effin' dig it @Joe Motocross, missed the last couple of updates and glad I caught up :ricky :thumb

    Kinda wondering what you backtracked to, guessing it was the road you came across and that turned out to be where you crossed paths with the ATVer?

    Such amazing terrain and scenery man, pretty damn ballsy to go down that goat path, especially without knowing what it might lead to.

    Great setup of shots from the exploration and adventure man, looking forward to hearing if Drey's patch holds air or if you have to screw around with it further.
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  14. haystack

    haystack Just ride

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    Moments of perfection!
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  15. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    He inflates it and finds another blowout. This looks like a Class 1, Double, Rim Lock Pinch. It looks like he clobbered a rock that pinched the tube on both sides of the rim lock. He patches these and we’re on our way again.
    Day4 - 71 of 98.jpg


    Originally we planned to stay in the higher elevations for the remainder of the day. However, the combination of our obscure route, the dead end and Drey’s flat has chewed up quite a bit of time. If we stay high, we won’t be able to get any supplies. So we descend the next canyon.
    Day4 - 72 of 98.jpg


    The canyon is gorgeous and the road is an easy cruise down into the valley.
    Day4 - 73 of 98.jpg


    None of us have been in this canyon before and we’re enjoying it.
    Day4 - 74 of 98.jpg


    We start working along obscure routes through the valley. Our only goal is to get supplies for the night.
    Day4 - 76 of 98.jpg


    It’s pretty late now and we realize that this is our last chance for supplies.
    Day4 - 77 of 98.jpg


    The local market is really small but it has plenty of supplies to satisfy us. Enough options for the Adjustafork.
    Day4 - 78 of 98.jpg


    Ice in the water bladder = cold Turkey at camp.
    Day4 - 79 of 98.jpg


    Bonus farm stand. We load up on a bunch of fresh vegetables.
    Day4 - 80 of 98.jpg
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  16. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    We have one last stretch of riding before we find a camp.
    Day4 - 82 of 98.jpg


    It’s easy riding. Good thing, it’s been a long day.
    Day4 - 83 of 98.jpg


    We intend to climb a bit to get into slightly cooler temperatures. The route narrows down to a fun ATV trail. We don’t have much time left before we need to call it a night.
    Day4 - 84 of 98.jpg


    We find a flat clearing and proceed to do what we do. Holy shit did that Turkey on ice hit the spot!!!
    Day4 - 85 of 98.jpg

    In a bit, a couple of dudes show up scoping for Elk. The hunt starts the next morning. They were driving a Mahindra Roxor diesel jeep thing. The little 4 cylinder turbo diesel purred pretty nice.
    Day4 - 88 of 98.jpg

    Soon, some more folks pulled up looking for Elk as well. Being tight on time this night we weren’t able to get a proper campsite to keep us distanced from these types of kooks. One of these cats took a look at The Jack Muslim and his dime store flip flops and said something like “check this guy out, he’s ready to go, got his Jap Flaps on and everything!” Typical central Utah slur. We gave them a “courtesy laugh”. I wanted to poke at them about their goofy golf cart but I held my tongue. Too tired to make up snide comments. Meanwhile, Drey Dog's front tire is flat.
    Day4 - 89 of 98.jpg
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  17. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Yup, exactly.
    I'd like to think we're pretty calculated but they say "curiosity killed the cat"? We've had to climb out of some tough situations. You'd think we'd learn.
    Think you got your answer. :lol3
  18. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

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    WTF there wasn't some other spot to scope Elk from? Ya shoulda busted out the adj-fork and gave them the look of the devil.
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  19. everready

    everready Stuck in Ohio....Ugh!!!

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    Hunters usually have GUNS.....
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  20. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    We chose a pretty obvious clearing where ATVs often stop and turn around. Had it been 12 hours later, we mighta been able to score some fresh meat for the Adjustafork!!
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