By Jove, a new pirate joke

Discussion in 'Australia' started by Pickled Amnesiac, Jul 29, 2006.

  1. diabolik37

    diabolik37 Deadly Gubba

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    My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me he'd drunk more than usual the day before. "What's more than usual?" I asked.

    "A carton."

    "You can drink a carton in a day?!"

    "Well," he grumbled defensively, "it doesn't take all day."
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  2. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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    My grandfather is 95 & he still doesn't need glasses.

    He drinks straight from the bottle.
  3. Big Willy

    Big Willy Gen. Italia

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    Insurance Companies are warning if your tent is stolen during the night, you wont be covered.
  4. a2zworks

    a2zworks Así es la vida

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    Kalgoorlie pub advertises for male skimpy barmaids to shake up mining town's image 9921348-3x2-940x627.jpg
  5. OldDog

    OldDog non impediti ratione cogitationis

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    Just another reason to drink at the Exchange!
  6. nevgriff64

    nevgriff64 .

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    ;
    So, they rejected your application?
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  7. diabolik37

    diabolik37 Deadly Gubba

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    Bloody hell...

    I just call Tracy and sent her my resume...

    [​IMG]

    Her reply was that beside OldDog, she already had received another 322 applications...

    Has Kalgoorlie really changed that much??? :lol3
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  8. ECKS-Man

    ECKS-Man Long timer

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    If you forget they are boomerang jokes, doesn't that make them stick jokes?
  9. dirtsurfer

    dirtsurfer Adventourer

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    The answer is too offal

    Sent from my SM-G900I using Tapatalk
  10. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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    What's brown & sounds like a bell?



    Dung.
  11. Rocking Horse

    Rocking Horse Self funded bludger

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    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick.
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  12. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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    What's brown and runny?




    Usain Bolt.
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  13. diabolik37

    diabolik37 Deadly Gubba

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    An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.

    On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."

    This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers. Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief. The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.

    When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette".

    He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women. The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".

    The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"

    With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered: "One of them is a cannibal."
  14. ktmgeoff

    ktmgeoff Remember it's not a race!

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    Judging by the likes with this joke Lentil, I think you managed to pullet off...:D
  15. buckscreek

    buckscreek AUTODIDACTIC

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    Yes but he doesn't like to crow about his yolks.........even though he cracks us up at times
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  16. lentil

    lentil All round nice guy Super Moderator

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    This one is just for you

    Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?

    A: Birds of prey
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  17. lentil

    lentil All round nice guy Super Moderator

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    This one is just for you Joe



    How do birds do break ins?

    With a crow bar

    :fpalm
  18. bikemoto

    bikemoto Tyre critic

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    Geez, @lentil ... if you do come over here, make sure you leave all those behind! :lol3
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  19. Rocking Horse

    Rocking Horse Self funded bludger

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    Or use a turkey...
  20. lentil

    lentil All round nice guy Super Moderator

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    :lol3
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