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Discussion in 'Australia' started by Pickled Amnesiac, Jul 29, 2006.
I went to my doctor for a hearing problems & a test this week.
He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said "Homer's a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair."
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?"
Johnny: "Seven, Sir."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?"
Johnny: "Seven, Sir."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many would you have?"
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!!! SIR!"
A very angry Teacher: "Where in the hell do you get seven from?!?!?"
A very angry Johnny: "Because,.... I've already got a bloody cat!!!"
What did the French pirate do when he dropped his bowl of blancmange?
To do a job properly, one must do the job oneself.
Jeez that took me a while....
"Please select your ring tone" said the woman as I walked into the anal bleaching clinic.
Relationships are a lot like algebra.
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
So as I get around my local community both in work and my own time, I see a lot of abandoned shopping trolleys.
It then came to my attention that there is an App for your phone from the respective supermarkets where you can report these abandoned trolleys.
So in the interest of keeping people gainfully employed and getting that warm fuzzy feeling from doing my bit for the community.
I've been reporting abandoned Coles trolleys to Woolies and abandonded Woolies trolleys to Coles.
They're also like a deck of cards. It starts out with hearts and diamonds and ends with clubs and spades........
And a joke just for @troy safari carpente
What do you call immigrants to Sweden?
Went to Maccas & the girl serving was wearing a burqa. I noticed it was quite dirty and tattered and a bit smelly.
It actually put me off so we walked out and went across the road to Hungry Jacks. Here was another girl wearing a burqa.
I was happy to see that it was clean and it actually was nicely decorated with beads and sequins.
That's when I realised - the Burqas are Better at Hungry Jacks....
I'll have double bacon on mine thanks
Sorry this is slow getting here, been away a couple of weeks..
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book he had ever read.