By Jove, a new pirate joke

Discussion in 'Australia' started by Pickled Amnesiac, Jul 29, 2006.

  1. barko1

    barko1 barko1

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    By a lot of nice riding
    :topes
    numbat likes this.
  2. PBee

    PBee ...---...

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    Kersbrook
    I went to my doctor for a hearing problems & a test this week.
    He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
    I said "Homer's a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair."
  3. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2007
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    King River, Western Australia
    Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?"

    Johnny: "Seven, Sir."

    Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?"

    Johnny: "Seven, Sir."

    Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many would you have?"

    Johnny: "Six."

    Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"

    Johnny: "Seven!!! SIR!"

    A very angry Teacher: "Where in the hell do you get seven from?!?!?"

    A very angry Johnny: "Because,.... I've already got a bloody cat!!!"
    BergDonk, goochman, chicky and 12 others like this.
  4. Big Willy

    Big Willy Gen. Italia

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    Sunshine Coast
    What did the French pirate do when he dropped his bowl of blancmange?

    He custard
  5. gsd4me

    gsd4me 90% bluff

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    Brisbane, Australia
    To do a job properly, one must do the job oneself.
    queen_gun.jpg
    diabolik37 and SmittyBlackstone like this.
  6. Gasman_ADV

    Gasman_ADV Been here awhile

    Joined:
    May 1, 2012
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    873
    Cussed hard..


    Jeez that took me a while....



    :fpalm
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  7. badmanners

    badmanners Umm, yeah, no.

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2008
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    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    received_991920650970397.jpeg

    Cheers, badmanners.
    Weldr, goochman, pratered and 8 others like this.
  8. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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    King River, Western Australia
    "Please select your ring tone" said the woman as I walked into the anal bleaching clinic.
    insomnia, goochman, MickeyDee and 2 others like this.
  9. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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    Relationships are a lot like algebra.

    Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
    ECKS-Man, breil, Wodger63 and 2 others like this.
  10. Wodger63

    Wodger63 Long timer

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    2,628
    Location:
    Hervey Bay
    So as I get around my local community both in work and my own time, I see a lot of abandoned shopping trolleys.
    It then came to my attention that there is an App for your phone from the respective supermarkets where you can report these abandoned trolleys.
    So in the interest of keeping people gainfully employed and getting that warm fuzzy feeling from doing my bit for the community.

    I've been reporting abandoned Coles trolleys to Woolies and abandonded Woolies trolleys to Coles.
  11. OldDog

    OldDog non impediti ratione cogitationis

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    Feb 20, 2005
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    Location:
    Kalgoorlie, Western Australia
    They're also like a deck of cards. It starts out with hearts and diamonds and ends with clubs and spades........
  12. a2zworks

    a2zworks Así es la vida

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    Here
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  13. a2zworks

    a2zworks Así es la vida

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    Here
  14. a2zworks

    a2zworks Así es la vida

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2013
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    560
    Location:
    Here
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    SmittyBlackstone and Mouse like this.
  15. a2zworks

    a2zworks Así es la vida

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2013
    Oddometer:
    560
    Location:
    Here
  16. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2007
    Oddometer:
    4,646
    Location:
    King River, Western Australia
  17. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2007
    Oddometer:
    4,646
    Location:
    King River, Western Australia
  18. Big Willy

    Big Willy Gen. Italia

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2008
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    Location:
    Sunshine Coast
    Went to Maccas & the girl serving was wearing a burqa. I noticed it was quite dirty and tattered and a bit smelly.

    It actually put me off so we walked out and went across the road to Hungry Jacks. Here was another girl wearing a burqa.
    I was happy to see that it was clean and it actually was nicely decorated with beads and sequins.

    That's when I realised - the Burqas are Better at Hungry Jacks....
  19. Out6ack

    Out6ack Whale Rider

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    Lake Macquarie, Newcastle.
    I'll have double bacon on mine thanks :D
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  20. TenereMark

    TenereMark Where are we????????

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2012
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    Sea Lion Place, WA
    Sorry this is slow getting here, been away a couple of weeks..

    I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book he had ever read.