Attempted Hijacking yesterday

Yes, ZoomerP really ought to have known better.

The tougher-acting the snowflake, the more easily they are triggered by attempts to capture the complexities of real life instead of sticking to talking-point 'solutions' that are both simple and wrong.

Better?

Smart move. In the Combative Clown Course™, this technique is covered in depth.

Clown humping can take things too far, so be careful if you've already deployed the Clown Defensive Posture™.
In the Clown Defensive Matrix™, it's on par with the more traditional Five Finger Death Punch.
Always use a safety barrier of some kind.

LOL! That's an awesome response to the inane 'reporting'. One of the things I miss about Portland was going downtown just to watch the wierdos.

Here we are 30 days later and, has there been an arrest? It would seem rather easy for someone living on the streets and of "remarkable" stature to be identified and apprehended by patrol officers within 30 days. Of course, police in my area seem more interested in talking on their cell phones while driving (against state law) and writing reports after the fact. The propensity of our courts to throw the doors open likely factors into this apparent malaise.

With a 200+ mile range and a little forethought, you should be discriminating in where and when to obtain services. That or buy a manual petcock, turn it off as you roll in to the station, then watch the hilarity from your backside. He'll be just far enough down the road when the bike dies that he's unlikely to return.

I like your fuel petcock plan. Today I will test this method and see how far my bike will go from start to stop. I will then insure I have correct ranging on my 9mm pistol to make a good hit as the thief sputters to a stop.

My newer street bike, however, has FI and no petcock, so I will have to come up with another plan.

On a serious note, if you leave your key in the ignition, I'll bet flipping the kill switch will befuddle most idiots unless they're really bike savvy. My street bike causes me to pull the key out almost as soon as I roll to a stop at the pump because of the locking cap. My dual sport with a carb doesn't. I still think the kill switch will foil most thieves at this level of competence. You might also leave the bike in gear as another element of complexity for the perceived rocket scientist to figure out.

Agreed with the kill switch idea.

Heck, the kill switch would baffle me on some mornings...

I’m an all of the above guy. Petcock off, kill switch, then key off. I’ve forgotten to turn petcock on a time or two, and within 50 yards or so you’ll get a stumble. Bucking bronco mode soon follows.

Zoomer, can we PLEASE stop with the scary clown references?

Was the battery still alive?

Good call. We should explore other avenues of self-defense with a higher likelihood of success than gunplay and badassery.

I just can't think of how I'd defend myself if I were curled up in a ball crying.

The clowning around will continue until judgement improves? ;-)

Another option, the Fish-Slapping Dance.



Note the disparity in the speed of deployment. Dual pilchards offer a quick & baffling option, but the trout is able to deliver a decisive blow in one go. Pilchards are the easier to wield, but with practice, it's clear that a trout offers a superior defence.

Most any bike could carry a pair of smallish fish astride the tank, while a larger bike would be better carried on a rear rack, or possibly a large holster affixed to an upper crash bar.

I bought my Strom off a NYC rider. It had a weird number of security modifications. The inspection sticker was in the tank bag, there was a lock on the license plate and most significantly there was a hidden kill switch on the left side. He basically cut one of the wires that turns on the FI and put a small toggle switch in a hidden spot under the bike. I never look at it, but once in a while iI get a panic attack that forgot where the switch is and I go finding it to ease my mind.

Can you loudly fart at will?

Once, my wife and I spent 5-10 minutes on a 90° day in the middle of nowhere cranking and trying to push start her bike before we realized that the kill switch was off.

I feel this idea has some potential. Keeping the same fish for longer not only saves on costs, it would also create a ghetto-version of the IDFs 'Skunk' olfactory "make them smell like piss" crowd control system. I also feel that under those considerations neither pilchards nor trouts are the best choice of fish; an entire kæstur hákarl (fermented Greenland shark) clearly is a superior choice.

Tho this method has limits. It probably works for defense against your typical 'career' mugger who hasn't yet figured it out that it is a piss-poor (or perhaps rich would be the better choice of words here? help me a bit?) career. Unfortunately it wouldn't likely have helped with the type of demographics the OP had problems: A too large fraction of that demographic already -- and very sadly, which is the only phrase in this post that isn't taking the piss -- smells like it anyway and hence would be unlikely to be bothered by it.

Thanks for your worldly input. I'm not familiar with the kæstur hákarl - what's the structural integrity like when not frozen? Another benefit would be the ability to mark your attacker for subsequent arrest.